by Gabi Moore
I told everyone I jogged at night because it was less busy. That I didn’t want to be out there running with all the other joggers. But the real reason was that it was myself I was trying to avoid.
Out running, I didn’t have to limp into those dark, wee hours of the morning alone in my studio, long after my hands were tired and my eyes were sore and I had blundered through every distraction I could think of and yet still couldn’t sleep.
I told myself that I was happy she left. I didn’t want her anyway if she was even the tiniest bit conflicted. Call me selfish, I don’t care. But I wanted it all or nothing. I didn’t want to share, not even a little.
I threw down each foot hard into the tarmac, finding some sort of redemption in the fatigue growing in my thigh muscles, in my breath that looked white in the black night.
I turned a corner, swiveled on my toes and kicked off hard, pulling into a sprint, squeezing out the last shivering threads of energy from my muscles. Elbows bent, I whipped my arms through the air and ran like the devil himself was chasing me.
I knew fuck all about love. About women. But I knew how to do the simple stuff. I could make the toughest piece of snakewood submit under my axe. I could tan leather and bolt together a house from scratch if I wanted to. And I could run. I could run like my fucking life depended on it. No matter what, this physical world, this world of sinew and sweat and bone was mine. I always had that.
I felt the rubber under my soles whine and twist under me. I approached the main corner stop and saw the traffic light blink yellow. I clenched my jaw and sped up. I had to make it before it blinked red. Heart pounding, I raced up to the edge but missed it by a few feet, and came skidding to an abrupt halt.
“Fuck!” I said as a few cars trickled up to the traffic light.
And then I saw her.
In her car.
At the intersection.
My head still pounding and sweat pouring, I thought for a second she had to be a hallucination. But she stared right back at me, mouth hanging open. It was me. She was driving to see me.
I melted inside, a million questions on my face. She tightened one hand on the steering wheel and with the other opened the window.
“Mark…” she said.
It was a surreal moment. A car behind her gently revved the engine as we both turned our heads to see the lights on the opposite side turn yellow.
“Just get in!” she blurted and gestured quickly to the passenger seat. The light blinked green and she sped off just as I bunched myself into the seat and slammed the door behind me.
“Good timing, huh?” she said through a nervous little smile as we pulled off, but she kept staring straight ahead. It was dim in the car, and quiet, and cool, but somehow she lit all of that up, like a furnace, and even though she was wearing nothing but a dark grey slip dress, she seemed electric to me. Luminous.
“Were you…?”
“Coming to see you? Yeah. I was.”
I wished she would just turn and look at me with those beautiful eyes of hers.
“You got my gift.”
She briefly looked over to me and then back at the road.
“Nicky loved it,” she said simply.
“Kat, I’m so sorry, for being an ass about that. I don’t know why …I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking. This is hard for me to admit, but maybe you’re right to go for him, you know, maybe I can understand that? I can’t offer you any of that shit, I can’t do the marriage thing, I’m no good with kids …and if you needed that, well, I don’t blame you for making the smart choice, I get that you--”
“I called it all off.”
Silence.
I stared ahead of me, stunned.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too. You know, always the same thing, over and over – what’s the right thing to do? That’s my whole life, Mark. All of it. I always have to do the ethical thing. The proper thing. But somewhere along the line I lost something… it scares me how easily I nearly did that, nearly got married to him.”
Her voice trailed off as I could see she was fighting back tears.
“Maybe I don’t want to do the right thing anymore. Maybe I want to do the fun thing. The exciting thing. I met you and …god, you scared me.”
We drove on into the night, my mind racing as she picked through her words, the beginning of tears sparkling darkly on her lashes.
“I can’t explain it. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop thinking about…” she wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. As she did, the hem of her dress slipped up and something white caught my eye.
“What’s that?” I said.
Startled, she looked down at her lap, then, to my surprise, started laughing a low, bizarre laugh. She pulled the dress higher up and I could see it: a white garter belt, complete with bunched up lace and elaborate little pearls.
“I must have forgotten it there …isn’t that the stupidest thing you’ve seen in your life?” she said and burst out laughing. I nodded and stared down at it. I couldn’t help but laugh too. It was a ridiculous thing, actually. She laughed harder.
“That cost me twenty-five dollars. But really, what’s it even for?” she said, and wiped her face again.
We both stopped laughing as she approached the turn off that would take us back to my place. She stared thoughtfully down the road and then clicked the indicator in the other direction, then glided silently away from my street.
“You’re …abducting me?” I asked, still not quite sure what to make of any of this.
A little sideways smile danced on her lips but she said nothing. The traffic around us thinned as we moved deeper into the suburbs, and then after a few minutes, further out still to the edge of a large community dog park, now dark, gate closed and empty.
She angled the car onto some gravel under a few trees, turned off the ignition, and the lights in the car went dark, too. We sat together in silence, listening to one another breath. The white of the garter belt on her almost-whiter thigh stood out bright in the darkness of the car.
God, she had beautiful legs.
My mind ran and skipped ahead, and I couldn’t stop it flooding with memories of her, of the way she had twisted and gasped, of the way her hair shook as she came, of the way she smelled…
“I think I want to quit my job,” she whispered in the darkness.
“Do it,” I said. The car suddenly became a Catholic confession booth.
“I’m done working in that industry. I’m done with Anthony. With marriage, even. I don’t want to be married anymore.” Then she turned to look at me, almost as though asking for permission.
“Good. Do that,” I said.
“And I want to travel.”
I smiled.
“I want to get rid of all my ugly clothes, I hate them,” she said, raising her voice. “And I want to get a tattoo, and take up dancing… and I want …” She turned to look at me looking at the garter belt. “And I want you.”
We gazed at one another.
I felt dizzy. Here she was, my goddess, my flame-headed idol, in her pale glory and staring right at me, eyes expectant. I had never imagined it would be like this. In some random cul d sac late at night, in her car, me in my old track pants.
“Kiss me,” she said, and in an instant she had pressed eager lips onto mine, and her little tongue flicked hungrily across mine, and I could almost taste how she’d been holding her breath, how nervous she’d been.
I kissed back, exhaling a soft groan and sinking into her lips. Touching her was bliss. She inched over to my side of the car, the seats creaking after her, and placed some of her weight on me. I was instantly, almost painfully hard. I wanted her so badly it nearly made my ears ring. She kissed me and mumbled incoherently, then kissed again, then whispered desperately again and then threw herself into another kiss.
“I …I haven’t been able to get your cock out of my mine…” she breathed and I kissed her hard for saying so.
“Oh yeah? So …what e
lse do you want?”
She sighed and giggled. “I don’t know, fuck, I’m just done making decisions,” she said and kissed me again.
I grabbed her firmly and lifted her onto my lap. In the darkness we fumbled till she sat straddling square over my lap, her glorious hair hanging down like a veil around us, her deliciously warm crotch pressing down lightly onto me and it was all I could do to not lose my mind at this alone. I reached up and stroked her cheekbones, and her delicate chin, then pulled her down into another deep kiss.
She pulled back in surprise and looked at me, then down into my lap.
“Is that…?”
I grinned devilishly and ground my hips up to meet hers in response. She bit her lip, a wild look in her eyes.
“See, no wonder I’m scared of you!” she said.
I loved how neatly her little waist fit into both my outstretched hands. How light and quick she felt on top of me, even with nearly all her weight perched up there.
I stroked long, voracious hands all the way down the length of her and felt her body tighten and roll under my touch. My fingers came to that bit of white fluff on her thigh.
“This thing,” I teased, sliding my finger under the elastic and pulling it back so it came snapping down again, “this thing has got to go.”
She flopped back onto the dashboard, legs splayed wide, and extended her leg out long, toes pointed, the dress gathering at her hips.
“Then get rid of it,” she said.
I thought about peeling it off slowly. I thought about pulling it off with my teeth and burying my head close to that heady soap and skin smell I remembered so clearly from the time before. But I didn’t do that. Instead, I reached out, took the thing in my hands and tore, hard. The flimsy fabric ripped in two, beads flying, and I tossed it aside.
Her hands went up to cover her mouth as she howled in laughter.
“I can’t believe you did that!” she squealed.
“Yeah well, you said you didn’t like any of your old clothes…”
The look in her eyes went dark and naughty.
“Now tear something else,” she whispered.
I gave her a smoldering look and lunged at her, gripping the collar of her dress and yanking hard down in one brutal movement, ripping straight down the front of the cotton to reveal her heaving, bare chest and stomach underneath. She shrieked with laughter.
“I can’t believe—”
“What else should I tear?”
She was already shrugging the remains of her dress off and revealing soft, lily-white arms and two twin swells on her collarbones that made me feel strange just to look at. Her laugh was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard. I took her smiling face in my hands and kissed it. I wanted to always make her this happy.
“Now you,” she said, and soon she had peeled off all my clothing, one awkward piece at a time, hands and knees bumping the car door, both of us giggling like horny teenagers. She went quieter and quieter and then paused, her little hands splayed on my naked chest, staring down at my rock-hard cock.
“You know, when I first met you, I just had a feeling you were going to hurt me.” She gave me a cheeky smile. She was hovering above me now, her plump little pussy even juicer than I remember and so soft and hot against me I nearly broke my back arching up my hips towards her. Like she was hypnotized, she slowly slid herself down and then up my length, generously dousing me in that sweet honey of hers, till I thought I’d go crazy.
She was changing before my eyes. The little mischievous glint in her eyes became fully brazen, and her hips were moving more quickly. I groaned and held her there in my lap, hands on her waist.
“Yeah, it’s going to hurt,” I said, breath hot in her ear. “But I’m only ever going to hurt you just exactly how you like it.” At this she moaned and squirmed.
I slid my hand over her taut belly and stroked slow circles there, landing my thumb at her opening, then pressed down and gently stroked tiny, insistent swirls over her ripe little clit. Her body went limp as she relaxed into it. She lowered her lips more and put her full, wet weight on my cock, and together we moved like this, all breath and whimper and tiny, tiny movements that the whole world suddenly seemed hinged on.
My fingers were soon drenched, as was my stomach. I loved how fucking wet she got. I momentarily regretted that we weren’t in the studio. That I couldn’t cuff her. Tie her. That I couldn’t watch the pink of my whip left behind on her ass cheeks…
“I want it to hurt,” she said and flopped down onto my chest, her hair cocooning us.
I growled and sunk my fingers deeper into the flesh at her waist. She didn’t need to tell me twice. I was aching for her. Both hands on her inner thighs I pressed her open even further, then touched the head of my cock against her little wet hole. My hips shuddering, I guided my way into her, her snug body stretching around me, till she gasped out and held out a hand to halt me.
“Holy shit…” she breathed, her eyes half-closed and mouth hanging open. “Holy shit that’s a lot… that’s…”
I adored the feeling of her little pussy fluttering and tightening all around me. Screw it, I didn’t need any cuffs or ropes or props. This was enough. Every inch I slid inside her told her exactly who was in charge. Slowly, in silence, I eased her onto the next inch, and the next. She exhaled loudly. Her face was beautiful, wincing up in delicious pain, her eyes squeezed closed as she tried to adjust to being opened up so wide. To being dominated.
“That’s …only halfway,” I teased.
She looked down and her eyes widened.
“Oh god…”
I gripped the hair at the base of neck in my fist, then pulled her quivering body down, further down onto my cock, one delicious breath at a time. She went limp in my arms, her head falling back easily. She groaned low and long as I ploughed into her right to the base, so deep inside that her little pink pussy lips kissed against the flat of my belly. I bounced inside her and felt her entire body recoil from the sensation.
I could feel her excitement. Her body twitched and rolled in waves around me. The fit was tight enough that I felt I could come, just like this, just being so far inside her. From the delirious look on her face, I knew that she was close to coming too. Well, for the first time, that is.
I leaned in to kiss her softly folded belly, her nipples, but she was out of it. Her head was loose and she was somewhere far, in a reverie.
“I’ve never …I’ve never…” she muttered.
She didn’t need to finish. I knew exactly what she was saying. Her body was telling me right that instant. I would have loved nothing more than to grab both her wrists in my hands right then, pin her down and fuck her savagely until she couldn’t see straight. But I could tell how intense it was for her. I could tell how overwhelming it was to have such an immense beast crammed in right to the hilt, and what can I say, I felt bad for her.
So instead I moved very, very gently. I flexed hard, making my cock bounce inside her, and held her close to feel her reaction. I swear to god she was nearly purring.
“You like that, huh…?” I said quietly, as she shuddered around me, and then I bounced again. She was loving it. Just as she began to moan I pressed deeper into her, driving the full strength of my hips up in her little body, pressing her wide open.
She cried out.
“Does that feel good? Hm? Shhh…”
“I’m going to…” she said, nestling into the crook of my neck.
“Do it. Fucking do it. Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” I whispered.
She screamed as she came. From somewhere deep inside her, her body pulsed once, hard, and then again and then again. But I was holding her down. I was filling her up. She couldn’t go anywhere. She could only stay, right there with me, and come with me still inside her. I gripped hard on her shoulders and pulled her down.
“Shhh… shh …now come let’s do another.”
The sounds she made were indescribable.
She cried out as I pulled the
full, glistening length of my cock out of her, and perched herself high up on her haunches, her pretty cheeks now glowing with sweat. Swollen head still tucked inside her, I pulled her back down again, so slowly it took us nearly a dozen breaths to travel an inch, then another to go the next inch…
Almost instantly she was fired up again. I could feel that she was ready for more. Could feel how badly she wanted me. Her warm, wet cunt gave less resistance now, and I swear I could still feel the faint convulsions of her last orgasm. This time, her hands clutched eagerly at my biceps as I slid in. She was warming up.
And so we went like this. Fucking in slow motion. It was enough just to be in her. And judging by the way her toes curled and clenched, it was enough for her just to feel it all being slowly stuffed inside. When I was nearly all the way inside again, in that warm, gorgeous hole, I saw her twitching and tightening up again.
“Ready for another?” I said, but no sooner had I spoken had she started to scream again.
I watched in wonder as she came, again, so hard I could feel her clenching down on me. I grunted and thrust up hard into her, and after a moment she flopped down onto me again, sweat in beads in her hair, face flushed and a look of pure bliss on her face. I couldn’t believe it, but she felt even more swollen inside, even more open and hungry for me. Just the thought sent lightning bolts through me and before I could stop myself I was coming hard, too, squirting hot shots of cum deep inside her body, crying out as I filled her with every last drop I had.
“Again,” she said, with me still buried in her.
She was like magic in my lap. The more she orgasmed the more she seemed to want. To my surprise, I was rock hard again. That had never happened before. I pulled out again, watched her face contort briefly, and then, head still in her, I started again, guiding myself slowly, slowly, slowly into her body, both of us so sensitized we seemed to respond to even one another’s breath, to the slightest movements we made.
I don’t know how long we went like this. We clasped each other tightly, and in silence I slowly, slowly, slowly packed myself into her, each fraction of an inch pushing her closer, filling her to the brim with the most delightful pressure, so much so that by the time I was all the way in, she came again. And so did I. And then I’d slide out again.