by Gabi Moore
She gave me another knowing look.
“Uh …thanks?” I mumbled.
The cashier handed me some receipts, I signed on the dotted line and then turned to leave. The bleached haired woman nodded to me and then breezily started talking to the cashier herself. I stood off to the side, a little taken aback for a moment, and then left the building.
What a bizarre day it was turning out to be. Why not? If I was letting intuition guide me, then why not …psychics? I laughed to myself as I walked out into the parking lot. I had wanted a less ordinary life. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.
I finished a few other errands and hurried to Lily’s to pick up Nicky and take her over to see the new apartment. Moving in had turned out to be a days-long affair, and Lily had mercifully agreed to babysit Nicky while I sorted it all out. I had promised her that once her room was unpacked and everything laid out properly, we could spend the first night there, and I’d get us pizza and we’d watch movies.
I bundled her into the car along with her bags and three separate plush toy dignitaries and we waved goodbye to Lily and set off for the new apartment.
Strange, but the whole thing reminded me of my college days. The mood, the black bags of bedding tucked in the back seat… I would have felt like I was moving into a new dorm room, only now my roomie was a kindergartener and the course I had enrolled for was called ‘getting back on your feet after your entire life crashes and burns’.
I smiled to myself and Nicky, and I sang songs till we arrived at the new place.
“It smells like dog food in here!” she announced as I cracked open the door and peered in.
“It’s just a little stale, honey. Help me open up some windows.”
She bounded off and I took a look around. Half opened boxes, and the curtains hadn’t been put up in the kitchen yet. But it looked good. It felt good.
With perfect timing, landline suddenly rang. It was a new line and he was the only one who had the number so far.
“Well hello.”
“Hey.”
The phone was silent as we both tried to think of what to say to one another.
“I got your email,” he said eventually. I heard myself exhaling into the receiver.
“I’ve been thinking about all the things you said in it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And I think it’s a good idea.”
I smiled and walked around the room, examining the dust on the floorboards.
“Good to hear,” I said.
“Good.”
“Yes, good.”
We both giggled.
“Are we crazy?” I asked him, then flopped down into the still plastic-wrapped sofa.
“I don’t know. But there’s nobody else I’d rather be crazy with, if that helps.”
I could hear the smile in his voice.
“It does help,” I said.
I wanted to tell him how much I missed him. How desperately I just wanted him here, with me, right now. I just wanted his warm, hard chest and to lean into it and forget about everything.
“By the way, your new design is selling like hotcakes.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh. I think you have a real eye, Kat.”
I scoffed.
“It’s just a fancy bed. No big deal.”
“Yeah well, you’ve obviously tapped into something. I can’t make them fast enough.”
“Pffft…”
“What about yours? When are you getting rid of that nasty thing of yours and letting me make you something pretty for your bedroom?”
“I already said not to worry about anything for—”
“Nonsense. I’m making you a bed, and that’s that. A twisty four-poster. Scandinavian style, I know the kind of thing you like.”
“Mark…”
“And I’ll carve your initials into it, too.”
“And do I get sneaky hidden latches and bolts and things?”
“Naturally” he said. “It’ll be uh …a multipurpose bed.”
Even months later, he could still turn me on in a split second. The soft, low growl of his voice sent a delicious little ripple through me that pulsed right to the end of my clit. I leant against a wall and lowered my voice.
“I miss you,” I whispered.
“I miss your ass.”
I giggled.
“It’s been too long,” I complained.
“Do you think I could make you come over the phone?” he said.
“Well, you’ve made me come every other single way, I wouldn’t put it past you.”
“Challenge accepted,” he purred through the line.
“Mark, I’m wet.”
“Fuck yes.”
“I was thinking about you this morning…”
“Oh? And what were you thinking?”
“Mommy! Why does it smell like dog food everywhere?!”
I spun around and saw Nicky standing in the door, with a look of disgust on her face that only she could muster, her wooden horse dragging behind her. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. When I finally put the phone again to my ear, Mark was giggling too.
“Mommy, for real, why does it smell like dog food at your house?” he teased.
“Shut up, you!” I said.
“Mommy is it Mark?” Nicky said. “I want to say hello.”
I lowered the handset down to her and she took it in her tiny, fat pink hands, then held it up against her ear. I could hear Mark’s faint voice coming through the line, but she said nothing in reply.
“Nicky, say hello,” I said. She lifted her big eyes to me.
“Hello, Mark,” she said dutifully, then immediately handed the phone back to me and toddled off, the wooden horse clattering like hell behind her.
“She’s hilarious,” he said once I took the phone again.
“Well, she drives me bonkers.”
The phone was silent for a moment.
“Kat, I’m looking forward to it,” he said, his voice again dipping low.
“Me too,” I whispered.
“It’s a big step.”
“I know, but I want to do it with you.”
“I know. Me too.”
We said our hushed, hurried goodbyes and I hung up, and before I had any time to think about it, Nicky came whizzing into the room again and I decided to get her to help me unpack some boxes. She sat opposite me on the floor and we peeled the newspaper off wine glasses for a while, then chatted about pizza. It was a good, sweet, perfect moment. And in my mind, I thought about all the good, sweet, perfect moments ahead of me. I was petrified, truly. But in a few days Mark would meet Nicky, and we’d head off together for a break to the mountains, just us three.
Chapter 22 - Mark
I have the quintessential ‘edgy’ lifestyle. I do things in my down time that would make even an open-minded girl blush hard. I’ve endured countless tattoos and circular saw accidents and one summer I felled a 90-foot redwood with nothing but grit and a hand axe.
So I had to laugh that I sweating bullets this morning at the mere thought of meeting the acquaintance of a two-and-a-half-year-old toddler.
I checked and double-checked the camping gear. I had already called Valerie the night before for moral support and she had laughed uproariously at me, telling me I should thank my lucky stars for the love of a good woman and to just call her when I got back. I wiped sweaty hands down the front of my jeans and nervously peeked out the window again. They were late.
I drummed my fingers on a loose plank of mahogany and tried to calm my nerves. Some people, I guess, are like saplings. Still growing, still pliant. You’re not quite sure what the final shape will be, but it’s pretty in the meantime. I remember cutting down an alder once up north with my father, and the following year we came back, there was another tiny alder growing right in the middle, a little leafy green phoenix, utterly undeterred.
A horn beeped outside and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I scrambled to open the gate and almost immediately they both
blustered in. Little Nicky came skipping in first and stopped to stare up at me with a silly look on her face. Her mother followed behind her, placed her hands on the little girl’s shoulders and smiled at me.
‘Well look at this! It’s Mark! Why don’t we say hello, Nicky?” she said, and knelt down to give the girl a kiss. Nicky blushed and muttered “hello” and tried to squirm to hide behind her mother.
“Mark, is the one that made your pony for you, remember?”
“Thank you, Mark,” she peeped.
She was like a perfect replica of her mother. It was uncanny. It wasn’t just the violently copper hair though – the little one was a match right down to her cheekbones, her little hazelnut nose and the way her chin came sharply to a point. I knelt down as well, although it felt awkward as hell. I had avoided rugrats all my life. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I had seen one up this close ever before.
“Hey, Nicky, how’s it going?” I said, and extended my hand to hers. She took it matter-of-factly and shook it, like a miniature business woman.
“Wow! That’s a firm grip. Hope you liked your pony.”
She lit up.
“His name’s Gregory,” she said. “We can’t bring him to the mountains because ponies don’t like mountains.”
“Bummer.”
Kat laughed at her and hoisted her up in her arms and planted another kiss on her forehead.
“Mark is coming with us to the mountains, remember mommy said?” she said into her ear. Nicky idly chewed on her little pink fingers and nodded, staring straight ahead.
She seemed so …small. And fragile. How in the hell was she speaking? I reminded myself to take a deep breath. I could do this. I loved Kat with all my heart. And this was just a little Kat, right? If Kat loved her, then I loved her. That was just logic. It didn’t matter that I felt like I was in the most stressful interview of my life, I would figure out a way to win this little girl’s heart if it was the last thing I did.
Nicky was pointing to me with a quizzical look on her face.
“Oh, she’s never seen tattoos before,” Kat said, laughing.
Motherhood looked good on her. There was something really sexy about the way it was so simple for her to balance the little one on her hip before. I knew I would be seeing another side to her this weekend, but I didn’t anticipate thinking that side would be so …cute?
I rolled up my sleeves and showed her all my tats. She smiled and poked her fingers at them, then tried to rub them off.
“Nicky! Me!” she squealed.
Kat put her down and laughed. “Sure baby, you can have tattoos. Just as soon as you turn eighteen.”
Nicky ran off into the garden. Kat lifted curious eyes to me. They were eyes that were filled with vague, tender questions. She said nothing, just waited for me to speak.
“Only a woman so beautiful could make such a beautiful child,” I said, and then winced at how cheesy I must have sounded.
She grinned.
“Oh man, you look awkward as hell. She doesn’t bite you know” she teased, and poked my ribs.
She took a step forward and came up close to me, dropped her voice and grazed her lips against mine.
“Are you ready for this weekend?” she said with a naughty look in her eyes.
“Absolutely,” I said and softly kissed her lower lip, lingering there for a moment to wait for the electricity to build between us.
Even dead still, even with us both holding our breath, she was still the most wildly exciting woman to me. Slinking my hand to the back of her neck I pulled her in for a deeper kiss, tasting her tentatively, her little tongue caressing secretly against mine.
“Let’s get going then!” she said, and pulled away, smiled broadly at me and then grabbed my backpack and slung it over your shoulder.
“So we’re really doing this, huh? A weekend away with a four-year-old. Ok. All right. Tell me I can do this, Kat,” I teased as we headed for the door.
She turned and gave me a saucy look and a wink.
“If it all gets too much for you, don’t worry, the safe word is ‘Barney’”.
She called out for Nicky, who came running and we all bundled ourselves into the car to leave.
If you had told me a year ago that I’d find myself heading off for a family getaway with a smoking hot redhead and her toddler, I would have asked you to pull the other one. And yet here I was. And it was …kinda nice. She looked fresh and happy and relaxed in a white and blue dress, and as she smiled over to me as I buckled up, a new sensation washed over me. We were on a different adventure. It hit me like a revelation: I didn’t care whether we went to massive S&M party or whether we went for a good old fashioned farmer’s market on a Sunday morning. All that mattered was that it was with her. The only thing better than seeing that beautiful smile plastered on her face was the thrill of knowing that if I played my cards right, the reason she’d smile would be me.
Deep down, I was all sorts of fucked up. I was immature; a child myself, to be honest. Going on this damn weekend would be the single most nerve-wracking event of my life. But to hell with it. I’d learn to be better about it. I’d learn to do the whole stepdad deal. Really. And though it scared the shit out of me, I could be a dad figure, if she wanted it. Till I figured out how, though, I’d just keep making wooden ponies and hope I picked it up along the way.
Chapter 23 - Kat
I tried my best to hide how nervous I was. I didn’t want to be one of those women, the kind who introduced their flaky-ass boyfriends to their children, only to break everyone’s heart when he ditched them all.
But to my surprise, Mark actually seemed to be getting on with Nicky. It was around an hour in and we had hit a long, flat road, and to my amusement they both settled into a long, totally stupid game of eye-spy.
“Something ‘ginning with zee!” Nicky yelled from her car seat in the back.
“With zee? Is it a zeeeeebra?” he yelled back, and she howled with laughter. Then she suddenly went serious.
“No, silly, there’s no zebras.”
“Ok, I give up, what did you choose?”
“I choose car!” she cried.
“But car doesn’t begin with z?”
“No it doesn’t!” she said and I felt her little legs kicking the back seat.
He turned to me.
“Kat, I don’t want to alarm you, but I don’t think your daughter knows how to play eye-spy” he said and raised a cute eyebrow at me.
“I’m not surprised, I don’t think she knows what letters are, so…”
“Mummy! Mark doesn’t know how to play eye-spy,” she yelled.
The two carried on, Mark leaning back to defend his case and Nicky trouncing him utterly with her watertight four-year-old logic.
The nerves had died down and now, yes, I was enjoying myself. Two of the most important people in the world to me were in the car right now, and they seemed to be getting on like a house on fire. I almost didn’t want to say anything for fear of jinxing it all. He turned in his seat and faced forward for a second. God he was good looking. How the hell had I managed that?
“I see you and little pipsqueak over there are getting on well,” I said, smiling at him.
“Crazy, huh?”
“Well… I was worried you guys wouldn’t bond, but you’re just perfectly on one another’s level,” I said and pulled my tongue at him.
He playfully swatted my knee but it was though we were both magnetized to one another and he just kept it there, squeezing the top of my thigh just so. We couldn’t do any more than that. Not while I was driving. Not with Nicky right there. Of course not….
And yet, just his touch was distracting enough. I let my knees float apart a little. I know he noticed, even though he said nothing and kept staring straight ahead. One hand on the wheel, I put the other on the hem of the skirt and slid it up, just a few inches. Without skipping a beat his hand followed, cupping the warm, exposed flesh in his broad hands. It drove me wild.
/> We were at least another hour away from out little mountain camp site. But with Mark, somehow less was always more. This was, after all, the man who had first made me come with nothing more than a puff of air. The thought alone made me squirm and readjust in my seat a little. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like Mark’s ninja sex skills were the perfect match for life with a toddler. He was a very, very creative man. He knew how to make me melt with a look. He could have me wet and begging with just a few kisses on my wrist. If anyone could squeeze in a few secret orgasms around the chaos of Nicky’s schedule, it was him.
By the time we found the place and pulled up to reception, I was desperately hot and bothered. Mark smiled, cool as can be, and hauled all our stuff out the car, went to fetch our key and bantered with Nicky all the while, who was now following him like an excited puppy.
I leaned against the car and tried to catch my breath. This was never what my happily-ever-after looked like in my mind. Mark was younger than me, covered in tattoos and made his living making sex toys, for heaven’s sake. And yet …this felt more right than anything I’d done for a good long while.
We set up camp and Mark helped Nicky unpack her stuffed toys and her coloring book. I hovered on the sidelines like a hungry jackal, waiting for the moment I could finally pounce on him.
“Ok, mom, I’m ready now,” she said and stood before me in her frilled pink swim suit and little rubber shoes.
It had taken ages to organize this little vacation, but it all centered around a sweet two-hour period where Nicky would have a group swimming lesson in the lake and Mark and I would sneak off and …well, it almost felt too naughty to think of while she was right there, staring up at me with those cartoon character eyes.
“What about your pool ring?” I asked.
“Mark has it,” she said and gestured to him, following behind her like the world’s unlikeliest butler.
He had also changed, into a shirt he knew I liked the best. It was a little tighter across the pecs than his other ones, and showed off all his ink to perfection. Call me shallow, I guess. I put on my flip-flops to join them to the lake but they both stopped me.
“Mom, Mark is taking me only,” Nicky said and lifted her eyebrows at me. I glanced at him, he shrugged and smiled and off they went. They were cute together, that was for sure.