by Wild Jinx
Until recently, Angel had worn his long black hair in a ponytail and his body in leather . . . lots of leather. For some reason, he’d gone conservative lately . . . well, conservative for Angel. Today he wore a muscle shirt that showed off a barbed wire tattoo, boot-cut jeans, and motorcycle boots. And his hair was short . . . almost military short.
“Sweet cheeks, my tail is just fine,” Angel drawled. “Your problem is frustration, pure and simple. Celibacy will do that. Nothing a little hot sex won’t remedy. When was the last time you got laid, by the way . . . pre–Vatican One, or, could it be . . . never?”
“And you’d like to be the one to remedy that situation? Too little, too late.”
“No one has ever called me little.” He paused and grinned. “Did you hear about the nun who went to her first confession and told the priest she had a terrible secret . . . she never wore panties under her habit. Well, that priest was no dummy. He told her to say five Hail Marys and do five cartwheels on the way out of church.”
“Very funny,” Grace said, not laughing.
“What I was wondering, sweetheart, was . . . ” Angel paused for drama, “Do you wear panties?”
“Grow up!”
“Ahem! Back to the reason for your visit,” Veronica interrupted. “I don’t understand why you want to join Jinx. What about poker?”
Angel shrugged. “It’s lost its zing for me.”
“Me, too,” Grace said. “We’ve both won more than we’ve lost. Money is no longer an issue.”
“Plus there are all these young Turks with calculator minds, figuring all the angles. What’s the fun in that?”
“Okay, but why treasure hunting?” Veronica asked.
“I’m a born gambler and adventurer. Searching for treasure has to be as risky as gambling. And one of the last bastions for adventure,” Angel explained.
“And maybe I might find a hunk to un-bore me.” Grace waggled her eyebrows.
“Hey, I’m a hunk.”
Veronica was puzzled by their behavior. “Are you two a couple?”
“No!” they both said.
“But you’re applying for a job here as a package deal?”
“Yep,” Angel said.
“We’re friends,” Grace added.
“With benefits?” Angel asked Grace with mock hopefulness.
“You wish!”
“Do you have any experience?” Veronica asked.
“I did some diving in the Navy,” Angel told her.
“I mountain climb as a hobby.” Grace stood and began looking at the framed photographs on the wall. Mostly they were pictures and newspaper clippings of her grandfather on some of his more famous expeditions.
Angel confessed, “Actually, Jake recommended that we come talk to you. He made it sound really exciting and implied it was learn-as-you-go type work.”
“And this subject came up in what context?”
“We were talking about how poker was no longer a challenge, and—”
“Jake, too?” Veronica was a little surprised and a lot hopeful. She’d wanted Jake to quit for a long time.
“Well, yeah, I mean . . . ” Angel was embarrassed at having let slip something that he hadn’t known was a secret.
“What do you do for an encore, big mouth?” Grace inquired sweetly of Angel.
Veronica was going to kill Jake when he got home . . . after she kissed him about thirty-seven times. “Here’s the deal, guys. I have a small team down in Louisiana now, looking for pirate treasure.”
“Oooh, I love pirates,” Grace cooed.
“Correction. She loves Johnny Depp,” Angel explained to Veronica.
“Same thing,” Grace contended.
“It sounds more glamorous than it is. We’re talking swamps, digging, heat, bugs, and snakes. If you’re still interested, one of my team members dropped out, Brenda Caslow, and I could send you down there as sort of apprentices. Or you could wait ’til the next project. I have several on the calendar. A lost show cat. A collection of Victorian erotic pictures. An Incan treasure. A sunken Viking ship. A vial of bull semen. One of Cleopatra’s wigs.”
With each item she mentioned, their jaws dropped further.
“Bull semen?” Angel choked out.
“Erotic pictures?” Grace’s green eyes shone with un-nun-like interest.
“So, are you in?” Veronica asked.
“Like Flynn.” Angel smiled at her.
She called Adam then; he was the manager on the Pirate Project. The satellite phone on the other end rang seven times before Adam picked up. “Famosa here.”
“Hi, Adam. How’s the project going?”
He strung out about seven foul words. “Nothing so far. Peachey and LeDeux are diving now with a metal detector and camera. We did eight dives yesterday and four so far today. No friggin’ treasure in sight.”
“Are you saying we should scrap the project?”
He exhaled with a whoosh. “No. It’s just been a bad day. Mud. Bugs. Snakes. Gators. Tante Lulu.”
“What’s the old lady done now?”
“Everything.” He paused. “She wants to make me a hope chest.”
“Uh-oh. Matchmakers R Us. I thought she was concentrating on John.”
“That’s another thing. While we were gone overnight, LeDeux and that newspaper reporter had wild monkey sex. Lots of it, by the looks of them.”
“Does it affect his work?”
“Well, no, but—”
“A little jealous, are you, Adam?”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what the Cajun Casanova does. We’re going to continue with the dives for the rest of today, but if we don’t hit pay dirt or anything even close, we’re moving our search onto land tomorrow.”
“Don’t be discouraged, Adam. Treasure hunts rarely produce results the first day or two. Remember that Panama hunt; it took us a month to find the lost documents.”
“When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know. Jake’s still alive in the tournament.”
“That’s good.”
“Listen, the reason I called is to ask whether you could use two more hands on the project.”
“Can they shovel?”
Veronica looked at Angel and Grace, who were both studying the photographs now and carrying on a low conversation. “Yes, I think they know one end of a shovel from another.”
“Is Grace the hot nun?”
“The hot ex-nun.”
“Hubba-hubba!”
Adam had been hanging around with Tante Lulu for too long. Veronica hadn’t heard that expression in ages, probably from her grandfather the last time he saw his girlfriend Flossie in stilettos and fishnet stockings.
An hour later, after the two of them filled out a number of work papers and she gave them the directions to Tante Lulu’s cottage, where they would be picked up tomorrow, they headed toward the door.
And Angel needled Grace some more. “Did you hear about the two nuns cycling down a cobbled street?”
“No, and I don’t want to.”
He continued anyway, “The first nun says she’s never come this way before, and the second nun says it must be the cobbles. C’mon, Gracie, lighten up. You have to admit that one was funny.”
“I am no longer a nun. Get that? Nun jokes don’t work on a non-nun, idiot.”
“Wanna take a ride on my Harley, honey? Over some cobbled streets?”
“Aaarrgh!”
“Good luck, guys,” Veronica said, then muttered to herself. “Tante Lulu is going to be in matchmaker’s heaven when she gets a gander at these two.”
Oops, they did it again . . .
“That’s it for this section. Ready to give it up?” John inquired inside his mouthpiece, which was wired to Caleb’s ear mike. They were swimming underwater, beside each other, after another unsuccessful dive . . . the fourth of the morning.
“Roger,” Caleb replied. “Time for a lunch break anyhow.”
“Go ahead without me. I’m going to s
wim a bit. Here, take the camera with you.”
“Is it safe . . . to swim alone?”
“Please, this is the bayou . . . my home. Besides, I have a speargun on me.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Oh, Caleb . . . ”
“Yeah?”
“Watch out for snakes.”
Caleb gave him the finger, then swam to the surface, John’s laughter rippling in his ears.
John swam away from the area where Caleb was splashing out. He had plenty of air left in his tank for a leisurely crawl near the bottom. This was the first opportunity he’d had to be really alone for days, the first chance to think about recent events and what to do about them, not the least of which was Celine-I-am-so-screwed!-Arseneaux.
His head lamp illuminated the tea-colored water, but only a few yards at a time.
Like his life, really.
He knew the direction he wanted to travel in his life, but that was about it. The final destination was up in question, the specifics all short-term . . . as far as his head lamp, or short-circuited brain, could reach.
He liked law enforcement and was good at it. He would have preferred the FBI, but the prospect of living in a city all the time put him off, big-time, especially DC. And he was too southern to park his carcass in Yankee land for any length of time.
As for his personal life, he’d thought he was cool. Enjoy the single life for a few more years . . . or a dozen. Then settle down finally . . . maybe . . . with a babe hot enough to keep him from straying. Pamela Anderson with a brain. Yeah, he laughed to himself, pure clueless male delusion fantasy.
And now . . . and now, there was Celine.
She meant nothing to him.
And she meant everything to him. When did that happen?
How could he have made love with Celine Arseneaux?
How could he have resisted?
His life was becoming one colossal SNAFU . . . situation normal, all fucked up. Everyone thought he was a screwup, but he’d done a good job the last few years, at least on the outside, of living a pretty normal life.
Making love with Celine Arseneaux was not normal; it was insane. A FUBAR factor of about a thousand percent. A disaster in the making. But, man oh man, it had been the best sex he had ever had. And that was remarkable.
Which made it all the harder to keep his resolution not to go looking for a repeat.
A dark cloud passed overhead, almost like a celestial warning, but he soon realized it was just a raft of duckweed passing by. Yep, he was going off the deep end when he started getting celestial messages in duckweed. But he figured it was time to hightail it out of Dodge before he became gator lunch. Next the duckweed shadow might really be a gator.
When he was up on dry ground again, he saw that everyone had gone back to the headquarters site to eat lunch. He tugged off his diving suit and equipment, thought about hanging out here, but then realized he hadn’t eaten any breakfast after Tante Lulu’s cane syrup remark.
Cane syrup. That brought an involuntary smile of remembrance to his lips. One of the biggest surprises about making love with Celine . . . and there had been hot damn more than a few . . . had been how uninhibited and inventive she had been once she’d passed over that line between “Should I?” and “Oh, baby!”
It was going to be hard not making love with her again. Hard being the operative word.
He had just shrugged out of his wet suit when all his best intentions went to hell. Celine had come back.
They were alone.
He already knew what turned her on.
She already knew what turned him on.
They could take care of business and still return for lunch.
He gave her his best “come hither” smile.
She snorted her opinion of his smile. “Get real! I came back to tell you about your aunt.”
Okay, so Celine hadn’t returned for a nooner . . . dammit!
“Something strange is going on with your aunt.”
“Something strange is always going on with my aunt.”
“This is different. First of all, she was lying down when we got back. Your brother went up to her right away, but she said she was just resting.”
John was concerned. His aunt never rested during the day. He was about to pull on his jeans and rush back to see what was up, but Celine put a hand on his arm.
Big mistake, that.
His dick interpreted her touch in a way Celine surely hadn’t intended.
“Just a second. There’s more. She’s acting really strange toward me . . . hostile, even.” Her hand still remained on his arm.
He frowned. “Because of last night?” I am not looking at her shirt. I am not imagining how her breasts look. I am not thinking sex against that tree over there.
“I don’t know.”
Huh? He’d lost the thread of her conversation.
“She didn’t seem upset earlier, but something serious is going on now. Something had to have happened while we were gone. And you should be forewarned . . . ”
“Yeah?”
“She told René that she wanted to go back to her home tonight and stay for a couple of days.”
He shrugged. “Nothing wrong with that.”
“She said she wanted to go back before she strangled you.”
“Me? She loves me. I’m her favorite.”
But then something remarkable happened. Celine no longer had a hand on his arm. In fact, she’d stepped back a few steps. But she was staring at his body, below the Mason-Dixon line.
He glanced down to see if you-know-who was misbehaving. He wasn’t, or not much. But he realized that his swimming trunks had been shoved down by his wet suit. The waistband barely hugged his hips, exposing his waist, his navel, and a lot of his belly.
Celine still stared at him, but then she licked her lips.
“That does it,” he said, pulling a foil packet from his jeans pocket, then picking her up by the waist and walking the few feet to the tree. He lifted her under the knees so that her legs wrapped around him and his love boat was riding its favorite channel.
They were wildly kissing each other while she rocked her hips against him. His eyes were probably rolling back in their sockets.
Suddenly, she took him by the ears and held him away from her. “We can’t. No condom,” she gasped out.
He smiled and waggled his eyebrows at her. “Surprise, surprise!” He pulled the condom from his swimming trunks’ pocket, tore it open with his teeth, and was sheathed, all in a nanosecond.
“Where?” she choked out.
“Tante Lulu’s purse.”
She groaned.
“Don’t worry. She’ll never know.”
They made love then. Against a tree, with his suit down at his ankles and her shorts and panties tossed over his shoulder, they risked embarrassment if any of the team returned early. It was short and sweet, but unbelievably hot.
At first, they were both silent as they dressed, both regretting their having sex again. Both were puzzled by this wild chemistry between them.
As they began to walk back to the cabin, she glared at him.
“What? It wasn’t my fault,” he protested.
“Well, it sure as hell wasn’t mine.”
“You started it.”
“Earth to alien! I can’t stand you.”
“Coulda fooled me. Honey, you were looking at my belly button like it was the Holy Grail of sex.”
“You had a condom with you. Talk about premed- itation.”
“Now you’re complaining because I was sensitive and considerate enough to think of protection.”
“Mister, you are the Howard Stern of sensitivity.”
Now, she’d gone too far. She thought he was insensitive. Well, he’d show her insensitive. “Have I told you lately how much I like your breasts? You have what guys call Pepto nips.”
“Drop. Dead.”
“Besides, I’m not the one who’s engaged here. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor Delbert!”<
br />
That shut her up, but she looked as if her head might explode.
They returned to René’s cabin a half hour later, together. And everyone noticed. Even though they arrived about five feet apart, which should have announced, loud and clear, that they were not enamored with each other.
René just shook his head at him.
Famosa said something about redneck screwups, or maybe it was redneck screwing.
He went right up to his aunt where she was dishing out food. “I’m back, Auntie. What’s for lunch?”
A stricken expression passed over her wrinkled face before she turned and walked away from him. She looked every one of her ninety-two years.
What could have happened in the four hours since he’d been gone?
The father of the year is . . . WHO? . . .
Luc had come with Remy in his hydroplane to pick up Tante Lulu later that day. René had alerted him to the fact that their aunt was upset about something.
And, whoo-boy, she was definitely upset, and most of it seemed to be directed at Tee-John. Despite everyone’s pleas, she wouldn’t explain. Instead, she told Tee-John before they’d left, “I jist have some things ta work out. I’ll talk to ya when I figger the answers. You’ll be the first ta know, guar-an-teed. Dontcha be worryin’ none.”
Yeah, like they weren’t all worried after that mysterious statement.
Remy landed the hydroplane in the stream in front of Remy’s house. While Remy jumped out to secure the plane, Luc turned to his aunt, who had been unusually quiet on the return trip. He was the oldest of the brothers, the one who’d been engaged for the longest time in helping Tante Lulu fight Valcour LeDeux. Usually, she confided in him, but now she was shutting him out.
“Are you gonna tell me now?”
“I cain’t, Luc.”
“Yes, you can.”
“It’s jist a suspicion.”
“About what?”
She shook her head sadly.
“Maybe I can help.”