by Rita Black
As you learn to tame the fear, shame, and overwhelming expectations of the Inner Critic, you build confidence in yourself and your ability to succeed in the long-term.
APPRENTICE PAUSE: Do you think it’s best to get rid of the Inner Critic altogether? Not so fast. Your Inner Critic may be causing you to stay in the Weight Struggle Cycle, but banishment isn’t a good idea. The Inner Critic has some valid ideas from time to time. Your task is to prevent your Inner Critic from running the show. Let your Inner Coach manage your Inner Critic so both become your inner support team.
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Okay, is that Inner Critic being quiet? Good. Time to visit that other voice, the one that takes your power away with seduction—Skill 9, Managing your Inner Rebel.
CHAPTER 34
WEIGHT MASTERY SKILL 9
Managing Your Inner Rebel
SKILL 9: Managing Your Inner Rebel. This skill manages the big bold energy of the Inner Rebel who wants to resist embracing new healthy habits. The Inner Rebel seduces you to disconnect from your weight release vision and pursue momentary pleasures.
When I think of someone who symbolizes the Inner Rebel to me, I imagine the iconic black-and-white photo of James Dean taken from the 1955 movie Rebel without a Cause. The movie’s poster shows James Dean leaning against a doorway and smoking a cigarette. It embodies this attitude: “Oh yeah? Try and make me do what you want. I don’t think so.”
Fat Thinking And The Inner Rebel
Your Inner Critic wants you to live by the rules and doles out punishment when you don’t. In contrast, your Inner Rebel wants only to live outside the rules of dieting and weight loss systems and regimes. Your Inner Rebel is responsible for sabotaging your respect and trust in yourself and keeps you in the Weight Struggle Cycle by communicating through whining and seduction.
Resistant Whining
Your Inner Rebel wants things to stay the same and like a child throws a tantrum when change is enforced.
“Losing weight is too hard.”
“I don’t like sweating.”
“Food is fun why are you taking it away from me?”
Artful Seduction
Your Inner Rebel loves the feeling of letting loose and indulging, especially when feeling deprived. Like a sleazy car salesman, your Inner Rebel will say anything to close the deal.
“Everyone else is indulging, why can’t we?”
“You worked so hard today you can’t exercise. Sit down and have a treat instead.”
“Since the bag is opened, you might as well eat the rest, then we won’t buy any more.”
Thin thinking and The inner rebel
This rebelliousness is interesting, isn’t it? Like the Inner Critic, the Inner Rebel is not all bad. He or she is the interesting part of you that questions authority and has a red flag for any sort of idea or regime that seems oppressive to your soul. It’s time to work with your Inner Rebel and use that creative energy in a productive way that will help not hurt you. For long-term success, you need to learn how to negotiate with this part of yourself.
Are you ready to disarm your charming Inner Rebel? You are going to learn to:
Overcome Inner Rebel Overtures.
Use the Think it Through Strategy.
1-Overcome Inner Rebel Overtures
My client Tom’s Inner Rebel had him in a headlock when it came to his weight. I would like to walk you through how Tom learned to use his Inner Coach and shift the power struggle in his favor…
Case Study: Tom and the Disappearing Pizza
Tom thought that being able to finish an entire pizza was a sign of manhood. “My friends and I would consider you a wimp if you left a piece of pizza on the plate. If you ate it all, you won!” Tom said at our consultation meeting.
Tom grew up in southern California and had been in the construction industry for a good part of his life. He had been a customer of the diet industry even longer. Tom had tried every weight loss program, fast, and cleanse out there…twice. “My mom always dieted and took me to my first Weight Watchers meeting when I was eight,” he shared with me.
When I asked him what his biggest challenge to long-term success was, Tom replied, “I am not sure. I am very good at following a diet structure and releasing 30 of the 50 pounds I need to lose, but somewhere along the way, I get bored of the diet. Or I go out with the guys and eat pizza and drink beer. It’s the devil sitting on my shoulder, and he’s pretty hard to say no to when he wants something.”
“I like to call that devil your Inner Rebel,” I said.
“Whatever you call it, once I give in to it, a part of me snaps and doesn’t want to return to the strictness of a particular diet. It’s as if I’m on hiatus just as I am in between TV jobs until I regain the weight.”
Have you felt like Tom? When a Weight Struggler is a slave to an Inner Rebel, he is a hapless victim of a rebel who wants to sabotage all attempts at weight release.
Remember how you learned to separate from your Inner Critic? You need to hear your Rebel’s communications as desires and illusions and not as truth.
I invited Tom to participate in a CBT process similar to the one used to separate from an Inner Critic.
“Tell me one way your Inner Rebel tries to seduce you into sabotaging your weight-release efforts?” I asked Tom.
Tom laughed. “Just one? Okay. If I’ve started a diet and the weekend comes, I may go out with my family for dinner. If I see ribs on the menu, my Inner Rebel says, ’Hey, you worked hard this week, let’s have the ribs, a beer, and a side of fries. We’ll pull it together tomorrow.’ In reality, that means restarting my program on Monday after eating a ton of food over the weekend.”
I asked Tom to close his eyes and imagine that his Inner Rebel was a character outside him, a character in a movie or from his life.
Tom smiled. “I know exactly who my Inner Rebel is going to be. I just bought a new truck, and the guy that sold it to me was the ultimate salesman. I went in there wanting to buy a pre-owned model, and he talked me into buying a brand new model with a bunch of added details. This guy was smooth. He kept saying ‘You work so hard, you deserve it.’ I believed him, and I didn’t know what hit me until I was driving home.”
“Could you imagine this smooth talker saying ‘Go ahead. You work so hard. Eat whatever you want, you can start again on Monday.’” I asked.
“Sure, easily.”
“Now imagine that voice becoming silly and distorted like the voice of Homer Simpson or SpongeBob SquarePants.”
Tom laughed.
“Does it take the edge off the seduction a bit?”
“Sure, I feel like I can hear my Inner Rebel from a mile away. He’s not going to catch me daydreaming again,” Tom said.
Next Tom shrank his Inner Rebel, invited him to take a nap, and put him in a box so Tom could take a break from all of his seductions.
Overcoming the Inner Rebel Exercise
Now it’s time for you to show your Inner Rebel who is boss and let him know that you’re wise to rebel ways. As with the Inner Critic, you need to separate your Inner Rebel from you. Grab your pen and journal, and answer the following questions and follow along with the visualizations. Have fun!
If your Inner Rebel were a character in a movie, what character would he or she be? Or maybe choose a very seductive person from your life to play the rebel?
***
What does your Inner Rebel look like? (My Rebel is wild and unkempt with a cigarette hanging from her mouth.)
***
What is a seductive phrase that your Inner Rebel uses to sabotage you? (For me, one was “Oh, go on, you work so hard!”)
***
Close your eyes and imagine your Inner Rebel saying that phrase but in a silly voice like Homer or Marge Simpson or SpongeBob SquarePants. Now thank your Inner Rebel
for his opinion, shrink him, and tell him to take a nap. Put him in a little box in the back of your mind.
Well done, Apprentice. Can you see how you and your coach can work together to become capable of managing even the most seductive Inner Rebels?
1-The Think it Through Strategy
Your Inner Rebel is very good at seducing you away from your weight-release intentions. The good news is that even though the seduction dance you do with your Inner Rebel has a powerful pull, ultimately it is predictable.
A typical Inner Rebel seduction attempt might be:
Convincing you that you are too tired to exercise.
Coming home from work when you are hungry and overeating.
Overindulging at social outings, restaurants, and parties.
Seducing you to get treats from the kitchen while watching TV at night.
The way to shift out of the seduction is with a CBT technique that I call the Think it Through Strategy. It involves turning the tables and seducing your Inner Rebel into making the healthier choice for you. According to psychologist Philip David Zalazo, PhD, “Our thoughts and the language we use to express them can remind us of bad consequences and guide us to other actions and reinforce the value of success.”
What I am talking about is counter-seducing your Inner Rebel with an offer he or she can’t refuse. Remember most of what drives our brain forward is the idea of perceived reward. The Inner Rebel is a master at making his reward seem better to you than sticking with your healthier option. What if you started marketing your healthier option in a more enticing way?
How to Think it Through
This technique allows you to shift your mind out of fat thinking impulsive pleasure seeking to thin thinking healthy action taking.
Take a Shift Breath and harness your Inner Coach.
Think through how taking the Inner Rebel’s path will feel three hours from now after indulging. Really think about how that would feel in your body (full, bloated, lethargic) and your heart (regretful).
Next, think through what would happen if you made the healthier choice. How would you feel three hours later in your body (light, lean, energized) and heart (masterful, proud) at the end of the day?
Case Study Conclusion: Tom Romances His Inner Rebel
Let’s look at how Tom used the Think it Through Strategy with his Inner Rebel during his morning vision meditation to prepare for an upcoming social outing.
Tom thinks forward to the lunch meeting he is having with friends at their favorite Italian restaurant. As Tom thinks about the lunch, he immediately thinks about the restaurant’s fettuccini alfredo that he loves. Tom’s Inner Rebel rears his head, thinking about the creamy noodles.
Tom’s Inner Rebel says, “Wow, that fettuccini is so good, let’s get that today. Come on, we never go to that restaurant, and your friend Joe is paying. I do not want a salad. That is for sure. A salad would just be…sad.”
Tom takes a Shift Breath and begins to think through the Inner Rebel choice.
Tom says to himself, “Eating a plate of fettuccini would be amazing in the moment, but this afternoon I will feel bloated and gross with that fettuccini adding to the fat around my middle and pressing over the top of my pants. Do we really want to feel that way later?”
Tom’s Inner Rebel responds, “Yikes, since you put it like that, um, I don’t think so.”
Tom now paints a seductive picture of a healthier option as he romances his Inner Rebel.
He says, “I can order the lemon chicken and veggies, and instead of a big plate of fettuccini alfredo, I can order a small side of fettuccini. I can eat a few bites and experience the fantastic flavors, and then I will put the plate on the table in the middle for the others to share. That way I can have the pasta and not become bloated. I can feel good about myself and good when I am done eating, because I ate healthfully, too.”
Tom’s Inner Rebel goes for it. “Okay, great, that is a plan I can sink my teeth into!”
“I have found a way to live my life not on the extreme of deprivation of a stupid diet or on the wild and crazy food fests my Inner Rebel relished. I have learned to enjoy life more since I’m in charge of what I put in my mouth. Yes, that sometimes includes beer and pizza. But I don’t need to eat a whole pizza to feel like a man. I feel like a man because I am in touch with what I need to do to take good care of myself. That has been the biggest gift of all, and you can’t smother it in mozzarella!” Tom D. Released 56 pounds, maintaining for 6 years)
WEIGHT MASTERY SKILL 9 SUM UP: Managing your Inner Rebel
By learning to separate yourself from your Inner Rebel’s seductions, you can distance yourself from the unconscious pull that the rebel has over you and your weight.
Using the Think it Through Strategy, you can allow yourself to recognize the negative outcome of rebel-based choices (Overeating indulgent foods, not exercising) and instead market the outcome of the healthy choice to your Inner Rebel—allowing this inner saboteur to see the healthy choice as the more seductive one.
APPRENTICE PAUSE: Most of what keeps the struggle for weight release going isn’t eating something bad; it’s how you choose to communicate with yourself before the temptation presents itself or after you have acted on it. By building the three Mind Skills, you are creating a strong inner communication system that results in more consistency with your weight release and more confidence in your mastery.
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Now let’s put the final nail in the structure of your Weight Mastery Home with the NINE SKILLS HYPNOSIS SESSION.
CHAPTER 35
HYPNOSIS SESSION
Your Weight Mastery Hypnosis Session
At last, Apprentice, you have completed your Weight Mastery Home with the powerful Mind Skills. You are now ready for the Weight Mastery hypnosis session that will guide your mind through the Nine Skills you have just learned and engage them on a deeper level.
Instructions
Go to www.FromFatToThinThinking.com to access your hypnosis session.
Listen only while in a relaxed position, not while doing the dishes or walking the dog.
Listen to the Weight Mastery hypnosis session with an open mind expecting 100 percent success.
DO NOT LISTEN TO HYPNOSIS WHILE DRIVING OR OPERATING HEAVY OR COMPLEX MACHINERY.
Expect to feel relaxed. Don’t expect to feel hypnotized.
If you do go deep and feel like you are sleeping, try the session in a less relaxed position next time. You can get the impact of the hypnosis while in the sleep state.
When you finish listening, come back to the book to read the instructions for the final phase of your Shift Weight Mastery Process, your 30-Day Thin Thinking Practice.
PART III
THE PRACTICE
The Shift Weight Mastery Process
Practice is the best of all instructors.
—Publilius Syrus
CHAPTER 36
INTRODUCTION
The Power Of Practice
Congratulations, you are now ready to begin your 30-Day Thin Thinking Practice. I commend you again on coming this far on your journey from fat to thin thinking. To recap your progress in the Shift Weight Mastery Process:
Part 1: Orientation
You became educated in how your mind develops fat thinking and gets caught up in the frustrating Weight Struggle Cycle. You also learned how you can shift your mind from fat to thin thinking and begin living in the Weight Mastery Journey where you can achieve and maintain your ideal weight.
Part 2: The Shift
You began shifting your mind from fat to thin thinking by reading, doing the written exercises, and listening to the recorded hypnosis sessions.
You started your journey to weight mastery and did the following:
You forgave yourself and moved beyond
the self-distrust and resentment that kept you stuck in a negative relationship with yourself.
You made the decision to be a weight mastery apprentice and learn from all that happens on your weight journey. For you, there is no more failure or starting over.
You created powerful visions of the different milestones you will be achieving along the way to your ideal weight.
You shifted your belief to 100 percent success by swapping your Weight Struggle Story for your Weight Mastery Story.
You connected with your Inner Coach, the voice of weight mastery within you.
You began mastering the Nine Skills and learned the Nine Skills in these three categories:The Physical Skills of weight release.
The Environmental Skills that set you up for weight success.
The Mind Skills of communicating with yourself to stay focused on your goal and moving forward consistently toward your ideal weight.
You began to master the Nine Skills, learning from men and women who successfully released weight and kept it off.
Now you are ready to begin the last and final part of the Shift Weight Mastery Process—your 30-Day Thin Thinking Practice.
Getting Started
During your 30-Day Thin Thinking Practice, you will use daily meditations, hypnosis, and coaching to continue wiring your mind for thin thinking. It takes 21 days for new habits to get wired into the brain, so by the end of the 30 days you should have:
Daily and weekly practices that promote weight release at a rate you decide.
A Weight Mastery way of life that is “yours.” You are the owner and master. No one can take that mastery away from you.
A powerful way of communicating with yourself that keeps you motivated and inspired.
Eliminated the negative beliefs and habits that sabotaged you in the past and kept you struggling with food, exercise, and yourself.
I am now going to quickly walk you through the weekly and daily practices of the next 30 days to familiarize you with the 30-Day Practice Huddles. Here’s a reminder of how your huddles will work. A huddle is like a time-out where you and your Inner Coach take a moment, assess a situation, and make a plan. The five huddles we use over the 30-Day Thin Thinking Practice are: