by Ted Staunton
Morgan on Ice
Ted Staunton
Illustrated by Bill Slavin
Formac Publishing Company Limited
Halifax
1
Monster Princess
I fall. Aldeen Hummel falls. Charlie zips by. We get up. I fall. Tracey swoops past. Aldeen falls. Aldeen gets up. I get up. We both fall. Matt and Kaely and Mrs. Ross glide by. “Good for you, Aldeen! Keep trying, Morgan!” Mrs. Ross calls.
Our class is skating at the outdoor rink. We get to skate once a week. Everyone who can skate loves it. I hate it. I crawl to the boards and pull myself up. I look back. Aldeen is standing up. Her witchy hair has boinged out from her helmet. Curtis skates by and gives her a push, right at me. “Move!” she yells. I move. I know Aldeen can’t turn, and even in a snowsuit, she has knees and elbows like hockey sticks. That’s one reason she’s the Godzilla of Grade Three.
CLUNK, she hits the boards. “You should learn how to stop,” I say. Aldeen’s eyes squinch up. Her face is red and her glasses have gone crooked. She pushes at them with her mittens, then wipes where her nose is running at the same time. At least she can’t give noogies with mitts on. Aldeen has knuckles like hockey sticks too. “You should talk,” she says. “Anyway, I’ll learn at Princesses On Ice. You won’t. You’re not a princess. So be nice to me or you won’t go.”
Aldeen was the princess in our class play last term. She still acts like one sometimes. Princesses On Ice is a skating show. Aldeen’s Granny Flo won tickets to it from a radio station and asked my mom and me to go with them. Mom says I have to go.
I don’t want to go to Princesses On Ice. I don’t like princesses, I don’t like ice, and I’m not crazy about Aldeen either. I haven’t told anybody I’m going. Now I keep my mouth shut and inch along the boards. I hate this slidey feeling. I’m supposed to lean forward, like Dad showed me, but all of me is screaming lean back! I watch my feet and stretch my arms out. Charlie’s voice calls, “Grab my coat.” I latch on as he slides by. It will help me stand up. Charlie calls over his shoulder, “Hey Morg, want to come to Monster-Truck-A-Rama with me? My dad got tickets.”
“Cool,” I say. “Thanks! I’ll ask my mom and dad.” I feel good enough to look up a little. We’re picking up speed. I see Charlie holding Tracey holding Chantel holding Will holding Kaely holding Simon holding Matt, which means, oh no, it’s Crack the Whip!
We’re going even faster now, starting to turn. Uh-oh, I’m swinging wide. Double uh-oh, I can’t hold on to Charlie’s coat. Triple uh-oh, I can’t turn either. “GAAAH,” I sail off like a runaway Zamboni. Dead ahead, wobbling along, with her arms out and her nose in the air like a princess, is Aldeen. My own arms spin like windmills. BAM. Bring on the monster trucks.
2
Man Up
After school Aldeen comes over to my house. She does that sometimes when her mom and her granny are both working.
“How was skating?” Mom asks. She has hot chocolate for us. Hot chocolate is the only part of skating I like. “It was okay,” I say. I know I’m supposed to like skating. Dad plays hockey and Mom used to do figure skating.
“Not as good as Princesses On Ice will be,” Aldeen says. She and Mom start talking about it. I don’t want to talk about Princesses On Ice. I want to ask Mom if I can go to Monster-Truck-A-Rama. I’m not going to ask until Aldeen goes, though. She’d probably find a way to wreck everything.
After hot chocolate, Mom says we need to play outside. I don’t complain. I’m going to be Super Morgan until I find out if I can go to Monster Trucks. Aldeen and I go in the backyard. My dad has built a rink there. Aldeen clumps on in her boots and starts pretending to be a princess again. “You get to be my faithful servant,” she says.
“No way,” I say. Off comes her mitt. Up pops her noogie knuckle. “What do you want?” I ask.
“My royal hockey stick.”
I get one. Then I chase the puck every time Aldeen misses the net.
When Aldeen’s mom finally picks her up, first thing I do is say to Mom and Dad, “Charlie invited me to Monster-Truck-A-Rama. Can I go? Please?”
“Well, that’s nice,” Mom says. “I don’t see why not. When is it?”
“There’s an ad for it right here in the paper,” Dad says. He shows us. There’s a picture of an orange monster truck flying over a heap of cars. “Coooool,” I say. But Mom says, “Oh, no! It’s the same day as Princesses On Ice.”
“Hey,” I say, “That means I can’t go to Princesses On Ice!” This is great.
“Well, no hon. It means you can’t go to Truck-A-Rama. Aldeen invited you first and you said yes. You can’t change your mind. That would be rude.”
“But,” I say. “But this is trucks crushing stuff. That’s way cooler than —”
“Sorry, Morgan, but that’s the way it is.”
“Awwwwwwwwwwwww.”
“Morg,” Dad says. “Man up. Thank Charlie, but tell him you can’t go. Then he can invite someone else. Tell you what, after dinner why don’t we go out and skate a little?”
I knew Aldeen would find a way to wreck everything.
3
Snow Plan
Next morning I walk to school with Charlie. “I can go,” I tell him. I know this is not what I’m supposed to say, but I have a plan. Kind of.
Okay, I don’t exactly have a plan, but I’m making one so I can get out of going to Princesses on Ice and go to Monster-Truck-A-Rama. I have to tell Charlie I can go so he doesn’t invite someone else.
All I have to do now is figure out why I can’t go to Princesses and Mom still can. It’s tricky. Since Mom is going, I can’t hide and I can’t send a blow-up dummy instead of me. She’d be sure to notice. And if I pretend to be sick or get myself grounded on purpose, I can’t go to Truck-A-Rama either.
Charlie and I cross the street with the crossing guard. At the edge of the school yard, there is a big pile of snow. There’s a path around it, but it’s way more fun to climb right over it, like mountain climbers. We’re almost at the top when I hear a voice from the other side: “You better be nice to me or you’re in big trouble. Give it back. Or else.”
I know whose voice that is. I peek over the top of the snow bank. A grade four kid has Aldeen’s hat. It’s her favourite one too. She says it looks like a crown. I remember what Aldeen said to me about being nice, back at the rink, and all at once I know my plan. If I get Aldeen mad at me, she’ll tell me I can’t go to Princesses On Ice.
The grade four kid laughs. So do the kids with him. “Or else what?” he says.
Aldeen sweeps out one foot and hooks the kid’s ankle. He yells and falls back into the snow bank. Aldeen grabs her hat and shoves a mitt full of snow up his nose before he can do anything. “Or else that,” she says. She tugs her hat over her witchy hair and glares at the other kids. Her breath steams like dragon smoke. They stop laughing.
Aldeen walks away. On second thought, maybe getting Aldeen mad isn’t such a great idea after all.
4
Cold Potato
It takes me till recess to come up with a new plan. It’s a good one. As we’re all putting on our coats and boots, I hear some of the girls talking about figure skating. Aldeen should be friends with them, instead of having to come over to my place all the time.
Then I think, maybe she could be if she invited one of them instead of me. What if she knew one of them wanted to go to Princesses on Ice? I bet she’d drop me like a hot potato.
All recess long I ask girls about Princesses On Ice. “I think Aldeen has an extra ticket,” I say. Two are already going. Three have hockey that day. A bunch say they wouldn’t go a
nywhere with Aldeen. One says, “I’m not allowed to do stuff with her. Remember my birthday party when she bit our cat?” Oh yeah.
Finally, just as the bell rings, Karina says, “She does? Wow, I wish I could go.”
“Let’s ask her,” I say. We get into line with Aldeen. It’s easy to do: no one lines up too close to Godzilla. Aldeen looks at us. At least, I think she does. Her glasses are kind of foggy above her scarf. She licks where her nose is running again.
I say, “Karina really wants to go to Princesses On Ice.”
Karina says, “Morgan says you might have a ticket.”
Aldeen says, “No. I’ve only got tickets for me and Morgan.”
“You’re going with Morgan?” Karina’s eyes get big. “Ewwwwwww.” Then she runs off to the other girls. “Hey, guess what? Aldeen’s going ...”
Awwwwwww. By the time everybody has coats and boots off, all I can hear is, “Hey, Prince Charming!”
“No, he’s one of the seven dwarfs!”
“Are you gonna be the frog again, like in the play?”
“Smoochy-smoochy!”
The whole world knows I’m going to a princess skating show with Aldeen Hummel. That wasn’t part of the plan.
5
Lies for Lunch
It gets worse. Mrs. Ross gives us math worksheets. My partner is Charlie. He says, “You said you were coming to Truck-A-Rama with me.”
“I am,” I say. “They’re on different days.”
“No, they’re not. They’re both on Saturday.”
“I’ll take care of it,” I tell him.
I don’t get much math done. I’m thinking instead about the big lie I’m going to have to tell Aldeen. At lunch I sit beside her. It’s even easier to do than lining up with her. Kids giggle. I pretend not to hear. As soon as Aldeen starts talking about Princesses, I take a deep breath.
“I have to tell you something.”
“What?” She crunches a carrot like a T. Rex snapping a leg bone.
I say, “Know how I brought Karina over? And how I’m really bad at skating?”
Aldeen nods. “Not good like me.” Crunch.
“Yeah. That’s because I have, like, this disease where I’m secretly scared of skating? I can’t even watch it. Ask my mom. I always run out of the room when there’s figure skating on TV.”
“Right.” Crunch. “So how come your dad built a rink in your back yard?”
“’Cause he’s trying to help me. He keeps saying, ‘Man up, Morgan!’ But it doesn’t help, it’s horrible. And my mom wants me to go to Princesses On Ice, but I don’t know if I can. That’s why I thought Karina could go instead of me.”
Aldeen doesn’t say anything. I get an
idea to make it better. “I mean, what if we go and I go crazy and wreck the whole show?”
Aldeen’s eyes go squinchy. “You better not. If you do …” Crunch.
I gulp a little. “Hey, just saying.” I’m not sure if it’s working. I open my lunch and have another idea. “Know what? If you help me, I’ll give you my cupcake.”
“Is it chocolate?” She grabs the cupcake before I can answer. “And I get to pick one of your toys too.” Aldeen eats the cupcake. “I’ll call my gran and ask if I can bring someone else.”
Aldeen grabs her stuff and leaves. Yessssssss. I’m a genius. Mom can still go. I haven’t been rude. I told a lie, but it’s a little one, kind of; a nice lie to make everyone happy. I’ll tell Karina and Charlie as soon as I eat my sandwich.
I’m swallowing the last bite when Aldeen comes back. “I called from the office. My gran says I can’t invite someone else. It would hurt your feelings.”
“WHAT?” I yell. “What did you tell her?”
“What I said. I asked could I bring someone else.”
“BUT —”
“Man up,” says Aldeen, “and you owe me a toy.”
6
Men Up
After school Aldeen comes over again. She and Mom talk about how cool Princesses will be again. At least she doesn’t blab on me. Instead, she takes my Commander Crunch 4X4 Remote Control Zoom Buggy that will drive over almost anything. “Awwwwww,” I say. “Man up,” she says.
Dad gets home just after Aldeen goes. The phone rings while he’s making a yucky salad and Mom and I are setting the table. Dad answers.
“Hello? Oh, hi, how are you?” He jokes around for a little, then listens and says, “Really? I don’t — hang on, I’ll check.” He looks mixed up. Dad covers the phone and says, “It’s Bill, Charlie’s dad. He wants to know if Morgan is going to Truck-A-Rama with them on Saturday.”
Now Mom looks mixed up. “Well no, we’re going to Princesses On Ice with Aldeen and Flo. I thought they knew that.”
“Me too,” Dad nods. He says into the phone, “Doesn’t look like it, Bill. Morgan must have mixed the date up. Thanks, though.”
Dad hangs up. He and Mom look at me. I shrug and have to tell another little kind-of lie. It’s only kind of because it’s partly mostly true. “I dunno. I told him I really wanted to go.” Then I try to look kind of sad, like a kid who never gets anything special.
Maybe it works, because Mom says, “I know, hon. But we’ll have fun too.” Then she hands me the forks. I guess it didn’t work that well.
“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Dad says. Mom shoots him a look.
It’s time for dessert, my favourite part of dinner, when the phone rings again. Mom answers this time. When she hangs up, she sighs, “Bad news. Grandma’s away this weekend and Grandpa needs me to help get him to his doctor’s appointment. I can’t go to Princesses On Ice.”
Oh yessssssssss. This is better than dessert. If Mom can’t go … I jump up. “I better call Charlie,” I say.
“Whoah” says Mom, “Hold your horses, mister. Just because I can’t go doesn’t mean you can’t. Dad will go with you instead.”
“What?” Dad says, “But —”
“Man up,” Mom says.
7
Bulldozer Blades
It gets worse. When I get to school the next morning, I find out Charlie has asked Will to go to Monster-Truck-A-Rama instead. Now I’m sunk. The rest of the day, all I hear are Prince Charming jokes and Aldeen saying things like, “I wonder how Sleeping Beauty will skate?” When I say “Really slowly,” she noogies me.
After school, Charlie comes back to my place too. He brings his skates. Aldeen left hers at my place already. After snacks we go out back to Dad’s rink. Boy, do I ever wish spring would come.
Aldeen starts scraping across the ice. She has her crown hat on again. “I’m a princess,” she says. Charlie skates around her like a superstar. He can even go backwards. I start at one end but I can’t turn. I flop into the piled-up snow at the other. I make a pretty big dent. “I’m a monster truck on skates,” I tell Charlie.
“That’s because you don’t know how to turn,” he says. “Look, I’ll show you.”
He shows me how he crosses one foot over the other. “Try it,” he says.
I try it, but as I cross over, I hear “Look out, bozo!” I look up and Aldeen is coming right at me with her hands stuck out, like a bulldozer on blades. WHAM! We both go down.
“Monster truck crash,” Charlie cheers. “I hope they do that on Saturday.”
“Where?” says Aldeen, sitting up and pushing her glasses back.
“At Monster-Truck-A-Rama,” Charlie says. “On Saturday. I’m going with Will.” He looks at me. I’m flat on my back. I don’t feel like a monster truck anymore. I feel like a marshmallow.
I get up. Charlie shows us both how to cross our feet over when we turn. We try it. I’m shakey but I start to get it; I really start to get it. So does Aldeen; she gets it quicker than me, even. Pretty soon she’s zooming past me. It’s harder to turn one way tha
n the other though, and there’s still one little problem: neither of us knows how to stop. WHAM. We both hit the ice again.
“Can’t you learn how to stop?” I complain.
“I don’t have to,” Aldeen says. “I’m a monster truck.”
8
Super Sulk
By the time Aldeen and Charlie leave, I’ve had enough of skating, princesses, monster trucks, winter, everything. And I want my Commander Crunch Zoom Buggy too.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I want, because everything just gets worse. It’s Dad’s night to make dinner and he makes vegetable stir fry. I hate vegetable stir fry. I can’t even hide the vegetables under the noodles, because the noodles are the only part I eat. The only good thing is that Mom doesn’t bug me too much about not eating because she doesn’t like vegetable stir fry either.
I think that bugs Dad, so by the time we all flop on the couch to watch TV after dinner, we’re all grumpy. And then the very first thing that comes on is an ad for Princesses On Ice. It’s all princes and princesses swooning around on skates and gliding into each other’s arms. Dad and I look at each other. “Oh, yuck,” I whisper. “I’ll second that,” Dad murmurs.
Mom folds her arms. “Hey, you two. This is something that means a lot to Aldeen, and she wants to share it with you. Keep behaving that way and all you’ll do is spoil it for everyone.”
Dad sighs and sits up. “Okay. Mom’s right, Morg. It was nice of Aldeen to invite us. We can still have fun if we want to, right? We’re in this together. We can all get pizza after.”
“I guess,” I say. Pizza makes just about anything better. But it still feels as if I don’t have much choice. I think that if Aldeen really wanted to be nice, she could have invited someone else.
“And you know what?” Dad says, jumping up. “Instead of sitting here sulking, let’s all do something fun right now. Let’s all put our skates on and hit the rink. Mom can show us some figure skating moves and you can show us how you learned to turn, from Charlie.”