“A whole floor.” He smiled.
“What is it that you do? Alice never said.”
“Technical solutions and logistics. We focus on IT systems and new software.”
“Wow. I take it, by the business address and your taste in cars that you do well, do you like it?”
“Like it?” he didn’t know that he did. He was successful, in recent years he’d begun to see they weren’t the same thing.
“It’s allowed me to be comfortable, and enjoy life.” They slowed in the traffic. “I do other things that are worthwhile. I chair a charity, helping people in the city, improving quality of life for those on the fringes. Rehab programmes, housing, education, that kind of thing. That, I like. I’m a hospital trustee, I work with the Chamber of Commerce, I mean to say that I’m active in the community. I love my city, I want to take care of it.”
Rebecca closed in on herself. This man, who looked down on her, who pitied her, was nice to her because of his mother, and what was she? Nothing.
“That’s admirable.”
“What about you?”
“Nothing really to say.”
“Do you enjoy your job?”
“I wanted a nice job, one I would be good at, I’m good at administration. I liked my old job. I was assistant national co-ordinator, I had an eye for the next slot up, I was being trained for it. Having to start all over again, well, I’m only twenty-six. I’ll get there again.”
“So, what about your commute?”
“If I walk to the central train station, I miss the circular bus by four minutes, and for the life of me, I can’t seem to catch it. That goes straight to Nattleton. It takes fifty minutes, but it’s one bus. So, I walk into the city centre, through it to the main bus station, there I miss the circular again. I have to get the number eight to Anstal train station, and then I walk the rest of the way, or I might be in time for the community bus that piddles past at the end of the road.”
“Do you drive?”
“Never learned, never needed to. Besides, I couldn’t afford a car when I was seventeen, to busy saving to buy a house. I have a plan. I’m going to buy a bicycle.”
“You can’t bike it.”
“Of course I can. John from IT does it. There’s a bike lane through the ring road. Then I turn off and it’s straight to Nattleton. Easy. It’ll take about twenty minutes. Better than an hour and a half. Home to cook the dinner.”
“What time do you leave in the morning?”
“Ah, well, I can get the circular, but it only takes twenty minutes to get to the central train station as it only goes in one direction. That’s why it takes so long the one way and not the other. It’s stupid, but, not so bad in the morning.”
He thought as they edged forward.
“You know, as I come straight from work on Tuesdays and Fridays for dinner, I could pick you up.”
“There’s no need to trouble yourself.”
“It’s no trouble, you’re virtually next door as far as work goes, and we’re going in the same direction. It would make mum happy.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
They listened to the radio in silence as they moved out of the traffic and made their way home. Alice looked delighted as they arrived home together.
After a month at her new job, with her second-hand bike, lifts home, and regular pattern of life, Rebecca relaxed. It was as though she’d been waiting for everything to fall apart for days. To be found out.
Found out as what, she didn’t know, but she felt like a fraud, that she didn’t belong.
She was curled up in front of the fire on Saturday, reading Pride and Prejudice, they hadn’t got very far as yet, and Alice was knitting away, when the phone rang.
Alice looked over at Rebecca and put on her fake enthused voice, it made her smile.
“Who was that?”
“Arthur. He wants to come for dinner tonight.” Rebecca was quietly pleased, although he only pitied her, and he was far too good for her, she couldn’t help it, she liked him. It was hard not to. He was right to have been suspicious of her, to protect his mother, and he was a good person, a little cold, but underneath, he was very kind. She looked forward to seeing him. She loved sitting in the car with him, the sound of the radio was soothing. The smell of him filled the car, she liked his nice suits, and his voice, a deep soft velvety voice that she could listen to day and night.
She kept it secret. She kept her distance. Their journeys home were quiet. She didn’t eat with them, she’d cook, but then disappear. She’d watch the chat between mother and son as they sat in the kitchen with her while she prepared the food, not joining in. But the moments together were precious, and she made sure he didn’t know it.
“Any special occasion?”
“Well, it’s my birthday. I don’t like to make a fuss. He knows it, so he springs plans last minute on me.”
“Alice, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Don’t fret, I’d rather not remember it anyway at my age. I’ll be eighty dear.” She made a face.
“You don’t look a day over fifty-nine.” Rebecca grinned as Alice tutted but laughed.
“Should I fetch something special in?”
“Oh well, my dear,” she looked pitying, “he’s bring a lady friend.”
Rebecca was careful, her face neutral, her voice calm. “Well, well, good for him.” She smiled. “Oh don’t worry, I’ll eat upstairs.”
“You really don’t need to, besides, it’s my birthday, and I want you to eat with us, God knows Victoria is hard work.”
“Victoria?”
“Maddie’s friend, I told you about her. Art and Vicky were always on and off again. I thought they were off for good, but apparently not.”
“I get the feeling that you don’t like her.”
“She is a vain, selfish, mean, greedy social climber, just like Maddie.”
“Tell me what you really think.” Alice laughed.
“Two generations past, they were all working class, but you’d think by their behaviour that they had privilege for generations. My husband, Artie, was never like that, I mean he had aspirations, but not like them. Vicky was just the same, her family were worse if anything. Her mother never liked me. Victoria broke his heart years ago. They were engaged, she wanted more than he had at the time. He was just getting things going, there were many sacrifices he made, and she couldn’t, wouldn’t compromise. She married someone else, and divorced a year later, it was her boss at the time.
“Of course, he’s a success now. Well known, celebrated for it. So, here she is.”
Alice’s distain was palpable.
“Well, I’ll go into town. Pick a few things up.”
She rode her bike into town, and fretted in the supermarket aisles about what to cook. She even bought some nice wine, or so she hoped.
She prepared and cooked all afternoon, Alice at the table with the paper, peeling as needed. Alice baked a birthday cake, and banished Alice when she decorated it.
She got ready, and put on her new dress. It was a silky wrap around in an army green. She got it on sale, and though it wasn’t designer, it looked nice.
She had bought Alice a new set of knitting patterns, and needles, along with a magnifying glass, as hers had broken.
Arthur and Victoria arrived at six. She was perfection. There was a reason some people were entitled, and did well. She was it. Tall, slender, impossibly beautiful. She had long dark hair and large green eyes. She wore and black and white dress, expensive and elegant, and suddenly Rebecca was thirteen again, frumpy, poor, and clueless.
Victoria held onto Arthur’s arm, and didn’t shake Rebecca’s hand when she cautiously offered it. Victoria looked her up and down instead, and merely queried her brows.
Rebecca withdrew back into the kitchen. Arthur followed, with Victoria behind him.
She picked up the wine Rebecca had bought.
“Oh dear, what’s this?” she laughed, “it’s a good thing you bought some dec
ent stuff.” Arthur smiled at Victoria. He never smiled at her like that. She retreated further.
Arthur chatted with Victoria as he uncorked the wine they had bought. Without a word to her, they went into the dining room.
Rebecca served the starter, seared scallops with a spinach and mushroom sauce. It was as posh as she could manage, and afford.
“Are you eating with us?” Victoria frowned up at Rebecca. She hovered as she was about to sit. Arthur frowned too. Rebecca blinked.
“Oh, um, I’ll eat in the kitchen then.” She picked up her plate and went to leave.
“She’ll eat with me, because she’s my lodger and friend.” Alice’s voice had a hard edge.
“You shouldn’t get too close to the staff.”
“Alice, I don’t want to cause any discomfort, I don’t mind.”
“I do. You’re not staff.”
“It’s fine.” Rebecca left and sat in the kitchen while the others ate, she lost her appetite. She’d been looking forward to the meal, she never sat with them when they ate, and even if his girlfriend was there, she was excited about it. God, she was pathetic.
She kept an eye on the lamb instead.
She rejoined them in the living room when she brought in the cake after they finished. She wouldn’t look at Arthur, and there was tension in the room.
“Where did you buy that thing? You should get your money back.” Victoria laughed.
“I made it.”
Victoria made a little noise of derision, and when Alice looked at Rebecca, there were tears in her eyes.
Alice delighted over the cake. So did Arthur. Rebecca knew it was a good cake, but now she felt less than worthless, and that feeling annoyed her. She had vowed not to be this weak again, but here she was. Collapsing in on herself like the soufflé that she tried to make once.
Victoria had given Alice a plant, and Arthur a nice shawl, and a coat. Not that she went out much.
Victoria smirked at Rebecca’s gift, but Alice loved it.
Rebecca excused herself and went to clean the kitchen, taking the remnant of the cake. But she didn’t, she just leant against the sink trying to hold back. Victoria’s voice made her jump.
“I know what you want.”
“I doubt that very much.” Rebecca sounded tired.
“You won’t get him, he’d never go for someone like you. You might be able to pretend, but I can see through you.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Afraid? No, just a friendly warning.” Rebecca realised Victoria was afraid, and jealous of a woman, of her.
“There’s nothing friendly about you. I have no pretensions, I’m not like you, you can’t comprehend the first thing about me. But I know you. Spoiled, entitled, cruel. Alice is a good kind person, and I am her friend. I’m not the fucking staff. Get your head round that, and fuck off.”
Rebecca made herself calm, and Victoria only smirked.
“You’ll never get him.”
“You don’t seem to get it, I don’t care. I don’t want him, I don’t even like him.”
Arthur heard the exchange, he was more than annoyed at Vicky, she had no right to be that way with Rebecca, but when he heard Rebecca say that about him, he was surprisingly hurt.
Rebecca filled the dishwasher and ignored the woman behind her. They left not long after, and Alice came in.
“I’m sorry I spoiled your birthday.”
“You didn’t. Vicky did.”
“She thinks I’m a threat. Me. Don’t be offended, but Arthur and I only tolerate each other, he doesn’t like me, and I don’t like people that don’t like me.” Outright lie, she really liked and respected Arthur. “So, she has her designer knickers in a twist over nothing.”
“Arthur doesn’t dislike you.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes dramatically.
Four. Wrong way
For nearly three months, things went on as they were, Arthur picked her up twice a week, which became once when Victoria started joining them for dinner once a week, and then he didn’t pick her up at all. Whenever she saw Arthur, he was with Victoria.
Rebecca missed their quiet journeys, but since Alice’s birthday, he’d been a little colder with her. She supposed he was irritated with her.
The weather worsened, and got wet and cold, and Rebecca still rode her bike to and from work.
At Christmas, they all went to Arthur’s house. Except Rebecca. Alice at first refused to go, but Rebecca insisted, and Arthur tentatively asked her to join them, but she declined.
She’d always been alone at Christmas, in fact she hated the whole thing. It was for other people, who had families, and were happy.
Not for the likes of her.
She curled up in front of the fire with the massive tub of chocolates and watched TV.
Alice came home in the early evening, and when Arthur came in with her, she disappeared upstairs. There was a light knock on her door.
He stood there for a few seconds in silence, Rebecca leant on the door, with it barely open. She wouldn’t meet his eye.
“What is it?”
“How was your day?”
“What do you want?”
“Here.” He offered her a small present.
He’d been surprised at Rebecca, she had packed a little bag with gifts for Alice to take. A large silver framed picture of Alice and Arthur, from when he was a little boy. She’d had it restored, as it had been torn, and it was one of Alice’s favourites. She had bought Arthur a day driving at a racing track, he’d mentioned once that he’d always meant to go and try it. She’d even bought Victoria a gift, knowing full well that she’d show nothing but distain for it, it was a scarf, he didn’t know it was greatly reduced in an outlet shop, but the label was good.
She expected nothing in return, in fact she avoided him at all costs. She looked sad more than annoyed, though she tried to sound it.
She scowled at the gift, and cautiously took it, opening the door a little more.
She opened it and in the box was a long silver chain with a moonstone pendant. It was lovely.
“I can’t accept this.”
“Of course you can. Thank you for your gift. It was very thoughtful.” She only nodded. “Won’t you come down?”
“Um, no, I’m tired. Thank you though.” She still wouldn’t look up at him.
In the last few weeks, she had retreated further from them, and he was starting to worry. He felt a sad tenderness for her, their moments together were brief but made him happy. Except Vicky had come back into his life, she was at a strange point in her life, and ‘needed’ him.
She sat looking at the necklace for ages. She put it away, as a precious thing, though she thought that he had merely saw it and thought, ‘that’ll do’. She couldn’t go on like this, hiding away. This was not what she changed her life for.
Next time he came for dinner, she was doing something about it.
New Year was quiet, just her and Alice, but when things got back to normal, she told Alice she needed to go out, take up a hobby, Alice was pleased.
She took a taxi home on Friday night, the first week of January, she got home just as Arthur and Victoria turned up.
“Aren’t you cooking?” Victoria looked incredulous, and Rebecca laughed at her.
“I told you once, I’m not a servant, I’m not obliged to cook you dinner, I’m not obliged to do anything for you. I’m going out. Do your own dinner.”
Alice smirked and Rebecca went up to get ready.
She wore a short dress, one she’d bought never thinking to wear it. Hair up, high heels, lipstick, she went all out.
Arthur caught sight of her as they waited for the take away to arrive. “Where are you off to?”
“It’s a singles mixer.” She shrugged.
“You’re looking to date?” he sounded astonished.
She flushed, partly in humiliation and partly in anger. “I know that I’m nothing, but I am still a person, and even people like me should at le
ast try to find some happiness.” She left him quickly with a slice of cake in her hand, he didn’t even have time to set her straight, she was saying goodbye and out the door.
Rebecca sighed whenever she thought back on that night. She’d stood for two hours, not speaking to anyone, melting into the wall of the pub. A loser.
After that, she tried salsa dancing, bowling, and a myriad of other things, until she found a film club.
There was an old cinema that had been restored, served coffee, had couches and two screens. Once a week they held a film club, showed a film and everyone went to the pub after to chat about it. There were only about twenty of them, all the films were before 1980, and she loved it. She never spoke much, but quietly took it all in.
She was lonely, but had something of a small life, not what it had been, but still, it was better than being dead.
February was cold and shitty. The dark was slowly drawing out, offering an end to winter. She’d been busy at work, staying a little later, to pick up the slack, as three people were off with flu.
She bundled up and left work, just after most people had gone, it was dark, and she debated calling a taxi, and leaving her bike, it was far too windy to cycle. She glanced at the time on her phone and made her way to the train station, she’d catch the next circular if she hurried.
She ventured out into the drizzly gale, still tying her scarf, when someone grabbed her. She was spun round, but he didn’t have a good grip on her puffer jacket. She tried to move back, squinting in the dark at the man before her.
She backed away as she realised who it was.
He was a Crest, Danny, Donny, or something, a nephew or cousin. Her throat closed, she couldn’t make any noise. Her heart was in her stomach and she felt sick. She wasn’t brave, she never fought, she could barely run, so she froze. The only thing she had ever done was avoid things, but she couldn’t avoid this.
He grabbed her again, pulled her to him as he punched her in the stomach. She rasped out as he beat and kicked her when she fell to the floor.
She went still, curled up in a ball. They were right by a car, and he hauled her up and onto it. He pushed her coat up, ripped her tights off, and pushed up her skirt in one move. She still couldn’t move. Utterly paralysed in terror. Her mind switched off. She didn’t feel the pain, she couldn’t taste the blood in her mouth, and she barely comprehended what was about to happen.
Getting a Life (New City Series Book 1) Page 4