“You’d give her the money though.”
He shook his head. “Fine.”
She dished up. They both made an effort for Alice, and ate companionably. He’d back off, he had to, if he pushed her she would shrink away. He didn’t want to leave everything closed off and final.
He insisted on helping Rebecca clean up.
“Look, let me say this.” She stopped filling the dishwasher. “Don’t say never. Let’s say, not now. If you change your mind…” He looked through the doorway and stepped close to her. “I get the feeling a lot of whatever it was that you went through affects how you see men. That, well, intimacy is a difficult thing for you.” She blushed and he carried on. “So I won’t push you, but nor can I just say, well that’s it then. You can come to me, you can talk to me, I want to be here for you, and if you change your mind about what this could be, well I'm not going anywhere.”
He kissed her forehead, and she nodded. She felt easier, and they finished cleaning up. He stayed and listened to her read until Alice fell asleep. His eye lingered on Rebecca as she assisted Alice upstairs before he shut the door.
Arthur was having a pretty bad week. June was turning out to be the muggiest month ever, and he was sweating intensely in a small office with no air conditioning looking out on the view of a dual carriageway.
The man on the other side of the desk to him was almost shouting. Arthur pinched his eyes, and left a red mark on the bridge of his nose.
He thought about Rebecca, on the sun lounger in that red swimming costume. He stuffed down the thought.
He’d miss dinner at this rate.
He had acquired the small business, under the misguided notion he could make it a more viable enterprise. This was not turning out to be the case, and the officious little man, who thought himself emperor of his shitty little kingdom, was having none of it.
Arthur’s right hand man in business leant forward and spoke words of sense that they both knew would go unheard.
It was seven when he left. He rang his mum, and apologised, and promised to be there Tuesday. It came to something that his Friday nights were so pathetic. He went straight to the gym, as it was on the way.
He pushed himself hard, more than he had for a while. It was all very well and good going infinitely slowly with Rebecca, but it was taking a toll on him. The vision of her in that suit haunted him, and the feeling of dancing with her made him smile and then some.
He even downloaded the music they danced to onto his phone. He kicked up the pace a bit more.
He wiped his face as he walked out his slow down, steadying his breath. Someone caught his eye. Victoria. He groaned.
“Arthur! I haven’t seen you for ages.”
“I didn’t know you still came here.” He’d gotten sick of her clinginess, and the constant comments about Rebecca, and her glee when she had vanished after her attack. He couldn’t understand why she was so jealous of her at first. She must have seen the attraction before he really had.
“Well, you know. Gotta keep in shape.” She stood on one hip with a grin. She was fishing, and he wasn’t going to bite.
“I need to head off.”
“Wait, Art, come on.”
“What do you want?”
“We’ve always been it you and me. We’ve gone to and fro for years, but I’ve grown up.”
“You mean that now I’ve got some money, and all the crap that goes with it. We’ve known each other forever, I remember putting slugs in your wellies when I was about six, and I’ll be friends with you, but there’s nothing else between us, not on my end. When you came back here and said you were happy to be friends, I believed you, I know better now. You left me when I needed you, when I wasn’t what you hoped I’d be, and you’ve been kicking yourself ever since.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Maybe, I wasn’t easy to live with then, I know, I was a dick sometimes. I don’t feel that way about you, not for a long time.”
Victoria hardened her face. “Is it the girl?”
“What does it matter?”
“You think she’s any different than I am?”
“She is, but we’re not together. She’s too honourable to shag her boss. Not like some people eh?”
“Wow.”
“Sorry, that was beneath me.”
“It was. I’m not a bad person, I’ve never stopped caring about you, and I do think I'm the kind of woman you need.”
“Not the one I want though, and I’m not doing things like that, I will not do what I’m supposed to do to make other people happy. And no, you’re not a bad person, just not the one for me. Accept it, and move on.”
“Do you think Arthur will come tonight?” It had been more than two weeks.
“I don’t know dear. It does break the week up when he visits, doesn’t it?”
“We should go out, I can push you in the wheelchair Arthur bought.”
“I’m not getting in that thing.”
“It’s not that bad, besides, we can get out. Put your sunhat on and we’ll go shopping.”
“How will we get there?”
“Taxi. Come on, you used to be adventurous once didn’t you?”
“Once, a very long time ago.” Alice watched Rebecca peel the potatoes. “I think we have enough dear.”
Rebecca smiled at the panful. “I know we could do a bit of shopping, have lunch somewhere, a couple of wines, and nap upon return.”
“It does sound nice.”
“If you like, I’ll buy you a crash helmet for when I push you.” Rebecca grinned.
“Fine. Tomorrow, we’ll go tomorrow.”
“Excellent. I’m starting to go stir crazy.” She pulled a face.
The door went and Rebecca flushed, she started chopping like a ninja.
“You’re early.”
Arthur looked tired. “I missed my favourite ladies.”
“Flatterer.” He kissed his mother’s cheek.
Alice narrowed her eyes at Rebecca and smiled. “Rebecca here has just convinced me to sit in that Godawful chair and go out tomorrow.”
“Anywhere nice?”
“Shopping and lunch, wine has been mentioned.”
“Lovely. Want a lift?”
Rebecca finally turned. “Oh, no, I thought we’d get a taxi.”
“Well, I’m available.” He moved over to Rebecca and looked over the food, leant on the work surface, and watched Rebecca chop. “What we having?”
“Um, steak. Rosemary potatoes, asparagus.”
“Sounds lovely, I’m starved. Is there enough?”
“Of course.” She glanced up.
“So, dearest son, where have you been?” he turned from Rebecca’s face.
“I’m sorry mum, things have been hectic, I bought a company. It was a mistake.”
“That bad?”
“No, just inconvenient. I’ve been dealing with solicitors, and managers, and a company in chaos.” He made a noise and rubbed his face.
“Have you sorted it out?”
“More or less. I need a holiday. Taking you shopping sounds like fun.”
“Surely not.”
“I need some things, I never make time for it, if I take you two to lunch then I can do some errands.”
“Art, you do not need to run about for me.”
“I know that, I want to. I’m having the rest of the week off. Bosses prerogative. Wine?”
He fetched a bottle of red from the pantry and opened it.
Dinner was nice. Rebecca was glad she did too many potatoes, as Arthur ate everything. They finished the bottle of wine as they sat in the lounge, and Arthur listened with his eyes closed to Rebecca’s soft voice as she continued to read. He felt lulled and relaxed, the relief of needless stress melted away, happy to hear the exploits of the Bennet sisters as he drifted off.
She closed the book and smiled. Alice struggled up and Rebecca helped her upstairs. She went back down to find Arthur stretched out on the settee fast asleep.
She perched on the edge of the seat and watched him. She couldn’t help but lean forward and smooth his hair. She wanted to lie down with him, to cuddle into him.
He hummed as she swept her hand across his hair. His arm absently reached out for her, and he pulled her down to him. He still looked asleep.
She went rigid, but steadied her breath. This was what she wanted, she needed to move beyond her fear. She still brushed his hair with her fingers and he pressed into her.
He felt so good, his lips met the arm that reached up to his hair, and he kissed down it, over her shoulder and to her neck, his eyes were still closed.
She held her breath when he began to rub gently against her, she could feel his hardness. She let the sensation of it wash over her. It felt good. His lips moved up to hers and she kissed him back. He shifted them so she was underneath him, all the time he kept up the slow rhythm. The top of his erection pressed against her clit and she moaned at the spark of pleasure.
She felt pleasure, she knew she could do that, what she could not do was have sex. She enjoyed her hand as much as possible, perhaps if she hadn’t, there wouldn’t be any hope.
She knew what she was doing was wrong, for many reasons, but mostly because he was asleep. She needed to stop, or wake him.
The latter would be mortifying, but necessary, as she couldn’t get out from under him.
“Arthur.” She nudged him and pushed at him. He blinked awake and stilled.
“What the…”
He leant up on his arms removing the pressure on her. She had been close. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? I’m dry humping you in my sleep. Shit, I’m so sorry. How?” he moved to scramble away.
“Wait.” Her eyes fell back to his mouth.
“Do you want this?”
“Yes. No.”
“If you’re unsure, then it’s a no.”
“It feels good.”
He closed his eyes as his arms began to shake. His hard on was painful. He paused for a moment, then sat up. He rubbed his face. Her eyes fell to his crotch.
“Rebecca.” She blushed and looked away. “Talk to me.”
“I’m curious, and I do…feel things. Part of me needs this, but I know it’s a bad idea.”
“Look. I think you’re right. I want to be easy around you, and you around me. As much as I want to see how far you want to go right now, I know it’s the wrong thing for you. I wish you’d tell me what happened to you, and if I’m honest, I think you would benefit from seeing someone professionally. I understand why you don’t want to get involved with me, even if we both feel the attraction.
“What I don’t want is for you to say yes to this, only to change your mind, because you weren’t absolutely sure in the first place. I don’t want to end up doing something that will end up making it worse. You are strong, but also really fragile, and I get the feeling that this is an important time for you, to find your way, to move on.”
“You’re right. Thank you. I’m starting to think I have the emotional maturity of a baked bean.”
He laughed, leant forward, and kissed her hair. “I’m here for you. I’ll be your friend for now.”
It was hot the next morning, and the ladies were ready bright and early. Arthur had slept in his old room, as he’d had three glasses of wine.
He left before anyone was up, went for a run, and took a cold shower. He’d thought of her all night, and was astonished that he managed not to make love to her. She was too vulnerable, too fragile. He’d have to be the sensible one for the both of them, though how long he’d manage that, he wasn’t sure.
He wore casual trousers and a casual shirt. Rebecca wanted to jump into his arms, but he looked far too sophisticated, but as though he was on holiday. She wore a short sundress and her wedges. She’d fretted over the dress. She wanted to be cute and cool, but not trying too hard. She wasn’t sure that she’d accomplished that.
Arthur looked at her legs as he put the wheelchair in the boot.
He put the blue badge of his mother’s on display, and helped them set up the chair when he found a parking space. “Right then, I’ll call when I'm done and join you.” He smiled as he watched them go, Rebecca getting used to pushing the chair and his mum being sat in it.
He mooched through the shops, bought some shirts and the like, he was passing the beauty counter of a department store, and saw his mother’s favourite perfume. He wondered when the last time she had any of it was. He bought her some, and considered Rebecca. Was perfume too intimate? He thought about it until the overly made up woman at the counter offered her assistance. She flirted prettily. He never minded that in the past, but now it seemed disingenuous. He thought of Rebecca, she never flirted. Maybe they could. Flirting was about confidence.
She could use some of that. He smiled to himself. He picked out a scent for her, a fresh light one, it made him think of her when he smelt it.
He met them at a restaurant for lunch. He put his bags with theirs, but put gave his mother her perfume.
Her face crinkled in joy. “Oh, I haven’t worn this for years. It always makes me think of Artie, he used to buy me it every year for our anniversary. We went to Paris for our second or third and he bought it then. I always wore it ever since. He was so romantic.”
Arthur smiled.
“And, not to be left out.” He passed Rebecca a small bag.
“You shouldn’t have.”
“Yes, I should.”
She opened it and was surprised. She had never had expensive perfume, actually, she never had perfume. Occasionally a body spray, but normally just deodorant. “Thank you. It’s perfect.” She had no idea what it would smell like, but she didn’t care. It would be her perfume of choice now.
They ate lunch and argued when Rebecca tried to pay for hers. Arthur got his way. Rebecca thought he always did.
Seven. Retracing steps
Arthur went home at seven. They’d had sandwiches for dinner after their large rich lunch. Alice had a long nap when they got back. Arthur and Rebecca spent the afternoon in the garden while Alice slept. They didn’t speak much, but he noticed she’d put on the perfume he’d bought.
It smelt different on, but good. He was overwhelmed with the urge to kiss her. He kept thinking of the previous night, her underneath him with her flushed face.
“What’s wrong?” her large eyes looked worried.
“Sorry, I was miles away. I’ve been thinking about you, a lot actually. I think you could do with some confidence, correct?”
“I’d say that would be correct.”
“Then, you should learn to flirt.”
“Flirt?”
“Don’t look so horrified. I like to flirt.”
“How do you do it?”
He gave her a little smile. “Do it?” he raised his brows and she laughed. “You tease, joke, infer things, smile, make eye contact. Um…be a little coy, not too much, open body language.”
“You want to flirt with me.”
“I want you full stop. But we’ve had this conversation.” He frowned. “Did I frighten you last night?”
“No. Actually you didn’t. It felt really good.”
He shifted in the lounger and turned to her. “How good?”
She blushed. “Very.” He swallowed and cleared his throat.
“I dreamt I was making love to you.”
“Was I good?” she bit her lip as she looked at him.
“Holy shit. I think you’re better at flirting than you think, but we’re crossing a line.”
“Was I good?” she held his gaze.
“Yes.”
She might as well be honest with him. “I worry I’d disappoint you. You know I’m a virgin right?”
Arthur sat up. “What?”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said about you knowing what happened to me. I wasn’t, you know, raped. Bad things happened to me, over years, when I was a little girl, right up until I left home at fifteen. My m
um, her boyfriend, his son. All of them did horrible things. When you’re a child and the abuse you endure is for more than a decade and then haunts you after, it changes you. I have been affected. I’ve had to fight them off, avoid having sex. I don’t know how to change that. I’ve never been able to, you know. That’s the truth, as pathetic as that is.”
“It’s not pathetic.” She saw a mixture of relief and sadness.
“I like the idea of flirting. Would be dangerous for us to do that?”
“I think just being in each other’s company is dangerous.”
Rebecca cleaned. She woke early, after dreaming of Arthur. It was getting out of control. She washed the windows, the woodwork, and all the sheets. It was stifling that day, she wore a bikini top and her short sporty shorts, her hair was piled up on her head.
She was grimy and sweaty, and unhappy when he arrived. She groaned quietly as she ate her sandwich standing in the kitchen looking out the window.
“Hi.” It was breathy when he spoke. He had lovely eyes, and they sparkled as the sun hit them. Christ, she needed to get a grip on herself. She suppressed a sigh. She just pointed to her mouth as she chewed, and went back in the garden. She emptied the bucket of soapy water, and tidied up.
“Are you all right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Rebecca.” He said her name in such a way that she shivered despite the heat. She picked up the hose, and turned it on to water the pots, the flowers in which were wilting. “It’s too warm today to be out here working.”
“Needs doing.”
“What’s wrong?”
She finally turned to him. He wore shorts and a t-shirt. His eyes were on her chest. He swallowed and tore his eyes away.
She cocked her head. “Subtle.” He laughed.
“Sorry. You look…” His eye fell back downward.
“Look what?” her face was all feigned innocence.
He bunched his lips. “You’re actually pretty good at flirting.”
“Flirting?” she looked adorably innocent, but there was a hint of wickedness in her eyes. “I think you need to cool off Mr Hulston.”
He frowned and looked down to the hose trigger in her hand.
Getting a Life (New City Series Book 1) Page 8