"So, you took pity on me? I looked sad to you? Well, I have to hand it to you, you were correct. I was sad. I've been out of work for nearly two months and can't seem to catch a break. That day, in the rain, I'd just been told that I wasn't good enough for a job at a fucking insurance agency. I'd locked my keys in my car and had to walk home, eight blocks, in my most uncomfortable high heels. Then, on top of everything else that had gone shitty that day, I stopped for a bottle of my favorite wine and it ended up crashing to the pavement. Now, I sit here and listen as you tell me that you witnessed my struggle and couldn't even bring yourself to help me. Well, thanks for the offer Mr. Montgomery, but there's no way in hell I can bring myself to work for someone like you." I threw my shoulders back and stood to leave. Screw the money. I had my pride.
"I'll pay you five thousand a month if you agree to stay." His voice sounds desperate, and I stop dead in my tracks, flattening my back to the wall. That amount of money was a lot to turn down when you've been out of work and living off a meager savings. "Please Rhyann, if I don't turn things around I'm going to screw this up for the band. I know this is a lot to ask of you, and I'm pretty sure you're pissed at me for not calling you, but I don't know where else to turn." He came towards me and placed his arms on either side of my shoulders. My breathing hitched in my throat, and my legs began to feel weak at the close proximity of his hard body to mine. Surely, he must know what being this close does to me, but he doesn't relent, he just keeps pleading his case. "Give me a chance. Three months to prove that I can be a decent guy and we can work together." Then, he says the magic words every girl longs to hear, the same words I've heard him whisper over and over in my dreams. "I need you."
Once again, I held my breath, listening to the internal battle between my heart and my head. I knew what staying would do to me. I knew how my body responded to being in his presence. I also knew what it felt like to be without him, and here he was offering me the chance to get close to him once more. I looked into his eyes one more time and knew the decision had already been made two years ago. No matter how much I questioned my sanity, I would stay.
"First, let me just say that I'm not pissed at you. When I left that note it was only to thank you. I guess I did secretly hope that you would have looked me up, maybe chase me down and sweep me off my feet, but I knew the score when I agreed to go home with you that night. You told me that you'd make me forget my own name, but you never warned me that I wouldn't be able to forget you." I whispered. He shifted closer and closed his eyes as he listened to me pour out my heart. "I want to help you, but I'm not sure I can move in here and not have feelings for you."
"Rhyann, you're a beautiful, smart, sexy woman, and I know that I am a fucking idiot for saying this, but it could never work between us. I'm no good for you. I don't know how to treat a woman the way you need to be treated. I know it's selfish of me to want you to be here and not offer that to you, but you have to trust me when I say that I would only hurt you."
My heart hammered in my chest as I studied the way he interacted with me. He seemed different, almost remorseful, and my gaze shifted to his as I interpreted what his eyes were conveying. Before, when we'd met, his eyes had told me how much he wanted me, today the sexual innuendo was gone, but they practically begged me to give him another chance. I put on the bravest face I could summon and presented my conditions.
"I know I'm a fool for even considering this, but I’ll agree to work for you provided that we keep it strictly professional. I know we can never undo what happened between us, but I’m willing to put that aside if you are. I agree, you’re not the man for me, and I’m okay with that. I’ll give you three months. After that, if it’s not working out, I'll walk away and forget all about you."
He brought a hand to my face and stroked a finger over my cheek, and God help me but I couldn’t help leaning into his touch. I knew I was playing with fire by being here, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, but where the moth is smart enough to not get too close, I was throwing myself smack dab in the middle of the fire. I wasn't afraid of getting burned, he’d already branded me and probably didn’t even know it. I was more afraid of finding out that the fire I'd felt for him, and held onto for two years, was now nothing more than a flicker that never should have ignited in the first place.
CHAPTER FIVE
"Great, it’s settled then. You can move in tonight. I’ll send some guys over to help with your things if you’d like. Until then, I’m hungry. Do you have plans for dinner, Rhyann?” He clapped his hands together and looked over at me, waiting for an answer. It took me a moment to collect myself. I couldn’t believe I had just agreed to this. Who was I kidding? I could barely stand this close to him for a few minutes. How on earth was I going to live with him twenty-four hours a day and not fall apart? I knew I should turn around and get the hell out of here while I still had my dignity intact, but God help me I loved the way my name sounded as it rolled off his tongue.
“Not really, no.” Was this really happening? Did I just agree to eat a meal with him in public? My legs wobbled slightly, and I prayed that he wouldn’t hear my knees knocking together.
“Let me take you to this amazing Chinese restaurant I know, they have the best sticky garlic chicken, and their dumplings are so good they practically explode in your mouth,” he said, innocently licking his lips and smiling. Did he have any idea how incredibly erotic the words sticky and explode sounded coming from his mouth? Did he even know the images those words brought to mind? Probably not.
As we left the house and made our way to his car, I felt the tips of his fingers brush over the small of my back as he guided me along. I kept my gaze forward as he started the car and we sat in awkward silence until I finally spoke up.
“I’m unclear what this position actually entails. Nate wasn’t specific when he described the duties, he said it would vary based on your needs. He indicated you were looking for someone to help you get organized and manage your social calendar.” I cleared my throat slightly and glanced over at him, determined not to let his good looks intimidate me. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy. He looked at me for a brief moment and began to laugh a hearty belly laugh that caught me off guard. What had I said that was so funny? When he was finally able to regain his composure he made eye contact and grinned widely. Holy shit! He had not one, but two, panty melting dimples, on either side of his perfectly formed mouth. I found it difficult to tear my eyes away from his full lips. Maybe now would be a good time to try that passing out idea I had earlier.
Just keep reminding yourself that he doesn’t want you.
“So basically he told you that I need someone to help me manage my overactive sex life. I’m sorry about that Rhyann,” he chuckled, continuing to be amused by my statement. I wasn’t entirely amused, but I was still swooning over those dimples, and I loved the way he kept saying my name. “I can assure you that I am in need of someone to help me manage far more than my busy sex life, and, for the record, I would never ask you to do something like that. I respect you too much.” He gave me an intense look before turning back to face the road. “I’m looking for someone to help me get my shit together. I’ll be completely honest and tell you that my actions of late have been a little out of control. Nate told me that if I didn’t pull my shit together and stop giving the press something to write about, they wouldn’t renew our contract. I can’t let the guys down like that. I need someone to help me get my priorities straight. I need an assistant to coordinate meetings and interviews, but also to help me stay focused. We’re at a down time right now, but we’re keeping busy putting together a new album and will be spending a lot of time in the studio. We’re working on plans to tour later this year, and I'll need someone to join me on the road.”
By this time we’d arrived at the restaurant and had just gotten settled at our table. Jesse placed an order right away then leaned his elbows on the table. I took a sip of water and met his gaze over the
rim of my glass. He held my gaze, then closed his eyes and sighed. In that moment I realized I wasn’t the only one affected by spending this much time together. I cleared my throat and rested my chin on the palm of my hand.
“I’m curious why you chose to stay in Seattle? I thought famous people preferred the hustle and bustle of New York or L.A.”
He sat back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head. I watched as his tongue played against the inside of his cheek and couldn’t help but feel envious of his cheek. I silently willed myself to snap out of it. “That’s a good question. We lived in L.A. for a year, but once the tour ended I needed a break from the whole scene. I know that the media portrays me as a rockstar who loves nothing more than a wild party and a different woman every night, but in reality I prefer quiet nights at home.” He watched me with great interest before continuing. “When we need to go back to L.A. the studio rents a house for us and we are usually there for three months. I like it here. Seattle is my home.”
I was sure my face must have been giving away all of my secrets because listening to him talk about enjoying quiet nights at home warmed me from head to toe. “I totally get that. I love quiet nights at home too. My ideal evening consists of a cozy fire, a good book, and a soft blanket.” My mind drifted as I imagined myself in his living room, watching the flames as they danced in the fireplace. I lifted my eyes and found him staring at me, as if waiting for me to finish my thought. “Sorry, I let my mind wander for a moment.”
“No need to apologize. I enjoy learning more about you and what makes you tick. I like your passion. I love reading as well, and as you saw earlier, there are a lot of cozy reading spaces in my house.”
Our food arrived, interrupting our conversation, and for once I was glad to have a distraction where Jesse was concerned. We made small talk as we sampled the dishes he had ordered.
“So, you left your job?" He began, and I nearly choked on a piece of rice. I reached for my glass of water, gasping for air. “You okay?” He leaned over and patted his hand on my back.
“Yes, sorry. I’m fine." I dabbed my napkin to my mouth and sat back in my chair. "I left because I had no other choice, it wasn't working out.”
“Oh, I thought you liked your job, though I remember you weren’t too crazy about your boss, or something like that.” I snapped my head to look at him and he quickly averted his eyes. I couldn’t believe he’d remembered that little tidbit. “So, why did you leave?” He resumed eating and stared intently at his plate of food.
“Because he tried to feel me up and I crushed his junk.” I looked him square in the eye, daring him to question me further. He just sat back, curled his lip to the left, and laughed.
“You’ve got spunk. I admire that in a woman. You and I are going to get along perfectly.” He gave a quick wink and bit into an eggroll. Why did he have to look so good all the time?
“Well, I’d do the same to you if you were an old pervert that liked to pinch my nipples.” I snapped. He cocked his brow and smiled, and I realized the irony of our situation. I had been so distracted thinking about Steve that I'd nearly forgotten that he had treated my breasts to the same torture; only in his case I’d actually enjoyed it. I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a loud groan. I was quite sure my cheeks were bright pink, and I covered my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment.
“Aw, don’t hide. You’re even cuter when you’re blushing!” He leaned forward and pulled a hand away from my scarlet face. “It’s okay, Rhyann. So we’ve slept together. It happens. We’re both adults, and I think you’d agree with me when I say we both got what we needed that night. I enjoyed our time together, but we both knew it was just a one-time thing. No strings attached, you know.” He gave his shoulder a shrug and sat up straight.
“Yeah.” I responded, stiffly. “From what I hear that is your preferred method. I only hope the rest of the women you take to bed are as strong as I am. I was lonely that night and you offered me an escape. It was good while it lasted, but I’m over it. I’m glad to hear you are as well.” I pushed my chair away from the table and stood up. “If I’m going to move in tonight I should probably get home and pack.”
"Yeah, sure." He gave me a look of concern and placed a wad of cash on the table for the waitress. He followed me to the door but grabbed hold of my arm before I could head outside. "Hey, hold up. You don't have to do this you know. I mean, if it's going to be too much, I'll understand. I know I can be a selfish ass at times, but I promise I won't cross any lines. I'll respect your privacy, if that's what you want."
I stared at him, knowing in my heart that he was trying to make this easier on me, while still getting what he wanted. I also knew that I had already committed to this, and I would see it through. Three months, I could handle that, no problem.
"No, that's not what I want. Like you said, we're both adults. This will be a walk in the park."
Mel was not as easily convinced…
“What the hell do you mean you have to move in with him? You don’t even know him.” She demanded, throwing her hands in the air.
“Mel, I do know him, very intimately if you recall." I rolled my eyes, laughing. "Besides, it's only for three months. If I can't hack it I'll walk away."
"You think it will be that easy? Girl, you’ve been crushing on him for two years and now you're moving in with him without any hope of sex? How does that even make sense?"
"I don't know how to explain it except to say that he's paying me five thousand a month." Her mouth instantly fell open and her eyes practically bugged out of her head. I knew that would get her attention. That much money was hard for either of us to wrap our head around. Mel made good money, but nothing compared to that figure. "Plus, he told me that he needed me." I mumbled.
"Well, I was going to accuse you of being a gold digger but now I know the real reason you said yes." She shook her head and laughed at me. "Every woman wants to be needed but I'm not sure who's getting the better deal here. You're great at what you do, but I have a feeling you're going to get more out of it just by being in his presence."
"Yeah, well, he made it perfectly clear today that he doesn't feel that way about me. He even went so far as to say that he isn't good enough for me and that he would only hurt me. I'm not going to lie, that hurt a little bit, but at least I know going in that we will never be more than friends." I let out a sigh and continued packing. I wasn't taking everything with me tonight, only what I would need for the next week. I would have to come back and grab a few more items after I had gotten settled in. Mel and I had agreed that I would continue paying rent because I would more than likely be returning in three months anyway.
"Are you okay with that arrangement? I know how you feel about him, at least I know how you think you feel. Maybe this time together will be a good thing for you. Maybe it will show you that he isn't the one for you after all." Her eyes were full of compassion as she made that statement. Even though her words made sense, she knew this was not going to be easy on me.
"I'll get through it. You know me, I'm a master at putting on a brave face and pretending like everything is okay. I've been doing it most of my life." I gave her shoulder a nudge and grabbed my hairdryer and toothbrush.
“How am I going survive in this apartment without you here. Who in the hell am I going to complain about work with?” she curved her lips down and gave me her best pouty face. “I'm going to be so lonely.”
“Ha! Lonely is not in your vocabulary. You’ve had more men in one year than I've had in my whole life,” I joked as I headed for the bedroom, knowing she wouldn't be far behind.
“Yeah, well at least I put myself out there and try to find the right guy. You, my gorgeous friend, need to get laid again. Give it a try, Rhyann, sex feels really good. You remember sex don’t you?” She snorted, following me around the room trying to cheer me up.
“La la la la,” I laughed, plugging my ears. “I’m not talking about this."
“Okay, but it’s your loss,
” she said, opening one of the suitcases I placed on the bed. “Just promise me you won’t get caught up in all the glitz and glamour and forget about me.”
My Only Regret (Twisted Fate Book 1) Page 6