by Emilia Finn
I shake my head.
“It makes for the best dreams. The best orgasms. I’ll eat your pussy while you sleep.”
I press my thighs together to relieve the pressure. “I think I’d like that.”
“Yeah?” Smiling, he works his way up to the ball of my shoulder. “Me too. Your pussy tastes like heaven, Jess. Heaven.”
“Mmm.”
“Slide my tongue in. Lap you up. Bring you right to the edge.”
“Mmm.”
“You’ll still be asleep.”
“Okay.”
“Then just before you come, I’ll slam inside you till you feel my cock in your stomach.” He pushes his hips forward. “Then you can come.”
I drop my forehead to his chest. “Okay.”
“But only if you concentrate on the course. Every hit you make is another time I’ll let you come tonight.”
“More than one orgasm?”
“A hundred of them. But only if you hit the targets. This is so important to me, Jessie. I need you to concentrate.”
“I hit the paper targets. I even hit the same holes sometimes.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you. Now show me what you can do while running. You have a sore ankle and your stitches haven’t even dissolved yet, but you’ll still do it. You’ll still make the hits. And you’ll forever be cemented as the most badass woman on this planet.”
“You think I’m badass?”
Moving to my neck, he pulls the sensitive flesh between his teeth. “I already know you are. Nothing will knock you down, Jessie. This world cannot beat you. I’m honored to know you.”
25
Kane
Still No Jay
The next afternoon, I park in the same spot just up from Jess’ office and stare down at my cell screen.
I’ve called Jay every hour, every day since Sunday.
Nothing.
No answer.
No texts.
He’s not at the club.
And no one I ask seems to know where he is.
He doesn’t have a Jess. He doesn’t have anyone to pull his tongue out of his throat. No one to apply ice packs to bring the fever down. No one to keep the vultures away while he’s out.
I’m supposed to be that person for him, but Abel cut my coke as bad as he cut Jay’s. Jess saved my life, but the girl Jay was fucking wouldn’t give a shit.
Where the fuck is he?
Checking the time on my screen, I look into the street and watch her office door. It’s five to five, and though Jess is the workaholic type, she knows there’s no overtime for her this week.
This is my week.
All mine.
And I will not compromise.
It’s too important.
I watch Jess and Jules step out of the office and lock up. They sling purses over their shoulders and dig their hands into their pockets to combat the chilly wind. As they walk toward me – Jess in jeans instead of her usual fancy work clothes – I watch her laugh and chat with her boss, but catch her peeking up from beneath her lashes to watch me.
My cell chirps, and though I don’t see Jess’ hands, I still answer and listen to the inside of her pocket.
“Are you still sick?”
“Nah.” Jess’ voice is muffled, but I still know it’s her. I’d know her anywhere. “I’ve been busy studying for my exams. It’s a lot to take in.”
“You’re handling it though, right? Is it too much?”
“It’s alright. I’m getting there, taking it day by day.”
“What about the Hayes file? Want me to pull it? I can work on it some more.”
“No, you have other things going on. And the baby… you don’t need more work.”
“It’s not a big deal. I can call Arthur back. He’ll take over my stuff, I’ll take yours, and you can study. The year I sat the bar was literally the most stressful of my life. I know what you’re feeling right now, so I’m happy to yank it and give you breathing room.”
“No, I’m invested in this one. I don’t want to be booted.”
“I wouldn’t boot you.” Stopping at the corner with a smile, Juliette studies her prize student. “It’s not booting, just relieving. You can stay on as much as you want. But I can see how you’re stressed. You’re making yourself sick over it, so I’ll pull some of the extra stuff. Like Bishop. You said he might be a dead end, so I can deal with that.” I don’t know if I’m offended that she said I’m a dead end, or flattered that she’s trying to take the heat off me. “We think Flynn’s next on the food chain. And there’s another guy we haven’t even identified yet.”
I know who that is.
“Alex is getting antsy,” she continues. “He doesn’t like ghosts, so that unidentified guy’s gonna give him hives.”
The girls huddle close together at the corner, and though I watch them like a hawk, I can’t help but laugh. Jay’s the ghost, but he’s not a problem for them. He won’t hurt them. He knows Jess is mine, and Juliette is Jess’. They’re safe.
Alex, on the other hand, is making Abel nervous.
“No.” Taking the phone from her pocket, my sound becomes that much clearer as she waves Juliette off. “I’m okay. The exam is still months away, but maybe offer again when we get closer. I get the feeling the stress will only increase.”
“It really will. For the final months, you won’t have a life. Not even family dinner will tempt you out of your room.”
“So basically, my life will remain the same?”
Laughing, Juliette reaches out and squeezes Jess’ arm. “Nah. You come out of your room at the moment. As we get closer, you won’t even be coming into work. But it’s cool. I get it. I’ll cover for you. And maybe we’ll celebrate with new shoes.”
Jess laughs and turns her back to me. “Ya know, not everyone thinks expensive shoes are worth it.” Pulling her arms behind her back, she flips me off. “Some people actively abhor it.”
“Those people are wrong!” Juliette turns toward the parking lot with a grin. “You need to kick those people to the curb, baby girl, because you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.” When Jess doesn’t follow her to their cars, Juliette stops again. “You’re not coming?”
“Nah. Running to Jonah’s first. Need snacks, then I’m going to study Hayes some more.”
“Careful you don’t let him into your head. Don’t have nightmares because of this guy.”
“Too late,” Jess grumbles. Waving Juliette off, she turns and meets my eyes. “You can hear me?”
I nod.
And because she can’t hear me while holding her phone by her hip, I tell her what I think. I tell her without fear. I tell her everything I wish she could know, but can’t risk her knowing.
She’s safer never knowing.
“I love you, Jess. I’ll love you until the universe ceases to exist, and even then, it doesn’t go away. It just becomes invisible.” I run a hand over my short hair and sigh. We have two nights left. “I came to life when I met you, Jessie. Everything that happens this week, everything I do, is because I love you. I don’t want you to ever doubt that.”
Jess passes Jonah’s with a frown. Hunching against the breeze, she brings the phone up to her ear. “What did you say?”
Her silky voice soothes the ache in my chest. “Nothing.”
“I saw your lips move.”
“Gum.” I bring my fingers to my lips and pretend to take gum out. “Have a nice day trying to convict me?”
“Yep.” Thirty feet away, she shakes her hips. “It’s a fun game now. I get paid to research you. Best gig ever.”
I bet it is. “You look beautiful, Jessie.” I let my eyes slide along her jeaned legs. “Did I tell you that yet today?”
“Yeah. You mentioned it when I was showering.”
“That was a good shower.”
Ten feet from my truck, she blows an air kiss. “Best way to start the day. How was your day?”
“It was good.” When she opens the doo
r and slides in, I wrap my hand around her neck and pull her in until our lips clash. Her breath fills my lungs. Gives me purpose. Gives me life.
I slide my tongue along her plump lips and groan at how fucking stupid I am that I fell in love with this woman. She brings me to my knees. She disarms me, and for a guy in my line of work, that’s fucking dangerous.
When I’ve had my fill, I pull back and study her dreamy eyes. “My day started with fucking in the shower. Then I had breakfast with a beautiful blonde.”
“Yeah?” She works to catch her breath. “Then what?”
“Then I napped.” I laugh when my answer surprises her. “I didn’t finish work till four. I didn’t stop fucking you till five. I slept until seven, then I was fucking some more. Do you think I can live indefinitely without sleep?”
“Kinda.” Sitting back with flushed cheeks, she takes my hand and traces the inked patterns on the top. “I dunno. Obviously you need sleep, but I guess I never really thought much about it.”
“Are you rested?”
She shrugs. “I worked hard all day, so just regular tired.”
“You worked hard to put me away, but you had my cock in your mouth this morning – doesn’t that feel a little odd?”
Her arm predictably swings out and smacks my stomach. “Don’t be such a pig, Bishop! You’re lucky I kinda like you, or I’d work harder on your case.”
Laughter rolls through my chest as I twine our fingers together. “Instead of working harder, why not work smarter? Here’s an idea, you could just ask me questions.”
Her head tilts to the side. “Like what?”
“Anything you want. I know you have a billion. I know who your ghost is.”
Her eyes light up. “You do?”
“Mmhmm. I already told you his name before.”
“You did?”
“Uh-huh.” I drop a kiss beneath her ear. “I described his ass, too, I think.”
Her eyes narrow. “Jay?” She pulls back until our eyes meet. “The guy that was…” She coughs. “You know.”
“Fucking?” I chuckle. “Yeah, him. Jay with the white ass is your ghost. But don’t be scared of him. I promise, he’s not a problem for you.”
“Who is he? Who is he to Abel?”
“He’s my best friend. He’s my brother. He’s what I am to Abel.”
“And what exactly are you?”
Sitting back, I pull the seatbelt across her lap and buckle her in. Pulling out into the street, I stroke the back of her neck and start moving toward the gun range. “Enforcer. Fighter. Product tester. Logistics. Purchaser. Auditor. We’re anything Abel wants us to be.”
“Doesn’t that scare you?” With watery eyes, she scooches as close as her seatbelt allows. Placing her hand on my thigh, she digs it in under until her fingers are crushed between my leg and the seat. “You nearly died the other night, Kane. Doesn’t that terrify you?”
Jay’s face flashes through my mind. “It does. Abel’s never done that before.”
“Did he do it on purpose? Was he trying to kill you?”
“I dunno. He’s capable and often willing to kill the people around him, but maybe this particular time was an accident. I doubt he’d be sad if I died, but I’m not sure he did it on purpose.”
“I’d be sad if you died.” Unbuckling her belt as we cross the tracks leading out of town, she pulls my arm over her shoulder and presses her face to my chest. “I got kinda attached, you jerkoff. And I might actually be heartbroken if you die.”
I press my lips to the top of her head. “Don’t be sad, Jessie. You’re strong enough. I promise you are.” I pull across the grate that leads to the range and park in the dusty lot. “We have work to do.”
“Why are you teaching me to shoot? Do you think I’ll be in a gun fight sometime soon?”
“No, I don’t think you will.” The very thought makes me sick to my stomach. “But it’s my job to make sure you can protect yourself, just like it’s your fighter friend’s job to make sure his wife can fight. It’s what we do.” It’s what we do for the people we love. “Come on. I like that you wore your jeans today. Gives us an extra ten minutes to shoot things.”
With a scoff, she pushes away from me and scoots along the bench seat. Opening the door, she slides out and lands on her sneakered feet as I round the hood. “Are you gonna buy me a gun for Christmas?”
“No. I already bought you a gun.”
She digs her feet in and slides in the gravel. “What?”
“I got it yesterday, but you can’t have it till I say you’re ready. I’ll be fuckin’ pissed if you shoot yourself with the gun I bought you.”
“Why would you buy me a gun? I didn’t buy you anything yet.”
Laughing, I pull her close and drag her toward Spence’s front door. “You bought chicken and coleslaw yesterday. And orange juice on Sunday.” I squeeze her shoulder. “We don’t have time to waste. You gotta focus.”
It’s only seven, but as we move further away from fall and into winter, it looks almost midnight. If I ignore the reason for being out here, if I ignore the gun resting against my back and the fact this woman scares me half to death, I could imagine Jess and I are out on a date. A casual stroll under the stars. Stolen kisses by the water, silly giggles as we flirt.
But my life isn’t about innocent dates. I don’t get the luxury of flirting or stealing kisses.
I steal.
I steal loads of shit.
I stole Jess, and I’m not sorry for it. But eventually, I have to give her back.
I help her over a stack of hay as we take a walking tour of the range. Spencer will do anything for cash and an owed favor, so with a handshake and a nod, I became the sole owner of his entire complex for the rest of the night.
I’m taking her on a tour after spending more time in the booth, and I don’t want anyone accidentally fucking up and hurting her. So it’s just me and her, the stars, and five high powered pistols.
One of which is hers. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Every gun I own came off the black market. None of them can be traced back to me, and the one I got for Jess is the same. She could shoot anyone, and it’ll never be traced back to her or me.
If her cop friend finds out, she might get in a little trouble, but it’s better than paperwork leading back to her place if she shoots the wrong person.
“Alright, baby.” Leading her around, I keep catching her eyes wandering to my thighs. She has a thing for holsters, I think. “Hey.” I click my fingers. “You’ve gotta focus.”
Her eyes snap back to mine. “Hm?”
“Focus.”
“Why’d you wear camo today?”
I look down to my pants. “Why not?”
“Oh, come on! Ask any girl in the history of ever, and she’ll tell you camo is sexy. Add guns and muscles, and we’re a hot mess.”
“You like my pants?”
“Mm. Were you ever military? Is that where you got them?”
“No. I got these from Walmart.”
The way her shoulders drop is almost hilarious. My girl prefers designer. “That just ruined my fantasies.”
“You having fantasies?” I pull her around until we’re toe to toe, chest to chest, and her neck is bent far enough back that I could feast for days. “You thinking about me?”
“Mmm. Camo is sexy. Seriously sexy. You still have a viable career in dancing for women, you should know that. You just opened up a whole new avenue of possibilities. Last time I suggested this, it was just dancing. But now you can get some other guys in on it. Spencer’s sexy, and you said he’s ex-army. Add that guy from your building; he’s pretty sexy, too. What’s Jay look like?”
“What the fuck?” My head shoots back. “Are you fuckin’ insane? Stop fantasizing about them!”
“Remember that time you asked if I’ve ever been fisted?”
“Of course. And just for the record, I’ve never done that to anyone. I was playing.”
“Oh, I kno
w.” She reaches up and slides her finger along the ink circling my neck. “But I’ve also never been fucked by three military guys at once. If you wanted to start that business, I could be the product tester.”
“Jessica!”
“It would be a hardship. I promise not to like any of it, but I’d be willing to help you out.”
“Jess! No! What the fuck is the matter with you?” I want to shake her. “Did you go brain dead in the last ten minutes? Why the fuck would you think I’d be into sharing you?”
She shrugs and pulls the Glock from her own thigh holster. “I dunno. Same reason you thought I’d be into getting a fist to the vag, I guess. Or sucking your cock while you were overdosing on cocaine. The same reason you thought I’d be into using the ass plug in your bedside drawer.”
She’s teasing. She’s winning. “No fisting. No sharing.”
“No ass plug.”
“To be discussed.”
Her eyes flash. “No!”
“What if I gag you? Then you can’t say no.”
She smacks me in the stomach and turns to walk away. “You’re a pig! I haven’t shot you yet today. Now might be a good time.”
“Don’t shoot me, Blondie.” I jog to catch up and throw my arms around her shoulders. Burying my face in her hair, I bite her earlobe and that sneaky piercing nobody ever sees. “I’m begging you. Don’t shoot me.”
Five minutes after taking her in my arms, I spin her around at the start of the circuit and help her load her gun. “Follow the steps, Jess. Roll when you gotta roll. Climb when you’ve gotta climb. And watch your six.”
26
Kane
Paddy’s Truck Stop
I step out of my truck a little after midnight on Saturday morning and watch my six. The cold air nips at my fingers and nose. It’s not that cold out, but the reason for being here – the fact I left Jess a few hours ago and the knowledge that I haven’t heard from Jay in almost a full week – has adrenaline slamming through my body, leaving me a little twitchy.