Monica tipped her head, her smile turned questioning. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” Sawyer blinked, forcing a neutral expression. “Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
Her finely shaped brows pulled together. “Oh … are you expecting someone?”
A fresh wave of pain hit his chest. “No.” Not anymore. He swallowed back the disappointment.
Monica brightened. “Great! If you don’t have plans tonight, we were wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner and a movie. I was going to call, but Jeremy thought it would be better if we just swung by instead.” She glanced over her shoulder at Jeremy’s car waiting in the drive. Jeremy and his girlfriend Sarah waved.
Sawyer waved back, stalling as he debated what to say to Monica. She seemed to sense his hesitation.
“It’s no big deal. We’re just hanging out as a group of friends. What do you say?” She tipped her head to the side.
“Uh,” Sawyer hedged. He didn’t want to give Monica the wrong impression. He wasn’t interested in pursuing anything beyond friendship with her—not when Lily had taken his heart with her back to New York. But on the other hand, it was just a friendly invitation, and he could use some friends tonight. He nodded. “Sure. Thanks for the invite.”
“Perfect.” She beamed at him, her blue eyes sparkling.
“Let me just grab a jacket,” he said.
“I’ll be waiting in the car.”
Guilt pricked his insides at her enthusiasm. “Okay,” he answered. He would definitely need to make it clear in as kind a way as possible that he was only looking for friendship. Maybe that conversation wouldn’t even be necessary though. He wasn’t sure he could handle any more emotionally charged topics for a while.
He went to the mudroom and reached for his leather jacket before realizing it wasn’t hanging in its usual spot.
He’d given it to Lily.
He stared at the space that stood empty without the jacket that had always hung there … just like the hollowness in his chest that stood empty now that Lily was gone.
16
“Lily, do you have a minute?” Deidre asked.
Lily rubbed her temples. She should have taken an Advil sooner to stave off the headache from crying the night before. “Sure. Come in, Deidre,” she said, putting her hands down and clasping them on her desk.
Her assistant smiled, the whites of her teeth a lovely contrast to her ebony skin. She stepped into the office and handed Lily a lipstick sample. “It’s that coral shade from the new line. They tweaked the color as you requested to make it pinker and less orange. What do you think?”
Lily reached for the sample and ran it over the back of her hand, analyzing the shade. After a moment she nodded her approval. “Yes, that’s much better. Orange tones are rarely flattering on anyone, so this will do nicely.” She handed the sample back and signed the paperwork to move forward with production. “I think that should do it,” she said, trying to muster a smile that she didn’t feel as she handed the paperwork to Deidre.
“Excellent.” Deidre held the clipboard to her chest and smiled expectantly.
“Was … there anything else?” Lily didn’t want to be rude, but she wasn’t in the mood for chitchat. In fact, she hadn’t been in the mood for that since she’d gotten home from Arkansas a week ago. She’d employed her usual tactic of burying herself in work, but even that hadn’t helped to take her mind off of Sawyer. She’d had to put cooling masks over her eyes every morning before work to hide the puffiness from crying. Not to mention the headaches from all of the tears. So much for forgetting about him.
“Well, yes,” Deidre hedged, her dark eyes squinting in confusion. “I wondered what you wanted to name this shade?”
“Oh. Right.” Lily loved naming the shades of her products, it had always been one of her favorite parts of creating the makeup. How could she have forgotten? “Um, let me see …” She tapped her chin, trying to decide what name would fit the coral lipstick, but nothing was coming. Her headache pounded against her skull at the effort and she massaged her temples again.
“Are you alright?” Deidre asked with a concerned frown.
“I’m fine,” Lily lied. Fine was becoming her new mantra. She hoped that if she repeated it enough times, she would start to believe it.
Deidre tilted her hip, resting the clipboard against it. “It seems like you’ve had some bad headaches the past few days. Are you sure I can’t get you something?”
Lily gave her a half-hearted smile. “I’m just tired.” That wasn’t a lie. She hadn’t slept well in days. She waved her hand. “Why don’t you decide what to name the shade?”
Deidre blinked and pointed at her chest. “Me?” She shook her curly dark hair emphatically. “Oh no, I couldn’t. You always come up with such clever names—”
“Sure you could,” Lily interjected, forcing her smile brighter. “I’m confident you’ll come up with something wonderful.” She stood from her desk and ushered Deidre toward the open doorway. “Give it a try and let me know what you come up with. Have fun with it.”
“But—” Deidre protested.
“You’ll be excellent. Let me know when you hear from shipping on that order of primer we’re waiting on.” Lily smiled and shut the door before Deidre could argue. She leaned against the door and let out a deep sigh, rubbing her temples again in an attempt to chase away the ache. What she really needed was something to help block Sawyer from her thoughts. How was she supposed to function when everything reminded her of him? She’d even thought she’d caught a glimpse of him on the subway this morning and her knees had nearly buckled, but then the man had turned, and disappointment flooded her when she’d realized it wasn’t him.
She’d thought over their conversations countless times, tormented with regret that she hadn’t agreed to give their relationship another chance—before circling back to the same conclusion: it wouldn’t work.
She sat at her desk, sighing deeply at all of the awaiting reports in front of her. Normally she would have relished digging into them, but today they seemed like a burden. All she wanted to do was snuggle up in Sawyer’s leather jacket, breathing in his scent as she curled up on her couch with a quart of ice cream and a sappy movie. It was a pathetic routine, but she couldn’t help it.
She checked the clock. She could tough it out for a few more hours and then she could leave without it being too suspicious, although Deidre would definitely raise an eyebrow considering Lily used to stay at her office until well into the night hours.
She sighed again and picked up a chart with sales projections when another knock sounded at her door. She groaned inwardly, ready to assure Deidre that she could in fact handle naming a tube of lipstick. “Come in,” she called.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for the owner of this fine establishment.”
“Sadie?!” Lily’s mouth dropped open and she jumped out of her seat. “What are you doing here?” She grabbed her sister in a tight hug.
Sadie laughed and returned the hug. “I told you I would come visit.”
“Yes, but I didn’t know it would be so soon. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were coming!” Lily pulled back and shook her head, delighted with the surprise.
Sadie’s eyes danced. “I thought it would be more fun this way.” She glanced around the office. “You’ve changed things around in here since the last time I visited.”
Lily gave her a wry smile. “I think what you mean to say is that it’s more cluttered.” She shrugged. “The company has been doing well and we need a building with more space. I’m working on it, but New York real estate isn’t cheap.”
Sadie smiled and nodded. “It sounds like a good problem to have though. You’ve worked hard to make your company what it is. I’m proud of you, sis.”
“Thanks.” Lily warmed with the praise. There was nothing like a compliment from a big sister. “So, are you here to dress shop? Did Mom come with you?” She glanced behind her, expecting her mom wo
uld walk through the door as an added surprise.
Sadie gave her an apologetic frown. “She wanted to come, but the festival is taking all of her focus right now. She sends her love and promises she’ll visit soon.”
“Oh.” Lily’s shoulders fell in disappointment. “So I’m guessing you’re not here for dress shopping. Mom would never let you do that without her.”
Sadie shook her head, holding Lily’s gaze. “I didn’t come for dress shopping … I came to talk to you.”
Lily gave her a strange look. “I talk to you almost every day.”
Sadie crossed her arms. “You haven’t returned any of my calls—or Mom’s—since you left Arkansas. We’re worried about you.”
Lily bit her lip. “I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy with work that I haven’t had time—”
“Lil,” Sadie said, giving her a no-nonsense look. “Come on. This isn’t about work and you know it.”
Lily’s throat tightened. There was no sense in trying to fool her sister. “I—I just can’t talk about it right now, okay?” She straightened and lifted her chin. “And I’m a grown woman now. You don’t need to fly out here just because I don’t answer my calls for a few days. I texted Mom to tell her I made it home safely. I needed some space to sort through my feelings, that’s all.”
Sadie searched her face. “I know you’re a grown woman who can handle herself, but you’ll always be my little sister and I’ll always care about you.” She smiled softly and put her hand on Lily’s shoulder. “I’ll give you your space if that’s what you really want—but I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Thanks.” Heat pricked the backs of Lily’s eyes and she swallowed hard a few times. “I just—” Her throat tightened around the words, and she shook her head. This was not good. She couldn’t come unglued at work. Once the tears started falling there was no stopping them.
Sadie seemed to sense her thoughts and looked at her watch. “Have you taken your lunch break yet? I’m starving.”
Lily sniffed and straightened her shoulders, giving her a relieved nod. “Lunch sounds great.”
A knock sounded at the open doorframe and she turned to see Deidre standing there, her face bright with mischief. “I see your surprise showed up.”
Lily laughed and dabbed at the corners of her eyes, hoping Deidre would attribute her tears to seeing Sadie. “You knew about this?”
Deidre shrugged. “I figured you wouldn’t mind if I let your sister up to visit you. You two look so similar.”
“Thanks,” they answered simultaneously. It wasn’t the first time Lily had been told that, and she always took it as a compliment.
Deidre smiled and held up some papers. “I’ve got an article for Glam magazine highlighting your ‘miracle foundation’ I thought you’d like to see, as well as some test group results for the new liquid eyeliners.”
“Awesome. Put them on my desk and I’ll look them over later.” Lily smiled and then turned and winked at Sadie. “Right now I’m going to lunch with my sister.”
17
“Wow, you really know how to spoil a girl,” Sadie teased as they were seated at 230 Fifth, the swanky rooftop restaurant that was Lily’s favorite place for a special meal.
“I have to step up my game now that you’re engaged to a movie star,” she teased, raising her crystal goblet with sparkling water to her lips. “Before you know it, you’ll be insisting on nothing less than the royal treatment.”
Sadie laughed. “Please slap me if I do. That’s one of the things I love most about Gavin, he somehow manages to stay grounded in the midst of all the fame.”
“He does. And you’ll be the same way,” Lily assured her. “You’ve taken all of this in stride, and you’re still the same Sadie I’ve always known and loved. You guys are a perfect match.”
Sadie smiled the same smile that lit up her face whenever she thought about Gavin. “Thanks, Lil.” She took a sip of her water and set the glass down, her expression turning serious. “Gavin is actually the reason I came out here to talk to you.”
Lily quirked an eyebrow. “He is?”
Sadie nodded and shifted in her seat. “He sort of had a talk with Sawyer the other day.”
Lily’s heart stung at the sound of Sawyer’s name and she turned away, pretending to study the skyline of skyscrapers. “Oh?”
“Yes. Gavin promised Sawyer he wouldn’t relay the conversation to you … but I never made that promise.”
Lily’s eyes flicked to her sister, her insides burning with curiosity. “What did they talk about?”
The waiter picked that inopportune moment to appear and take their orders. Lily ordered her usual miso glazed salmon salad, bouncing her foot impatiently as she waited for Sadie to decide what to order. When the overly attentive waiter finally left, she leaned forward again. “So?” she pressed.
Sadie smiled as if Lily’s eagerness confirmed something for her. “Well, Gavin told me that Sawyer ended up stranded on the lake because his wave runner broke down—a fact I had to find out from him since my sister was too busy to call me,” she said with an accusatory glare.
Lily lifted a hand and rolled her eyes. “I said I was sorry.”
“I know, I know.” Sadie smiled. “Anyway, Gavin went out to help Sawyer and they couldn’t get the wave runner started, so they ended up towing it back with Gavin’s boat.” She leaned back in her seat, clasping her hands. “And they talked.”
Lily pressed her lips together, ready to self-combust if Sadie didn’t give her more information. “What did they talk about?” she prodded.
Sadie’s hazel eyes searched hers. “They talked about you, Lil.”
Lily held her breath, both elated and terrified to hear more.
Sadie traced the rim of her water goblet. “Sawyer told Gavin that he asked you to give him another chance … and that you turned him down.” She paused, finding Lily’s gaze. “Want to talk about it?”
Lily released the breath she’d been holding and leaned back in her seat. She’d hoped for more information than that—but what, she wasn’t exactly sure. “Yes, he did ask me, and yes, I did turn him down.” Her heart pinched. “It wouldn’t work, Sadie.”
“Why not?”
“Because I live here.” Lily motioned around them. “Sawyer would never want to live in New York, and I can’t leave this company that I’ve worked so hard to build. It just doesn’t make sense.”
“Did you ask him if he’d be willing to live in New York?”
“No.”
Sadie gave her a look. “So you’re making assumptions?”
Lily shook her head. “You don’t know Sawyer like I do. If I told him I wanted him here, he would come. But I know it’s not where he wants to be. Not really. He loves Arkansas, and he wants to stay close to his mom.”
“But you didn’t even give him the option, Lil. And what about you considering moving back to Arkansas?”
Frustration built in Lily’s chest. “I told you, I can’t leave my company. I’ve worked too hard to let it all go.”
Sadie was quiet for a moment, studying her. “I’m just afraid you might be getting your priorities a little skewed,” she said finally.
Lily tilted her head, feeling her defenses rising. “My priorities?”
“Yes. I’m worried that maybe you’re putting your work ahead of everything else and might end up regretting it.”
Lily balked as the frustration gave way to anger. “What would you say if I told you that you had to give up your writing to be with Gavin?”
“I’d pick Gavin,” Sadie answered without hesitation.
Lily huffed a laugh and crossed her arms. “Well that’s easy for you to say since you don’t have to choose.”
Sadie gave her a patient look, the kind that was slightly patronizing when she was in big-sister-advice mode. “I’m not saying it wouldn’t be a sacrifice for me if I had to give it up, and I’m not trying to downplay what you’ve accomplished. I’m just saying that when it c
omes right down to it, you can’t take your business with you after this life. It’s the relationships we have that matter. Gavin and I are concerned that you might have it backwards right now.”
Lily jutted out her chin. “Gavin barely even knows me. It’s hardly his place to say how I should live my life.”
“He knows enough, Lil,” Sadie returned. “Anyone can see that you’re glued to your phone and you never have time to come visit us. Yes, all of this is amazing,” she gestured around the restaurant, “and you’ve got a successful company and money and a nice apartment—but is it worth the cost?”
Lily’s lungs burned, her emotions a taut wire. “You’re telling me I should give up my company? This company is the very reason that Sawyer broke up with me five years ago. He decided back then that it was more important than us, so don’t blame this on me.”
“What?” Sadie’s brows pulled together.
“Oh, he didn’t mention that part to Gavin?” Lily said, her voice heavy with sarcasm. “That’s right, he crushed my heart because he wanted me to live my dream and build my company. He didn’t want to get in the way, so he let me go.” She shook her head, her chest tight. “Why did he let me go? It all would have been so simple if he hadn’t.” Even though she knew the reasons why, she couldn’t shake the regret of what might have been.
“Oh, Lil, I’m sorry.” Sadie put her hand over Lily’s and gave it a squeeze. “You carried that heartbreak for so long. It isn’t fair.”
Lily shrugged. “No one ever said life was fair.”
Sadie smiled sadly. “Dad always said that.”
Lily nodded. “And you’ve known your own share of heartache, after dealing with Kyle for all of those years. Pain is a part of life, and I’ve got to learn to deal with it and move on.”
Sadie squinted. “Kyle was a jerk, and it took me a while to see that. What Sawyer did for you, he did out of love. He’s only ever wanted to make you happy, Lil.”
The Billionaire's Second Chance: Billionaire Bachelor Mountain Cove Page 11