Morning Grass had a confused expression on her face.
“The term coming out of the closet is a euphemism,” Russo explained. “It has a special meaning.”
“If you say so,” Morning Grass said. An impish smile appeared on her face.
Russo shot a glance at Morning Grass that told the feline she was no longer amused by her attempts at humor.
Morning Grass wasted no time re-opening the barrier to step through, but before she was completely outside, she turned back around and blurted out, “I forgot something.”
Russo closed her eyes and with a shake of her head asked, “What?”
“Teacher just earned his first weekend pass. He’ll be here tomorrow evening about dinner time.”
Something inside Russo took a tremendous leap. She became instantly uncomfortable and unable to make eye contact with Morning Grass. “That’s great. I imagine the two of you have plans for tomorrow evening, then?”
Several emotions washed over Russo at the same time. She was excited to hear Teacher would be back, a bit jealous he wasn’t coming to see her and disgusted with herself for having feelings other than happiness for Morning Grass.
“Nothing solid,” Morning Grass replied. She had difficulty containing her excitement. “We’ll probably have a late dinner. He says he has something to tell me. He didn’t give me any hints, but I think he got a promotion. He was hoping to get a commission. That would be wonderful. He deserves it.”
“He certainly does,” Russo replied. “You’ll have to let me know what he tells you.”
“You’re welcome to join us. That is, if you aren’t already doing anything tomorrow evening.”
“I don’t think it would be a good idea,” Russo replied. She began to perspire when she realized her tone and choice of words probably sounded gruff.
“What do you mean by that, Dawn Marie?”
“Poor choice of words,” Russo said. Her eyes were wet again and once more she wiped them with the sleeve of her smock. “Look, Morning Grass, I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night. What I meant to say was, ‘I don’t think Teacher would appreciate me tagging along.’ I imagine after being away for so long, he would want to spend time alone with you, especially if he has some important news to share.”
“What is it with you humans?” Morning Grass shook her head in astonishment. “You hide yourselves away to discuss things you should be celebrating with family and friends, but think nothing of creating public displays of affection that make others feel uncomfortable.”
Russo gave Morning Grass an awkward smile. “I never really thought about it that way, but—”
“But, what,” Morning Grass asked. “Do you not believe you’re an important part of what has transpired in my life recently, or Teacher’s for that matter? Don’t you realize you’ve become part of our family?”
“There are times when even close family can be in the way,” Russo said. “There are times when a couple needs to be alone to discuss their future.”
“Agreed,” Morning Grass answered. “However, when feline males and females mate; they’re not a couple. You seem to be forgetting that. If we’re discussing the future of a family, there is always at least one more present.”
“What are you saying,” Russo asked. “I don’t understand.”
“Felines have a different idea of what privacy is,” Morning Grass said. “In general, the issues that would involve a bonded human pair affect more than two of us. If you’re afraid you might be embarrassed by what you would hear during any dinner conversation Teacher and I had, you should put your fears to rest. We have no surrogate third, so we won’t be discussing our desires or physical needs tomorrow night, if that’s what had you worried. Anything we talk about during dinner I’d be sharing with you the next day, anyway. You might as well hear it firsthand.”
“Well, when you put it that way…” Russo took a moment to consider the invitation. “Still, if you insist on me joining you, I would be more comfortable with you asking Teacher if he minds. I don’t want to impose.”
“You wouldn’t be imposing, but I’ll ask if it will make you feel better.”
“It will,” Russo said.
Morning Grass smiled. “Are you ready to join the rest of us, then?”
Russo stood. “I suppose so.” She still had a dour look on her face.
“I wish you would tell me what’s bothering you, Dawn Marie.”
“I can’t, Morning Grass. It’s something I need to deal with myself.”
Morning Grass reached out and put her hand on Russo’s shoulder. “Suit yourself. I’m here if you want to talk, though.”
“Thank you, again. I’ll be okay.”
Morning Grass shrugged. “I thought hearing Teacher is coming back for a few days would cheer you up.”
“I am happy to hear it. I’m sorry if I have trouble showing just how much at the moment.”
Morning Grass knelt down and embraced Russo. “I hope you aren’t keeping something life and death from me. It would upset me to the point of anger if I found out later you didn’t trust me enough to confide.” She placed a gentle kiss on Russo’s cheek.
Russo stood there rigidly. She placed her hands around Morning Grass’ back to return the embrace, but didn’t hold the feline tightly. “It isn’t life or death, Morning Grass, but, it’s something I must deal with on my own. If I thought it would make me feel better to talk with you about it, I would.”
Morning Grass drew Russo closer.
When Russo felt the concern evident in the embrace, she cried freely.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it,” Morning Grass asked.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’ll be alright. I just need to be by myself for a while. Don’t fret this, please. There’s no sense in both of us being upset.”
Morning Grass refused to release Russo while she was still crying. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to stay.”
Russo didn’t object.
Morning Grass couldn’t think of anything encouraging to say to Russo, but continued to hold her tightly. Various reasons for Russo’s distress ran through Morning Grass’ mind as she allowed her distraught human friend to vent. Without warning a question formed in Morning Grass’ conscious mind and burst from her mouth before she could stop it.
“You know I love you, don’t you, Dawn Marie?”
Russo cried even harder. “Yes I do. I love you, too.” She pushed herself away so she could look Morning Grass in the eye and added, “I know you won’t understand this, but that isn’t a comfort to me right now.”
Chapter 54
“Come in and sit down, Dawn Marie,” Stiles said.
Before the door was fully closed behind her, Russo began to talk. “If you wanted to ask about this morning, Peggy, I’m sorry. I already apologized to everyone.”
“Guilty conscience,” Stiles asked. “I only wanted to talk with you about something you might find flattering.”
“I wish I could think of something at the moment.”
“I’m sure,” Stiles replied. “Before I give you the good news, you should probably tell me what’s bothering you.”
Russo turned red. “Then this isn’t about my showing up in a bad mood and snapping at everyone?”
“Haley might have mentioned you were out of sorts, but I wasn’t too concerned. Are you telling me we need to discuss it?”
“I didn’t mean to leave you with that impression, Peggy. It’s nothing to worry about. I promise.”
“You should tell me what it is and let me decide if I should worry about it. It isn’t just today, you’ve been moody for a month or more. I don’t believe you’re over your divorce, yet.”
“Alex has been the last thing on my mind lately, Peggy,” Russo replied. “I hadn’t thought about him for weeks until Haley brought him up during a chat last night.”
“If you say so,” Stiles said. “You look tired. Have you been sleeping well lately?”
“I’ve been
waking up in the middle of the night off and on, but I don’t have any problems falling back to sleep.”
“I hope you aren’t having nightmares,” Stiles said. “I’m busy enough with the ones Morning Grass has been having.”
Russo fumbled uncomfortably looking for a reply that was honest but didn’t reveal enough to make Stiles want to probe any further. “To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what my dreams have been about for the last few weeks.”
“I hope you aren’t taking any of your frustrations from work to bed with you,” Stiles said. “I know it’s difficult to avoid at times.”
“I’ve learned to leave them at the door when I get to my cabin at night,” Russo assured her. “You know I have enough in my personal life. I don’t need to carry the work-related ones around.”
Stiles asked Russo, point blank, “You haven’t been thinking about hurting yourself again, have you?” When Russo failed to answer quickly enough to suit her, she asked, “Well, have you?”
“No, Peggy. I haven’t. I swear. You’ve been keeping my ass too busy. I don’t have time to think about it.”
Stiles didn’t smile. “I almost hate to tell you, then. You’re about to become a lot busier.”
“Busier,” Russo asked. “I don’t understand.”
“The talks are complete regarding the permanent hospital in the feline settlements. We start construction at the beginning of the week.”
“That’s wonderful,” Russo said. “The felines need all the help we can send them.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. I’ll need you to step it up just a bit.”
“Do you want me to take extra shifts in the rotation? I don’t mind the extra hours.”
“I’m not talking about additional shifts,” Stiles said. “Although, I imagine you will be putting in a lot of extra hours.”
“Do you want me to teach,” Russo asked. “Did we get permission to start offering the felines pre-med classes? Morning Grass will be thrilled.”
“Please wait on me to catch up with you, Dawn Marie. I’m sorry, but the Consolidated Earth Government still insists on sending us real instructors from medical schools back home to train the feline doctors.”
“What then,” Russo asked.
“Are you familiar with a war council elder named November?”
“I only met her once. It was a month ago during one of the outreach trips.”
“Well, you must have impressed her greatly,” Stiles said. “She is asking — strike that — She is demanding that the Forward Command put you in charge.”
“Why me,” Russo asked. “I don’t understand.”
“The rest of us are scratching our heads, also. We don’t know what to think. We were hoping you might be able to give us an idea why she’s so adamant. She and the rest of the war council are standing firm. No Russo, no hospital.”
“I don’t have any idea why she made that demand, Peggy. I only spoke with her once. I logged the conversation in my report. That was my only interaction with her.”
“Then you would have no idea why they asked for Morning Grass to be assigned full-time as well?”
“Not a clue, Peggy. I swear.”
“We’ll just have to figure it out later,” Stiles said. “For now, I need to make you aware of just how important this is. Wilkes will be briefing the Secretary General on our efforts weekly. The hospital and all of its personnel will be under a microscope. Any screw-ups aren’t likely to be forgiven. Is that understood?”
“Of course, Peggy. I understand completely.”
“Are you sure? Because the Forward Command’s definition of screw-up is more all-encompassing than mine would be.”
“Are you trying to discourage me from accepting this assignment,” Russo asked.
“If I had my choice, I wouldn’t put either you or Morning Grass under that kind of scrutiny. You’re too soon out of your residency and Morning Grass isn’t a fully trained medic. But, the choice isn’t mine, or the Forward Command’s. It’s up to you and her.”
“So, you don’t think I’m up to this?”
“If this were only a medical mission, I’d assign you without a second thought, but the political and diplomatic concerns are primary here. You’re a top notch doctor, Dawn Marie, but you aren’t a political animal. Sometimes, part of being a doctor is knowing how to choose your battles.”
“My patients always have and always will come first, Peggy,” Russo replied. “It’s an integral part of my philosophy. I don’t see how I could possibly change.”
“The wellbeing of patients should be the first priority of any medical professional. I’m not asking you to change that. You’ll learn with time, however, there will be situations where you’ll need to step back and look at the big picture. Everything we do has consequences outside of the situation at hand. Concentrating on the needs of a single patient to the exclusion of your responsibility to your colleagues can damage your ability to help others in the future.”
“I think I understand what you’re saying, Peggy, but what if I know I’m right?”
“In the real world, there are different shades of right and wrong,” Stiles said. “Nothing is ever black and white. It would be wonderful if it was that simple. Sometimes our code of ethics clashes with our sense of morality. I wish I could say the right thing to do was always the most constructive, but I can’t. If you take this assignment, you’re going to have to make your decisions with that in mind.”
“Have you told Morning Grass about this,” Russo asked.
“I haven’t mentioned it to her yet,” Stiles said. “The Forward Command wanted me to speak with you before I did. They still have problems with Morning Grass’ ties to the separatists and they are worried the war council’s demands could be somehow related to the separatists’ efforts to infiltrate.”
“Morning Grass has been under your command for months,” Russo said. “You’ve been treating her for PTSD longer than that. Surely you know her well enough by now.”
“Until her amnesia is gone, she’s a threat,” Stiles replied. “We’ve been over this before. If you accept this assignment, you’ll need to keep an eye on her. That isn’t just me giving you advice. Commodore Wilkes told me to inform you he expects you to report any suspicious behavior immediately.”
Chapter 55
16-June-2210
Russo and Morning Grass were at the end of their shift when Morning Grass’ tablet alerted her to an incoming hyper-mail.
“It’s from Teacher.”
“I hope that isn’t bad news,” Russo said to herself as Morning Grass pulled up the message.
Morning Grass read the message and put the tablet down. “Damn it, anyway.” She looked about to cry.
“Is he not going to make it,” Russo asked.
“All leave is canceled until further notice. They’re afraid of more separatist attacks.”
“I’m sorry,” Russo said. “I know how much you were looking forward to seeing him.”
Russo was every bit as disappointed as Morning Grass, but she hoped she was keeping the depth of her disappointment hidden.
“I’ll live,” Morning Grass said. “I guess I should call and cancel our reservations at the Officer’s Lounge.”
“Maybe so,” Russo said, “but, do you have something to do to fill the time? You shouldn’t sit around and pout.”
“Do you have any suggestions,” Morning Grass asked.
“I have an idea. Would you like to learn how to play poker?”
* * *
Russo led Morning Grass into the flight deck lounge. As she suspected, Mbenga was already there at a poker table with a mix of marine regulars and fleet medical personnel. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Okay,” Mbenga said, “who the hell is trying to get a look at my hand?” He turned to see Russo smiling at him and stood to embrace her. “Damn it, everyone. Look who’s slumming it this evening.” He then glanced up at Morning Grass and reached for her
hand. “Who is this regal beauty you brought with you, DM,” he asked as Morning Grass placed her hand in his.
Morning Grass thought Mbenga was going to shake it, but instead he placed a gentile kiss on the knuckles and said, “Welcome.”
“Charles, this is Captain Morning Grass,” Russo said. “I oversee her medic’s training. Once the instructors get here from Earth, she’s decided to enter pre-med.”
“I’m delighted to finally meet you, Captain,” Mbenga said. “I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Colonel Charles Mbenga, but I’ll be insulted if you ever call me, ‘Colonel,’ or ‘Sir,’ during poker time. In case Dawn Marie failed to inform you, I ride herd on all the Residents of Astronautic Medicine and junior flight surgeons who take care of the shuttle and fighter pilots.”
“It’s my pleasure, Colonel Mbenga,” Morning Grass said. “Major Russo has told me quite a bit about you, also.”
“Hopefully she left a few things out,” Mbenga replied. He pointed toward a pair of empty spots at the large table. “Would you like to join us?”
“That’s why we’re here,” Russo said as she and Morning Grass sat.
The disappointment Morning Grass felt over Teacher’s canceled weekend pass never fully lifted, but as the evening wore on, the joviality and commotion surrounding her served to push it to the back of her mind. She was entranced by all the anecdotes being shared, although she was certain most of them had been embellished for her benefit.
Morning Grass was also taken by how much Russo seemed to be enjoying herself. She had never seen Russo so relaxed and open.
Russo’s eyes sparkled when she laughed and the smile she wore was brighter than Morning Grass remembered seeing.
“I wonder why Dawn Marie ever left the flight deck,” Morning Grass asked herself. “She certainly looks more comfortable in these surroundings. She’s radiant. With all of this attention, how could it be that Dawn Marie isn’t spoken for?”
At the end of the evening, Russo and Morning Grass made their way from the flight deck toward their cabins. Both had consumed enough alcohol around the poker table to make it seem as if the gravity generators in the deck plates were working only intermittently. They found the lift to take them to their quarters and climbed on.
War Orphans (The Terra Nova Chronicles) Page 24