Teacher’s frustration turned to confusion as Russo quickly mounted him.
Russo closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She ran her hands from Teacher’s abdomen up to his chest and with her eyes still closed tightly, whispered, “No, you don’t understand. You don’t at all. How could you? I don’t understand this, myself.”
Chapter 59
18-August-2210
Bravo, Charlie and Tango knocked on Calf Stealer’s door. They could hear him cursing in the background as a half-dressed Bridgette let them in.
“Sorry to bother you, Cappy,” Tango said, “but, you told us to get Bravo’s ass here as soon as he got to New Phoenix.”
“I didn’t mean for you to pull me out of bed in the middle of the night,” Calf Stealer said, as he and November emerged from the bedroom. “This could have waited until the morning.”
“It’s not their fault, Alpha,” Bravo said. “I wouldn’t let them wait until sunup. I just saw something I have trouble believing.”
November walked directly to Bravo and threw her arms over his shoulders. “Never mind him. It’s good to see you.”
“I’ve been missing you and Alpha something fierce, November,” Bravo replied. “I was pleasantly surprised to get your call.” He turned to Calf Stealer. “Do you know what I just saw in one of the taverns? It scared the shit out of me.”
Charlie spoke up. “Morning Grass and her mate were there. They had Major Russo with them.”
Bravo shrugged his shoulders. “What the hell is Morning Grass doing in an Earth military uniform and how did she manage to fall in with another Russo?"
“The major does bear an uncanny family resemblance, doesn’t she,” November asked. “I find it very difficult to see her arrival at this time and her making Morning Grass’ acquaintance as a coincidence.”
“Please, November,” Calf Stealer begged.
“You can refuse to believe in an afterlife,” November said. “That’s your choice. I choose to believe I will have one and there is a deity watching over us who intervenes in times of distress. Black Bear believed in an afterlife, and he told me himself if humans have one, so would we.”
“Black Bear also told us the various Earth humans had thousands of deities and warred regularly in their names against one another.” Calf Stealer gritted his teeth. “I find that to be evidence none of those deities are real. Regardless of what Black Bear said about human beliefs, it was his desire that we find our own way.”
“I’m as spiritually minded as the next guy,” Bravo said, “but, it’s the middle of the night and you didn’t call me here to discuss religion.”
“We need to find Black Bear,” November said. “We need him to speak to the war council.”
“You saw Sierra in the pub,” Charlie said. “He’s getting harder to contain. He’s been shelling the Terran base near the mountains.”
“The Terrans haven’t been shelling him back, have they,” Bravo asked. “That could get messy.”
“They’ve shown tremendous restraint,” Calf Stealer said. “They could have gone into the mountains full force and eliminated Sierra and his rebels at will, but so far they’ve only sent air power in to take out the positions he’s been shelling them from.”
Calf Stealer motioned for everyone to take a chair. “We have information I obtained informally that the Ekkidans have told Earth they don’t want us to be a part of any treaty. We have the support of the Zunnuki, of course, but the Terrans have no reason to demand we be included other than fear of angering the Zunnuki. We’re talking about two powerful space faring races that desire to annex a world without the might to demand they leave.”
“That would tell me Sierra has a point,” Bravo said. “You should probably listen to him.”
“For us to take up arms against the Terrans would certainly make things easy for them,” Calf Stealer said. “They could vaporize us from orbit in a few seconds time and be done with it. Are you ready to put such foolishness aside and discuss this rationally?”
“If Black Bear were still alive and wanted to be found,” Bravo asked, “what makes you think Sierra would listen to him?”
“Do you have a better idea? If you do, I’d love to hear it. I have the support of some of the humans in the Terran Forward Command, even though Sierra has strained their patience. Our only hope is to find a way to make him see reason before he goes too far. If we lose the support we have among the humans, what lives we have left will most likely be spent in hunger and poverty. That is, if they don’t just decide to exterminate us.”
“Black Bear needs to know the situation,” November said. “Even if he chooses not to interfere.”
“Is he still alive,” Calf Stealer asked. “Will you take me to him, Bravo?”
“Just what makes you think I know where he is,” Bravo asked.
“He would have trusted nobody else to transport him and his mate to wherever he’s gone,” Calf Stealer said. “I’m not foolish enough to believe he walked into the mountains to die. I also find it hard to believe out of all the qualified feline pilots, you’re the only one allowed in a cockpit since the defeat of the creators. Why is it you chose to relocate to New Australia when all your friends are here?”
“Black Bear isn’t on New Oz,” Bravo said. “I swear to you.”
“Of course he isn’t,” Calf Stealer grumbled. “I told you I’m not a fool and I have eyes and ears in the compound. Where do you go when you leave New Oz in your shuttle? You don’t come here. Are you going to the Ark?”
“No,” Bravo replied. “The colonists would never allow Black Bear access to the Ark and you know it.”
“Where then, Bravo,” Calf Stealer asked. “Where do you go?”
“I can’t take you to Black Bear and that’s the end of it.”
“If you don’t take me to Black Bear, you’ve doomed us to oblivion. If I can’t convince him to talk to Sierra, we have no choice but to go into the mountains after the separatists.”
“A drawn out civil war would be disastrous,” November added. “The humans would pull out of the settlements and allow it to take its course.”
“Which brings me back to my original assessment,” Bravo said. “Perhaps Sierra is onto something. You all heard Black Bear tell you the Earth humans would be here before long. You also heard him tell you they would have an agenda when they arrived. The colonists on New Oz weren’t happy to see them when they showed up. As soon as they touched down, the Terrans began rounding the colonists up and taking them to who knows where. I don’t see how we can place our trust in them.”
“Do you know where Black Bear is,” Calf Stealer asked a final time. “He needs to know what is going on here. The decision whether or not to help should be his.”
“If you let the Terrans know where he is, they’ll arrest him on sight. They would never give him the chance to speak to Sierra. He’d be giving himself up for no good reason. I won’t be a party to that. I owe him too much. For that matter, you owe him too much.”
“I only want to talk to him,” Calf Stealer said. “It would be his choice to come back with us.”
“I’ll consider telling you where to find him, but I won’t take you,” Bravo said. “Let me think about it.”
“Is there something you desire in return for your help,” November asked.
“There isn’t anything you could pay me that would ease my conscience,” Bravo said. “I swore I’d never willingly tell anyone where he was.”
Chapter 60
Russo woke with a start. Daylight was coming in through the bedroom windows but there were still dark shadows obcuring all the corners.
Russo pushed Teacher’s arm from around her and sat up. A wave of nausea sent her to the foot of the bed and then to one of the open windows. She put her head through and emptied the contents of her stomach.
When she was able to pull her head back inside, Russo turned and looked at the bed where Teacher and Morning Grass still lay, not stirring. She saw the bloody
sheets and quickly glanced down at the gashes she received the night before. They were no longer bleeding, but they looked as if they had been for most of the night. There were crimson streaks and smears all over her breasts, thighs, buttocks and belly. Her back felt as if it had been scourged.
Tears began streaming as Russo realized the events of the previous evening, nightmarish as they were, had not been mere chimera. She fought hard not to cry aloud as she rustled through the items scattered about the ransacked bedroom in search of what was left of her uniform. Her greatest fear at that moment was that Teacher and Morning Grass would wake up and she would have to face them.
It wasn’t until Russo struggled noisily with the latch of the entryway door that the felines heard her stirring about and went to investigate. Russo was through the door and gone before they could stop her. They peered through the window as she hurriedly made her way down the dirt path toward the village.
“Stay here,” Morning Grass said as she looked around for her own uniform. “I’ll go after her.” She dressed herself quickly and ran out the door after Russo.
“Where are you going, Dawn Marie,” Morning Grass yelled as she gained on Russo.
When Russo heard Morning Grass behind her she broke into a full run toward the shuttle landing area. Morning Grass picked up her pace and was upon the distraught Russo in practically no time.
“Please stop, Dawn Marie.” Morning Grass reached out to grab Russo’s shoulder.
Russo spun and threw a jab to Morning Grass’ ribs that took her breath.
“Please stop,” Russo yelled as she threw another punch that the stunned Morning Grass partially deflected. “Please stop?”
Morning Grass defended herself, but didn’t counter as Russo raged on and took numerous swings. She cried as she begged Russo to calm down. “Please let me talk to you, Dawn Marie.”
“You took advantage of me,” Russo shrieked. “You knew I wanted Teacher so you let me get drunk off my ass and you used me.”
“I did nothing of the sort, Dawn Marie. You have to believe me.”
“I’m not a fucking surrogate,” Russo screamed as she continued throwing fruitless punches. “You raped me.”
Russo’s face was blood red and her anger showed no signs of abating when, for no clear reason, she dropped her fists and fell to her knees. She buried her face in her hands and bawled as loudly as she had been screaming seconds before.
Morning Grass was uncertain what to do but her first instinct was to drop to her own knees and take Russo in her arms. Once she did, Russo grabbed Morning Grass, pulled her close and continued crying violently.
“I let this happen,” Russo said. “I should have gone to the shuttle to sleep. I had a bad feeling from the beginning. I must have known this was possible.”
“No,” Morning Grass said, her own tears streaming. “It isn’t your fault. I was foolish to think I could contain my feelings for Teacher after being apart for so long. I promise you, though; none of what happened last night was intentional. I would rather die than hurt you, Dawn Marie. I swear.”
“I made love to Teacher after you passed out. I took him over and over again while you were lying there. I feel so filthy. I would never have done that if I had been thinking clearly. I crossed the line. What I did was unforgivable. Teacher belongs to you.”
“Why do you think of yourself as an intruder, Dawn Marie,” Morning Grass asked. “And, how can you be upset with yourself for having feelings for Teacher? I don’t understand. Shouldn’t you be happy that you’ve found someone who fills you with such desire? I admit there’s a lot about human relationships I don’t understand, but the three of us have grown so close. It’s only for Teacher to say if he wants to belong to anyone. After last night, though, I’m sure he wishes to belong to the both of us.”
“To the both of us,” Russo asked. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know exactly what is on Teacher’s mind at the moment,” Morning Grass said. “But, I can tell you how I feel.” She squeezed Russo even more tightly. “I will always have to share Teacher with another, and if I must, I can think of nobody I would rather share him with than you.”
“Share him,” Russo asked. “I have no desire to be ‘the other woman’. I know how I would feel if I had to share my mate.”
“You must free yourself from thinking in human terms if you ever want to understand Teacher and me,” Morning Grass said. “We’re not human.”
Morning Grass brushed the bangs from Russo’s eyes, but the mortified Russo refused to look up and make eye contact. Instead, she cried more violently at Morning Grass’ display of affection and understanding.
“Teacher can never belong to me alone if he is ever truly going to be happy, Dawn Marie. That has to be obvious to you after spending so much time among felines. The only reason it’s been just the two of us for so long is because we’ve never found a stable third. None of the surrogates we’ve been with have given us offspring.”
“After my regeneration we will never be able to have children so a long-term relationship with a surrogate is unlikely. Teacher and I are getting too old to pursue them around the settlements, anyway. And, if we both leave this planet permanently…”
Russo refused to look up as she asked, “Why not look for a third among the surrogates anyway? Even if you can’t have children you have a need for one.”
“We could never take a vital resource away from our people for a selfish reason,” Morning Grass explained. “Surrogates are too few in number the way it is.”
“Why not just allow your surrogate to carry children for other couples. Didn’t you say the majority of couples parted with the surrogate after the birth of a child anyway?”
“Surrogates are joined to a household as a stable third while bearing offspring,” Morning Grass replied. “Even though it isn’t permanent, the bond is as exclusive as any human marriage and it’s emotionally intense for all three. Females are attached to the surrogates as deeply as the males. Both mourn the loss of the third once they decide to stop reproducing.”
Morning Grass stood and pulled Russo up to her feet as well. “We could discuss feline physiology and psychology for days, but I need to talk about last night.”
Russo still refused to look Morning Grass directly in the eye.
“Please, Dawn Marie,” Morning Grass pleaded. “Look at me.”
Russo complied, although grudgingly.
“Feline females were engineered to be soldiers. We weren’t meant to bear children like human females do. Undignified as is sounds, we were designed to masturbate into specimen cups alongside the males so our genetic material could be merged later and our progeny cooked in incubators at the convenience of the creators.”
Morning Grass wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “You can’t imagine how inadequate it makes me feel at times. I would give anything to have a womb like you, as well as a birth canal. It would have made my life much simpler. But I don’t have either. I have this goddamned ovipositor.”
Russo listened to Morning Grass pour out her innermost feelings. What she heard wasn’t making her feel less ashamed for what had transpired the previous night.
“Please don’t think I’m bitter,” Morning Grass quickly proclaimed. “I’m not in the least. I am how I am and have never been any different. I’m grateful to exist and I know no other way of life. But, by a whim of those who created me, I’ve been built to penetrate, not acquiesce, so I have desires and needs you may never experience. You may go through your life and never desire to hold another woman close to you, but it’s a yearning I feel almost daily and I never think of it as unnatural, shameful or frightening.” She lowered her head and closed her eyes. “Please forgive me. I can see now that you find my yearning for you to be all three and maybe even more horrible.”
Russo turned pale. “I’m sorry, Morning Grass. I really don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell me the truth. Tell me how you feel.”
“I can’
t,” Russo replied. “It’s complicated.”
At Russo’s reply Morning Grass suddenly burst out laughing. “What did you just say? Did you just tell me your feelings were complicated?”
Russo realized how ridiculous her response must have sounded after listening to Morning Grass describe the difficulties of being a feline female. “I’m sorry. I must sound like a coward.”
“No,” Morning Grass giggled. “You sound like a human female.” She grabbed Russo once more and squeezed her tightly. “I needed some of that silliness just then.”
Russo didn’t laugh. “What is it you want from me, Morning Grass? I’m not sexually attracted to females, human or feline.”
“Thank you for being honest,” Morning Grass said. “You’ve always been so kind and affectionate. I hoped, maybe against hope, that you had true feelings for me. I know that some human females are attracted to both genders.”
“That’s true, but I’m heterosexual. If you were confused about it, you could have asked me.”
“Please forgive me, Dawn Marie. I do understand why you were so upset,” Morning Grass said, now bowing her own head in shame. “I would do anything to take last night back. Please tell me it hasn’t harmed our friendship beyond repair.”
“I can’t say that,” Russo replied. “At least not until I’ve had time to think about it. I’m upset as all Hell right now and I don’t know if I’m angrier at you or myself.”
“What about Teacher,” Morning Grass asked. “Did last night change how you feel about him?”
“Yes. I want him more than ever, now.” Russo shook her head and sighed. “I can’t tell you how contemptible that makes me feel. I’ve loathed myself for months. You and I are practically sisters. He’s yours but I still want him. The only thing that’s kept me sane is the hope the lust would fade or I would find a man of my own who makes me burn the way Teacher does. I was almost certain I had the strength to resist. After last night, I feel irredeemable.”
“Why,” Morning Grass asked. “What terrible thing do you believe you’ve done? Why did you think you needed to hide how you felt about Teacher from me if you considered me to be like a sister? Is that not something sisters would share? I would have understood.”
War Orphans (The Terra Nova Chronicles) Page 27