Stiles pulled the door open and left, shutting it with a slam.
“I don’t understand,” Morning Grass said. “What’s going on?”
Russo wore an embarrassed smile. “Peggy is upset because she just found out I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant? But, how? You told me you weren’t able to get pregnant without harvesting an egg and in vitro fertilization. You aren’t even seeing anyone.”
“The baby belongs to you, Morning Grass,” Russo said. “It’s yours, and Teacher’s. That’s why you were called up from the surface.”
Morning Grass’ mouth fell open. “Mine? How? Why now?”
“We both know the ‘how’,” Russo said. “I can’t even begin to answer the ‘why now’. ‘Shit happens,’ doesn’t seem to be an appropriate response, even though it’s the only one that comes to mind at the moment.”
“I’m so sorry about this, Dawn Marie,” Morning Grass said. “I’ve not only hurt you terribly, I’ve destroyed your career and put your health at risk.” Morning Grass thought back to her first meeting with Russo and the conversation they had about the consequences of reproducing after regeneration therapy. “Have you scheduled the termination? I want to be there with you.”
“I’m not going to terminate,” Russo said. “I’ve already decided.”
“What about the risks of congenital defects,” Morning Grass asked. “You told me I shouldn’t even try to reproduce.”
“I had Colonel Mbenga run all the tests to detect any genetic abnormalities,” Russo said. “They all came back in the good. I can’t explain why, but there are no defects.”
“What about you, Dawn Marie? You aren’t feline. This baby will be half again as large as even the largest human baby and it will develop twice as fast.”
“I’ve weighed the risks,” Russo said. “I’m in better physical shape than ninety-nine percent of human females my age. I can handle this.”
“You can’t have this baby, Dawn Marie. I can’t let you take this risk. You mean too much to me.”
“And you mean too much to me to allow myself to abort the child you’ve hoped for your whole life. You may not get another opportunity, and if you do, the chances are the next child might have some devastating abnormality. It’s worth the risk to me to see this through.”
“You were never meant to assume this great a risk,” Morning Grass said. “It isn’t your responsibility. This is the result of a terrible mistake I made. I have to take responsibility for it myself.”
“I made my own mistakes,” Russo said. “If I had only ordered you to take me to the shuttle we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Even after you did what you did, I could have still avoided this if I had left right then instead of giving myself to Teacher.”
“I know you think of this child as partly yours,” Morning Grass replied, “but, I don’t see it that way, and neither will Teacher. This child is fully feline. You’ll find a human male to have children with, Dawn Marie. I know you will. You’ll have children with him that will truly be yours.”
“Then again, I may not,” Russo said. “I don’t just need to do this for you; I need to do it for myself, too.”
“I can’t let you and Teacher won’t allow it either. We never meant for this to happen. We were both resigned to the fact we would never have children. We had accepted it. I don’t see this as providence and neither will he.”
“I do see it as providence,” Russo said, “and maybe even serendipity. You told me yourself you wanted me to be your stable third. Would you be talking like this if I were a surrogate?”
“If you were a surrogate, you would be feline and there would be no doubt as to whether this was an answer to prayer,” Morning Grass said. “You’re a human with a much frailer physiology. If Teacher and I were to allow you to go through with this and you were harmed, we could never forgive ourselves. To let you do this would be unforgivably selfish on our part.”
Tears suddenly came to Morning Grass’ eyes. “Besides, you told me you had no desire to become our stable third. You told me you didn’t have feelings for me.”
Morning Grass’ words stung Russo. The tears made her feel even more despicable. “I have feelings for you,” Russo said. “They just aren’t romantic. I never said I didn’t want to be a part of your life, or your family.” She reached for the crying feline and put her arms around her waist. “We should contact Teacher immediately. The three of us need to talk.”
“As a third you would be bound by the wishes of the other two,” Morning Grass replied. “If you are truly saying you desire to be joined to us, you must accept that.”
“A can’t say this is what I would have chosen for myself, but it is what it is. I’m carrying your child. I need you both to want it to be born as much as I do.”
“You owe us nothing,” Morning Grass said. “You’ve already done more for us than we can repay. For us to ask more of you is selfish and wicked.”
“You aren’t asking,” Russo said. “I’m offering.”
“It was my selfishness that put you in this position, Dawn Marie. This isn’t an offer. It’s a sacrifice. You’ve sacrificed enough on my account.”
“I also took something that wasn’t rightfully mine to take that evening,” Russo said. “I was just as selfish. I had no business making love to Teacher if I didn’t intend to be your third. I’m only accepting the consequences of that selfishness. I won’t allow an innocent child to pay for my actions.”
Stiles opened the door and calmly asked, “Have the both of you discussed this to your satisfaction?”
Morning Grass snapped to attention and saluted. “Colonel Stiles, I have something to confess. Major Russo was not a willing party to the conception of this child.”
Russo turned red. “Stop it, Morning Grass. That isn’t the way to handle this.”
“At ease, Captain. Silence, Major.” Stiles walked to her chair. “Both of you sit down. Now.”
Russo and Morning Grass both took chairs and remained silent as Stiles stared at them. After a moment of deep contemplation, Stiles put her elbow on the desk, lowered her forehead into her palm and spoke.
“Please finish, Morning Grass. Get straight to the point. Not a sound until she’s done, Dawn Marie. That’s an order.”
Morning Grass cleared her throat. “This pregnancy is the result of my poor judgment and lack of self-control, Colonel. The night I was last in estrus, I had too much to drink.”
“If I only had a dime for every time I heard that,” Stiles said.
Russo stifled her desire to giggle.
“Again, Colonel,” Morning Grass said. “I take full responsibility for what happened that night. Major Russo was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“I’ve heard that before, also,” Stiles replied. “Are you telling me you forced yourself on Major Russo?”
“Yes I am, Colonel,” Morning Grass said. “I took advantage of the major when she was in a compromised state of mind and I am ready to accept the consequences.”
“It’s a little early to talk about consequences, Captain.” Stiles lifted her forehead out of her palm and looked at Morning Grass. “Can we just drop all the formal bullshit for now?”
Stiles turned to Russo while still talking to Morning Grass. “There is an old Earth saying that goes, ‘It takes two to tango’. If you were a man and Dawn Marie’s fallopian tubes hadn’t been removed, we could leave it at that. However, where felines are concerned, it evidently takes three to tango.”
Stiles looked back at Morning Grass who remained silent. “Well? Who is the father? Did he also force himself on the major?”
Morning Grass started to speak a few times, but each time she tried no words would come out.
Stiles turned to Russo. “Can you shed some light on this for me, Dawn Marie?”
“Are you ordering me to name the father?”
“Are you telling me you refuse to?”
“I would prefer not to until I can contact him, myself, Colo
nel.”
“Did he also force himself on you against your will?”
“No,” Russo replied. “He didn’t.”
“But, you don’t deny Morning Grass assaulted you,” Stiles asked.
“I don’t think assault is the term I would use,” Russo answered. “It isn’t a fair characterization.”
“What term would you use, Dawn Marie?” Morning Grass and Stiles asked in unison. Morning Grass silently to herself, Stiles out loud to Russo.
“I don’t know,” Russo answered. “Morning Grass was unable to control herself.”
“Did you at any time make it clear to Morning Grass you did not want to have sexual relations with her,” Stiles asked.
“Yes,” Russo replied.
“Did she stop,” Stiles asked.
Russo cast her eyes toward the ground. “No, Colonel.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this when I suspended you,” Stiles asked. “This might have helped me make some sense of your actions.”
“Because I asked for it,” Russo said. “I knew in the back of my mind that this could happen, no matter how unlikely, and I put myself in that situation anyway.”
“That thinking is horridly medieval,” Stiles said. “Do you truly realize what just came out of your mouth? No means just that. Once you said, ‘No,’ that should’ve been the end of it.”
“Please don’t say anymore, Dawn Marie,” Morning Grass begged. “The colonel is right. This wasn’t your fault.”
“We both know why I was there, Morning Grass,” Russo yelled. “I used you to get something I wanted.”
“I’ve heard enough,” Stiles said. “I want the both of you to be quiet and listen to me.”
Russo and Morning Grass looked at Stiles. Both immediately nodded in capitulation to her demands then sat silently.
“I can’t say exactly what happened that night, but from what you’ve said and didn’t say here today, I have a pretty damned good idea. I also have to re-assess some of the misconceptions I’ve had about your relationship with each other.”
“In the beginning,” Stiles continued, “I had some misgiving about allowing the two of you to bond because I could see codependent traits in both of you leading to serious problems. Sure enough, those fears have come to pass. There is drama all around the pair of you.”
Stiles expression softened along with her voice. “I can also see some things that tell me this is the best thing that could have happened to either of you, present circumstances aside. I shouldn’t say this to either of you in the presence of the other, since I am doing one on one therapy with you both, but what the hell.” She reached into a desk drawer, pulled out a flask of Irish whiskey and poured a large shot into her coffee.
“Morning Grass, I’ve seen changes in you I never imagined possible,” Stiles said after taking a sip of the coffee. “Dawn Marie, I think you’ve found a purpose again. Don’t get me wrong. From the outside, this looks like an unmitigated failure on my part, and I’ll have a hell of a time explaining this to the Forward Command but if I’m going to take my roles as both your commanding officer and your therapist seriously, I need to focus on any positives I can see.”
“Peggy, I’m so sorry,” Russo said. “You don’t have to defend me to the Forward Command. I deserve whatever happens to me.”
“Shut the fuck up, Dawn Marie. This isn’t only about you and your willfulness. It’s about my failure to recognize what the hell was happening on my watch and taking corrective action.” Stiles took another sip of the coffee and put it down quickly when she saw it was too hot for her to take in enough of it for her purposes. She reached for the flask once more, turned it up and took a stiff drink before addressing Russo again. “As soon as I can get you there, you’re back on duty at the feline mission hospital. I’ll have the paperwork done to rescind your suspension by the end of this shift. The Forward Command will sit on it and look for a reason to deny it, but the felines will have none of it. They’re already demanding your reinstatement.”
“Thank you, Peggy,” Russo said. “But, why would you do this for me?”
“Because I want you to trust me,” Stiles answered. “If I had known everything in the first place, I might have done things differently. You obviously didn’t have enough faith in my judgment to think I would do what was best for everyone involved in this mess.”
“As for you, Morning Grass,” Stiles continued. “You’re going to serve out the remainder of Dawn Marie’s suspension. At the very least you withheld evidence of a crime and at the worst you’re guilty of sexual assault. I have to report this. I have no leeway in that regard. You’re confined to quarters until the JAG tells me differently. There is a no tolerance policy on sexual imposition of any type in the CEF, even if your more robust feline constitution makes that a greater challenge.”
“I understand, Colonel,” Morning Grass said.
“I’ll refuse to make a statement,” Russo said. “I won’t allow Morning Grass to be punished for something she can’t control.”
“I suspected as much,” Stiles said. “You’ve become a family and you have to look out for one another. Only you can determine if you want to risk a charge of contempt. The way I see it, you would be more likely to help Morning Grass by coming clean. You’re still on the hook for naming the father. I pray he’s an officer in the CEF. If he’s enlisted or a citizen of the feline nation, things will go from bad to worse for both of you.”
“Is that all, Colonel,” Morning Grass asked.
“Not quite,” Stiles answered. “I want to know what you plan to do about this child.”
“We still have some talking to do, Peggy,” Russo said. “We still need to inform the father and talk with him.”
“You aren’t seriously considering bringing this baby to full term, are you,” Stiles asked. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I’ve told the major I feel this is a very bad idea, Colonel, but she doesn’t agree,” Morning Grass lamented. “Please try to talk some sense into her.”
“I’m afraid I’ll have to leave that up to you and the father,” Stiles said. “As a friend and mentor, I’m not afraid to say this is foolhardy, but as a doctor, I have to bow to my patient’s wishes in the matter. If you want my medical opinion, this pregnancy has no chance of a successful outcome. Either the mother or the fetus will suffer some sort of harm before it’s over.”
“I’m in the best physical shape I’ve ever been,” Russo protested.
“Colonel Mbenga is convinced you can’t take in enough nutrition to keep you both alive,” Stiles said. “He told me you’re already developing gestational diabetes and losing muscle mass. The fetus is growing faster than you can keep up. You’re a small woman. What if this fetus gets too big too fast and causes a rupture in the uterine wall?”
“You and I are both catholic, Peggy,” Russo said with her eyes getting red and wet. “The baby is healthy. You know I have to give it a chance. It happened for a reason.”
Chapter 69
Morning Grass stood outside Russo’s cabin and knocked. “Dawn Marie? It’s me. I’m starving,” she said aloud even though it was unlikely Russo could hear her through the airtight door. She stood for a few more seconds before the door slid into the wall to her left and revealed a freshly showered Russo standing there wrapped in a towel.
“I’m sorry I’m running late for dinner, but I got a hyper-mail from my aunt,” Russo said in a chipper voice. “Come on in and make yourself at home while I finish dressing. I should only be ten minutes or so.”
Morning Grass walked into Russo’s cabin and closed the portal behind her. Russo disappeared into the lavatory and pulled the small wooden door to.
Morning Grass looked for a place to sit as soon as Russo closed the lavatory door. “Please hurry, Dawn Marie. I’ve been stuck in my cabin for over a week,” she called out as she made her way to Russo’s desk and sat down in her chair.
The chair was adjusted for Russo’s height so it would have seemed low even
for an average human. It made Morning Grass feel as if she were sitting in a chair built for a toddler.
Morning Grass was only able to sit with her knees bent up toward her chest a few short minutes before she had to straighten her legs. When she did, her knees disturbed some of the items on Russo’s desk and a holograph cube tumbled into the floor.
Morning Grass rose clumsily from the chair and barely avoided upsetting the other items on the desk. She walked over to the corner of the room where the cube came to rest. She picked it up and inspected it for damage before walking back to the desk and replacing it as near to its original position as she remembered it to be.
Russo heard the commotion. She opened the lavatory door just enough to look through and asked, “Is everything alright out there?”
“I just knocked some things off your desk,” Morning Grass replied. “I’ll try to put them back where you had them.” “Damn this tiny human furniture,” she thought to herself.
Russo smiled and said, “Don’t worry about it. I need to straighten anyway.” She pulled the door to once more, leaving Morning Grass to entertain herself.
Morning Grass went back to inspecting the holograph cube. She found no cracks or chips. She pressed the touchpad on the bottom to make sure the holographs cycled correctly and was about to put it back down when one of the holographic photos caught her attention.
It was a photo of Russo bent down with her arms around a young boy, about eight or nine years old. Both were wearing smiles. Russo’s chin rested upon the boy’s shoulder.
“Dawn Marie,” Morning Grass asked. “Who is the young boy with you in the photo cube?”
Russo opened the door again. She was now dressed, but her hair was still damp and undone. “What are you talking about? There are no photos of me on my desk.”
Morning Grass held up the cube so Russo could see.
“Oh. That isn’t me. It’s a photo of my dad with his aunt. Her name was Mary Margaret. I don’t know much about her. I think she must have died before I was born. I never knew her.”
War Orphans (The Terra Nova Chronicles) Page 31