by Margaret Way
“Yes, I do.” Tali looked up for Olivia’s approval. “It means sad.”
“Kind of, yes—you’re a clever girl.”
“Because I read a lot.” Tali’s voice took on a proud note.
“Then you’re assured of life-long enjoyment, Tali. People who don’t enjoy reading are deprived. What I started to say is, your mother was somehow damaged by life when she was growing up. She’s a person who has hurt other people but she was hurt herself, that’s what makes life difficult for her. We must feel sorry for her, Tali. I’m sure in her own way she loves you.”
“No, she doesn’t,” Tali contradicted flatly but not rudely. “It’s all right, Livvy. I don’t mind. Daddy loves me. Nona loves me. You love me and I love you so much. Danny loves me, too. He thinks I’m the smartest kid he knows. By the way he wants me to come over this afternoon. Can I? Just for a while. His mum can pick me up—she said so.”
“I’ll have a little word with his mother first,” Olivia said.
“That’s okay.” Tali looked up at Olivia with a big smile. “They really like me over there. Mrs. Nelson’s little boy Steven likes me, too. He’s not as interesting as Danny and he can’t do sums in his head like me. She’s a nice lady, Mrs. Nelson and she’s sweet on Daddy every time she sees him she goes pink. How did she get that scar on her face? She’s still pretty.”
“It was an accident, Tali. Don’t mention it to Steven. It might upset him.”
“Oh, I won’t. It’s just us two. Do you think Mr. Carlo will come and see me? I really liked his face and he spoke to me so nicely.”
“He liked you, too, Tali,” Olivia said quietly. “Carlo is his Christian name. His surname is De Luca. He comes from an Italian family.”
“Like me,” Tali said happily. “The best thing is he has lovely blue eyes like Daddy and a really nice voice. He’s not as handsome as Daddy, though—no one is—but he’s pretty nice all the same. Will you speak to Danny’s mother now, Livvy? Danny’s great at thinking up new games. I didn’t like to ask you when my mother was here.”
With a friend like Danny who needed mothers? Olivia lamented. Hand in hand with Tali she walked to the phone. It would be much easier to talk to Jason if Tali weren’t around. She couldn’t possibly let Jason go to a meeting with Carlo De Luca not knowing what lay in store for him.
Jason, my love! Her heart ached for the inescapable loss that surely confronted him for the what might have been for the two of them, the halcyon days they had surely enjoyed. It ached for her own gullibility. For Jason’s decision to do the right thing to stand by damaged little Megan Duffy. It was all written. Seven years lost. But Tali graced their lives.
Except Tali was Carlo De Luca’s child.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE phone rang. Olivia ran to it thinking it might be Jason. Instead it was Carlo’s fiancée Leanne calling to thank her for a wonderful evening. She sounded happy and relaxed—obviously Carlo at that point hadn’t confided in her. Olivia took other thank-you calls. agreeing to meet her friend Lucy for lunch in town on Wednesday.
“I was thrilled to see you and Jason on much better terms,” Lucy confided. “Everyone is. That’s a really cute little kid! How could Megan ever give her up? So much for motherly love! Anyway see you Wednesday, Livvy. Can’t wait!”
When Jason hadn’t returned by three o’clock Olivia started to worry. She’d worked out he’d be back by two at the latest. Had some problem cropped up? Had Megan at the last moment refused to go? Was she going to make one last attempt to get more money? Megan had toughened considerably over the years. Do I really know who I’m dealing with here? Olivia thought. It was possible Megan had a boyfriend in tow. A co-conspirator. It was a tense unhappy situation.
To her relief Jason drove up ten minutes later.
She ran down the steps to meet him. “I was so worried. Where did you get to?”
Jason got out of the car, tall wide shouldered, lean hipped, vibrantly handsome in a simple white T-shirt and jeans. “We had to pick up Megan’s things first,” he explained. “She wanted something to eat—that took the best part of an hour—then I dropped her at the bus terminal. She didn’t want to spend extra money on a plane ticket. I waited for her to get on. By that time she was over a serious temper tantrum and down to the scowling sulks. Poor Megan! She’s her own worst enemy. No matter what you do for her it’s never enough.”
“I don’t care as long as she never comes back.”
“Don’t count on it,” Jason said. “If there’s a good side to Megan I haven’t seen it. Let’s go inside, I could do with a long cold beer.” He put his arm around her waist steering her towards the house. “Where’s Tali?”
She rested her head momentarily against his shoulder. “She wanted to go over to Danny’s place for a couple of hours. I said she could. Danny’s sister picked her up. She seemed quite disappointed you weren’t around.”
“Sometimes a crush can be a bit of an affliction,” Jason said. “I hope Tali’s not going to spill the beans about her mother turning up.”
Olivia’s smile was rueful. “As this point in her young life spilling the beans is second nature to Tali. Other children clam up but Tali reveals all.”
“That’s Nona,” Jason sighed. “Much as I love my grandmother I can’t find a cure for her dramatic behaviour. Tali’s picked it up.”
“You sit here in the cool,” Olivia said when they arrived on the terrace. “I’ll get your drink. I might even join you. It’s been quite a day.”
“You can say that again!” Jason groaned loudly, pulling out a wicker chair and sinking into it. “If Tali won’t be home for another hour or two I’ll just have to content myself with making love to you.” He flashed her an all-encompassing glance. “Do you realize how wonderful it was to fall asleep with my arms around you?”
She blushed at the seductive note in his voice. “I didn’t think we had much sleep, did we?”
“Call it a little shut-eye. It was the most truly joyous experiences of my life. I love you, Liv—your beautiful face, your beautiful body and above all your beautiful soul. Speaking of which—” he suddenly sat up straight “—there’s something going on in your soul. What is it?”
For a moment her guard was down. Love and anguish for him showed in her eyes. “There’s something we need to talk about, Jason.”
His blue eyes narrowed. “So serious! You’re not going to tell me you’re going to leave me again? Not after last night. You couldn’t!”
“That’s not it, Jason,” she said. Tension showed in every line of her body.
“That’s a relief! Then it’s got to do with Tali?” He made a guess.
Olivia turned away. “I’ll get you your drink then we can talk.”
“I think we better talk right away.” Jason frowned. “What is it that’s troubling you so deeply, Liv? You think there’s going to be more upset for me? Let me reassure you, I’m never going to let anyone wreck our lives again.” He stood up, drawing her into a protective embrace, resting his chin on the top of her dark silky hair.
“Oh, Jason!” The tears, unbidden, started to roll down her cheeks.
He drew back in consternation. “Is it so awful? Didn’t I tell you the worst thing that could happen to us has already happened. You love me don’t you?”
“I’ve never stopped loving you.” She lifted her drowning eyes to him. “It’s because I love you so much I dread to hurt you.”
“Liv, if I’ve got you and you’ve got me what else can harm us?”
There was no escape. She pressed a finger to his lips so he wouldn’t interrupt her. “I wish I weren’t the one to have to tell you this, Jason, but there’s nobody else who can do it.”
“Then let it out!” His expression darkened. “Don’t be afraid. I think I know what you’re going to tell me anyway.” In a flash of precognition he made the quantum leap. Maybe it was something in Olivia’s frightened eyes. She just had that look. “Tali may not be my daughter?” Even as he said it h
e tried to push the thought away.
“I’m so sorry, Jason.” Olivia’s tone was low, elegiac.
“But I raised her!” he cried, his face contorting in pain. “I love her. I thought she had my blue eyes. What a fool! Nona told me once she didn’t. Was she trying to warn me?” He shook his head as if to clear it.
“Megan lied to you, Jason. She knew all along who Tali’s father was. You didn’t have sex with her that night—she finally confessed. I should have trusted you. I have to accept part of the blame for all this terrible mess.”
“Who is Tali’s father?” Jason’s voice rasped.
“Think about the blue eyes.” Olivia tried to get her voice under control. “The uncanny blue eyes.” She tightened her arms around him like a shield.
“Not De Luca,” he said dully, all colour leaching out of his striking face.
“He recognised her at once.”
“As you did. You knew. Why have you waited until now to tell me?”
She took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. “Please don’t condemn me, Jason. I couldn’t think what to do. It’s such an emotional dilemma. I knew the grief it would cause you. And Tali.”
“Yes, Tali,” he said harshly, releasing her and turning away. “Happy, happy Christmas. So don’t stop, Liv. Go on. You’re evidently a lot smarter than I am. Carlo recognised his daughter. Now he wants her. Is that right?”
Olivia gave him a look full of sympathy. “Yes, Jason, he does. But can’t you understand that?” Her whole body was trembling at the betrayal in his eyes.
“So you had to tell me?”
“Yes.” She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. “Carlo wants us to meet. I couldn’t let you walk into any meeting without knowing what was going to confront you.”
“I can always count on you, Liv,” he said bitterly. “Just out of curiosity how do you feel about this?’
“I don’t know what you mean,” she said, falteringly.
“Well, you wouldn’t have to contend with a ready made step-daughter,” he lashed out.
That wounded her deeply even though she knew he was going through hell. “I’m going to forget you said that, Jason, though I don’t know how you could have said it. Tali is the dearest child. I’ve found it very easy to take her into my heart. I feel devastated for both of you.”
“Well, I’ve known Tali a lot longer than you have,” he retorted with uncharacteristic bitterness. “I’ve reared her as my daughter. I won’t accept she’s not until I’m given positive proof. I don’t want to see De Luca, either, until he has that proof.”
“And when he has it?” Olivia asked in a kind of despair.
“I can’t cope with that yet, Olivia,” Jason said. “Probably I’ll never be able to cope with it. But Tali is the main concern in all this. How can she be uprooted? Doesn’t he care?”
“He does care, Jason,” Olivia said quietly. “Carlo, too, was a victim. He was robbed of the early years of Tali’s life. He missed her entry into the world. He missed her first steps, her first words. He loves her already. He’s her father. He identified with her wholly. He recognized her on sight.”
“Tell me how?” Jason’s blue eyes were scornful of that.
“She’s his flesh and blood,” Olivia said simply.
“That’s all that matters then, is it?” he asked bitterly, looking so devastated Olivia was filled with compassion.
“I understand how you feel, Jason.” She stared at him out of her black fringed eyes. “I can see you feel I somehow betrayed you. I didn’t. I recognised how painful the whole situation is. The one who betrayed you was Megan Duffy.”
“So now we know why she went away with so little.” He gave a bleak laugh. “She was frightened to stay and face the music.”
“I think she was most frightened of Bella De Luca.”
“And Tali knows nothing?” Jason dropped his head into his hands.
“Need you ask?”
He looked up. “What time did you say she had to be back here?”
“Half past four.” Olivia told him quietly, thinking the cost was going to be much higher than she thought.
Jason started down the steps, speaking as he went. “I’ll pick her up and go home. I need time to think.”
The most extraordinary aspect to what turned out to be a series of truly harrowing meetings and discussions that left Olivia utterly drained and Jason looking as though he was in the middle of a living nightmare was the way Tali took the whole business of her true paternity in her stride.
“Now I can have two daddies,” she said excitedly, climbing onto Jason’s knee. “It’ll be fun. I’m your little girl and Carlo’s little girl.”
“I think you’re missing what it all means, Tali,” Jason told her gently. “It means you’ll be going to live with Carlo and Leanne after they get married which is pretty soon. March, three short months.” Six had been suggested for a gradual transition.
“Oh, I won’t live with them,” Tali said, shaking her head. “I’ll live with you and Livvy. You’re going to get married, too, aren’t you? I’ll be flower girl.”
Olivia averted her head, staring out over the flood lit garden. Jason looked as though nothing could be further from his mind than getting married.
“Of course I’d like to go and stay with Carlo and Leanne,” Tali informed them looking from Jason to Olivia then back again as if seeking their permission. “Carlo said he’s going to buy a nice big house for us. He’s going to buy books and CDs and videos and a bike. He thinks I’m smart enough to learn how to use a computer.”
“Lots of things to make you happy,” Jason said, smoothing her curls. “How do you get on with Carlo’s family? His mother and father and his sister, Gina?”
“Great!” Tali couldn’t have been more enthusiastic. “They’re Italian just like me. Aunty Gina showed me pictures of herself when she was a little girl—it could have been me. It’s really strange but Carlo’s mama is a lot like Nona. She throws her hands around all the time. I like her. She started to cry when she saw me. I said, it’s okay, it’s okay. She said she’ll never forgive my mother.”
“That makes two of us,” Jason said.
“I think she’s going to make it through this,” Jason remarked much later, when Tali was tucked in bed and they were sitting in the starry cool of the loggia. “Children are hugely adaptable,” he added with wry sadness.
“Thank goodness for that!” Olivia breathed, thinking at the end of the day Tali mattered most. “The difficulty is she thinks she’s going to live here, Jason,” she added quietly.
“She has a family now, Liv,” Jason said, trying to focus on that all important point. “They’re ready to love her.”
Olivia felt heartbroken for him. “They know what you’ve done for her, Jason,” she said loyally. “They’re not cruel people. They won’t take her out of your life.”
“I don’t give a damn what they do.” Jason shrugged dejectedly and tossed back a stiff whiskey. “I had a daughter. Now I don’t.”
“It sounds like you believe you won’t have another?” She was near to breaking point.
It must have sounded in her voice because Jason reacted swiftly. “Liv, darling, forgive me.” Love for her cut through his anguish. He cherished Olivia. He couldn’t have gotten through this nightmare without her. Jason went to her, going down on one knee before her. He stared into her face, the moonlight caught in her satin textured skin. “You couldn’t have been more supportive when my mood has been so down. I’ve been taking that for granted. Forgive me, it’s the shock and the most peculiar sense of disorientation. It’s not the end of the world. It can’t be. Tali is going to be okay, Carlo is her father, and blood binds them. Already he loves her and so does his family, Tali’s family. I was the adoptive parent who got to look after her for a while.”
Tears welled into Olivia’s eyes. “You did a beautiful job, Jason. You took on the role of father and mother. Because of you Tali is a happy little girl. S
he’ll continue to be a happy little girl, we’ll all see to it.”
“Yes.” Jason murmured an agreement, thinking the pain would never pass. “We all love her. We just have to approach this extraordinary situation with Tali’s best interests at heart. For a while, I guess, she’ll have two families. Rather like a marriage breakup,” he added wryly. “She’ll stay with us. She’ll stay with Carlo and Leanne. We’ll all take care she’s not shuttled back and forth. She’s young enough to accept this situation without too much trauma I hope. Luckily she’s got a fine feel for drama. I couldn’t bear to see her unhappy.”
“At least we know she took to Carlo on sight.” Olivia tried to comfort him. “And he to her.”
“The parental bond has swept everything else away,” Jason mused. “It would have been too dreadful given Megan’s abandonment if Carlo hadn’t wanted her. Tali couldn’t grow up knowing she had two parents so badly flawed.”
“No.” The word rose to Olivia’s throat. “We have to think of future repercussions. A sense of identity is very important—Tali has to know who she is.”
“While I have to play the stoic.” Jason settled back into the armchair beside her. “My duty seems pretty clear-cut. I have to return Tali to her rightful father.”
Ever sensitive to his pain, Olivia gently touched his arm. “That won’t stop her loving you, Jason, or you her. Tali told me she actually had two fathers—she seemed very proud of it…two grandmothers, a brand new grandfather called Salvatore—Salvatore with the big tummy—she has an aunt, cousins, handsome, vital people, all ready to love her. Carlo will never let her go. Any parent will understand that.”
Jason’s brow creased. “Understanding is one thing, acceptance takes time. I’m not totally unhappy letting Tali go to them. They are her family. They’re in no way to blame. Megan caused all the traumas—she can’t have a heart. Don’t worry, Liv.” He tried to smile. “I’ll learn to live with this, just give me a little time. I can live with anything as long as I have you.” He took Olivia’s hands in his, kissing the tips of her fingers. “I want children, our children, that was the way it was meant to be, that was what we planned. Neither of us had much insight into what Megan was really like. Anyway, let’s drop Megan, hopefully forever. I love you, Liv. How could you doubt it?”