by Heather Lyn
“I can’t leave her,” I murmur, leaning over to place a gentle kiss to the back of her hand.
“Levi...”
“Okay.” Reluctantly, I stand, bending over to kiss Emmy’s forehead, whispering to her for a moment before I go to leave.
“I’m not kicking you out, Levi. Cal and I are so grateful for you, for everything you’ve done for our little girl. But I just need a moment with her.”
“Understood, sir. I’ll be back in a couple hours, okay? Call me right away if there’s any change, please?”
“You know I will, son.”
Giving him a quick hug, I take one final look at my girl before turning around and leaving them alone. I walk the several feet to the waiting area, finding my parents sitting there still. Mom jumps up when she sees me, rushing over to pull me into her arms.
“How is she?” she whispers, voice thick with emotion.
“She looks terrible,” I mutter, clinging to my mom. Dad comes over and puts his arms around us, giving us both the comfort we need. I keep my emotions in check, pulling away after a few minutes.
“Elliott is gonna sit with her a while, so I’m gonna go home, see Lily. I need my daughter right now,” I say.
Mom nods and they follow me from the hospital. We all drove over together in Dad’s SUV, so he drives us back to their house. When we pull in the driveway, I take a deep breath and we head inside.
Sydney and Caden are sitting at the kitchen table with Lily, eating peanut butter sandwiches and coloring pictures. Lily laughs when she sees me, and I bend down next to where she’s sitting and pull her small body into my arms.
“Hey, Lily bug,” I say, pulling back to give her a kiss.
“Hi Daddy. Where did you go?”
I take another deep breath and blow it out.
“I went to see Emmy, sweetheart.”
Her eyes get huge and I watch them fill with tears, her smile wide and bright.
“You sawed Emmy? Where, Daddy? I want to go!”
“She’s in the hospital where the doctors are taking good care of her, okay? You can see her when she comes home.”
“When, Daddy? I want to see her! I miss her so so so much.”
“I know, baby. I’ve missed her too. But she needs medicine and sleep, so when she comes home she’s feeling better, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.” Kissing me on the cheek, Lily climbs into her chair, going back to her food and drawing.
Sydney comes to give me a fierce hug and wipes a few stray tears.
“I’m so happy she’s okay, Levi.”
“I don’t know about okay, but she’s alive, Syd.”
“You guys will get through this.”
“I hope so.”
Emmy is alive, yes. She’s safe. I just hope my sister is right.
I hope she’s okay.
CHAPTER 22
Emerson
WAKING SLOWLY, THE FIRST thing that registers is the light. It’s so bright. And my head feels like it weighs twenty pounds. Blinking until everything comes into focus, I look around the room, realizing I’m in a hospital. Glancing down, I see the wires in my arm and the monitors next to me, quietly beeping. I’m looking toward the windows when I turn my head and find my father sitting next to me, staring down at my hand he has between his.
“Daddy?” I rasp, trying to clear the frog in my throat. His head whips up and I watch tears silently track down his cheeks.
“Hey, honey. Oh, you have no idea how good it is to see you.” Standing up, he wipes away the tears and kisses my forehead.
“How long?” I ask, head hurting with every word.
“How long what, Emmy girl?”
“Since they came,” I whisper, finding it easier to get the words out.
Dad taps at his phone for a second and then sits again, taking my hand.
“You were gone three days, and you’ve been here for around ten hours. You’ve been asleep most of that time. Are you hurting? Do you need anything?”
I carefully shake my head as best as I can manage, then motion to the water pitcher. My mouth feels like it’s filled with cotton, and when he puts the straw between my lips, I taste the most heavenly cold water imaginable. After a couple sips, he takes it away, slowing me down.
“Where is Levi?” I manage to get out. My throat hurts so bad.
“He went home to see Lily, get some food. He’s been here the whole time. I just texted him and he’s already on his way back here. Soon, Emmy. I promise.”
“Is he okay?”
Dad shakes his head, emotion crossing his face. “No. He’s been an absolute wreck, Emmy. I hope you know how much that man loves you.”
“I love him too.”
Smiling, Dad leans back in his chair, telling me to rest. I do as he says and close my eyes, falling back to sleep.
I have no idea how long I slept for, but this time when I wake up, I find the most beautiful blue eyes looking back at me. I’m immediately overcome with emotion. Levi stands from the chair and sits on the bed next to me, his smile not quite meeting his eyes.
“Levi,” I whisper, fighting against the tears threatening to spill.
“Fuck, it’s so good to hear you say my name, Em.” Gently, he cups my face in his rough hands, softly stroking his thumbs over my cheeks.
“I love you,” I say, needing him to know. Nothing else matters to me.
“I love you too, baby.”
Nodding, I look down at my hands, needing to compose myself.
“How is Lily?” I ask.
“She’s okay. She’s safe, thanks to you. I found her, Em.”
Biting my bottom lip, I nod again and the flood of emotions rises, pulling me under. Dropping my head, I begin to sob, my chest on fire. Levi pulls me into his arms as carefully as he can and I tuck my face into his neck, fisting his shirt in my battered hands, not caring how much it hurts the bruises on my face.
“Shh, baby. It’s okay. You’re okay. I have you, Em. You’re safe.”
Rocking me back and forth on the hospital bed, Levi allows me to fall completely apart. Lily is okay. As painful as this has been, and as much as I’m hurting, it was all worth it. It meant something.
I kept Lily safe.
“Thank you,” he whispers, kissing me gently on the forehead. I give him a tiny smile and then pull away from him, completely exhausted.
“I love you,” I say softly, his thumb running down the side of my face.
“I think you mentioned that,” he jokes, lightening the mood.
“Yeah, I know. But I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to tell you again, so I’m going to repeat it forever, okay?”
“Okay,” he mumbles, placing the softest kiss possible to my lips. “And for the record? I love you just as much, okay. Maybe even more after what you did for my daughter.”
“Our daughter,” I say, my eyes closing against my will. My next scheduled dose of medicine must have kicked in, and as much as I don’t want to, I fall asleep, Levi whispering to me the entire time. And for the first time since this ordeal began, I sleep peacefully.
“So, you may still have a lingering headache for the next few days, but that’s to be expected with such a severe concussion. Your ribs will be sore for a few weeks and it’ll take time for the bruises to fade, but overall, you’re a very lucky woman. I’ll send you home with prescriptions for pain medication, but if you think you can get away with just ibuprofen, that’s what you should take first. Any questions?”
Two days later, the doctor is giving me my discharge papers and orders. Levi is standing next to the bed with a wheelchair, all ready to go. I was finally able to get showered this morning, and even though he wanted to help me, I asked him to leave. When I realized the magnitude of my injuries, I couldn’t let him anywhere near me.
I’m sickened by how I look. Especially the hand-sized bruises on my inner thighs. They told me my rape kit came back negative, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t try. Memories have been rushing back at me in chunks, and
the doctor doesn’t have to tell me how lucky I am. There is zero doubt in my mind that if they hadn’t fucked up and Dana hadn’t opened her mouth, I’d be dead right now. And no matter how hard I try, that’s the worst thing for me.
I shake the doctor’s hand, taking the papers he hands me. Dressed in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings, I carefully get up from the bed and settle myself into the wheelchair.
Levi runs his hands up and down my arms before kissing my head.
“Ready to get home, baby?”
“Yeah.”
Making our way down, I close my eyes and tell myself just to breathe. I’m so glad that we aren’t at the local hospital; I don’t think I could bear my coworkers seeing me like this. My anxiety is starting to rise about going back to the place this all started, but I’m ready to see our families, get Lily in my arms. I have missed that girl something fierce.
When we reach the hospital entrance, Levi leaves me at the sidewalk, going to grab his truck. In just a short few minutes, he’s pulling up in front of me. Getting out, he jogs around the hood and helps me inside, taking extra precautions to make sure I’m okay. When he climbs back in, he buckles up and then turns to look at me.
“What?” I ask, buckling my own seat belt.
“I just can’t believe you’re with me.”
“Levi.”
“You have no idea what this has been like for me, for your family. Hell, my family. Em, it’s been an absolute fucking nightmare, babe. Every day was a struggle, and I had to force myself to keep going on, not knowing where you were, if you were okay. If you needed me...”
Breaking off, he turns to look out the other window, his throat working furiously.
“Hey, I’m right here, Levi. I’m okay.”
Undoing my buckle, I push the arm rest back so the third seat is exposed and slide over, resting my head on his shoulder, linking my arm with his. He doesn’t say anything, just rest a hand on my upper thigh.
“I might need you to remind me that for a while, okay?”
“As long as you need it,” I whisper, picking up the hand on my leg and kissing the back of it. We sit in silence for another minute more, and then he puts his truck into gear, pulling onto the road. I never move back to my seat, and he never asks me to.
As we pull into the driveway, my palms are sweaty and I’m a bucket of nerves. There are “welcome home” posters all over the deck, and my eyes fill with tears. Levi shuts off the truck and then turns to look down at me.
“Welcome home, baby,” he murmurs, taking my lips in a soft kiss.
“You guys did all this for me?”
“Why don’t you come see, Em?”
Carefully getting down, I take his hand as he guides me inside. Stepping into the front hallway, I shut my eyes, memories threatening to drag me down.
“Breathe, Em. It’s just us. Nobody but us, baby. You’re safe.”
Draping his arm over my shoulders, Levi takes us into the kitchen. Turning toward the dining room, I’m overcome with happiness. His parents, my parents, and his siblings are standing in front of the table, Lily in front of them with a sign that says “Welcome Home, Emmy.”
Brushing a stray tear away, I give them the biggest smile I can imagine.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Caden strides forward first, carefully pulling me into the tightest hug I can handle. When he moves away, he grabs my face and kisses my forehead.
“Welcome home, Em.”
In the short time that I’ve been dating his brother, I’ve grown incredibly close to Caden. He came to see me every day in the hospital, and he even helped Levi get me through one of my nightmares there. He’s an amazing man, much like his brother.
Lily looks nervous, and her eyes keep darting between me and her father. Levi nods at her and she comes running at me, tiny cries coming out of her. Lily flings herself into my arms, and even though a sharp pain pierces my chest, I still pick her up, her face pressed against my shoulder. Brushing her soft hair back, I look down into her little face and see tearstains on her cheeks.
“We’ll be right back,” I say to the others, and I carry Lily into the living room so we can have some privacy. I take a deep breath through the pain and sit on the couch with her cradled on my lap.
“Oh, sweetie pie. What’s the matter?”
“I missed you so much,” she sniffles, sitting up so we’re nose to nose.
“I missed you too, Lily. But I’m okay, I promise. I know my face looks funny, but it’s just temporary. I’m still the same old Emmy, okay?”
“Okay. Can I make it all better?” Lily leans forward and kisses the end of my nose.
“Thank you, baby. I feel much better now,” I say, giving her my biggest smile.
“Good.”
“Thank you for being so brave, Lily. Your daddy and I are so proud of you.”
“I tried, Emmy. I was scared, but I didn’t come out for anyone but Daddy.”
“Good girl.” Cupping the back of her head, I lean back as far as I can and hold her to me, breathing in her sweet shampoo, so happy to have her back in my arms.
“Daddy missed you too.”
“I know. I missed him too.”
“I heard him talking to you at night. He cried too. It made me sad. I don’t like Daddy like that. He’s supposed to be silly. Daddy was brave, and I tried to be brave liked him.”
Letting a few tears trickle down my own cheeks, I stroke her hair and pull her even closer to me. My heart aches and it feels like it could break open. Imagining what everyone went through, hearing about my strong man breaking, it kills me. I can’t stand the thought of Levi crying for me, or grieving what he thought was the loss of me.
But then, instead of getting more upset, I get angry. And only one thought comes to mind.
Fuck you, Dana. Rot in hell.
It’s pitch dark. Whipping my head around, I search for anybody, anything. When I finally find a sliver of light, I race toward it, only to come face-to-face with Mark. Sitting in the darkness, he grins, making my stomach churn and my pulse race.
“Be a good girl and come do your job. A whore’s job is to sit on my dick whenever I want. Now get over here.”
“No.”
Wrong answer.
Leaning over the side of his chair, he waves a black gun is in my face, my throat swelling as I stare down the barrel.
“You can either suck my cock or you can suck this. Your choice, princess.”
Frantically, I shake my head, images of everyone I love running through it. I feel so lost and I start crying, refusing to make a decision.
“Have it your way, then.”
My eyes widen as Mark shoves the gun in my mouth, the deafening sound of my life ending echoing around the empty room.
Gasping for breath, I shoot up in bed, a sob tearing from my throat. Struggling to push the blankets away, my arms are grabbed and I scream, trying to get away.
“Emmy, it’s me baby. Em! It’s Levi. Look at me.”
My hand connects with his cheek, the slap loud and shrill, but he doesn’t falter. Levi grabs my face with one hand, the other slapping the wall to hit the light switch, bathing the room in a soft glow. The light forces me to open my eyes and I take in my surroundings.
The bed is disheveled, and Levi is sitting in front of me, wearing his boxer briefs and a gray T-shirt. My heart hurts when I see the bright red mark on his face, and my hands shake.
“Baby,” Levi whispers, patting his lap, inviting me to come to him. But the image just brings back repugnant memories and I race for the bathroom. As my stomach churns and I heave into the commode, Levi pulls my hair back, gently rubbing my back to soothe me.
“Just let me go,” I say, voice so quiet I can barely hear it over the roaring in my ears.
“I can’t,” he tells me, hand moving up and down.
“I should’ve just died. It would be so much easier. I don’t want to hurt anymore, Levi. Take the pain away.”
Wiping my mo
uth, I turn to him, not caring that I haven’t brushed my teeth and I’m disgusting as I bury my face in his chest, hot cheek against the cool material of his shirt. Levi picks me up to carry me back to bed. Laying me down, he pulls me against him and tugs the blanket over us.
“It wouldn’t have been easier. We’re gonna get through this, baby. I’m not letting you go. I can’t. I love you too much. I’m so grateful you fought and came home to us. I love you, Em. This time we’ll fight together. Take my hand and let me come with you into the dark, and I promise to be your light.”
Crying softly, I rest my head in the crook of his neck while Levi continues whispering to me. Between his sweet words and his soothing hands, I fall back to sleep.
It doesn’t last long before I’m back in the dark.
But this time, Levi is with me, just like he promised.
CHAPTER 23
One Month Later
Levi
I WISH I COULD say that life is back to normal, but it isn’t. Em is struggling, and I’m at a complete loss on how to help her. Nightmares still plague her weekly, and she refuses to talk to anyone. I’ve told her countless times that seeing a therapist doesn’t mean she’s weak, but she won’t hear it. The only time she seems calm is when we’re alone in bed, just lying together and watching a movie. But then we go to sleep and she wakes up, spending the rest of the night awake. She’s exhausted, and it’s starting to take a toll on me.
I was off work for three weeks. I went back last week, and it’s causing problems. Emmy texts me around the clock, and every time the security system alerts her that someone is close by, she hides in the bedroom and calls me to come home and check the house before she comes out. I do it all without hesitation, and I always will. She’s my girl and I love her, but she needs help. She refuses to talk about what happened, and while we know bits and pieces of what went on, until Emmy speaks fully about it we won’t know the details.
I know I’m a selfish bastard for it, but I miss the Emmy I fell in love with. The fearless, brave girl who didn’t let anything hold her back. Em is a shell of who she was, and by not confronting her trauma, she’ll never be her old self. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t get her back from hell only to lose her to herself. I refuse.