by Lisa Carter
Her cheeks warmed, recalling Maria’s wish for her. She couldn’t help but wonder what decision Ryan had made about his future. And if it was a future that included her.
* * *
On the last day before winter break, Ryan informed his fifth graders that a new teacher would be taking his place when they returned to school.
There were outcries of dismay. Izzie appeared teary-eyed. Max looked like he wanted to throw something.
“I want everyone to promise me that you’ll give the new teacher the respect you’ve given me.”
Matt Evans raised his hand. “You’ve been the best teacher I ever had, Mr. Savage.”
Ryan choked up. “I look forward to hearing great things in the future about what each of you will do to make this world a better place.”
There were grudging nods.
He cleared his throat. “I hope you’ll return in January with an open heart and mind. Ready to learn.” He swallowed. “And make your new teacher as proud of you as I am.”
At the end of the day, there were hugs, a quick, fierce one from Max. Ryan turned off the lights and closed the door to his classroom for the last time. How much he’d learned in the last three years. About himself, most of all.
What he’d discovered—he still loved science, but he loved bringing science alive to kids more. He loved the relationships he’d formed with the children. He loved being a positive role model and influence for good.
He adjusted his glasses. And who would’ve guessed? He even loved lunch duty.
But about to regain his fondest dream, why were these feelings happening between him and Anna? Perhaps Tessa was right. Was the research job his fondest dream? Maybe his dream had changed.
If he didn’t take the directorship of the at-risk program, this would be the last afternoon he’d have with Maria, Oscar and Zander. What a privilege it had been to become part of their lives.
And his heart wrenched at the prospect of parting from them. As for Anna? He tried not to contemplate what it would mean to walk away from her for good.
Brow puckered, she met him outside the front office. “We’ve got a problem. Zander took the regular bus home.”
Ryan frowned. “But why? He knows about the after-school reward.”
She crossed her arms over her coat. “Someone told him you weren’t coming back to school after Christmas.”
“I won’t return to fifth grade, but I haven’t made a definite decision about the at-risk program yet.”
Her eyes glinted. “Well, someone beat you to it.”
Ryan raked his hand over his head, dislodging his glasses. “Do Maria and Oscar know?”
“I don’t think so.”
Ryan heaved a sigh. “How did this happen?”
How had life become so complicated? He should have foreseen this. The elementary school was a microcosm of small-town Kiptohanock.
“I shouldn’t have lectured you about coming clean with your parents when I haven’t been able to do the same with the kids.”
Her face gentled. “Maybe there’s a reason you held back. A good reason.”
Ryan shook his head. “I should’ve been up-front from the beginning. I may have ruined everything with him.”
“I told Agnes I’d meet her at Mr. Keller’s. The activity bus should be arriving soon. What are you going to do?”
He grimaced. “I’m going to his house to talk to him.”
Only when he parked outside Zander’s address did he remember the bus driver’s warning. About law enforcement and going to this neighborhood alone. It didn’t matter, though. He got out of his car.
A man about his age rose from the stoop in front of Zander’s unit. “What do you want?”
“My name is Ryan Savage.” He extended his hand. “Are you Zander’s uncle? I’ve been hoping to meet you.”
“Get lost,” the man sneered.
Tensing, Ryan dropped his hand. “Look, I really need to talk to Zander.”
Broadening his massive chest, the man clenched his fists. “You don’t belong here.”
Ryan set his jaw. He had to fix this. He had to make sure Zander was okay. Even if he had to go through Zander’s uncle to find the little boy. An uncle with muscled arms the size of small trees at the Savage Farm.
Pushing back his shoulders, Ryan stood his ground. “I’m not leaving until I talk to Zander and make sure he’s all right.”
“Why do you think the boy is not all right?” the man snarled.
An older lady with tightly wound gray braids shuffled out. “Who you be?” Her dark eyes reminded Ryan of the third grader. Her voice had a Caribbean lilt to it.
“I’m Zander’s teacher in the after-school program.”
The man jerked his thumb at Ryan. “Are you the one who taught him to make the racket?”
He nodded. “That was me.”
“Tapping, Antoine.” The old lady planted her hands on her ample hips. “De boy calls it tapping, and it has helped him not be angry. Maybe you should tap, too.”
Antoine raised his chin. “So what you do want with him now, Savage? Is he in trouble? What did he do?”
Ryan shook his head. “He’s not in trouble. Not at all.” He pushed at his glasses. “I’m the one in trouble. He found out something today I should’ve told him first.”
Antoine’s eyes beaded. “So you made him cry and—”
“Zander’s crying?” Ryan placed his foot on the bottom step. “If I could explain—”
Antoine stepped between him and the door.
“My son be protective of de boy.” The older lady made a shooing motion at the man. “Dis be okay, Antoine. I tink Zander should talk to him.”
“Just one more man who’s let Zander down.” Antoine’s face resembled carved stone, but he moved aside. “Like me.”
She patted Antoine’s arm as Ryan moved past. “Dat no’ your fault, my son. De Lord say tings be better one day. We hang on and believe.”
Antoine snorted. “When has that ever worked for us, Mama?”
The lady ushered Ryan into the small living unit. A kitchen, a bathroom and two bedrooms. Antoine hovered outside.
“Zander.” The woman gestured at a closed door. “He upset today.”
“I’m so sorry for hurting him, Mrs. Benoit. I never meant...”
“You very important to him.” Her eyes drifted to the door. “Dis be hard for Antoine, too. He always important to Zander before...” Her gaze dropped. “Until he get hurt on the job.” Her eyes gleamed. “And I be sick.”
Ryan should’ve made a home visit within the first few days of Zander joining his team. Perhaps he or the Parks could have helped the family long before now. “When he missed one of our reward outings, Zander told me that he was helping you.”
Her chin lifted. “He be good boy. Antoine had chance to work dat night. And Zander made de choice to miss de milkshake to take care of me.”
Ryan smiled. “Zander is a very good boy, and I am proud to know him.”
The closed door squeaked. Zander’s head appeared in the opening. “Then why are you leaving, Mr. Savage?” His face scrunched, fighting tears. “Did I do something wrong?”
At his grandmother’s nod, Ryan went over to the little boy.
“You did nothing wrong, Zan.” He crouched to Zander’s height. “I’m the one who did something wrong. I should’ve told you the truth.”
Zander’s mouth quavered. “Why didn’t you, Mr. Savage?”
“I was afraid you’d feel hurt.” Ryan touched his arm. “And you got hurt anyway. I’m so sorry, Zander.”
Zander crossed his arms over his T-shirt. “Will I ever see you again?”
His heart ached. “I don’t know, Zander.”
“Are you going to teach a n
ew fifth-grade class?”
“No, I’ll be working in a laboratory.”
Zander’s eyes widened. “With mice?”
“Maybe.”
“That’s not as cool as teaching, Mr. Savage.” Zander launched himself at Ryan, wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist. “You’re the best teacher ever. I’m going to miss you, Mr. Savage.”
Closing his eyes, he hugged the little boy. “I’ll miss you, too, Zan, my man.” If leaving was the right thing, why did he feel so torn up inside?
“Don’t worry, Mr. Savage. I won’t forget about the tapping. And I’ll work hard for Mrs. Parks and Mrs. Reyes.” He pulled back. “They’re not leaving, too, are they?”
“No.” He took a breath. “They’re staying.”
“Good.” Zander smiled. “I can’t wait to meet the Christmas baby.”
But Ryan wouldn’t get to meet her.
“Speaking of Christmas?” He consulted his watch. “We still have time to head out to Mr. Keller’s if we leave now.”
Zander peered at his grandmother. “Can I go?”
Her wrinkled face brightened. “De reward is yours.”
“You and his uncle are invited, too, Mrs. Benoit.”
Mrs. Benoit cupped her grandson’s cheek. “Is dat de truth, Zander?”
“All the families are coming, Gran. Please come. I picked out presents for both of you.”
“Go, Mama.” Antoine stepped into the apartment. “Enjoy the Christmas food.”
“You come, too.” Zander moved toward his uncle. “Maria’s dad will be there. Oscar doesn’t have a dad.” He scuffed the floor with his worn-out shoe. “But I got you, Antoine.”
Silence hung in the air between them. And Antoine’s hard shell cracked. “Yeah, kid.” He rubbed his hand across his nephew’s short-cropped hair. “You got me.”
Antoine followed Ryan in the Benoit family car to Mr. Keller’s. The afternoon was chilly, but fun. Due to Mrs. Benoit’s bad knees, she remained in the Keller kitchen to help Mrs. Guzman with meal preparations. The hayride was a blast.
It was with a great deal of pride that Maria, Oscar and Zander presented gifts to family members. And when it was their turn, the front parlor became a hurricane of ribbon and flying paper as the children dove into their gifts.
Mrs. Benoit’s cheeks reddened. “I apologize for de mess, Mr. Keller.”
“No apologies necessary, dear lady. What would Christmas be without children?” Mr. Keller got misty-eyed. “I can’t tell you how long it’s been since we had a real Christmas celebration in this old house of mine. I’m the one who should be thanking you for sharing your Christmas with me.”
Dinner morphed into an international affair. Mrs. Parks had fixed ham and mashed potatoes. Mrs. Guzman’s contribution had a distinctive Southwest flavor. And not to be outdone, Mrs. Benoit added a Creole flair to a dish she whipped up during the hayride.
Even Antoine managed to enjoy himself. Especially when Mrs. Parks put Antoine on the phone with the Reverend about a possible job opportunity at the boat repair shop in Kiptohanock.
His offer to help rejected, Ryan stepped out onto the porch as Mr. Guzman and Mr. Keller took over cleanup duty.
Grabbing her coat off a chair, Anna followed him into the deepening twilight. “I don’t know how you did it, but you did a good thing with Zander’s family.”
He smiled. “Despite the obstacles, I think we can declare Operation Christmas a success.” He leaned against the porch railing, taking a moment to enjoy the lavender-pink hues of the sunset.
She rubbed her hands to warm them. “Zander is some kind of proud of that new coat and shoes you bought him.” She arched a brow at him. “Wherever did you find the glow-in-the-dark moon?”
Ryan laughed. “He asked for the moon so I got it for him.”
“And the stars, too.” She smiled. “Every night when he looks at the stars on the ceiling above his bed, he’ll think of you.”
“Will you?” His heart hammered. “Think of me when I leave?”
“So you decided.” She turned her face away, and he could no longer read her expression. “You’re leaving.”
Why was he fighting this? Why, when a large portion of his heart lay inside Mr. Keller’s house right now, shrieking with Christmas delight. As for the rest of his heart? She was standing next to him.
Time to take a risk. There could be no more carefully constructed walls. No more barricades. No more safety net.
Ryan took a cleansing breath of air. “Actually, I’m not leaving.”
Her eyes darted to his.
“I’ve decided to accept Mr. Carden’s offer for now. Stay and see where this path leads.”
“Where do you want it to lead, Ryan?”
Anywhere with you, he wanted to say. But he didn’t. This thing happening between them was as fragile and delicate as a rose unfolding despite the chill of winter.
“Wherever I was always meant to be, I guess. I’m stepping out in faith.”
“Placing your dreams in the hands of God.” She linked her arm through his. “The safest place your dreams could be.” Her lips brushed his cheek.
Inhaling her sweet fragrance, he fingered a silky strand of her hair. And her eyes—Ryan could get so lost in her eyes—her eyes said to him what her lips could not. Not yet.
Both of them needed time. For Anna to move beyond her first love. For there lay the core of his hesitancy to take a chance on a brand-new future with Anna. Was there room in her life for him?
His dreams might be in God’s hands. But his heart... His heart was in hers.
Chapter Fifteen
There was still no word from her parents.
But it wasn’t them Anna thought of as she lay awake that night. It was Ryan. Turning over in her mind every look they shared. Pondering the way he made her feel. How did Ryan make her feel?
She wasn’t sure. He made her feel in a way she’d never imagined to feel again. Ryan was her best friend. Did she want him to be something more?
Taking his shift at the garden center, Ryan called around lunch. “Whatcha doing, Anna Banana?”
Goose bumps pebbled her skin. She wanted to say, Thinking about you. But she didn’t.
Cradling the phone between her ear and neck, she rested the small of her back against the wall. “I have a late afternoon appointment with the doctor.” Her obstetrician had mandated biweekly appointments at this point in the pregnancy. “What have you been doing?”
His voice thickened. “Thinking about you.”
And she almost swooned. Who knew Ryan Savage could be so romantic? “I’ll see you at the Living Nativity tonight.”
“Must I wait so long?”
“Aren’t I worth the wait, Mister Sabbage?” she teased.
“You’ve always been worth the wait, Anna Banana.”
She felt breathless. “I’ll see you soon.” But it didn’t feel soon enough.
On the way to her appointment, she stopped by the house. Her firefighter brother, Will, was supposed to come over from the mainland today for the holidays. He and Charlie stood on the porch. She got out of the car and waved at her two younger brothers.
Will enfolded her in a bear-size hug. “Look at you, little mama.” He gave her a rakish grin that melted single ladies into a puddle. “How you’ve grown since I saw you last. Not even a month ago.”
“Shut up, you.” She swatted at him but allowed him to help her up the steps.
Charlie crossed his arms. “Speaking of mothers? Have you heard from the parents yet, Anna?”
The sinking feeling deepened. She shook her head.
“Me, neither. And I don’t like it.” Charlie raked his hand over his head. “Leaves me feeling like I’m about to be ambushed.”
Will
draped his arm around her. “Any other developments to share, big sister?”
“Like what?”
Will smirked. “Like you and Ryan.”
Her heart pounded. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Will and Charlie exchanged glances. “Everyone secretly hoped you and Ryan would get together one day.”
She swallowed. “That was then.”
Will squeezed her shoulder. “No time like the present.”
She frowned. “Ryan and I are friends. He’s only staying on a temporary basis.”
Charlie shook his head. “I’m thinking it wouldn’t take much arm-twisting to change his mind.”
She raised her chin. “I don’t want him to stay because of me.”
Will rolled his eyes. “If not for you, what better reason?”
“I don’t need a man to take care of me. I’m a strong, independent woman.”
Charlie shuffled his feet on the porch planks. “Maybe too strong and independent for your own good.”
She propped her hands on her hips. “How do you figure that?”
“Too stubborn to see what’s been right in front of your nose the whole time.” Charlie cocked his head. “You may not need him, but how about what you want, Anna?”
What did she want? A real home. And a handsome teacher with beard scruff to love her little, brown-eyed girl.
She blew out a breath. This was crazy. There were other more important issues at the moment. “Can I count on your support when the parents finally do get around to calling?”
Both of her brothers winced, but rallied.
“Of course.”
“You know it.”
“Thanks, boys.” She smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow night at the caroling.”
At the doctor’s office, she arrived to an overflowing waiting room. Full moon tonight? Was there any truth to the old wives’ tale?
The physician’s assistant gave her a clean bill of health. “You could deliver anytime.”
With the assistance of the lady practitioner, she sat up on the paper-sheeted table. “Not too soon, though. Got to get through Christmas.”