by Sara Kincaid
“What exactly caused us to become Curare then? The chemical spill in East Farm?” It was the easiest explanation. But Curare began to pop up everywhere. Not just in East Farm.
“What other explanation is there?” Adem asked. He was stretched out on Leo’s bedroll. Our practice sessions were taking their toll. His beard was peppered with gray and his body sagged. He didn’t say anything, but I knew that he was in pain. I could see it drawn on his face, though he tried to keep it hidden.
“Don’t you think it has to be genetically based, though? The chemical spill caused the DNA of some farm residents to distort and when they had children, their children were Curare.” Adem took a swig from one of our canteens.
“There are many people from East Farm who believe that the chemical spill wasn’t an accident at all.”
Adem and I both turned to Leo. “How do you know that?” I asked, my eyes wide. Our disagreement of days ago had faded and we had rediscovered a neutral rhythm.
“It’s a story that’s been passed down in my family.”
“Your family?” Leo had come to South Farm from the City. It surprised me to know that anyone in the City passed down information or stories from the farms.
“Yes. My family has its roots in the farms.” He kept his face neutral, but still I tried to read the rest of the story in his stillness.
“You never said that.” I looked upon him with fresh eyes and wondered what other secrets he held.
His response echoed my thoughts. “You just thought I was a City boy? A Slicker,” he threw the word at me with a hiss, but there was light in his eyes and a small smile about his lips. I knew he was just playing with me, but my indignation at yet another lie by omission did not wane. I ignored his use of the slur.
“They couldn’t have known,” I whispered. A chill crawled down my spine. Could anyone be so cruel?
“No, of course not. How could they?” He asked, answering my unspoken question. They couldn’t have known that the spill would produce the Curare. Could they?
Our conversation broke into silence and I buried my toes in the earth, latching onto the power of the wind. Mentally, I rode the back of the breeze and added my power to it. Across from me Leo sat, his arms crossed. The breeze ruffled his tight curls until a heavier breeze hit him all at once, knocking him off balance. “Hey!” he called as he regained his footing. “It’s not fair to pick on someone weaker than you, Vea!” His voice was whiny, but it was clear he was far from upset. His narrow eyes crinkled along their edges.
“That’s what you get for holding out on us,” I tried to look angry, my face creased with a deep scowl. In spite of myself, I grinned and then I began to laugh. It was loud and vibrant and it seemed to echo around us. I covered my mouth in surprise. Leo’s surprise mimicked my own. I had begun to shed the scars of my past, the fear of being noticed and arousing suspicion. Like the flowers, I had begun to bloom and I liked who I was becoming.
Like the sunshine, the freedom of East Farm was a tonic for my nerves and my soul. Even the night shadows served as a balm upon my invisible wounds. No longer was the darkness a place for me to sneak about and take my fill. I did not need books to escape my loneliness. No longer did I hide in the corner of my room, fearful that with nightfall would come the soldiers of the CPA to take me away to some unnamable fate. They still lurked out there and I never forgot them. But for this brief moment, I was free.
The evening was warm with a slight breeze and for once, the film over the sky seemed thin. I lay on my back out in the open, hoping for a glimpse of the stars, wishing for evidence that the rest of the universe hadn’t disappeared.
“Hey,” Leo called as he wandered up the dirt road. “What are you doing?”
“Stargazing.”
Leo turned his head and looked up at the sky, thick with ash. Smog swirled like smoke, orbiting an invisible center, beautiful in spite of the destruction it represented. “Stargazing, huh?” I turned my eyes on him and he smiled down at me before joining me on the ground.
“Well, star-searching,” I corrected myself. His head leaned slightly against mine and I wondered if it was on purpose. I didn’t move, though, and I realized that part of me hoped that it was. I could feel his energy swirling when we touched. The tempo of his life force echoed that of the earth. Together, both harmonies reverberated through me and the beauty of them in sync struck deep within my soul.
We lay in silence for a time as I continued to contemplate the rhythms to which he was unaware. “Why-”
But Leo started talking at the same time. We both went silent, each waiting for the other to continue. “Go ahead,” I urged.
He sucked in a breath and turned his head to look at me more directly. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Yes?”
“About how you can heal yourself.”
I thought infrequently about the episode of self-healing in which I revealed my abilities to Leo, though it shouldn’t have surprised me that he mulled it over often. “What of it?”
“Does that mean you could live forever?”
I paused, first to see if he was serious and when I assured myself that he was, to consider the question and the possibility. The idea of living forever seemed selfish. For someone to be a burden upon the earth until the end of time instead of relinquishing their place so the next generation could thrive was terrible. “Yes. I suppose technically I could. If my energy source didn’t run out, I could regenerate and recover from injuries.”
“And technically you could stop aging.”
“I suppose if nature sees aging to be an injury, then yes I could.” The thought had never occurred to me. Why did he ask? Why did he care? I’d already outlived the people who mattered most. I imagined the bodies of my parents tossed carelessly aside; of my mother, her eyes faded in death and my father, for once—and now forever—motionless. Maybe they burned down our house and my parents along with it? There was agony in not knowing.
With effort, I pulled myself from that invisible storm of what ifs and turned my attention back to Leo. He was quiet, thoughtful. I traced the curve of his jaw with my eyes, noticing the soft growth of dark, curly stubble around his chin and then shook my head, embarrassed by my staring. “Why do you ask?”
“It’s something I’ve been thinking about since the day you showed me your abilities. I shall think of you as a phoenix, for out of the ashes of the earth, you rise,” he said.
For once, I did not see malice in his words. I didn’t believe in ulterior motives or betrayal. I believed that he was simply curious. Somehow he had ties to the farms and I hoped that he would tell me soon. He was here with me in this abandoned place where we were alone in the world. He yearned for battle and revenge that wasn’t his to take. But he stayed with me, ever vigilant and loyal. I forgot then the urge to tease out the mystery and was satisfied with the darkness overhead and the connection I felt between us.
“A phoenix.” The shape of the word in my mouth brought a smile to my face and I imagined spreading my wings wide across the land, rising high and strong. For all the lies, for all I’d lost, in those words, I found forgiveness and strength.
Another breeze floated through and sparks of light flashed between the layers of smog overhead. I gasped in delight, glimpsing the stars for the first time in many years. He kissed me then, light and gentle and slow, as surprising as the sight of the stars above us, and I felt a warmth flow through me unlike any power I had experienced before.
We laid like that long into the night. After a while he took my hand in his and I grew sleepy, the steady rhythm of his life force lulling me to sleep with its gentle lullaby.
Beneath the melody of the thriving earth, I could sense the emptiness of the place where the chemical spill had occurred, and though every instinct told me to stay away, there was another perhaps perverted part of me that wanted to see it. The place where humanity’s course
had been altered, where the Curare were born on the heels of destruction.
“There’s nothing there,” Leo crossed his arms tightly over his chest.
I glared up at him. “How do you know?”
“It’s a dead zone. Everyone knows that.”
“Well, I want to see it. And it’s not like there’s anything else to do. I’m going.” I crossed my arms over my chest. My feelings for Leo were confusing. At times, my heart ached when I looked at him, like when I remembered the kiss we had shared. At others, I wanted to punch him in the nose.
“And whatever you say goes?”
“No one’s making you come,” I retorted.
“If I don’t come, who’s going to protect you?”
“Now I need your protection? I think I could beat you up if I wanted.” I dug my fingernails into my palms.
Adem watched our exchange with amusement. “Someday you two will get your acts together.”
“Shut up, Adem,” Leo shot back.
“Yeah,” I agreed, all too quickly.
Adem turned from us, his shoes crunching on the gravel and dirt road. I thought I detected the hint of a smile on his face, but he turned away too fast. Leo and I stood rooted to our spots. “Well, are you coming or not,” he called over his shoulder. Without looking at Leo, I followed, jogging to catch up with him.
Adem led us on a path that wound out of the center of town and into the fields. The sun was high, a dull disk beneath the perpetual film of smog and pollution. In reality, I didn’t need Adem to lead us to the spill site. I could have found it on my own, following the song of the earth to the south, to silence. Leo caught up to us quickly and nudged me gently with his elbow.
As we got closer, the landscape began to change and silence grew until our footsteps were the only sounds beyond our labored breathing. I could feel the sickness of the earth oozing into my feet as the spoiled energy entered my body. I felt its affects immediately, but kept walking, driven by a desire to see my beginning that I couldn’t explain.
The farther we walked, the sicker the earth became. There was no river here to wash away the poisons. Plant life disappeared until all we saw was bare ground. If they were able, the cracks would have bled. “How can you endure it?” Adem asked, covering his ears with his hand as if stopping them would keep out the silence.
A chill crawled up my spine. “It’s worse than No Man’s Land,” I whispered into the stillness. I had no words to describe the destruction I saw. The patchy, cracked earth reminded me of a child I knew in South Farm who had been severely burned in an accident. His skin was flaky and red, always irritated and stretched strangely across his chest, a permanent wound. It was a miracle that he even survived. The earth was nothing more than a scar here. Surely this had to be an accident. There’s no way that someone, no matter their motives, could be persuaded to cause this destruction. My breath strangled in my throat and I felt tears burn my eyes.
As we crested the hill, I realized the extent of the damage, the reach of the spill. It stretched for nearly a mile and seemed more of an assault than an accident. Wilted trees curled in on themselves and snarled patches of dead grasses dotted the hillside and the valley. What reason would the people of East Farm have had for keeping such toxic waste in a place where people lived? Broken frames of houses were the only evidence that anyone had lived here at all. My mouth opened in horrified awe as the destruction wavered in my vision.
“Vea!” Leo ran to my side and caught me by the elbow. “Are you okay?” I blinked slowly up at him. “We shouldn’t have come here,” he declared angrily.
I licked my lips and tried to blink the split, double world I was seeing back into one. “It’s so bad.” Every inch of my body felt like lead. Nausea hit me in a cycle of waves and I would have fallen to my knees had Leo not held onto me.
“We should go.” Adem wrenched himself from the ghastly view.
Leo took me in his arms, my head lolling against his chest and together the three of us hurried away from the terrible toxins.
The gush of the river revived me, carrying away the toxins I had ingested and refilling me with the strength and the patient wrath of the water. Leo had carried me into the water himself, both of us fully clothed, and held me still against the rush. We emerged, sputtering but clean, each of us dragged to the muddy shore by Adem’s strong hands.
I lay on the sun-baked clay until the warmth of the day left me dry and I gave silent thanks for the unharmed land beneath my feet.
Worn from our excursion, we each fell into a restful slumber, blind to the world around us. I don’t know how long we slept, but when my eyes opened, the sun had traveled along its path across the sky and was making its way down to the horizon. I sighed softly and rolled onto my side, closing my eyes once more. I was about to fall back asleep when a harsh, buzzing sound reverberated across the valley. My ears perked at an unfamiliar noise that tore through the silence and then all at once, realization dawned. A transport. They were searching for us. They would find us. I would be captured. Adem would be returned to the CPA and Leo...What would happen to Leo? The thought of us being separated sent a wave of panic through me. I gripped the ground beneath me and lost control. The grasses drooped and faded and the tree overhead began to wilt. My eyes grew large with fear.
Leo and Adem must have awoken, alerted by the sound. Leo gripped my hand tightly. He and Adem were poised for a fight even as I succumbed to panic. “Vea. Calm down! You have to control yourself,” Leo soothed.
“They’ll see the brown spots,” I cried. How could I have been so stupid? I had come here to hide and I had not hidden. Instead, I had flaunted my abilities.
“Really, it’s nothing. They’ve flown over here before.”
“They’ve been here before?” Leo demanded, turning to Adem, disbelief and hot rage on his face. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Well, for awhile, they came like clockwork. But in the past few months, there have been no passes.” He shrugged his shoulders helplessly.
Leo tugged me further under the cover of the trees. “If you must take, take from me!” His words were harsh and I winced at his tone. But his ploy at getting me back under control worked.
We listened as the transport buzzed over East Farm. Their scouting trip seemed endless as I imagined all of the evidence of our occupation visible from the sky.
Finally, the sounds of the transport faded into the distance and Adem cautiously exited our hiding spot to explore. His eyes were riveted on the gray sky overhead in search of the scout vehicle or any other foreign objects.
Leo wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. I leaned into him, hoping to bury myself in his melody.
The wings of that transport scout bore the weight of reality upon them and left me with a sense of foreboding in their wake. We did not return to our campsite for some time, each of us afraid of being in a space we had previously occupied in case the transport and the soldiers it carried were to suddenly reappear. I felt the old fears creep into my bones and seep into my blood, poisoning the light that had bloomed within me. The nervousness gripped me in a hold so tight, it was almost as if it had never left.
Under cover of darkness, we returned to our campsite. I sat down heavily on my bedroll and rested my chin in my hand. “Well, what’s next, boss?” Leo asked as he sat down beside me.
“We have to leave,” I responded dully.
Leo’s surprise was evident. “Okay, where to?”
“I don’t know.” Where in this world was safe for us three fugitives? I know what Leo would say if I asked him.
“Perhaps you could go north? My family in North Farm might help you,” Adem suggested.
When Leo looked to me for input, I merely shrugged. It was as good an option as any. “Okay. We’ll pack up our things and we’ll head northwest. We just have to be on the lookout for soldiers.”
“You’re not going with us?” I asked, turning to our new companion.
He frowned, considering. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to travel together.” My heart sank at his words. Adem had become an important part of my life and he helped me unravel my identity as a Curare. “We’ll part ways for now. But don’t you worry.” He gazed at me intently. “I won’t be far away. And we’ll cross paths again. I know it!”
I was too heartbroken to argue.
We took turns keeping watch that night but, try as I might, I wasn’t able to stop my mind from whirling. East Farm had just been a delay of the inevitable. There was no place for a Curare in this world. Could Adem’s family help us? Would they risk it? It was worth the trek to try.
The next day Leo gathered supplies for himself and we tried to erase as much of our presence as possible from East Farm. Finally, as dusk settled, we said our goodbyes.
“Remember what I told you, Vea. You are strong and a force to be reckoned with. If you ever need me, I’ll be there blazing a trail right alongside you.”
“Thanks, Adem.” The thought of another goodbye left me choked with unshed tears. I thought of my parents and their sad fate after I disappeared.
Adem and Leo shook hands heartily. “You aren’t alone, either, Adem. They’ll be waiting.” I arched my eyebrow at the cryptic statement.
Together we followed the dirt road back the way we had come. I trailed my toes in the grasses and tried not to look back at the oasis we were leaving. When we reached the edge of No Man’s Land, I felt my tether on the land break and my heart broke along with it. As I stepped forward onto the charred earth and into the arms of destruction, I felt my body wince. I realigned myself with the bleeding ground and felt the sickness come over me as the tainted energy flowed through the connection I established. I closed it off as best I could, limiting the flow to a mere trickle as I so often had before.