by Adriana Law
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without express permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, or any events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Chasing Memories
“Like magic, she felt him getting nearer, felt it like a pull in the pit of her stomach. It felt like hunger but deeper, heavier. Like the best kind of expectation.” -Sarah Addison Allen, The Sugar Queen
The bucket rocked as the Ferris wheel jerked to a stop for the next couple to get on down below. Virginia could feel the cold steel of the bar as she gripped it in a brief fleeting moment of fear. That fear soon subsided and she leaned forward. She loved being on the top. On the top she could see everything for miles and miles—the lazy movement of the crowd surrounded by all the bright flashing colored lights. It was magical. Hypnotizing and romantic. Anything was possible.
Virginia searched the walkways down below for her father’s tall statue shadowing her mother. She instantly located her brother by the games surround by the hip kids from school. He wasn’t hard to spot wearing his favorite New York Giants baseball cap. Their mother had snatched the hat from his head on more than one occasion proclaiming Brandon would be bald by the time he was thirty if he didn’t let his scalp breathe. Brandon would run a hand through the hair creased and molded flat to his head. He would laugh and drop the cap back in its permanent place.
Virginia also saw her childhood friend, Ava, waiting in the long line to get on the Ferris wheel. Ava smiled up, waving wildly. The two girls had gone their separate ways once Virginia entered Jr. High. She missed Ava and thought of her often. They’d spent many afternoons playing with dolls and riding bikes. They’d never made it to the high heels and boys stage. Virginia sat back and sighed for lost friendships.
Summer air lightly brushed Virginia’s heated flesh, warm like fluttering butterfly wings over dandelions. Rain was coming soon; she could see the quick explosions of white on the horizon and hear a distant rumble over the noise of the carnival. She closed her eyes and listened to the grinding motors and pulleys of the nearby rides and the crowds roar laced with laughter.
She could sense his heavy gaze on the left side of her face; she turned her head to welcome his attention. They were both quiet, frozen staring in to each other’s eyes as the carnival proceeded on without them. Six seconds. A minute. Three. The color of his eyes reminded her of a never-ending field of green clover she could submerge her whole self in.
He gave her a smile that made her heart skip a beat. “If I don’t taste you soon I’ll go crazy,” he said.
Her flesh tingled at his odd choice of words. Taste her? She let long strands of her hair create a curtain between them. The right side of his solid form pressed against hers making her belly flare with wonder and excitement. He smelled different from her father, a combination of cigarettes and spicy cologne, a scent she’d forever associate with him.
He slipped the curtain of hair separating them behind her ear. “I want to kiss you, Gin. I think about it all the time. Sometimes it’s all I can think about.” His shoulder bumped hers. “You want to know the truth?”
She nodded, swallowing hard.
“I think about doing more with you than kissing.”
Unlike most of her friends, Virginia had no experience with sex. Her inexperienced mind could venture only so far before her cheeks would flare crimson from shame. But, she’d fantasized about doing things with him that she shouldn’t. She imagined her first time being with him. The chemistry was there. The timing seemed right. She wanted his lips on hers so bad she ached with it. But her parents were below, and her brother. Everyone she knew and loved, watching what they assumed were two young friends.
He leaned in, his warm breath caressing her neck. “Tell your parents we’re going to stop to eat on the way back and we’ll find someplace to be alone. You do want to be alone, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she answered honestly, blushing. She felt his fingers brush hers, a promise of what was to come. Her mind raced with the possibilities. Could she? Lie to her parents and leave with him? She was terrified and wide-awake-with-anticipation at the same time. Her teeth caught her bottom lip and he groaned, his forehead thumping the metal bar. He exhaled a frustrated breath.
“Keep doing that and I’ll kiss you right here in front of everyone.”
“Brandon will want to leave with us,” Virginia reasoned. Her brother and he were best friends after all.
“You let me handle your brother.”
One
“I’ve been your roommate for two years and I have never once met your family,” Lizzie stated, perched Indian style in the center of Virginia’s bed. She watching as Virginia crammed the last of her folded clothes in the open suitcase.
“I know, I told you my family is different from yours.”
“I don’t care how different they are … shouldn’t your father at least care to see how his daughter is doing? It’s not like you live hours away; you’re practically in his back yard. For all he knows you’re jacked up on coke and having hardcore raunchy sex with tattooed bikers.” Lizzie lips pressed into a glim line as she drew circles on a patch of the down comforter.
Virginia laughed. Sex with tattooed bikers. “Sounds more like you, Liz.”
“Yeah, you’re right it does,” Lizzie wagged her brows. Her attention shifted to a loose string on the bottom of her sock. She pulled at it. “He should have at least called to check on you. My mom can’t go a day without calling me.” Her gaze snapped up. “Shit, I’m sorry, Gin, you know how it is once my mouth gets to moving.”
Virginia shrugged a shoulder, hands planted on her hips she gave the contents of the suitcase one final sweep: makeup, tooth brush, five pairs of jeans, ten shirts, three sun dresses, curling iron, hairdryer, shoes, books for escape. It was all in there, the essentials.
“Virginia, you know you can talk to me, right? Your mom drove her car off a bridge into a lake and you never mention it. You act like it never happened. I don’t think that’s normal.”
“I hope I’ll be able to get this suit case closed.” Virginia jabbed a knee on the top of the lid and tugged on the resistant zipper.
“So, that’s it. Your dad contacts you after not speaking to you in two years. He demands you rush home, your mother is in a coma, and all you can think about is getting your damn suitcase closed? Virginia something is not right with you.” Lizzie brushed chestnut colored hair off her shoulder. “I’ll just don’t get it. You don’t date, and when you’re not working you lock yourself away … reading.” Lizzie sniffed and shook her head. “Don’t you want to experience life? Love? You can’t do that sitting in the apartment.”
“Okay, first of all: you don’t have to understand me. All you have to do is pay your half of the bills. Second: I’ve watched you cry every time some asshole stomps on your heart. How many times have you seen me sobbing on the couch? I’ll tell you … zero times. You’re the one that doesn’t make sense. Why put yourself through it?”
“Relationships are not all bad. They have their highlights.”
Virginia chuckled at her delusional friend. “That’s the best you’ve got? I was at least expecting to gag while you went in to explicit detail about how great sex is.”
“What exactly did you think I was referring to when I said highlights?” Lizzie’s chin came up. “Laugh at me all you want. One day y
ou’ll actually find yourself thinking about sex quite often. Sooner or later some hot momma’s boy is going to make you wet between your legs and then all you’ll be able to think about is his penis and all the places you’d like him to stick it. ”
Feathers burst in to the air as Virginia slapped Lizzie hard several times with a pillow. “You are nasty! I’m serious! I’m shocked you don’t have some STD by now!”
Lizzie fell sideways in a fit of laughter. She clutched her stomach and eventually her laughter gave way to snorts, and then died off in to nothingness. She wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. “I love messing with your head.” She drew a breath. “How long will you be gone?”
“A week, two at the most.” Virginia flopped down on the side of the bed, her shoulders slumped with dread. “I don’t want to go back. Would I be a horrible person if I didn’t?”
“Well—” Lizzie paused. “You could stay with me. Nobody says you have to run as soon as your father calls, but if you don’t go I’ll never get the chance to meet your family.” She picked up the small photo lying on Virginia’s bedside table. “And your brother looks awful yummy. Why don’t you ever invite him to visit us?”
“Forget it. I’m not fixing you up with Brandon.” Virginia made a face. “That would just be too weird.”
“Fine whatever. Your brother and I probably wouldn’t have worked out anyways. He looks a little too anal for me. I like my men dirty.” Her nail tapped the photo. “Now this other guy in the picture, Mr. Sexy, he looks like he knows how to have some serious fun … my kind of fun.”
“Give me that.” Virginia swiped the photo from Lizzie’s hand. She held the photo in her lap, the corners bent in her tight grip. She frowned, glaring down at the two guys with impressive fish dangling from each of their poles. The algae-green lake was visible, stretched out behind them. It had been a hot day, a happy day, and one Virginia remembered well. She was the one who’d been behind the camera.
“You freak out over things that you shouldn’t freak out over, and seem emotionally dead over the stuff that really matters. I don’t get it,” Lizzie grumbled.
“I told you. You don’t have to.”
Virginia stared at the photo, seeing the same intense green eyes that haunted her for two years. There are just some things a person can never forget. She’d avoided her past and avoided him. She should have known sooner or later her demons would hunt her down wherever she hid. But she was no longer the same thin-skinned frightened girl she once was. She was stronger. A hell of a lot stronger. Her mind was clearer than it had been in a long time.
Two
The yellow glow from the porch light spilled down on distressed wood, a bright, shinning beacon in the night calling Virginia home. It had rained off and on all day. One of those cold rains that settles in quick, dramatically cooling things off. Faint thunder rumbled far off in the heavy grey. Water stood in puddles on the sidewalk and in the yard.
Virginia swallowed hard the pit of her stomach doing fickle somersaults as she sloshed her way up to the front door. Her rain boots made squishy sounds up the wood steps. Even though she’d sheltered her body under a black hefty garbage bag, soppy strands of her hair still spiked out, making her look as if she had tentacles. She shook the beads of water off and shivered griping the handle of the suitcase tight.
This is it.
Deep breath. Deep Breath.
The door swung opened and her brother stepped out. His lips were pressed thin, his expression grim. “Here, I’ll take that.” He reached for the suitcase. “Get inside before you come down with pneumonia. Why didn’t you wait out the storm? I would’ve brought you out an umbrella.” He sat her things in the foyer.
“I’m fine.” Once inside where it was warm Virginia wiped the dampness from her eyes with her palms. The house looked exactly the same as it did two years ago. It was like she’d never left. Nothing had been moved. The only thing different was the smell. Roses. She breathed in the unmistakable floral scent heavy in the air.
“How’s mom?”
“Sleeping.” Brandon’s eyebrows slopped with concern. “It’ll probably be best if you wait to see her in the morning. Daytime drains the strength from her.” He lifted his baseball cap, scratched his scalp and dumped the cap back in place. “I should probably warn you … Chase is here.”
Instinctively—always worried what she looked like around him—Virginia’s hand went to her hair. She attempted to smooth the wet stringy mess and ran a hand over her ratty T-shirt. She remembered how close her brother and Chase were before she left. Now, Brandon said his name as if he was his least favorite person.
“What’s wrong? I thought you and he were best friends?” asked Virginia.
“Things change. You would know this if you’d stuck around.” Brandon shot a glance over her shoulder. His face hardened, the muscles along his jaw worked under the surface.
Chase.
She knew he was looming in the doorway behind her. The first dead giveaway was Brandon’s reaction. Second giveaway was how her flesh felt a blaze. Hot. Her body betrayed her by waking up from a long hiatus bounding with weird sensations she’d forgotten she could have. She turned to see Chase for the first time in two years. She drew in a shuddering breath through her teeth at the mature version of her childhood friend. He was wearing a dark navy T-shirt and faded jeans. His forearms and chest were filled out. He was always something to behold that much was certain, the same still held true. Twenty suited him.
“Hey Gin,” he said, leaning a lazy shoulder against the door jamb. Messy hair begged for her fingers to run through it. His arms were crossed over his chest as he studied her with intensity and a grin that made her legs feel wobbling underneath her. She felt the color rush to her cheeks “Glad to see you made it home.” He stepped forward. “Here let me help you take your things up to your room.”
Her hand came up. “That’s okay. Brandon will help me.”
Chase stopped mid step, the grin slipping from his face. His eyes closed. He inhaled a deep breath and shook his head. “Okay, Gin. If that’s the way you want it.” He turned and went back into the kitchen leaving her alone with her brother. She heard cabinet drawers slam shut. Chairs clattered over as if they ‘d been kicked sideways.
The first time Virginia met Chase she was fourteen. He was rudely blocking her path into the kitchen—a somewhat attractive nuisance that made her stomach do crazy things. Virginia had just taken a shower and her hair was matted to the sides of her face.
“Do you mind?” She motioned him aside eager to get into the kitchen before her brother ate the entire box of Cocoa puffs.
“Who’s the drowned mouse?” he asked her brother as he allowed Virginia to duck under the arm he had braced in the doorway. Chase was a lanky boy going through an awkward all-black phase, but he had nice eyes.
Brandon talked around a mouth full of cereal. “That’s my sister … Virginia. Be careful what you say around her. She’ll squeal on you in a heartbeat.” To put emphasis on his words he squealed like a little pig.
“When have I ever told on you?” Virginia snapped. Her brother was molding and shaping her to be quite the secretive girl. Who wants to be categorized as a tattletale? Not Virginia.
“It’s okay, Gin, you don’t look like a rat to me.” Chase playfully pinched the tip of her nose. She hated her nose being pinched; it always caused her nose to run. She sniffed. But Chase won points for taking up for her so she quickly forgave him and smirked at her brother, sticking out her tongue at him. Brandon shrugged a shoulder and shoveled the last of the cereal in his mouth with a smug grin.
Chase was outgoing, always smiling and people gravitated to him for it. Virginia thought his overly cheerful act was the product of a broken home where neither of his parents was ever around and when they were, he tried his best to make them like him by being funny. Somehow, she couldn’t imagine how, Chase’s parents seemed to have forgotten him. Little by little his visits to hang out with Brandon after school
turned in to sleep overs. Soon, feeling uttering sorry for their newly discovered stray, Virginia’s parents purchased another twin bed for Brandon’s room, and that was it … Chase Davenport was a constant variable in the Bennet household.
Virginia didn’t complain. In fact, she grew fond of the boy’s silly antics. She’d come to expect them. He made her giggle endlessly. It was nothing for her to glance across the dinner table to find a string bean dangling from Chase’s nostril, or a green olive obscuring his front tooth. She liked it best when he pinned Brandon to the floor for teasing her. His face would turn bright red, his usual grin would disappear and he’d have Brandon on the floor in a matter of seconds, forcing him to say he was sorry. The three of them were inseparable—the two boys and their Chase’s groupie—enjoying summer days swimming and boating on the lake, and winters watching newly released movies under a mound of heavy blankets. If Brandon and Chase argued, it was over who was a better fisherman, who could score the most touchdowns in football, or whose muscles were more defined. Virginia was always the referee.
“Let’s ask Virginia,” they would say.
But after Virginia celebrated her sixteenth birthday—her presents unwrapped and her candles blown out—Chase cornered her in the hallway. He forced her backwards until her shoulder blades bumped the wall. He skimmed by her, his solid chest brushing hers as if there wasn’t enough room for both of them to pass without touching. She inhaled his scent, seen the flecks of gold in his green eyes.
And that was when she realized she was in love with Chase.
“Sweet sixteen and never been touched … what are we going to do about that?” he whispered next to her ear, the warmth of his words and what they implied caused goose bumps to swamp her body. She drew a quick sharp breath and held it.
It was a comment that probably meant nothing to Chase, her brother, but it had meant the world to Virginia. The possibility of there being more between them was kick-started in her mind and there was no taking it back. It had caused new feelings to ignite inside her. Sexual feelings. She had wanted him to say more. Do more.