Chasing Memories

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Chasing Memories Page 5

by Adriana Law


  “This has never happened before,” he said staring down at her. “I’ve never NOT been able to get it up.”

  He was raised up on an elbow stretched out beside her in the back seat. They were both completely naked and she’d never been so mortified in her life. It was the way he was staring at her as if he felt sorry for her. She swallowed hard, her belly fluttering. She wanted to cry, but that would only make her embarrassment worse.

  “But you have before.” She motioned between them, imply he’d had sex. Of course he had. She wished she could forget the secrets he’d shared with her. It only made their current situation even worse.

  He tensed. “Yeah. But it was different.”

  “Different how?”

  “Gentle wasn’t ever a word that was associated with it. What if I hurt you?”

  She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. He was trembling. “You won’t.”

  Everything had been wonderful up until the moment Chase went to put on a condom, and then things just stopped working. His erection to be more exact.

  “Hey, it’s not that I don’t want you. I hope that’s not what you’re thinking. It’s just … I’m nervous as hell, and you know all that disgusting shit about me. Why do you even want to be with me, Virginia?” He exhaled a ragged breath and laid his head on her chest.

  They were skin to skin from head to toe, wrapped around each other. She wanted to inhale him and memorize his smell. She wanted to consume him the way he’d consumed her. Her hands raked through his messy hair and felt him shiver against her. “I want to be with you because you make me laugh, because you’re my best friend and because I like how I feel whenever you look at me, whenever you touch me or say my name … I want to be with you because I love you.”

  He lifted his head and choked out, “you love me?”

  Tears stung her eyes, even though she laughed. It was a happy moment, a once in a lifetime moment that required tears and laughter at the same time. There weren’t many of those. “Yes. I’ve loved you ever since Brandon brought you home.”

  The bowl slipped from her hands. It shattered against the floor, milk and cereal splattering up on the cabinet. Virginia took a step, one of the shards of glass slicing the heel of her foot. “Ouch!” she cried, jumping on one foot.

  Chase bent, took hold of her ankle, lifting her injured foot. “Let me see. Are you bleeding?”

  “It’s fine.” She tried to wrench her foot free.

  He looked up at her from under the sweep of dark lashes. “It’s not fine. There could still be glass in it. Let me take care of you.”

  “I don’t won’t you to take care of me!” She reclaimed her foot and sat it down, careful not to press against the heel. Her head was spinning from the memory and the caring way he was behaving. He rose to his full height, a head taller than her.

  “Okay. Just one thing … tell me where you went just then, Gin, before you broke the bowl?” He boxed her in against the kitchen cabinet, a hand gripping the counter on each side of her waist.

  She was very aware of his hard body pressing into hers. Her chin tilted up. “Nowhere.”

  “Don’t lie. You were in the past, weren’t you?” He moved closer, his head dipping dangerously close and she forgot all about the pain in her foot. Other places were throbbing on her body now. Wanting him.

  “I can’t breathe,” she murmured.

  “Neither can I.” His eyes dropped to her lips. “What are we going to do about that?”

  “Here’s an easy solution. Move.”

  “I like it here.”

  “I don’t.”

  He gave her a cocky grin. “Oh, I think you do.” To prove his point he brushed his lips over hers. His lips moved slowly at first, teasing hers with their familiarity. She tried with everything she had not to respond, but she failed miserably. Trying not to kiss Chase was like trying to live without chocolate or trashy romance novels. The temptation was always there and way too strong. Her palms went to his chest, her fingers fisting in the fabric of his T-shirt. Their tongues fell into perfect harmony and she moaned, arching into him, giving in completely. He used his knee to force her legs further apart, pressing his erection against the place that longed for him the most. A hundred sensations spread throughout her body as she turned into moist putty in his hands. Within seconds her sundress had been worked up, her panties stepped out of, and his jeans were down around his thighs. He thrust into her hard and with an intensity that made her gasp with pleasure as her naked rear-end knocked against the cabinet. The size of him filling her up had her muscles quivering.

  Sex was the one thing they did right.

  Always.

  His hands hooked under her bottom and her legs wrapped around his waist. He shuffled across the kitchen with her holding onto him. She chuckled knowing what they must look like with his pants around his ankles and her clinging to the front of him.

  Her arms tightened around his neck and she buried her face in his shoulder, giggly. “You know, someone could walk in.”

  “I wouldn’t care if someone walked in. I’d take you to my room, lock the door and face my punishment after.”

  “Be careful!” She squealed as her shoulder blade knocked against the hall wall.

  “Opps!” He chuckled, spinning around and kicking open the door to his bedroom with a foot. Her back hit the bed. Chase gently landed on top of her. They didn’t even bother undressing, picking up where they’d left off in the kitchen.

  He rose up on an elbow. “Look at me.” He cupped her face with his large hands, moving slowly inside of her. He kissed her between the words. “You asked why I stay—”

  “You really want to talk about this now?” One of her hands gripped his rear-end, her fingers digging in flesh as she urged him deeper. She arched her neck, feeling an orgasm building.

  He stopped moving completely. He forced her to look him in the eye. She could feel the length of him throbbing inside her.

  “I need you to know the answer. I need you to know why I stay.”

  “Okay. Why do you stay?” She was breathless.

  “Because you’re worth the fight, Gin.” He brushed his lips over hers. “You’re worth every minute of the pain.”

  He kissed her cheek, her throat, the tender spot beneath her ears… anywhere he had easy access to. Her arms tightened around his shoulders, her nails digging into the muscles along his shoulder blades feeling them move under the skin as he plunged deeper into her. Her legs wrapped around his waist squeezing into his sides and she shattered around him. He buried himself deep inside her and growled, shuddering as he came with her.

  “My body is sore. What did you do to me?” Virginia moaned. She smiled remembering the past couple of hours as she stretched and yawned between the sheets. Realizing she must of dosed off one of her arms snaked out over the cool sheet to find the space next to her empty. Then the reality of it all piled in on her. She’d had sex with Chase Davenport. Her stomach dropped. She rose up on an elbow wondering exactly how long she’d slept. Had her father come home? She suspected finding her in Chase’s bed wouldn’t set well with him, no matter how much he liked Chase.

  Wrapping the sheet around her nude chest she started to crawl from the bed when the bedroom door opened.

  “Hope you’re hungry,” Chase said. He sat on the side of the mattress; a fast food bag in one hand, the other hand reached out to cup her cheek. Leaning in he gave her a sweet simple kiss. He was completely clothed, which made Virginia extra conscience of the fact that she wasn’t. Shame for the sounds that’d poured freely out of her while they’d pleasured each other multiple times colored her cheeks. She scooted up and rested her shoulders against the headboard, the whole time making sure she was covered by the sheet.

  He was wearing a baby blue button down (unbuttoned) over a white T-shirt and faded jeans. Finding Chase attractive had never been a problem. Wanting to jump straight back into having sex with him was.

  “I brought you an egg and cheese biscuit.
You used to like those, right?” He dug out one wrapped biscuit after another, placing a wide variety in her lap. “Cause I went ahead and got a sausage biscuit, a ham biscuit, and a cinnamon and raisin biscuit… in case you wanted something different. But then I thought you might be going through an anti-biscuit phase, so I also got some pancakes. Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I … I don’t think I’ve ever been confronted with so many choices.” The awkwardness of the entire situation intensified. Virginia was confused and in a daze, not quite sure how she ended up in this bed with a breakfast buffet lined up in her lap.

  “Well pick what you want.” He grinned, making her stomach flip-flop.

  The yellow paper wrapped around the egg and cheese biscuit made crackling sounds as she unfolded it and took a small bite, chewing slowly as he intently watched her, grinning.

  “Can you please stop staring at me?”

  He reached out and brushed hair out of her eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. You’re beautiful.”

  Virginia felt like she shrank against the headboard. The room suddenly felt hot and stuffy. She could feel her throat closing up. “Did you happen to get a collection of sodas to go along with all this food?”

  “No. Just water,” he answered, handing her a water bottle. “I knew you don’t drink sodas, but if you really want one …” he aimed a thumb at the door like he could run out and get one.

  “This is fine. I was kidding.” She took another bite. Chewed. He continued to stare. This was a mistake. She could see the hopeful expectation gleaming in his eyes. She’d made a difficult situation worse.

  He bent, untied his laces. His shoes thumped against the floor as he slid them off. He laid across her stomach on his side, holding up most of his weight with an elbow on the mattress. His right hand reached out and his fingertips trailed over parts of her body that were exposed: the sides of her upper arms, the soft spot at the base of her throat, her collarbones. It was as if he couldn’t keep from touching her.

  “Don’t you work?” Virginia asked.

  “I’m taking online classes. Your fathers had a hard time managing things around here.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I stick around so I can help. Why do you ask?”

  She took a sip from the water bottle. “I thought maybe you had somewhere you needed to be.”

  “Are you trying to get rid of me?” He didn’t seem too offended by it if she was, instead he was smirking.

  “No.” She capped the bottle. “I think my father depends on you a little too much. You’re not his son, Chase.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Is that what you think? I’m trying to replace Brandon.”

  “I don’t know. Are you?”

  “No, Virginia, I’m not trying to replace your brother.”

  Okay. Now she’d offended him. It seemed like the perfect time to make some movement toward getting out of his bed. Chase took the hint and sat up off of her, giving her freedom to move. Finally she could breathe.

  She mumbled, “Dad could come home early. He wouldn’t be happy if he found me in your room.”

  “Don’t you mean in my bed?”

  “Yeah. That too.”

  “I don’t feel guilty about it.” he stated. The seriousness that accompanied his words had her feeling as if she should run from the room while there was still time.

  “This …” She motioned between the two of them. “Whatever this was … it was...” She was in the process of dragging the sheet with her to hide her nakedness (and shame) when, suddenly his hands were on each side of her face stopping her, his face only inches from hers.

  “A mistake?” His breath warmed her skin.

  She could see the faint sign of stubble along his jaw. Each individual long lash framing his green eyes. Being this close to him always, always made her heart race.

  “I get it, Gin. It’s overwhelming. You feel like it’s too much, but do me a favor, before you go bashing what we have, let me make you happy, even if it’s only for a couple of hours?”

  She swallowed hard and tears welled up in her eyes. “Okay. I’m happy. See.” She forced a smile.

  He laughed, kissed her forehead and leapt from the bed. “You’re about to be really happy. Stay here.”

  “Chase, what have you done?” Virginia called after him.

  “You’ll see,” was yelled from another room.

  She could here shuffling about in some other part of the house. Hopefully it wasn’t another biscuit or even chocolate. She couldn’t eat anything if she tried.

  Chase came back with his button down shirt closed. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was cheesing. Big time. He was hiding something inside his shirt. Virginia wished she could say she wasn’t excited.

  “When I went out for the biscuits …” He peeled opened his shirt and held out a wiggling puppy. It looked no more than eight weeks old. It was brown and black and fuzzy. And absolutely adorable. Her heart swelled.

  He continued, “I saw him in a cardboard box … some guy was giving them away and well,” Chase held the puppy up to his face, cooing at it. “This little guy begged me to bring him to you. He has German Sheppard in him … not sure what else.”

  As he handed her the puppy, its coal black eyes fixated on Virginia. “Chase, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never had a dog.”

  He hooked his thumbs in the back pocket of his jeans, looking a bit embarrassed. “I know. That’s why I thought he’d be extra special.”

  The puppy wouldn’t stay still in Virginia’s arms. He crawled and squirmed up her chest, his pink tongue lapping at her chin. “He’s going to poop all over everything. My father will never let me keep him. He doesn’t like animals.”

  Chase smiled, watching the puppy’s fondness of Virginia. It was a match made in heaven. “I think your father will make an exception this once.”

  He sat down on the side of the bed, lying sideways over Virginia’s stomach on an elbow, just as he had earlier only this time she seemed to not mind. She was giggling and cooing. Reaching out Chase scratched the puppy under its neck. It was putting on quite a show.

  “You are too cute,” Chase said to the puppy. “But your breath stinks.”

  His gaze lifted to find Virginia watching him. “What?”

  “Nothing. I didn’t know you were such an animal lover.”

  “What’s not to love? They love unconditionally. What are you going to name him?”

  Virginia held the puppy up and stared at it for a few moments. It was the stillest she’d seen him since he’d entered the room. “How about Cooper?”

  Chase smiled. “I like it.”

  Eleven

  Most of the afternoon was spent playing with the newest addition to the family.

  “I have to admit he is cute,” her father announced that evening, watching Cooper wiggle backwards on the floor with his bottom hiked up in the air, his tiny tail wagging. Virginia was sitting Indian style in front of Cooper running her hands along the floor. The puppy yapped several times tossing his head, a sound not quite yet a bark. He pounced on her hand and made a show of gnawing it with a viciousness he didn’t even come close to possessing. Eventually he gave up and rolled to his back begging for a belly rub instead.

  Virginia glanced up from the floor to find her father closely watching her from his recliner. The usual deep line between his brows was smooth and he was smiling, genuinely smiling, something she hadn’t seen him do since she’d returned home.

  “So I can keep him?” Virginia pulled Cooper in her lap. “Brandon’s not going to be happy. He’s going to think it’s because of …” Her gaze slid to Chase leaning forward on the couch.

  Her father’s recliner glided, his dusty blue slippers against the floor keeping it going. “Brandon will be fine. I’m willing to admit I should have let you two have a pet growing up. I was wrong.” His smile was gone and the deep line was back.

  Virginia dreaded Brandon finding out. Luckily, she didn’t see Brandon that evening and she’
d gone to bed happier than she’d been in a while.

  Chase made her happy. She didn’t know what to think about that.

  Snuggly down in her covers, Cooper curled up next to her, Virginia couldn’t erase the smile from her face as she drifted off to sleep. So many things were unsettled. She didn’t quite know how she felt anymore. It was no wonder she dreamt:

  “Virginia, have a seat,” the woman said, motioning at the leather chair positioned in front of the desk. The woman was thin and attractive in a professional sort of way. Her dark hair was twisted up in the back, held in place by the pencil stab through the center of the bun. She shuffled folders before reclining slightly in her chair giving Virginia her full attention. “I thought we’d do something new today.”

  Virginia did as she was told and sat in the chair, her hands folded in her lap.

  The office was familiar: a handmade clock ticked on one of the shelves that lined the walls and there was the smell of cinnamon, reminding Virginia of the cinnamon candy canes her mother always brought home around Christmas time.

  “I’m going to say a word and I want you to say the first word that pops into your head. I don’t want you to explain why you chose the word. There is no right or wrong. Then, I want you to use the relaxation techniques we’ve been working on and then I’ll give you the same words and you’ll give me one word, like before. Sound easy enough?”

  “Is this kind of like hypnosis?” Virginia squirmed in her seat, feeling uncomfortable about opening herself up in such unpredictable manner.

  The woman sat forward, crossed her arms on her desk, her pale lips curling. “I like to think of it more as an exercise for the subconscious. Ready?”

  Virginia nodded.

  “Disappointment,” The woman threw out there.

  “Life, “Virginia returned.

  “Control”

  “Chase”

  “Respect”

  “Parents”

  “Family”

  “Brother”

 

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