Just Breathe

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Just Breathe Page 10

by Andrew Daddo


  ‘Not waiting for me today, mate?’ Ethan said.

  Busted.

  Ethan’s running had definitely improved, partly from the training, but also because Hendrix had helped him with his form. Ethan was neater. By using the right muscles in the right way, he had more energy for running.

  ‘I’m not actually running,’ said Hendrix. ‘Just going for a walk. I didn’t think you were coming.’

  ‘But mate, you were leaving early,’ he said, hands out. ‘Mind you, do I look like a walker?’

  Hendrix forced a laugh. ‘You look like a lot of things, but a walker’s not one of them.’

  Ethan started rummaging through his bag. ‘Are you sneaking in a bit of secret training without your partner?’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Yeah, you. How’d you get so good at running, anyway?’ said Ethan.

  He’d never asked before.

  ‘It’s a gift.’

  ‘Pig’s arse, it is. Running’s hard work, we all know it. You barely sweat. You train like a bastard, don’t ya!’ He took off his school tie and set about undoing the buttons of his shirt. ‘If you’re going for a run, you dog. I’m coming.’

  Hendrix shook his head. ‘I’m literally going for a walk. In fact, I’m not even meant to be doing anything. Dad’d have my nuts if he knew. I just don’t want to go home yet.’

  Ethan held his fist up, a kind of solidarity brother salute. ‘I get that. You walking or power walking?’

  ‘Just walking.’

  Ethan kicked his shoes off and put his runners on without changing out of his school socks. ‘Well, I’m comin’ cos you’re full of shit.’

  ‘Fine,’ was the word that came out. Fuck off and leave me alone, was the thought that stayed in Hendrix’s head. ‘You got me, though. I was going to run, one last hit-out before Friday. I think the idea is you have one last bash, then nothing at all for a couple of days before a race. So, we’ll have a crack, eh? But short, just one lap.’

  It was all he could think of to get rid of Ethan. Hendrix would do one hot lap, come back to the sheds, and then he’d go for a walk to cool down and meet Emily. Easy. Ethan never bothered to cool down after training – it was straight back into his civvies and home.

  The boys ran hard. Hendrix let Ethan lead for the first part and once they got to the flats by the river, he changed things up. Ethan stayed with him, even when he put in some real work. It was a surprise to Hendrix; Ethan had gone next level without him noticing. Rounding the corner at the bottom of Anderson Street, Hendrix went wide, just in case Emily and Lucky were there. They’d have to be close by. He checked his watch. The time was about right, maybe he was a bit early, but if she was coming, she wouldn’t be too far away. He had to get back here fast, but first, he had to ditch Ethan.

  It was a weird moment for Hendrix. He’d never have imagined he’d be trying to ditch his new mate, one of the cooler kids at school. But then, he’d never have thought he’d be busting a nut to get back to the Tan to meet a girl and go running with her dog either.

  That’s when he saw her.

  Emily was at the top of Anderson Street, heading down. She was looking at her phone while Lucky bounced about. Emily looked good, the same as he remembered, probably better. Leggings and t-shirt.

  Hendrix accelerated again, pushing hard up the hill, more for her than him. He knew that if Emily saw him coming she’d be like, ‘Wow, look at that guy go.’ Then she’d realise it was Hendrix and be like, ‘Wow, look at my guy go.’

  Hendrix tried not to look at her as he got closer. He wanted to appear focused on his running. Like she was incidental to his being here, not the other way round. He definitely thought he’d appear cooler that way. It would be much better than running up to her like a five-year-old at an ice-cream shop yelling how happy he was to see her.

  But inside, it was a different story. Inside, he was going mad.

  When Emily saw him at the bottom of the hill, she put her face in her phone and let her hair fall over her eyes so she could watch him, without looking like she was.

  He was definitely running hard.

  Emily thought he saw her. He’d been running with his head down, but when he looked up, it was straight at her. She started tapping at the screen of her phone like she was busy, but kept an eye on him. She thought how funny it would be to let Lucky off the lead to trip him over, just to get him back.

  Emily moved off the path a bit to give him room to pass, but it was subtle. There were heaps of people around, anyway. It’s not as if it was just the two of them.

  He was right there, she could hear the wheesh of his breathing, the closing thomp as his feet hit the ground. He didn’t look toward her, and he didn’t look like stopping.

  She could have been wrong, but she was certain he’d seen her. When he got closer he didn’t look at her, and then he went past, all breathy with effort.

  Emily was gobsmacked he didn’t stop. Worse than that, he let out a deep grunt on his way past. Who grunted instead of saying hello? What a dick!

  Hendrix couldn’t believe she didn’t stop him.

  He hadn’t meant to grunt, it just fell out of him with the effort of grinding up the hill. Once he’d started, he had to finish, but guessed Emily would be pretty impressed anyway, so he pushed even harder, grunting all the way up, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh! At the top, he put his hands on his head and started sucking in huge gobfuls of air.

  Hendrix felt so good. He wished he’d had the clock on to see how that time stacked up against other runs up Anderson Street. When he turned he fully expected Emily to be watching. She would have heard the grunts and seen how hard he’d worked, how much effort he’d put in. Jesus, he was impressed, so she must be thinking the performance was something else. Only, she wasn’t looking at all. She was now marching down the hill, dragging Lucky behind her. As she went past Ethan, who was halfway up and walking, he looked at her, then took an extra look at the back of her once she was past. He gave Hendrix a thumbs-up and jogged to the top.

  ‘You’re quicker than I thought,’ he said to Hendrix. ‘You weren’t kidding about blowing out the cobwebs, were ya? I’m glad there’re no hills in the 800 metres, I’d have no chance.’

  You already have no chance, but he didn’t say it. He was more interested in Emily, who was almost at the bottom of Anderson Street. He’d watched her the whole way down.

  ‘Yeah, she’s alright,’ went Ethan. ‘I saw her on the way up. Bit of a sour moosh on her, but otherwise …’

  Emily disappeared around the bottom corner. She hadn’t looked back once.

  Hendrix bit his lip. He had the sinking feeling his thing with Emily was about to end before it’d even started. With his hands still on his head, he walked quickly down the hill.

  ‘Where you goin’?’ called Ethan.

  ‘Just gotta go,’ he said.

  ‘Well, I gotta go this way,’ said Ethan. ‘Mum’s picking me up at five.’

  ‘Good one. See you tomorrow.’

  Hendrix went straight into a canter, worried that if he missed this chance with Emily it would likely be his last. He couldn’t see her when he got around the corner. So, she’d either taken the dog into the gardens, which was illegal, or she’d disappeared.

  ‘Bugger,’ he swore to himself. Should have said hello.

  ‘That’s not very nice,’ came a voice from behind him.

  ‘Huh?’

  It was Emily, sitting on a lump of bluestone against the fence, Lucky in her lap. ‘That language. It’s a bit, you know,’ she frowned, ‘off.’

  Hendrix was embarrassed. And relieved. ‘I thought you’d gone. Thought I’d missed you and Lucky.’

  ‘Yeah, you could have said hi on the way up the hill. You saw me, right?’

  ‘No. Yeah. Well, yeah. I did.’ Hendrix was floundering, smoothing and ruffling his hair at the same time. ‘It’s just that I had to get to the top of Anderson Street, then I could come back and say hi.’ That sounded okay to him. ‘You could have said hi to
me, too.’

  ‘I did,’ went Emily. ‘You mustn’t have heard me.’

  ‘Nah, you didn’t.’

  She stared straight at him. ‘Sure I did. You were too busy grunting to hear me.’

  ‘Was I grunting?’

  He knew he’d been grunting. He’d done it for her benefit, so she could see how hard he was trying.

  Emily’s face went wonky. ‘Uh Uh Uh!’

  ‘I was not like that.’

  ‘Yeah, you were.’ Emily made the face again – she looked like she was going to throw up. Then she stopped and laughed. ‘So, anyway. Lucky asked me if you were going to take her for a run. She said she’s been practising.’

  ‘Have you, Lucky? You want to run, eh?’ He leaned down in front of the dog and said it again, but louder. ‘You wanna run?’

  Lucky jumped at him, trying to get her tongue in his mouth and all over his face at the same time. Of course I want to run, you tool.

  ‘Let’s go. You coming?’

  ‘Nah,’ said Emily. ‘But where are you going to go? I don’t want to have to call the cops again.’

  ‘If you go this way,’ Hendrix pointed along the river, ‘and I go the other way, we should meet up somewhere near the Music Bowl.’

  ‘Because it’s a big loop?’ said Emily.

  ‘Yep, you knew that, right? That the Tan was a big circle people run around?’

  ‘Yeah, well, no. I suppose if I’d thought about it I would have worked it out. I just hadn’t thought about it. Lucky and I just walk one bit of it and walk back, not around it.’

  ‘You ain’t from round here, are you?’ said Hendrix with a wobbly American accent.

  Emily shook her head, then nodded. ‘No. Well, now I am. But no. You going to run Lucky, or not?’

  Hendrix got hold of the lead and jazzed the dog. ‘You go that way, I’ll meet you. It’ll be about nine minutes. Okay?’

  Emily squatted down in front of Lucky, grabbed her by the jowls and said in a funny, deep voice, ‘The grunty boy is going to take you for a run and he’s going to wear you out. Aren’t you, Grunty Boy. If he starts going Uh Uh Uh, don’t worry, apparently that’s normal. And if he’s not fast enough, you drag ’im.’

  ‘We’ll see who does the dragging,’ said Hendrix. ‘Let’s go, Lucky.’

  They took off. And despite all his promises to himself, he ran quite hard. He wanted to wear the dog out. With a similar logic to thinking she’d be impressed by his grunting up the hill, Hendrix figured if he returned an exhausted dog to Emily, she’d think he was some kind of Superman. He ran Lucky like she was about to be kennelled forever, and was a little surprised by the way the dog resisted after hauling up Anderson Street. ‘Come on, Lucky. Come on, ya slob!’ he chided.

  Emily was up on the balls of her feet, trotting almost. Definitely bouncing, close to giddy. The last thing she wanted was to look like a slug. Hendrix was obviously some kind of athlete, so she figured he wouldn’t be interested in someone who moped around an exercise track.

  Lucky liked him, too. She could tell the way she had bounded off. How good? she thought. Imagine. He’s a cool guy, he’s fit and likes dogs. He likes my dog enough to come back and take her for a run and he hardly even knows us. It’d be wicked if we did this every week. Use it as a launch pad to other things. He might ask me out, to the movies or for dinner. What do they even do in town? If it was Benalla, we’d just go to a party, get a bit pissy and hook up, but this is different. It’s the city, not the country. There has to be more options. Where would he take me?

  Her thoughts whirled around until her head spun. Emily practically marched against the current of joggers and mums in spandex pushing three-wheeled prams. She checked her watch. It was only five minutes since they’d split up; he’d said it would be nine before they’d meet again. Nine? Who says nine minutes? It’s five or ten. Four minutes to go. Emily relaxed her body, her posture sliding back to normal, shoulders slumped the littlest bit. At eight minutes, she’d tighten everything up again.

  Hendrix would come from the other direction and would see a girl who looked after herself, who stood straight and proud and would be pretty good to spend time with. She tied her hair into a loose knot so she could unravel it a little later.

  Lucky had stopped running. She wouldn’t even walk. When Hendrix pulled on the lead she hunkered down, pulling her head back like a turtle. He tried lifting her up far enough to get her body off the ground so her legs would take her weight, but when he let go, she just flopped to the ground again. She panted like an asthmatic, wheezing great gulps of air, her tongue dripping slobber that hung on with syrupy tenacity.

  What have I done? he thought.

  If she did move, it was only for a few steps, then Lucky would plonk again. In the end, he picked the dog up and carried her, stopping at a bubbler and trying to hold her still while she drank.

  That’s what they were doing when Emily eventually found them.

  ‘Lucky,’ she said. As soon as Lucky heard Emily’s voice she started wriggling and scrabbling at the air, trying to get to her. Hendrix had to hang on so he didn’t drop her, but in the tussle, Lucky’s sharp little claws tore a hole in his running top. Her foot went through the hole and as she struggled, the hole got bigger. By the time he got her to the ground it was gaping.

  Emily laughed the way parents do when their kids smash something.

  ‘Oh, Lucky, you silly girl. Look what you’ve done. Sorry, Hendrix,’ said Emily. ‘There’s a tap down the bottom for dogs, you know.’

  ‘Now I see it.’

  The hole in his shirt was big enough for him to get his hand through, which he did, pretending it was a puppet and going, ’ello, ’ello.

  Emily thought it was funny, but kept her attention on the dog. ‘Did you have a good run, Lucky? Were you good? Did Hendrix go Uh Uh Uh? Could he keep up?’

  Hendrix wasn’t sure how to tell her. ‘She wouldn’t walk.’

  ‘How do you mean?’ Lucky looked fine to Emily. She was up on her hind legs looking for attention.

  Hendrix laughed. ‘I had to carry her from the corner. She literally wouldn’t get up.’

  ‘Is that right? You slobby doggy!’ Her lips were puckered and she had that deep, you’re-a-bit-of-a-naughty-dog voice on. ‘Are you okay, Lucky?’

  ‘She looks okay, now.’

  ‘She does, doesn’t she. I think you might have been played by a puppy, Hendrix. Is it really Hendrix?’

  ‘Yep. Middle name James.’ He checked his watch. The afternoon was getting away from him.

  ‘Got to go, have you?’ She hoped it hadn’t sounded too disappointed.

  Hendrix winced. ‘Yeah, I’m meant to be home. My dad. You know what they’re like.’

  ‘Yep,’ said Emily. ‘So, what are you running from?’

  Hendrix clucked. ‘Huh?’

  ‘Well, you were sprinting up the hill as if someone was after you.’

  Hendrix smiled. ‘I thought you didn’t see me.’

  It was Emily’s turn to grin. ‘Yeah, well. I’m guessing I didn’t see you the same as you didn’t see me.’

  ‘I wasn’t sure if it was you. Like, I saw you, just, you know –’

  ‘I know,’ went Emily. ‘So, what are you running from?’ Hendrix barely thought before replying. ‘It’s what I’m running to,’ he said. ‘You want to come? There’s a race on Friday, the District Championships. It’s no big deal, we could do something after, maybe.’

  He didn’t look at her while he said it, focusing on the hole in his running top.

  Emily continued to pat Lucky.

  ‘Friday? This Friday? After school? That could be good.’

  It was kind of like a date, she thought. A first step to a next step. A bit like the movies before dinner, or dinner before making out. Or making out before ….

  ‘No, it’s during school.’ Hendrix realised what that meant. ‘That would be a no for you. You’ll have school, right?’

  Emily looked up from the dog. �
�Yeah, but where is it?’

  ‘Olympic Park. It goes all day, but the 800 metres is on in the afternoon, I think. Maybe around two?’

  Hendrix knew his race was scheduled for 2:27 and exactly how the day would go. He’d be on the hypoxic mask from the time he woke up to the time he went to the track, which would be around midday. He knew he’d be stretching quietly until 1:00, and that his father would have him warming up after that. If it was sunny, he would spend most of his time in the shade, only going into the sun for brief spells to acclimatise but never long enough to get hot.

  He knew exactly what was going to happen because he had been through it a dozen times with his dad. After the race, it’d be straight to South Melbourne Beach for a walk through the shallows.

  As much as he thought it was a good idea to have Emily at the race, there clearly wasn’t time for her.

  ‘You know what, it’s going to be nuts. Forget it.’

  She watched his face change as he thought himself out of her going along to watch. It felt like he was blowing her off.

  Hendrix tried to save it. ‘We could meet again next week, though? Try again with Lucky?’

  ‘Oh, yeah,’ she said. ‘I guess so. It should be okay, I think. Same time?’

  ‘Perfect.’ Hendrix turned to go, but stopped before he’d gone anywhere. ‘You never told me your last name.’

  ‘Digman. Emily Digman. My Instagram’s DigEm02 if you were wondering. I’m on Facebook, as well. See ya.’

  Yanking Lucky, Emily turned, and most definitely did not look back. Her heart was thumping. She couldn’t wait to see how long it would take for him to follow her.

  Dog photos. Heaps of them. Lucky on a couch, Lucky in a front yard. That must be her mum, thought Hendrix as he scrolled through her Instagram feed. Some dudes making faces. Dudes with their tongues out. An older bloke in hard yakkas – her Dad, probably. There were pictures of a younger girl that might be her sister. It was nice, they had their arms around each other. More animal photos, like farm animals. Girls with their tongues poking out. What is it with the tongues? A bunch of big kids slobbing around a little pond, or maybe that was a dam. A couple of photos looking grossed out by a strange-looking prawn someone was holding up. Not one bikini photo. And no photos hanging off the arm of some bloke in a way that says they might be more than mates.

 

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