by Andrew Daddo
Hendrix’s heart did a little jig when he saw Emily at the top of Anderson Street. She was wearing a t-shirt, tights and runners. Lucky pulled against the lead as he approached.
‘Luckyyyyy,’ he went, feeling like a bit of a dick.
‘Hey!’ said Emily, pulling the dog back. ‘What? No “Emilyyyyyyyyyyyyy”?’
‘Emilyyyyyyyyy.’ Hendrix squirmed. All that being cool and hanging back had gone to shit. He rubbed Lucky’s head as she jumped up to him, getting her paws onto his shorts.
‘Oopsie,’ said Emily at the dirt left behind. ‘That’ll brush off, but I’ll let you do that.’
New day, new rules. He wanted to grab her face as she’d grabbed his and jump right in. ‘I guess I’m running Lucky,’ he said, hanging back a bit because Emily hadn’t come forward.
‘Nah, let’s walk her together,’ said Emily. ‘I told you I’m not meant to run, but I can walk. It can be our first kind of thing, you know.’
‘A thing,’ he said. ‘Yeah, we can have walking as a thing. Is that what you mean?’
‘Yep. For now,’ Emily said, a glint in her eye.
‘Sweet. Hey. How’s your head?’ He tried to make it sound like he hadn’t given it a lot of thought.
‘It’s fine. Much better, thanks,’ she lied. ‘Hanging out on top of my shoulders, again.’
They walked down Anderson Street and she steered him across the road to the Yarra. Emily had been ready for the headache questions, and she hoped to divert his attention. The last thing she wanted to do was scare Hendrix off by telling him the volcano at the base of her brain was now officially active and no one was sure how to plug it. Things were morbid enough at Astrid’s. Hendrix was her ticket away from the worry.
Whenever Lucky tried to get the pace going, Emily yanked her back. She told the dog to chill out. Lucky would for a while, then she’d try to get ahead again. It was fine, it gave them something to talk about. What goes through dogs’ brains, what they’re really doing when they’re sniffing everything.
Hendrix wondered aloud, ‘Like, is there good and bad smells for dogs, or are they all just smells. Do they hit the smell of something totally rancid and think, “You beauty! I love that smell!” Or is it more like, “Holy shit, that is rank.”’
They tried to think of the worst possible smells for dogs to come across. Worse than shit or farts or spew. It got filthy, but they struggled to imagine a smell a dog wouldn’t go for.
‘Roadkill is bad. Old roadkill. You can smell it from miles away,’ Emily offered. ‘Our farm dogs love it! We had a dog that jumped out of dad’s ute one time so he could rub himself in the carcass of a dead kangaroo. Nearly had to put the dog down he stunk so bad. Washed him twenty times and he was never allowed inside again. Not once.’
‘Bullshit,’ laughed Hendrix, giving Emily a gentle bump in the side. Their hands touched as he did.
Emily took hold and hung on. ‘Yeah, it’s bullshit,’ she said. ‘Bet it is hard to wash the smell out though.’
Hendrix laughed. He was happy holding hands with her. The bounce in his step matched hers. ‘Saw a thing once where some adventure guy slept in the guts of a dead giraffe to keep warm in Africa. That was gross.’
Emily’s face contorted at the thought. ‘That’s disgusting. We ate fresh roadkill once, to see what it was like.’
‘No, you didn’t.’
Emily stopped. ‘Yeah, we did. It was yummy. Kangaroo.’
Hendrix stood in front of her. ‘I am absolutely calling bullshit on that.’
Emily was smiling at him, Hendrix at her. She let the dog lead slip off her wrist onto the ground. Hendrix turned towards her and gently took hold of both her hands.
She shook her head. ‘We did. It was fresh. Like, it literally just happened. It was sad because it was a joey. Dad picked it up, put it in the boot and we took it home.’
‘Nope. Bullshit, bullshit.’ He moved closer. ‘You’re smiling, your eyes are literally twinkling. Tell me with a straight face and I’ll believe you.’
Emily tried to control the corners of her mouth. ‘It’s true. But it was for dog food. People in the bush do it all the time. Only, Mum cooked some up and we ate it. Beautiful. Fat free. And, it’s the truth.’ She craned up toward him, still unable to stop smiling. Hendrix bent forward to kiss her. ‘Beautiful,’ she said as their mouths touched.
‘Mmmm,’ went Hendrix, along for the ride.
Emily pulled her head back. ‘The kangaroo. It was beautiful.’
She got him; Hendrix stepped back, an embarrassed look on his face. She pressed forward, pulling his hands back to her. ‘You’re pretty beautiful, too.’
They stayed locked together like that until there was the squeal of tyres from the road and a dog yelped.
‘Lucky!’ went Emily, spinning toward the sound. She scanned the road for her dog, but Lucky was fine, face down in some old foil pie dish under a picnic table. Hendrix got hold of the lead and pulled her away.
They walked on, all the way to the rowing sheds. The only time the conversation stopped was when they made out. It never got feverish and desperate like the first time. The kisses felt like they meant something.
Emily savoured every moment.
By the time they were both late for home, the goodbye blew into forever. Like it really was the end. Emily went one way, Hendrix the other. They kept walking and turning and waving and if anyone was watching they would have pissed themselves.
Hendrix stopped in the middle of the path and watched her walk. The next time Emily turned, she also stopped. It was like something out of a Western, a fifty-metre stare-down. She waved. Hendrix took a step toward her. Then another. When Emily started walking, he ran hard toward her. He skidded to a stop. She was giggling and tried to wrap her arms around his neck, but he held her at a distance. ‘Hey,’ he puffed. ‘How’d you know the kangaroo was fresh?’
‘Dad hit it.’ She laughed. ‘Silly little thing jumped straight in front of our car. We wouldn’t just eat random roadkill roo. We’re not animals!’
Inertia gave way to momentum: Hendrix and Emily were off and hurtling. Real life got mixed up with fantasy and they ached for each other.
Hendrix trained when he wasn’t at school, but his father sensed a shift in focus. He’d noticed Hendrix’s phone blurting and whining more than it ever had, and Hendrix was more protective of the sender.
Paul knew it had to be Emily, and the idea of a girl in competition for his son’s attention worried and annoyed him. This wasn’t the time to scrimp on training or lose focus.
‘It’s a crush,’ Paul told himself. ‘It’ll end soon enough.’ It better, he thought. If the two kids got beyond giddy, everything could go to shit.
Hand on heart, Hendrix was ready to tell Emily he loved her after the first week. He was smitten. Barely a thought got from one side of his head to the other without Emily being part of it. She was his good morning and good night, and if he woke when it was dark, the thought of her kept him company until he drifted off to dream about her. Emily jumbled his numbers, mixed up his sentences and gave him something to run to when he trained. He waded through the hours until he could float with Emily. Like the yin to his yang, he saw her as everything he wasn’t. She was free, and spontaneous, and funny.
The more time he spent with her, the more he could see what he’d been missing. He’d barely had a life outside of running. It had always been his purpose and it’d been enough. Not only did he love it, but he yearned for it: nothing got in the way because nothing would ever be as important. Now, it was like someone had stuck a detour sign in the middle of his life and he was desperate to find out where it would take him.
Emily would meet him after school and the two of them would walk toward home. They crapped on about nothing and everything mattered.
Emily couldn’t believe her luck. How was it she had to practically die to meet someone like Hendrix? There wasn’t a moment she didn’t want to spend with him. Literally. Wasn’t balance meant to
be the answer to everything? And if it was, how could Hendrix spend all his time training? It didn’t make sense to be all or nothing. She could definitely see how she could fit into his world, but she was probably in the way as well – at least until the season was over.
Emily wasn’t certain she’d last that long.
‘I get it, Hendrix. But, it’s like you’re superhuman already. You could miss a few of your sessions. No one can train that much.’
They were on the way home from school. Hendrix had his school tie off and wanted to dawdle but knew he was expected home.
‘I could, couldn’t I!’ he said, buoyed by the possibility of wagging training. ‘If only it were that easy. The problem is, it’s not just me that’s invested, it’s Dad, as well.’
‘Yeah, but. What good’s a dream that’s costing you this?’ She jumped in front of him and blocked his path. ‘Yeah? This is the dream, baby.’
‘I think I’ve had that dream,’ he laughed sheepishly.
She punched him in the guts and pretended to be offended. ‘Seriously. Can’t you wag one session a week? I have to see you.’
He let loose a big sigh and shook his head. ‘I guess I could. I just can’t get caught, cos Dad’ll kill me. And if he doesn’t kill me, I’ll have to fight off the death wobbles of guilt.’
Hendrix was torn. State titles loomed large, right there on the horizon. The closer they got, the stronger their gravitational pull. His father got more and more intense. He wanted to know where Hendrix was and what he was doing every minute of the day. There was an equation for everything. Food, energy, rest, sleep: his whole life was measured and dumped onto a spreadsheet for his father’s exploration. Hendrix was part of an algorithm, and if it worked, if he worked, everyone would benefit.
‘I can’t afford to mess it up.’
Emily stopped walking. ‘As opposed to messing this bit up?’ she said, waving her hand between the two of them. ‘I reckon you’d be feeling pretty shitty about that, too.’
Hendrix was meant to be in the hyperbaric tent for at least an hour, but he left early. They met at La Strada in Albert Park and argued over the merits of an Aussie pizza versus Hawaiian. ‘They’re exactly the same thing,’ said Hendrix, looking up at the menu board. ‘But the Aussie’s got an egg. It’s a bacon and egg pizza with pineapple.’
‘How’s a pizza like that meant to be an Aussie?’ Emily whispered it, giving her a chance to snuggle into him.
Hendrix let her in.
‘Dunno, but it’s pretty rank. How about a half and half? Neopolitan and Meatlovers?’
‘Bingo,’ she said. They ordered and sat opposite each other at a table near the door.
Emily reached across the table for his hand. ‘Missed ya.’
‘Same,’ said Hendrix. ‘I’m getting smarter, though. I left my phone at home so Dad can’t track me, not that he would. A bit paranoid, you think?’ He was talking himself into a circle. ‘It’s just, if he knew I was about to guts a pizza I’d have to be fingers down the throat to get rid of it before I got home. He’s on a calorie crush. It’s nuts. Nuts and protein, actually.’
‘He’s so full on,’ she said. ‘Is there a chance you might over train? I don’t know anything about it, but you wouldn’t want to peak too early. You’d hate to get to the big moment and be spent.’
‘We’re still talking about running, aren’t we?’ He laughed. ‘Things will relax soon, you’ll see.’
‘Yeah, but … what about us getting to do fun stuff now. Not all the time, just some of it.’
Hendrix laughed again. ‘I do like the sound of that. A lot.’ He hoped his smile was hopeful, not sleazy. ‘It’s a month to the end of the season, then you’d better look out. For now, it’s just not that easy.’
‘For either of us. My mum’s treating me like a nine-year-old. The only time I get to see you is when I walk the dog, and even then, most of the time Mum wants to come. When I’m not with her I’m meant to be with Siss, which is fine, but it’s bad enough with the dog watching us crack on – it’d be really awkward with Siss. That sounded a bit gross, didn’t it? Crack on.’
‘Here’s an idea. We should go away,’ said Hendrix. He’d thought about it a hundred times but never seriously.
‘That would be awesome,’ went Emily. ‘About as likely as winning Lotto. You’ve got less chance of getting away than me, and I’ve got none. I have to see Dr Harrington once a week, and when I’m not seeing him, I have to be close enough that if something goes mental in my head, I can get to him quickly. As for you, forget it.’
Hendrix nodded, knowing there was no way around that. ‘What are you doing for the holidays, anyway?’
Emily guffawed. ‘I could be dead by the holidays. Or not.’
‘That’s not funny.’ He pulled his hand back to his side of the table. ‘You are joking.’
‘Of course. Geez.’ They demolished the pizza. Hendrix wanted another, Emily said he should have it. ‘The way you run it’d be out of your guts in five minutes. One pizza’s not going to hurt you. Two’d probably be good for you. Eat, Hendrix, eat – you’re so thin!’
She sounded like a grandma. Hendrix wet the tip of his finger and used it to gather the crumbs from the plate.
‘I’ll be right,’ he said.
‘How about an ice-cream?’
‘Nup.’
‘How about you take me to the park and –’
‘Yes!’
‘I didn’t finish.’
‘You don’t have to. I can figure that bit out.’ He had her by the hand again, and she squirmed back in her seat as the footsies started.
‘Pizza at four o’clock in the afternoon? Really?’ It was Emily’s mum.
Emily pulled her hand from Hendrix’s, his foot dropped to the floor.
‘Mum?’
‘Well, hello, darling. I saw Lucky tied up on the pole out the front and here you are. Lucky it’s not the pub next door, I suppose. Hi, I’m Anna, Emily’s mum. I’m guessing you’re Hendrix.’
He was caught halfway between standing and sitting. ‘Hi,’ he managed.
‘Well, hi yourself. Don’t go anywhere, I’ll get Siss.’ She gave Emily a look, which Hendrix couldn’t read, but made Emily giggle and go, ‘Eeek!’
Busted.
When Anna came back he’d found his feet and a bit of his composure. She said, ‘And this is Siss, Emily’s little sister. It’s a shame her dad’s not here, we could have had a big family dinner.’
Siss did a little wave and studied Hendrix. With eyebrows up, she nodded. ‘Hi,’ she said.
Everyone sat down.
Awks, she mouthed. Then he nearly levitated as he felt a foot rub against the inside of his leg. If Anna saw, she didn’t let on.
‘I have to go,’ Hendrix said, not really trusting himself to stand but not seeing an alternative.
‘No, please,’ said Anna. ‘Not because of us.’
‘No, definitely not,’ he managed. ‘I actually have to go. Like, I have to.’
‘More training?’ said Anna.
‘She knows.’ Emily shrugged. ‘No biggie.’
‘Good to meet you, then,’ said Hendrix. ‘See ya, Em.’
He waved from the door, completely bummed to be leaving but knowing he was for it when he got home. He got about thirty metres down the road before stopping and jogging back.
‘Hey, Em,’ he said, poking his head through the door. ‘I gotta show you something quickly.’ He stepped back outside so she had to follow. The moment she was clear of the door, he grabbed her and planted a kiss on her mouth. ‘See ya,’ he said. ‘You round same time next week?’
‘I’ve got to see you before next week.’
‘You know I can’t.’
‘You know you can, just find a way.’ She kissed him again and turned to go back inside. ‘And there is a way.’
As far as Hendrix could figure it, short of wagging a day of school, there was no way. Three weeks ago, he wouldn’t have dreamt about missing a training
session, but the possibility of time with Emily was turning him inside out.
He’d texted Emily, saying to meet him down the road from school at two o’clock. He had a free period and knew she wasn’t at school in the afternoons.
No Lucky.
She sent one back immediately.
But you love Lucky.
Good point. You stay home. Does Lucky know the way to school?
She’ll be there.
Ask her not to be late.
She said woof.
When Hendrix walked out of school, Emily was across the road watching him. He didn’t see her because he wasn’t looking, expecting to find her further down the street. When she wolf whistled, he found it impossible not to look around and beamed at the sight of her.
‘I was whistling at the bloke behind, not you, mate.’
He jogged across the road and walked alongside. It was too close to school to kiss her hello, but that didn’t stop Emily leaning in. ‘Haven’t you got some training to do?’ she said, unable to keep the glee out of her voice.
‘Haven’t you got a class you should be at?’ He was equally thrilled. She grabbed his hand and started to drag him toward the gardens, but he kept her on the path down the road. ‘Let’s do something different.’
She knew he’d want to eat, and was surprised when he veered off before the shops into the indoor rock-climbing place. ‘I’ve always wanted to do this,’ he said. ‘You climb?’
She took a step and back and laughed. ‘Do I look like I climb?’
He wouldn’t have it. ‘Don’t be a wuss. It’s supposed to be easy.’ Emily ran her fingers through her hair and clasped her hands behind her head. She rubbed her neck and thought this might be the moment to fess up.
‘I’ll watch you, eh? How about that? If you don’t fall and break your neck, maybe I’ll have a go.’