by Andrew Daddo
Emily decided to fess up. If her mum said no, she’d go to plan B, or C or run away.
When her mum got home, Emily was ready for her. The kettle was full, there was a peppermint teabag in the teapot and a pack of biscuits on the bench.
‘So, Mum,’ she started.
‘So, Emily,’ was the reply, with a peck on the cheek and a bit of a squeeze.
‘How would you feel if I went camping for a night?’
‘Not great, darling. I wouldn’t feel great about that in any way, because –’
Emily finished the sentence for her. ‘Nothing’s going to happen. Nothing has happened in, like, a month.’ She had her back to her mum, pouring water into the teapot.
When she turned, her mother studied her face. ‘Sorry, darl, but it’s no.’
Emily stared back. ‘What if I said I’m going to go anyway.’
It wasn’t mean or rude or antagonistic, just a fact passed with a cup of tea for company.
Her mum took a breath and then exhaled slowly, trying to figure out the best way forward. She took the teacup, held it in both hands and put her head to one side. ‘Then, I’m guessing you will go.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yep. I suppose you will, and I’ll come, too.’
Emily guffawed. ‘Oh God, Mum.’ The thought unfolded instantly and it was horrifying. Could three of them fit in a two-man tent? ‘You can’t, Mum.’
‘I can,’ said her mum through a growing smirk. ‘Haven’t you heard that song, “If You Leave Me, Can I Come, Too”?’
‘No, Mum.’ Emily’d be all loved up with Hendrix and her mum would be right there. Hungry, guys? You eating your greens? Who’s up for a song around the fire? ‘You can’t come, you’re not invited.’
Mum stuck at it, getting serious. ‘Not camping with you, Em. But I could be around. In town or up the road or somewhere kind of nearby. Just in case, you know?’
Emily could feel the life ebb out of her excitement. She should have just gone. She stood up and turned for the kitchen door. Her mother stopped her.
‘Em.’
Here it comes, thought Emily. The guilt trip from hell.
Her mum’s voice was soft. ‘If you’re going to go camping, you’re going to go. You’re not a hostage. But if you really want to camp, and God knows why you would, let’s at least work out the smartest way to do it. Let’s put some rules around it, just in case. If I feel better about it, you probably will, too.’
Emily was gobsmacked.
‘Seriously, Mum? I can really go?’ Against all odds, her mum was onside.
‘Here’s the deal, young lady,’ she said, without a hint of sarcasm. ‘You’ll have to be in phone range. No drugs. It’s Tess and Raney you’re camping with, right? A bit of old-style camping like you all used to? They’re pretty good, aren’t they?’ Emily nodded. ‘And don’t get wasted. That’s the big one for me, okay? You can’t drink, and you definitely can’t take drugs. None. Not even the sniff of a joint.’
‘Mum! As if!’
‘Yeah right. Saint Emily you ain’t!’
Emily came around the bench and put her arms around her mother. She couldn’t have been more surprised, especially given she’d been so smotherish lately. Her mum squeezed her back. ‘Would it matter if it wasn’t with Raney and Tess?’ whispered Emily. She felt her stiffen and, after taking a long breath, let it out in a rush. Her mum tried to untangle herself but Emily held her tight.
‘Not Hendrix.’
‘Yep.’
‘You’re sixteen, Emily.’
‘Nearly seventeen, Mum.’
‘Yeah well, you’re not even close to seventeen. I might need a minute to think about that.’
Emily hugged her a little tighter. ‘Pleeeease?’
‘Nup.’
‘Muuuuum!’
‘Nah. Really, Emily. It’s no. You can’t. You’re kids. You’re not ready. You think you’re ready, but you’re not.’ Now she did break free of her daughter’s clutches and turned to look at her. ‘It’s too big a step, Em. I’m sorry.’
Emily turned away. It wasn’t a tantrum or even the start of one, more a disappointed huff until she figured out what to do. ‘Em,’ said her mum. ‘Emily. You have to understand.’
‘Yeah, well. What if?’
‘What if, what?’
Emily turned and looked at her mum, tears in her eyes. ‘What if I don’t get another chance?’
‘Oh, Em. You’ve got plenty of time for that. You’ve got time for everything.’
‘I don’t though, do I? Or I might not, Mum.’
‘Emily.’ Her mum was indignant. ‘Of course you will. You’re fine.’ But the tears that welled in her eyes spoke the thought she was thinking. ‘Don’t say that.’
Emily countered – not trying to hurt her mum, just saying it as she understood it. ‘But that’s pretty much what the doctor said, didn’t he? We don’t exactly know what’s going to happen. Not really. Remember? So, I might not, Mum.’
‘Don’t, Emily.’ Anna exhaled. She was battling to hang on, trying to put a positive face on her very real fears. ‘Don’t say it, Emily. Goddamn it! You don’t say any of that!’
‘But we don’t know,’ Emily almost yelled. ‘The doctors don’t have a clue. All I’m saying is – I want to live and experience everything in case I don’t get the chance. I’m trying to be smart about it, Mum.’
She hadn’t meant to cry, but the tears got hold of her and spilled out, and what began with a trickle had worked it’s way into a heaving waterfall. All she wanted was to do the stuff normal teenagers got to do. And maybe some of the stuff they didn’t.
Her mum’s hopeless, pitiful expression just made it worse. There was no need for her to say she was sorry, that there was nothing she could do, because it was stamped all over her face: deep lines creased her forehead and dark circles hung like bruises below her eyes.
‘Come here,’ she said.
‘Don’t want to.’
‘Come here,’ her mother said again, this time with her arms out. ‘Ya mum needs a hug.’
They met halfway and her mum held on as if she might never let go.
‘Is he a good boy?’ she whispered eventually.
‘Yes, Mum.’
‘Is he nice to you? Does he respect you and look after you and call you when you least expect it?’
Emily felt like she was slipping into a warm bath. Mum was smiling a bit now, she could feel it. ‘He does, Mum,’ went Emily.
‘Does he love you, Em?’
‘Muuuum.’
‘As long as he thinks he loves you, eh? There’s going to be rules all over this. Rule one, we keep it from your dad.’
His father had a bag of pre-organised meals ready by the morning.
‘Whatever slop they’ll be serving up will be utter shit, so eat this instead. They’re labelled but you’ll work it out. Wraps for lunch, energy bars for snacks and make sure you get the Tupperware into a fridge and have it heated for dinner. You packed?’
He was pissed off and agitated and talking very quickly. ‘Got your full-length compressions to sleep in? I can’t believe you didn’t say anything. Made me sound like an ogre. I don’t want to stop you doing stuff like this, it’s important, but this is the end of it, right? After this, full training. No excuses.’
He dug his hands into his pockets, ripped them out, folded his arms and shook his head. ‘Two weeks to States, Four to Nationals. Work, recover. Work, recover. The boy from nowhere, that’ll be you.’ He brightened with that.
Hendrix still couldn’t believe his father had said yes. Another day or two and it would have been no chance. Hendrix realised how big a compromise this was for his father.
To pay him back, Hendrix promised himself that when he got home he’d apply himself full throttle. Hendrix couldn’t give a shit how much it hurt, he’d work like a dog from the moment he got back to the moment he became national champion. Even better, he’d win with a world junior qualifying time.
Beep Beep! A car horn blew from out the front of the house.
‘Who’s that?’
Hendrix looked out the window. ‘Ethan. What the?’
Ethan barged through the front door in full khaki as if he were going to war. Talk about overplaying it.
‘Where’s your stuff, we’re nearly late. I’ll give you a hand,’ he said. ‘Morning, Mr Hendrix,’ he said, saluting.
Hendrix’s dad started flapping. ‘It’s six-thirty! I thought I was dropping you off at seven? What’s this?’
Ethan was looking about like he’d forgotten something. ‘Tent? Where is it? Geez, mate, we’re gonna be late. We’ve still got to pick up Skaz.’
‘I thought we were using your tent?’ Hendrix bawled. He bolted for the laundry and was back with the tent within moments. ‘Okay, that’s it then.’
Hendrix’s father looked perplexed, not an expression his face wore well.
‘Stop. I said I would drive him to school.’
‘Yeah, nah. No worries about that,’ went Ethan, shouldering Hendrix’s bag. ‘Snagged a lift, thought I’d share the love. Got shoes, Hendrix?’
Hendrix looked at his bare feet. He grabbed his shitty runners, the tent and the bag of food, making a meal of trying to carry them all at the same time.
‘See ya, Dad. Thanks.’
‘Back tomorrow, right?’
‘Yep.’
‘We can drop him off,’ said Ethan over his shoulder. ‘Come on, come on.’
Hendrix rushed after him, still struggling with all the stuff he was trying to carry.
‘Drix,’ said his dad.
‘See ya, Dad. Love ya.’
‘Drix!’
Reluctantly, Hendrix hovered in the doorway. ‘Yeah, Dad? Gotta go.’
He knew if he could get out of the house quickly, he’d be away. The start was everything in a race like this. Miss it, and he was doomed.
‘See ya, Drix. Get some sleep. Don’t eat the shit food. We start work tomorrow when you get back, okay? Be ready.’
He was still flustered; the ambush from Ethan had taken a minute at most. It was perfect.
Almost before Hendrix got in the car, Ethan was yelling, ‘Go! Go! Go!’ and his older brother responded by leaning hard on the gas pedal.
‘Well hello, loverboy,’ he said once the car was clear of the first roundabout. ‘Where to?’
‘What the–?’ went Hendrix, sure he looked as surprised as his dad had.
Ethan pissed himself like some deviant genius. ‘I couldn’t tell you because your acting’s shit and you would’ve given the game away. Besides, if your dad dropped you at school, you’d be rooted because there’s no one going on a camp. No buses, no kids in camo, no teachers in cork hats, nothing. This way, we get you out quick, your dad’s thinking it’s legit, and you get home tomorrow carrying on saying you’re shagged because you haven’t had any sleep and you’re not lying about any of it!’ Then he really laughed, in exactly the same note as his brother. ‘It was my brother’s idea. He’s fuckin’ evil.’
Hendrix was literally bursting. He hadn’t thought they could pull it off, despite the planning. He’d be wagging two days of school, but they’d knocked up a note for Ethan to deliver to take care of that. All he had to do was have a good time and be back by five the next day when he’d get another lift home from Ethan and his brother with the promise of fifty bucks once he got hold of it.
It had actually worked. Fucking genius. Hendrix had a sleeping bag, food and a tent. Ethan’s brother was taking him to the station where he’d meet Emily and from there, it was anyone’s guess.
They’d bloody done it.
Hendrix was dropped a little way down from Flinders Street Station and walked up to the clocks to wait, his pile of stuff beside him. Catching a glimpse of himself in a passing bus, he imagined himself as a country boy arriving in the big smoke. Wearing the camping gear had sounded like a good idea to get out of the house but it killed him in the fashion stakes.
The day was beautiful. Perfect sunshine, no wind. Seagulls and pigeons and people everywhere. He wanted to text Emily but couldn’t because his phone was at home, uncharged and in airplane mode. Another of Ethan’s big ideas. If his dad did get wind of the scam, he couldn’t call him. Even better, if he got hold of his phone and charged it, he wouldn’t be able to access it or see any of the messages because none of them would come through with the data turned off. Hendrix was literally invisible.
He checked his watch again before looking up and down the road for Emily.
It was the first sniff he had she might not make it. She’d said she would. Her mum knew all of it, so at least she wasn’t scampering off like some deviant the way he had. She might have got cold feet, or worse, her parents might have changed their minds. He couldn’t blame them.
But she couldn’t contact him to let him know.
The traffic was shit.
Emily’s mum had insisted on driving her to the station. Had they taken a tram it would have been twice as quick, but the extra time in the car was a bonus. Emily was able to reassure her mum she’d be fine. Her mum used the time to remind her of what she could and couldn’t do.
‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.’
‘I know, Mum. I won’t.’
‘No drugs.’
‘Mum, he’s like an uber athlete. If he’s got anything, it’ll be steroids.’
Anna laughed. ‘They might be good. You’ll ring me if you need me?’
‘Yep.’
‘And if I ring you, you’ll pick up?’
‘Yes, Mum. But please don’t keep ringing me.’
‘And once you’ve got there safely, you’ll tell me where you are. Drink plenty of water, no grog, right? Not a drop. Good food, too. Don’t eat chips and shit like that.’
‘Yes, Mum. He doesn’t eat chips and shit.’
‘He eats pizza. Chips aren’t far from pizza.’
‘Mum.’
Rounding the corner from Swanson Street, Emily saw Hendrix under the clocks. He had a floppy hat on his head, a grey t-shirt and a pair of those lightweight spew-green pants that zip off into shorts. He was beautiful. Lean and powerful, looking around, checking his watch, looking around again.
‘There he is,’ said Emily.
‘Far out,’ went her mum. ‘He’s pretty okay, isn’t he? You sure you don’t want me to come, too?’
She’d slowed to a stalkerish crawl, craning to get a look.
‘Yep, Mum. Drop me down there, please. I want to sneak up behind him and give him a “Guess who?”’
The only place to stop was a taxi rank, so any thoughts her mum had of a long goodbye were shattered when a Silver Top got up their arse and blasted its horn.
‘Jesus! I’m trying to say goodbye!’ yelled Mum.
Emily jumped out of her seat, ripping open the back door and grabbing her stuff. There wasn’t much. An overnight bag with a change of clothes, jumper and sleeping bag. She’d explained a hundred times that Hendrix had all the camping stuff, and it was only for a night, anyway. Mum had given her snacks and cash if she got desperate. She jumped out of the car to hug Emily, and the cab driver’s face turned crimson.
‘Love you. Please be careful. Please.’
They held each other until the taxi driver couldn’t cope anymore.
Her mum managed an awkward, waving jog back to her car.
‘I bloody love you, Em.’
‘I bloody love you, too, Mum.’
Emily held her spot on the curb and waved until her mum took off. It gave her a chance to get rid of the tears, but also to gather her thoughts before sneaking up on Hendrix.
Excited, nervous, and marginally mental was how she felt. On the verge of maybe the greatest thing ever. Better than Bieber. Better than Kanye and Beyonce and Ed Sheeran all rolled into one. Emily shouldered her pack and walked quickly to the station.
Anna stopped at the
first available parking spot to figure out if she was, in fact, the world’s worst parent. She felt trapped. She couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to Emily. But also, if the worst-case scenario took hold, Anna hated the thought of having got in the way of her chance to really live. It was awful.
After skipping through a few tracks and steeling herself with ‘Leaps and Bounds’, Anna did what she’d kind of promised she wouldn’t. Love you, darling, let me know when you get there, she tapped on her phone. And as she was about to send it, Anna thought, Bugger it, I’m calling.
Then she thought about not calling, showing some backbone and trust and leaving them be, because that’s all Emily really wanted. But bugger it was stronger.
She dialled the number, her thumb loitered over the green button, and pressed. She was surprised to hear a phone ringing in the car at exactly the same time she was calling Emily.
It was Emily’s phone, in the car. Jammed down between the console and the passenger seat.
She’d forgotten her phone.
‘Shit. Shit!’ Anna hightailed it back to the station, parking in a clearway and running inside. She had Emily’s phone out and was using it as a kind of divining stick, pointing it, hoping to be delivered to Emily.
It was useless. They were gone, but not north to Benalla. Hendrix and Emily were heading south to Frankston, then a bus, maybe two, until they found the perfect spot on the coast. No phones. No contact. They had everything they needed for one whole night together, nothing more, and certainly nothing less.
Emily had snuck up behind Hendrix and put her hands around his eyes. He’d jumped at first then leaned back into her before turning and putting his arms around her shoulders. They’d kissed, kind of like the first time. Emily was quick to break it off, saying, ‘Get your gear, let’s go. We haven’t got long, let’s not waste it.’
Tickets. Two hot chocolates. A donut each and a bag of chips to share; they were off.