by Hope Ford
“See you next week, Cora.” The veteran waves at me as he walks away, giving Patton a look that screams, I hope you can talk some sense into her.
“I’m not by myself. I know a lot of these people. Look around. You’ve probably seen half of them at the hospital.”
I don’t even bother looking around. “It doesn’t matter if I know them or not. It’s not safe for a woman to be alone like this... Anything could happen to you, Cora.”
I barely resist rolling my eyes. “Really, Patton? I’ve been doing this every week for a year now. And that whole year you spent ignoring me... you can’t just all of a sudden care now what I’m doing or what I’m up to.”
He crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at me. Man, he looks angry. “No more solo trips under the bridge. If you want to come, I’ll come with you.”
I’m still feeling so surprised by seeing him that it takes a minute for it all to sink in that he’s scolding me and trying to boss me around. “Wait a second,” I say, avoiding his hand when he goes to take hold of mine. “What gives you the right to come down here and tell me what to do or not do? You’re not my boss.”
“I’m someone who cares what happens to you, Cora,” he says.
I have to hold on to my anger with both hands not to let his words flatter me into forgetting why I’m upset. “Right, so that’s why you haven’t even returned even one of my many, many calls? I’m afraid that claim doesn’t hold water, Doc.”
“I already told you that I can’t take advantage of your sense of duty-”
Not about to hear that load of crap again, I cut in, “Yeah, you don’t want to be around me because you’ve decided you’re at fault because you somehow have the power over death. I remember. Well, no worries, Patton. I release you from your obligation. You don’t have to force yourself to be around me.”
“Force myself?” He sounds like I made an incredulous claim.
I gesture for him to go. “I know what I’m doing, so you don’t have to be guilty where I’m concerned. Just go, go and live your life.”
He reaches for me then, grabbing on to my arm with a tight hold. I could jerk away from him, but even like this, I like him touching me. I shouldn’t. I should force him to let go of me, but I don’t even try. He’s breathing heavily as he looks into my eyes. “There’s things you don’t understand, Cora.”
I take a step toward him until we are so close I can feel his breath on my forehead. My head is bent back so I can look up at him. There’s so much pain in his eyes that what I really want to do is wrap my arms around his middle and hold on to him. But I don’t. Instead, I put my hand on my hip. “Well, explain it to me.”
PATTON
“Nothing you could say or do would make me stop caring about what happens to you, and that includes you putting yourself at risk,” I tell her, hoping she’ll accept the answer and leave it at that.
“Why not? I’m not your responsibility,” she says, crossing her arms and looking up at me with her lips that are so plump and look as if they are just begging to be kissed.
Looking into her eyes, I can’t lie to her. “I like you, Cora, and I have for a long time. But not only are you too young, you’re Jason’s little sister.”
Obviously, looking into her beautiful eyes is like being injected with truth potion.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” I amend. “It’s not your problem, and it’s so inappropriate. What matters is that I care what happens to you.”
Her forehead creases, and she’s looking at me with absolutely no trust in her eyes. It’s as if she thinks I’m lying to her. She points at herself. “You like me?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer; instead she starts rambling. “Excuse me if I don’t believe you. I mean, you’ve ignored me for a whole year. You’ve lived in the same city, worked with the same hospital as me, and you’ve avoided me. So I mean, yeah, I’m sorry if I have a hard time believing that you like me.”
I should leave it. I’ve already said more than I should. But the hurt in her eyes tells me I can’t leave it like it is. “Cora, I haven’t looked at another woman since I met you on your eighteenth birthday. Fuck, I spent the four years from the day I met you until the day I kissed you dreaming about you... my best friend’s little sister. You were... are off limits. There’s nothing that can come of this, especially now, with everything with Jason.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she says, enunciating each word.
I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to hear it.
“Okay, so if nothing can come of this”—she points between the two of us—“then what are you doing here? Why did you choose this town? My hospital?”
I shake my head back and forth. “Because I promised your brother I would take care of you.”
She rears back like I’ve slapped her. “I’m not a girl with a teenage crush anymore, Patton. I’m a full-grown woman who makes my own decisions, and that would still be the case even if Jason were still alive. I’m not looking for anyone to watch over and babysit me. I can take care of myself. So whatever you feel you owe Jason... well, don’t let it include me. I can take care of myself. I did when my brother died. I did when my parents divorced and moved across the country, and I took care of myself when you avoided every one of my phone calls for the past year. So yeah, don’t even think I’m going to believe you’re so concerned with me.”
“Cora, I-“
“No. I’m working, and I’m not leaving until I’m done.”
6
Cora
I walk off before he can say something else. I can’t help but feel flustered at his claim.
Does he really think about me like that? Or is he just trying to manipulate me because he knows what a big crush I had on him?
“Let’s go,” Patton says.
“I’m not just out here doing a job, Patton. I care deeply about the work I do, and this is a big part of it. I’ll leave when I’ve finished and not a moment before.” I take a pair of socks from the bag on my arm and proceed to hand out the items I brought with me. I have a drop-off center at the hospital, and the therapy hospital and the community really gives back. I have been able to provide items every week, and although there is always a need for more, I can’t complain because the items we do have have been a blessing to the community. I give several of the veterans who are there my card with the number and address of the office.
All the while I can feel Patton staying close to my side. I expect him to insist we leave several times, especially when I help one of the women veterans with her gloves since she’s lost the use of her right hand. It takes a while, and I use that time to evaluate the woman and her needs. Her name is Carol, and she promises to call or come in and schedule an appointment with me before she leaves my side.
I make sure I’ve helped everyone I can under that bridge, which is the last one I’d planned to visit for the day before I turn to Patton. “I’m finished here.”
“My car is parked off to the side just before the bridge, and there’s a pathway this way,” he says, putting his hand at the small of my back to lead me. I can feel the heat from his hand even through the thin shirt I have on.
I allow him to lead me up the somewhat steep incline. I jog up the side of the hill, not wanting him to feel my body tremble from the contact. Once at the top, I tell him, “I usually take the bus since I can usually find a few of the homeless riding the city transport.”
Patton’s jaw appears to tighten, but then as he looks at my empty bag, it relaxes. “You’re out of supplies. Next time, I’ll plan to ride the bus with you.”
I can’t argue with that logic since I’m out of supplies.
Once we are in his car and on our way back to our offices, Patton breaks the silence. “It’s an admirable thing that you’re doing. But I need you to promise that you won’t go without me again.”
Maybe he isn’t just fulfilling my brother’s wish. Maybe he really does care about me.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” I tell him
.
“You’re not asking me. I want to do it. I am a doctor, Cora, and veterans are important to me too. I’d like to help.”
I nod without comment. His voice gets thick as he talks about veterans, and I know it’s hard for him to talk about. I can only imagine everything he has seen or gone through. I can’t help but wonder if he’s ever talked to anyone about it. “I’d like your help, but if at any time you want to back out, you can. I know your hours at the hospital have to be crazy, and well, I know this has to be hard for you.”
PATTON
She doesn’t even realize how hard it is. Yes, working with veterans after everything I’ve been through is hard, but it’s my passion and my way of giving back. What’s going to be hard is working close to Cora. The days of keeping an eye on her from afar are over. There’s no way I can just go on knowing she’s endangering herself with her Bridge Project. What else has she been up to that I know nothing about? And it’s not only because of my promise to her brother, it’s so much more than that. I need to be there, and I need to keep her safe, if for only my own selfish reasons. I need to be the one that is there for her.
I drive us back to the hospital, and even though neither of us say anything, at least it’s not awkward. “I can see you’re doing good things with the Bridge Project. I’m proud of you, Cora. Jason would be too.”
She leans her head back on the seat and looks out the window. “Thanks, Patton.”
She sighs and looks over at me. “He would be proud of you too, you know. He looked up to you and loved you like a brother. I know he asked you to take care of me, but he didn’t mean you had to pick up your whole life and move it here. I don’t want to be your responsibility.”
I clench the steering wheel in my hands. I’m quiet as we pull back into the parking lot and park next to her car. I wait for her to ask me how I knew which car was hers, but I don’t even think she’s noticed. Her eyes are still laser focused on me. I don’t know what to say to her but the truth. “I wanted to come here. This feels like home to me.” I leave out the part where I have a strong desire to be close to her.
I finally look at her, and her eyes are searching mine, seeking answers, and I know if I sit here staring at her, she’s going to know exactly what I’m thinking. I open my door and get out to walk around the car. She’s opening the door and out before I can get to it. She walks to her car without looking at me. I know I’ve hurt her in some way. “Cora-“
She shakes her head and smiles. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Thank you for your help today, Patton. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She gets in, and I don’t even try to stop her. I stand and watch as she drives off. Only when I can no longer see the lights of her car does my mind start to work in overtime. Of everything I’ve gone through, losing Jason was the hardest. I’ve never been a drinker, but tonight I need a drink. I spot the neon bar sign down the street, so I hit the lock button on my car and walk into town.
7
Cora
I’m just getting out of the shower when my phone rings later that night. As soon as I see Ashley’s name on the caller ID, I know there’s something wrong. “Hello,” I say, already looking for my keys then remembering I’m naked except for a towel. I walk into my bedroom and open my closet to search for clothes. I’m hardly ever called in the evening, but there have been instances where I had to help with emergency situations or something. There’s a lot of background noise. “Ashley, what’s wrong?”
“Chill, everything’s okay.”
I take a deep breath and sit down on the bed. “Okay, what’s going on?”
She lowers her voice. “Well, remember Dr. Hottie?”
I roll my eyes. That name is horrible. “Yes, I know Dr. Patton. What about him?”
“Well, I’m not one to gossip,” she lies. She’s totally one to gossip, but I keep listening anyway. “But Dr. Hottie is here at Blaine’s Bar, and I’m pretty sure he’s on a bender.”
I do jump up at that, and I’m already pulling clothes on. “What do you mean a bender?” I don’t recall Patton ever drinking. I actually remember Jason telling me that he could be a party pooper sometimes because he didn’t drink. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, I mean, he’s not doing anything stupid or anything, but he definitely seems to have a tear in his beer, if you know what I mean. Dr. Hottie looks sad.”
I clutch the phone even tighter. “I’m on my way.”
I hang up the phone and pull on my jeans and an old T-shirt that I sometimes sleep in. I hate to even think about my still wet hair and makeup-free face since I just got out of the shower, but nothing matters now except getting to Patton.
I drive back toward the hospital and luckily find a parking spot right in front of Blaine’s. Even from here, I can see that Patton’s car is still where I left him in the hospital parking lot. I push my hair off my face and walk into the bar. There’s quite a few people I recognize from the hospital, and I walk by, giving them a nod, not wanting to take the time to stop and talk to anyone. Ashley is waving at me, and she points across the bar. I finally spot Patton in the corner, and there’s a woman sitting right beside him. She’s leaning toward him, smiling, and from here it’s like she’s pushing her cleavage in his face.
Just make sure he’s okay. That’s all you have to do, Cora. You don’t have a say in who he’s here with, just make sure he’s okay and you can go home and deal with your broken heart there.
I give myself the pep talk all the way across the room until I’m standing next to Patton. I put my hand on his forearm that is holding what looks like a shot of whiskey. “Hey, Patton.”
He raises his face and stares up at me. His eyes are bloodshot, and he blinks up at me as if he can’t believe I’m standing here. I squeeze his arm. “You doing okay?”
He looks at the other woman, and a knot fists in my stomach. He’s going to blow me off and act like he doesn’t even know me.
His voice is husky as he talks to the other woman. “This is her. This is Cora, the woman I was talking to you about.”
I gasp in surprise. He was talking about me?
The woman smiles up at me. “Lucky lady.” She nods and then grabs her purse and gets up from her seat. I watch her walk away, but Patton doesn’t. He’s turned so that he’s staring up to me. I take a seat in the stool next to him, not sure what to say.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, Cora.”
My face heats, and normally I’d look away, but the way Patton’s staring into my eyes, there’s no way I can turn from him.
“Patton,” I start, but he shakes his head emphatically and then stops suddenly, grabbing on to the edge of the bar. He’s definitely not a drinker. “Can I take you home?”
He nods and stumbles to his feet. I start to walk, but he grabs my hand, and I stay close to him as we walk toward the exit. I can feel all eyes on us, and I’m sure we’re going to be the talk of the hospital and the therapy center, but I can’t seem to care. As soon as we’re outside, I pull him to my car and open the passenger door for him. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home. I can take you into the hospital tomorrow.”
He doesn’t argue, and when I get into the driver’s seat, he tells me, “I’m off tomorrow. I’ll take an Uber to get it.”
I nod. “Where do you live?”
He rambles off his address, and it only takes me ten minutes to get from the bar to his rancher in a large subdivision on the east side of town. I nudge his shoulder as we pull into the driveway. “Is this it?”
He nods and gets out, walking unsteadily around the car. “Do you like it? I had hoped when I bought it that it was something you would like.”
He walks up the walkway and unlocks the front door, so I have no choice but to follow him. “It’s beautiful, Patton,” I tell him as I take in the large, vaulted ceilings, big furniture, and open concept.
He walks in and leans heavily against the back of the couch. “Come here, Cora.”
I walk over to him slowly. When I get a few
feet away, I stop. He shakes his head and reaches for me, pulling me until I’m leaning into him and my body is plastered to the front of his. He takes a deep breath, threading his fingers through my hair, and he buries his nose into my neck. We stand there just like that, and I don’t move a muscle. Being in Patton’s arms is all I’ve wanted this past year. This would have made everything so much easier. “Patton.”
He inhales deeply, his chest rubbing across the already hard peaks of my nipples. “Cora, you don’t know how much I wish things were different.”
I lean back, but his hold tightens on me. He lifts his head, and I look at him. We’re so close, I can smell the whiskey on his breath. “He’s gone, Patton, and it’s not your fault. He wouldn’t want you to live like this.”
His hand moves to the base of my neck, and he forces my head backwards. I’m staring at him, wishing he would kiss me but also knowing if he does, he’s going to regret it. “Talk to me, Patton.”
He takes a deep breath. “I’ve tried to forget you since the day I met you. I didn’t want to betray your brother, but fuck I haven’t been able to forget about you... or that kiss.”
“You’re not betraying my brother,” I tell him, losing patience with his way of thinking.
He shakes his head, and I swear he looks as if someone’s holding a knife to his stomach by the way his face is all twisted up. “If you knew the thoughts I had you would say otherwise.”
I want to ask him what his thoughts are because I can almost guarantee they are the same or similar to mine. I’ve dreamt about him every night for four years, but now is not the time to think about it or to even have this discussion. I grab on to the collar of his shirt and hold tight. I shouldn’t take advantage of the state he’s in, but I’ve thought about this for ages now, and I can’t pass up the opportunity. “Will you do something for me, Patton?”