The tingles she felt in her body were a novel and confusing experience, as she’d never felt this kind of attraction to a man before. And she’d never seen Uwe as anything but a nice boy who happened to attend the same school. Until now.
Uwe seemed to be equally infatuated, his eyes wandering up and down her body until the sound of Irmhild clearing her throat broke the spell.
“So, you found me.”
“We did. So…how have you been?” She couldn’t have said anything sillier, but for some strange reason, her mind was blank.
The smile slid off his handsome face, and he made a violent gesture with his hand. “I’ve been drafted!”
Lotte gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.
“I’m sorry,” Irmhild said, looking equally shaken.
“Yes? Well, so am I. I have to report next month, the day after I turn seventeen.” His face took on a desperate expression. “Damn war. I thought being the forest warden would save me. But evidently, it hasn’t.”
“But hasn’t the Hitlerjugend trained you to be a soldier already?” Lotte asked.
“Pah. Everyone has to join the Hitlerjugend, but that doesn’t mean I want to fight and kill.” He sank down on the trunk, dropping the axe to the ground.
“So why hasn’t Hans been drafted? He’s already turned eighteen.” Lotte threw a hand over her mouth, but it was already too late, and the words had been uttered.
“That’s what makes this all the more maddening. Hans should have been drafted a year ago, but his father is the chief of police and the boss of the Party. I doubt he’ll ever join the lowly soldiers’ ranks.”
“That’s not fair.” Lotte sat beside him on the trunk with compassion in her heart. She hated injustice, and the entire Nazi regime was one big inequity.
“Life is never fair,” Uwe sneered before raising his impossibly blue eyes to Lotte. “So, tell me why you came all the way out here to find me.”
Again, Lotte’s mind blanked.
“Well, Lotte asked me if I knew anyone who was a nun, and I remembered you have an aunt who is one.” Irmhild came to her rescue.
“You want to talk to a nun? Whatever for?”
“I’d rather not say. Does your aunt live close?” Lotte looked down at her hands.
“Yes, you could get there on that bicycle I always see you riding. She lives in a convent about twenty miles from here.” A worried look flashed across his handsome face. “You’re not thinking of becoming a nun, are you?”
“Maybe. But I have some questions and didn’t know who to ask.” She hated lying to him, but she still wasn’t sure whether she could trust him or not.
Uwe gave her a critical look and then grinned. “Fine. I’ll take you to see my aunt, but I’m not buying that you want to become a nun. Not even for a minute.” He rolled his neck and nodded to the tree he’d been cutting branches from. “I should get back to work. When do you want to go?”
“Could we go tomorrow?”
“Sure. We’ll have to go early, it’s a long ride. Is six o’clock at the fountain alright?”
“I’ll be there.” Lotte wanted to hug him but simply smiled at him instead. “Thank you so much.”
Chapter 10
The next day, Lotte got up well before dawn, took care of her morning chores, and left a note for her aunt, telling her she needed to help Irmhild with something in the next town. She’d done this same thing so many times, she wasn’t concerned about her aunt’s being worried or upset.
Dressed in her new dress and plimsolls, she arrived at the fountain just in time. Uwe was already waiting for her, an immense black bicycle by his side.
“Thanks for doing this for me.” She greeted him with a shy smile.
“No problem. You look very nice in that dress.”
Lotte felt the blood rushing to her cheeks. “Thanks, my mother made it for me.”
“Let’s go. Twenty miles is a long way to ride. Are you sure you’re up for it?”
For a moment Lotte wanted to tell him that she was very capable of riding double or even triple the distance, but the caring look in his eyes confused her enough to swallow her spiteful remark. “I’m ready to go.”
They rode for a while in silence, as the sun rose over the horizon, showing clear blue skies. Night chill lingered in the air, but the day would be hot again. The wheat, rye, and barley fields lay harvested, but the cornfields stood strong and tall, reminding her of the imminent harvest. The sooner Rachel and her siblings left the barn, the better it would be for everyone.
After about an hour, they heard the sounds of an aircraft approaching.
“Off into the bushes,” Uwe shouted. He jumped off his bicycle and pushed it into the roadside ditch. Then he took Lotte’s hand and pulled her with him to seek cover beneath a row of bushes.
Despite the danger looming in the air, all she sensed was his intense presence, the way he took care of the situation and made her feel safe.
“Bloody English.” Uwe pointed to where two aircraft were hanging low in the sky, as if in search of something. Usually, the bombers didn’t bother with the countryside and preferred to drop their deadly cargo over the big cities, but one could never be sure.
Lotte shuddered as memories of the air raids in Berlin swam in her brain.
“Are you cold?” Uwe asked.
“No, it’s just…” She didn’t know how to finish her sentence.
“Just what?” His voice became softer than she’d ever heard it before.
“Those aircraft reminded me of the raid when I was in Berlin.” She shuddered again. “My sister saved me. I was too scared to run. Ursula had to return and drag me out of the building all the way to the shelter.”
“Did she often have to rescue you?”
“Actually, no. Ursula has never done anything wrong in her life. She always behaved the way she was expected to and never got herself into trouble.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re related.” Uwe grinned.
Lotte laughed at his remark. Attending the same school, he had witnessed firsthand her lack of obedience. She’d frequently been the recipient of thwacks from their teacher. “No, as children she rarely covered up for me. I guess she thought I deserved my punishment for stepping out of line.”
“You never told me why you’re living with your aunt.”
“That’s a long story.” Lotte sighed. She still didn’t trust him enough to tell him that she’d been expelled from the Bund Deutscher Mädel for speaking against the Nazis. Nor that her sharp tongue and rash actions had drawn unwanted attention. “Let’s just say my parents thought it would be safer for me out here in the sticks.”
Uwe squinted his eyes at her but didn’t press the point. Long after the planes had vanished from their sight, he finally declared it safe to get on their bicycles again. Twice more, they were forced to hide in the bushes or trees along the side of the road to avoid detection.
“That plane was flying a lot closer to the ground,” Uwe said as they got back on the bikes for the third time.
“Are we almost there?” she asked.
“A few more miles.” He gave her a teasing wink. “Tired already?”
“Not a chance.” She grinned and pedaled hard until her heart was thundering in her chest. But every time she attempted to pass him, he shook his head, grinned, and went just fast enough to keep her at bay. It was infuriating, but at the same time it was incredible fun, and it kept her mind from worrying about the aircraft.
An hour later, they were standing in front of the convent doors. Lotte’s face was hot from the exercise, and she didn’t doubt her mane was in wild curls around her head. She tried combing it with her fingers until she noticed Uwe’s gaze on her.
“What’s the matter?”
“I like your hair. It fits your personality.”
Her face grew even hotter. “Aww…thanks.”
His blue eyes fixed on hers, and she squirmed under his scrutiny. “Care to tell me why you really want to speak to m
y aunt?” Uwe asked as they waited.
Lotte frowned at him. Irmhild had impressed on her that she couldn’t tell a soul. Ever. As much as she hated lying to Uwe, it was for the best. “I did tell you. I’m thinking of joining a convent and had some questions only a nun could answer.”
Uwe opened his mouth to argue, but in that very moment, the door opened, and an elderly nun stepped out, her black habit flowing behind her.
“Good morning, Sister.” Lotte gave her a tentative smile.
“Good morning. What can we do for you?” she answered, not unfriendly.
Uwe stepped forward. “My aunt is a nun here, and my friend would like to speak with her.”
“What is your aunt’s name?”
“Gretchen…I mean Sister Margarete.”
The nun nodded and opened the door wider, addressing Uwe. “Only women are allowed inside these walls. You will have to wait outside.” Then she turned to Lotte. “What is your name?”
“Charlotte Klausen.” Her insides trembled, and Lotte, despite not being particularly religious, sent a quick prayer to heaven. Please, God, let these nuns receive Rachel and her siblings.
“Follow me,” the nun said.
Lotte stepped inside, and as soon as the door clicked shut, she felt the sudden urge to bolt. The atmosphere in the convent was so different from the outside. Quiet, sublime, but also eerie. She followed the nun through long and dark corridors until she was ushered into a small room with a table and several chairs.
“Please sit and wait. I’ll find Sister Margarete for you.” The nun disappeared, leaving her alone in the creepy room.
Lotte hadn’t thought out what exactly to tell the nun and wished Uwe was by her side. But on the other hand, it was easier to talk to his aunt in private.
The temperature inside the thick walls of the convent was chilly compared to outside. Right now, it was a welcome refresher, but Lotte thought it must be uncomfortable in winter time. She glanced at the crucifix hanging on the wall. According to Aunt Lydia, before Hitler’s seizure of power, there’d been crucifixes in most buildings in Bavaria. Schools, town halls, private homes, everyone proudly displayed their affiliation with the Catholic religion. Until the swastikas and Hitler portraits replaced them.
Even in tiny villages like Kleindorf, National Socialism brought everyone into line, seeping into every corner of the people’s lives. At school, they learned about the Aryan Master Race. The Hitlerjugend prepared boys for war. The Bund Deutscher Mädel hammered the ideal of the submissive wife into the girls. Couples were given a copy of Hitler’s Mein Kampf for their wedding. People who didn’t attend the monthly Party meeting were frowned upon. Even the farmer’s association promoted the greatness of Hitler’s Reich first and agriculture-related topics second.
The door creaked open, jolting Lotte from her thoughts.
“Good morning. I’m Sister Margarete.” The nun wore the same black habit as the first, but her face looked much younger and softer.
Lotte curtsied. “Nice to meet you, Sister.”
“They tell me my nephew brought you here. How is he?” Sister Margarete asked softly.
“Uwe is fine. He’s doing his father’s work as a forest warden.” Lotte paused for a moment. She wasn’t sure whether she should worry the nun with his imminent departure to the front lines.
“He’s such a good chap. He’s always been my favorite nephew. But now, tell me, what can I do for you?”
Lotte squirmed. “It’s an unusual request.”
“Nothing is unusual before the eyes of God,” the nun answered. “Please tell me why you took the long journey to our convent.”
“It’s…” She paused, hoping to be forgiven for bending the truth a bit. “I found four orphans, and they are currently staying on my aunt’s farm, but my aunt has five, soon six, children of her own to feed, seven with me. She can’t possibly care for them as well.”
“Usually, the authorities ask us to accept orphans into the orphanage, but in this case, I would have to ask the Reverend Mother if she will make an exception for your foundlings.”
The expression on Sister Margarete’s face resembled Uwe’s expression when he hadn’t believed her excuse. Lotte fidgeted with her hands, fully expecting the nun to insist on more information. But no words left the nun’s lips.
“Please? They have Aryan papers, if that helps.”
Sister Margarete raised her eyebrow at this. “I will see if the Reverend Mother has time for me to speak with her now. Please wait here.”
Sister Margarete left the room as quietly as she’d entered. Lotte leaned back in the hard wooden chair and tried to get control over the slight tremble in her body. Nothing bad had happened, and she hadn’t even lied. She’d just left out some crucial information.
An eternity later, Sister Margarete returned. “Reverend Mother has agreed that the four orphans may come here. Since the war started, many children have found themselves in need of our care.”
Lotte expected her to ask more questions, but she didn’t. The nuns probably thought it was best not to know too much.
“Come, I will see you out and speak with my nephew for a moment.” Sister Margarete led her toward the doors to the convent and spoke quietly with Uwe for quite some time. When the church bells tolled, she bowed her head and went back inside.
“Did my aunt answer your questions?” Uwe asked, full of curiosity.
Lotte grinned at his badly concealed attempt to extract more information from her. “She did. Thank you again for bringing me here.”
“We should return home. It’s starting to get hot.”
Lotte’s stomach grumbled, and she remembered that in her anxiety to get to the convent, she’d forgotten to pack lunch. Sister Margarete had offered her water but nothing to eat.
“Hungry?” Uwe asked.
“Like a wolf, but I forgot to bring any food.”
“Good that you have me, I’m willing to share.” He pointed toward the bag on his rear rack. “Let’s ride until we find a nice spot to sit down and eat.”
They found a meadow with fruit trees to give them shade and a small creek lazily flowing along. Both of them took off their shoes and dangled their feet into the cool and clear water while eating the sandwiches he brought.
He refilled his bottle with fresh water from the creek and handed it to Lotte. His smile – and the dimples that appeared every time he laughed – did funny things to her insides. She quickly looked away and emptied the bottle.
Standing with both feet in the cool water, Lotte refilled the bottle and handed it to him. For a moment, their hands touched, and something even stranger happened. It was as if she’d touched an electric fence, but stronger, the sensation rippling in waves throughout her entire body. She moved a step away from him and sat down on the grass again. When Uwe finished drinking, he glanced at her as if he saw her for the first time.
“So, why did you really want to go to the convent?” Uwe asked with a disarming smile. “And don’t tell me you want to become a nun. You’re not the type to sequester yourself away for the rest of your life. You can’t even keep silent for five minutes.”
“Very well, I don’t want to become a nun. It sounds really boring.” Lotte bit her bottom lip, racking her brain over how much to tell him.
“So why lie to me?” Uwe leaned back on his elbows and scrutinized her face.
Her temper immediately flared. “I didn’t lie! I simply chose not to tell you everything.”
“That’s how it’s called nowadays? Not telling everything.” His tone was teasing, but she could sense the underlying hurt.
She exhaled a deep breath before meeting his eyes again. “I didn’t know if I could trust you.”
“So, do you trust me now?”
“I’m not sure,” Lotte answered truthfully, without thinking. The hurt look in his beautiful blue eyes slashed her heart, and she wanted to make up for her lapse. “Look. It’s not that I don’t like you…I mean…for God’s sake…” She
broke off and looked across the meadow onto the road.
Her instinct told her that he wouldn’t betray her, but Irmhild had hammered the need for secrecy into Lotte’s brain so many times she didn’t want to disappoint her. They weren’t simply two girls anymore but future war heroes, spies on a mission. And as such, one had to be secretive. Everyone knew that.
“Are you…in a delicate condition?” Uwe asked with a low voice.
It took Lotte a few moments to grasp the meaning, but then she flushed furiously, her cheeks probably matching the flaming color of her hair. “Of course not. I’m not that kind of girl! I found four orphans living in the woods a few days ago.”
“Who is it?” he asked, ignoring her mortification.
“Their last name is Müller. They’re just children, and I needed to find a safe place for them to stay. They can’t keep sleeping in my aunt’s barn.” She slapped her hand across her mouth, groaning at her stupidity.
“I see.”
“Yes. Don’t be mad, but I wasn’t sure if you’d help me if I told you the real reason I wanted to go to the convent.”
Uwe got to his feet. “We should get going. We still have another two hours to ride.”
When they arrived at Mindelheim, Lotte tried to think of some way to thank him, but nothing came to mind. Uwe rode up next to her and then reached over and touched her hand. “I had a good time with you.”
It took a long time for the new spark of electricity to fade.
Chapter 11
Lotte arrived home just in time to complete her evening chores – except for milking the cows and washing up for dinner – with no time to look for Rachel. She was bursting with the need to spread the good news and had to bite her tongue many times during dinner to not tell Aunt Lydia.
She’d already told Uwe too much, despite her good intentions to keep her lips sealed. This wouldn’t happen again, she promised herself. After dinner, she stayed in the kitchen to help clear the dishes, every single fiber in her body aching to dash to the barn. Seconds dragged into minutes, and when everything was finally cleared up, she took to her heels.
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