by Nancy Thayer
When the congregation sang “Away in a Manger,” Jilly’s thoughts drifted. She knew this was the calm before the storm. Tomorrow Lauren, Porter, Lawrence, and Portia would arrive. In three short days Christmas would be here. Not only that, Felicia and Archie would be married and twenty people would gather in the house on Chestnut Street for the wedding reception.
Jilly was a great one for making lists. At night she lay in bed mentally reviewing what she had checked off and what still needed to be done. She couldn’t wait to see the gown Lauren had made for Felicia. Lauren had such exquisite taste. If the children could keep from wrecking the house … if the weather cooperated so they could play outside … if Archie didn’t lure George or Felicia out for some other extreme escapade … if the planes made it to the island in time for Archie’s mother to arrive … if Archie’s mother was not too difficult to deal with … if she’d ordered a large enough turkey … if Rex didn’t slip out the door with all these people coming and going … if Felicia would stop acting so politely cold toward Jilly … if only Felicia were going to marry Steven …
If only Jilly could get one good night’s sleep!
10
In her childhood bedroom, Felicia also tossed and turned through the night.
Her first few nights there, she’d found it amusing to sleep in her girlhood twin bed while her gigantic fiancé lay snoring in the twin bed next to her, beneath a lavender, violet-dotted duvet. They’d had fun messing around and making love in the twin beds, enjoying the challenge of not making noise. She’d relished the sight of her fiancé’s huge shoes beneath her tall white bureau with the mermaid-shaped pulls.
But now, as the first white light of day dawned, Felicia found herself realizing how much work her mother had done to make this bedroom such a private girlish sanctuary. Jilly had made the lined, white muslin curtains trimmed with lavender grosgrain ribbon and the tiebacks adorned with felt flowers. Jilly herself had painted the walls a pale violet with marshmallow white woodwork. And it had been Jilly who discovered the old desk at the Hospital Thrift Shop, brought it home, sanded it smooth, and painted it white, with iris twining up the sides and bunnies and birds in the grass. Okay, it wasn’t a professional job, but it was darling, and Felicia was fond of this little room.
Lauren’s room had been rose-themed until she turned fifteen, at which point she went into an earthy-crunchy hippie save-the-earth phase and hung posters with peace signs and pictures of U2 all over her walls. Lauren’s desk had become a repository for her eye shadow and lipstick, CD player and piles of CDs, and tie-dye scarves. Funny how Lauren had ended up as much a happy homemaker and mom as their mother.
Felicia had never changed her room because she’d seldom spent time here. When she entered junior high, she went mad for sports—swimming, girls’ hockey, gymnastics, and baseball. She didn’t have time even to consider the decor of her room although she did alter its looks with the piles of different uniforms she tossed on the chairs, over her desk, and on the floor. Her mother had attended all her games and never fussed about the piles of dirty uniforms to be washed.
Lying here on her soft bed, as daylight dawned, as her new life was about to begin, Felicia struggled to deal with her deepest fears, that she would never have a baby. At the same time, she was insulted that her mother didn’t appreciate how wonderful Archie was, and how much Felicia loved him. She and Archie would be here only three more days. After the wedding and reception, they were moving to a hotel for the night before having a delayed Christmas dinner with the family. Then they were flying to California to begin the first leg of their honeymoon.
Lauren and her family were arriving this morning and Archie’s mother was flying in this afternoon. With all the coming and going and cooking and eating, Felicia and Archie would be only part of a massive shifting family celebration, like two arms of an octopus.
And Felicia’s mind was like a goldfish, swimming in circles, going nowhere. Felicia threw back her violet duvet, slipped into her robe, left her fiancé with his big feet sticking out of the end of a twin bed, and dashed across the hall for a quick shower before the day began.
11
“Bring two cars,” Lauren had advised over the phone from Boston, while in the background her husband, Porter, yelled, “Bring a U-Haul!”
Felicia remembered her sister’s words as she and Archie helped Lauren, Porter, Lawrence, and Portia carry their backpacks, suitcases, duffel bags, and mysterious brown boxes from the baggage claim at the Nantucket airport. She was trying not to feel overwhelmed at the astonishing amount of luggage her sister’s family required, but she reminded herself that first of all, they had brought Christmas presents and more important, Lauren had brought not only Felicia’s wedding gown, but undoubtedly a dress for Lauren to wear to the wedding which would be much more eye-catching than Felicia’s.
Oh, drat, there she went again. Why was it that the moment she set eyes on her older sister, Felicia morphed from a happy normal woman into a sniveling green-eyed monster? But damn, Lauren looked amazing. Lauren was tiny and curvy in all the right places. Even her long highlighted blond hair was curvy. While Felicia wore a North Face down parka—she was only going to the airport after all—Lauren was clad in a form-fitting black suede coat with black faux fur around the cuffs and hem and high-heeled black boots. Her matching black faux fur hat gave her a sophisticated air. Her only normal accessory was her husband, Porter, a nice enough looking man wearing a camel’s hair coat and a genuinely happy smile.
“Portia! Stop! I told you, watch for cars! Lawrence, are you sure you don’t have to use the bathroom before we get in the car? Portia, don’t drag your backpack!” Lauren fired out orders to her children as they progressed in a ragged cluster through the parking lot to the cars. “What did you say, Felicia?”
“I asked how your trip was.”
Before Lauren could answer, Lawrence yelled, “I want to ride in the big car!” while Portia jumped up and down, begging, “I want to ride with Daddy.”
“I want to ride with Daddy, too!” yelled Lawrence.
Archie, who had experience with groups on rafting tours, silently opened the trunks of both vehicles and began loading in the luggage.
“Porter, don’t forget we have to put the booster seats in for the children.” Glancing at Felicia, Lauren told her, “It’s the law in Massachusetts.”
Felicia had a slightly wicked idea. “Archie, honey, why don’t you take Porter and the children in Dad’s SUV, and I’ll drive my sister in Mom’s car?” She felt guilty sticking the exuberant children with Archie, but he was a good sport and this would give her an opportunity for a few private moments with her sister before they hit their family home.
Once everyone was buckled in and Archie had driven away with his babbling cargo, Felicia turned and gave Lauren a good long look. “You’re as gorgeous as always,” she said. “You’re like a model from a catalog.”
“I’m glad you think so.” Lauren sighed. “I feel like a shrieking old hag on a broomstick. I’d like to hire an army sergeant on mornings like this when I need to be sure we’re all dressed, packed, and out the door in time for a plane.” Glancing at the cup holder, she smiled. “You remembered! Iced tea?”
“Three tea bags strong, no milk, no sugar.”
Lauren grabbed up the go-cup and took a big swig. “You have no idea how much I needed that! How are the ’rents?”
“Good. Mom is in her usual pre-holiday frenzy. Dad mostly stays out of her way. But oh, guess what, they have a cat. He’s new, and spends a lot of time in the laundry room, but I think it’s excellent that Mom has a pet.”
“Yeah, it’s her substitute baby.” Lauren slurped more tea.
Felicia wanted to confide her new baby yearnings to her sister, but the ride from the airport was only about ten minutes and she didn’t want to start talking about something so intimate when she knew they’d be interrupted. “So you brought my gown?”
“I did. Here’s my strategy: I brought videos f
or the kids. You know I never allow them to watch television or videos or YouTube or play games on the cell phone. This is my secret weapon.” Lauren laughed naughtily, the kind of laugh Felicia had never heard from her sister before. “Do I surprise you? When you become a mother, you’ll discover depths of cunning within you that you never knew existed.”
“Um, okay …”
“After lunch, Porter has been assigned the responsibility of taking the kids out for a walk through town to use up some of their crazy energy. When they return, they’ll be allowed to watch 101 Dalmatians. This will superglue them to the television and then finally give us plenty of time to play dress-up with your wedding gown!”
“I’m impressed,” Felicia admitted. Secretly she thought, how could she expect anything else? Lauren always knew exactly what to do.
When they arrived at the house, Archie had just parked the big SUV in the driveway. Jilly and George had come outside to welcome everyone. The family was hugging, kissing, and cooing with delight. When Felicia parked her mother’s car behind the SUV, and Lauren stepped out, Jilly greeted her as if she hadn’t seen her oldest daughter for years.
“Stand back,” George whispered to Felicia, hugging her to him. “I think your mother’s going to explode with happiness—having her two girls home.”
It took a while for the men to carry in the luggage as Lauren directed what went where. Jilly and Felicia knelt in the living room, supervising Lawrence and Portia as they brought Christmas presents in hand-decorated parcels out of a duffel bag and placed them beneath the Christmas tree.
“I wrapped that one, Grandma Jelly,” six-year-old Lawrence proudly announced to Jilly.
“We made the wrapping paper!” his little sister announced, pointing to a package in white paper covered with rainbow swirls.
“They’re beautiful!” Jilly said, clapping her hands.
Felicia had never seen her mother’s face glowing with such tender joy as now when she interacted with her grandchildren. Lawrence’s brown curls bobbed as he spoke, and his eyes were bright and clear. Portia resembled her mother, Lauren—and now Felicia saw traces of Jilly in the lines of Portia’s sweet round cheeks and pointed chin. Here’s where the image of angels came from, Felicia realized. Such shining innocence, such pure trust, such unquestioning happiness. When Lawrence climbed on his grandmother’s lap, the curve of his shoulders carried the same lines as Felicia’s father. Life on earth may be limited, but grandchildren were the promise of the eternal.
Felicia had tears in her eyes. She had envy in her heart. She knew she had to discuss the possibility of having children with Archie soon.
Portia, noticing Felicia’s tears, rushed to her and held her hands. “We brought you a special present, Auntie Felicia. We made it ourselves!”
Not to be overshadowed, Lawrence leapt off Jilly’s lap and ran to Felicia. “Yeah, Auntie Felicia, and Mom said I get to be ring bearer in your wedging!”
“Wedding.” Portia corrected her older brother wearily, as if this were a burden she had to bear.
“Wedging sounds rather appropriate,” Felicia said to her mother, who returned a smile.
Felicia hugged the children to her. “Archie and I have special presents for both of you, too.” Inhaling the sweet scent of their flawless skin, their lush hair, their sweet breath, she closed her eyes simply to be in the moment.
And it was only a moment before her nephew and niece wriggled away, eager to be on to the next thing.
12
Because the children had spent so much time sitting on a plane, George, Archie, and Porter took the children out to play in the snow before lunch. When they returned with rosy cheeks and big appetites, the children were yawning.
When the meal—with no broken chairs—was finished, George asked, with an odd adolescent grin, “What are you girls doing this afternoon?”
Lauren jumped up. “We’re going to try on wedding clothes.”
“Great! Archie and Porter and I are going back out for a, um, little jaunt,” George announced. He was almost snickering.
The women were delighted to see the men bonding, even if they kept exchanging guilty looks. Probably off to buy some idiotic present, Jilly thought. “Have fun!” she told them, waving them away. The men went out into the cold winter day.
“Just give me a moment to settle the kids with a video,” Lauren said, herding her son and daughter into the family room.
Jilly went to Felicia and took her hand. “Sweetheart, before we go upstairs, I want to apologize for anything I said that hurt your feelings.”
A huge sigh passed through Felicia. Her shoulders relaxed. “Thanks, Mom. But you know—”
“I’m ready!” Lauren announced. “Let’s go up to Mom’s bedroom—it has the most space and the full-length mirror.”
The three women hurried up the stairs. Felicia removed her jeans and sweater. Jilly moved a pile of clean laundry from the armchair so she could sit and watch this once-in-a-lifetime moment.
“Of course that won’t be the lingerie you’ll wear beneath your dress,” said Lauren, eyeing Felicia’s sports bra and white cotton underpants.
Felicia rolled her eyes. “This is what I have. This is what I wear. Do you have a problem with that?” she challenged her sister.
“I absolutely do have a problem with that! This is for your wedding day. I’ve made you an exquisite gown. You need something new, sensual, extraordinary, and feminine.”
“You said it, Lauren. This is for my wedding day. I’m not you. Plus, come on, no one will see.”
Jilly listened to her daughters argue with a smile. Taking a deep breath, she relaxed. This was like Throwback Thursday up close. All their lives, her two very different daughters had held different opinions and neither one had been shy about expressing how she felt. Sometimes this had led to terrible fights, slammed doors, and even floods of tears. But now they were grown up, and Felicia was finally getting married, and the matter of her second daughter’s underwear was only a feather blowing in the breeze.
“Could I please see my dress?” Felicia said.
Lauren lifted a suitcase onto the king-size bed, unsnapped and unfolded it. Carefully she unzipped it, obviously enjoying this dramatic moment. The suitcase revealed layers and layers of white tissue paper. Then white satin gleamed, and Lauren lifted out the gown.
Jilly and Felicia gasped. Long-sleeved, full-length, the dress had an empire waist and a gently rounded neckline. Lauren helped Felicia step into the dress, and zipped up the back.
“Now wait,” ordered Lauren.
Unfolding more white tissue paper, Lauren lifted out a red velvet sash which she wrapped around the high waist of the dress. She tied a simple bow in the back and let the long ends of the sash trail to the floor.
“And I thought you’d like this,” Lauren said to her sister, carefully sliding a white circlet covered with miniature roses into her hair.
Felicia’s eyes sparkled. “Lauren, this dress is perfect.”
“I thought you’d like it. No ruffles, no frills, no chiffon, not a speck of lace. What do you think, Mom?”
Jilly opened her mouth to speak and broke into tears. She had never imagined such a perfect moment when one daughter made the wedding dress for the other daughter and they were all here together in a room in peace and happiness. “The dress is astonishing, Lauren. Felicia, you look beautiful.”
Lauren absolutely glittered with satisfaction. “And I’ve got something more.” More rustling of tissue paper, and Lauren lifted out a red velvet cape with a red velvet hood. And then, a muff of white faux fur.
When Felicia looked skeptical, Lauren laughed. “You won’t want to be cold on the ride in the horse-drawn carriage from the church to our house.”
“I thought we were going in cars, or walking if it’s a nice day,” Felicia said.
Lauren shook her head. “You are SO not walking in your wedding dress! Anyway, it’s all arranged. I’ve spoken with Travis Cosgrove and reserved an open carri
age and two horses. And guess what! The horses are white, and their harnesses will be red leather with golden jingle bells!”
Felicia glanced at her mother. Jilly looked as if she were floating on a cloud on her way to heaven. It’s only one day, Felicia thought, and said, “Thank you, Lauren. That’s very thoughtful of you.”
“The children will be so excited to see the horses!” Jilly exclaimed. “I wonder if there’s a way they could ride in the carriage with you.”
“Mom, don’t be daft. Why would a couple who just got married have two children with them?” demanded Lauren, rolling her eyes at her mother.
“I think it’s a darling idea,” Felicia said. “I’d like to have the kids ride with us.”
“All right, then,” Lauren relented. “That’s really nice of you, Felicia.”
“Let’s see your dress, and the children’s clothes,” suggested Jilly.
For the next hour, Lauren slipped into her green velvet matron of honor dress, and Jilly put on her red silk suit, and the three women took turns admiring themselves and one another in the mirror.
They didn’t notice that day had turned into evening until Jilly cried, “Gosh, look at the windows. It’s dark out there already.”
“I’d better go see what the kids are doing,” said Lauren.
“I’d better go start dinner,” said Jilly.
“I wonder where the men are,” said Felicia.
The women scurried around, carefully hanging their dresses on padded hangers and sliding them gently into the closet. Lauren returned the thousands of sheets of tissue paper to the suitcase, closed it, and shoved it beneath her parents’ bed.