by Kate Rudolph
My heart yearned for it. Back home I’d never wanted to sky dive or anything like that. I’d never seen the appeal. But one ride on Drikal and I wanted it all.
Riga had scholars looking into records, trying to find out if there was any history of who my parents could have been. Gerin ran new tests on me almost every day, as if there was a secret in my blood that could unlock my ancestry. But the truth was that we’d probably never know. A few people went through the portal every year, and others just disappeared. They were recorded with the authorities in every village and that information eventually filtered up to the keep, but there was no way to know if those who definitely went through the portal ended up on Earth, and it was a mystery if those who disappeared went through the portal at all. And all of that depended on the assumption that my parents had been from Drakus. If I was descended from someone who’d left a hundred years ago, the trail was far too cold.
I think it disappointed Riga and Drikal more than it hurt me. I’d never known my true parents and had spun a hundred tales of where they could be from. I’d given up on the thought of getting answers when I was a kid, and I knew how to let it go. Drikal, certainly, wasn’t a man who accepted disappointment, and his mother was such a strong personality that telling her no took a lot of effort. If I wanted to stay here I’d need to learn how to manage it.
If?
When had it gone from me definitely planning to go home to me wondering if I should stay?
The lust had gone to my head. I needed to take a walk.
I was on my way out of the keep when I crossed paths with Drikal and Veyne. I still didn’t like the lieutenant, and a few days ago something had changed with him. He looked at me in suspicion every time I talked to Drikal, as if I was a spy or something. Castle gossip, hand delivered from Ceri and Safa, who were lifesavers when it came to understanding all the undercurrents of Drikal’s court, told me that Drikal had never shown so much attention to a woman before. Our courtship was public fodder and the court was split on whether it was a good or bad thing.
Drikal held out a hand to me and I took it without thought. He raised it to his lips and kissed it like I was some lady in an ancient film. The smile he gave me was all promise and it sent a thrill down to my core. I couldn’t look at him and not want, and I wished I could say it was just sex. But when I looked at him I wanted everything.
It was terrifying.
“Where are you off to?” It might have rankled if someone else asked, but from the moment I agreed to give this whole courtship thing a try, Drikal had given me run of the castle and the grounds. I’d taken daily walks in the fields around the keep, but I hadn’t tested how far I could go. I didn’t want to know what would happen if I reached the end of Drikal’s leash. I didn’t want to find out that the leash was there.
But if we hadn’t run into each other, I think that day I would have, just to prove to myself that I was still in control.
“I needed air. And to stretch my legs.” And now that I saw him, I wanted him too. So much for wanting to clear my head. I couldn’t think when Drikal was around, but all my worries also melted away, and who would want to worry when there was a dragon waiting to woo?
“May I join you?” He was always the height of politeness, asking my permission, seeing to my needs. I’d been happy before if previous boyfriends hadn’t ditched out on our dates and their half of the check. Maybe my standards had been too low. But I was pretty sure no one would ever live up to Drikal. And I didn’t want to think of what came after Drikal.
“Of course.”
Veyne made a sound like he was going to object, but one look from Drikal shut him up quick.
“I want to try and shift,” I said once we were clear of the castle and prying eyes. “I know that Healer Gerin said it will come naturally, but it’s been a week. It’s starting to feel like it will never happen.” And saying it out loud made me sound crazy. I was freaking out because I hadn’t turned into a dragon in the week since coming to the dragon planet? Really? Really? “Never mind, that’s stupid.”
“Hey.” He tugged on my arm until we came to a stop, then he stepped in front of me and cupped my cheek, laying a gentle kiss against my forehead. “It’s not stupid. Everyone is excited at the prospect of their first shift.”
“But I’m not supposed to force it.” I leaned into him, snuggling into the heat of his body. It felt so good to touch and I loved that he didn’t hide the affection away until we were behind closed doors.
“I think she meant she didn’t want you jumping off of buildings hoping your instincts would take over before you hit the ground. Many youths have injured themselves that way. We’re on unknown ground with you. No one has every undergone their first shift as an adult. Gerin is applying everything she knows about youths and hoping it works for you. I don’t see any harm in seeing if you can do it consciously. After all, you’ve had your body much longer than a child, you know how things are supposed to feel, how they’re supposed to work.” He gave me another kiss and stepped back, grabbing my hand again and leading me to what had quickly become our favorite field. It was far enough away from the keep to be out of prying eyes, and yet close enough that wyverns wouldn’t dare approach.
“Why don’t your clothes disappear when you shift? Shouldn’t you need to get naked or something? It doesn’t make sense.” I’d seen plenty of shifts since that first one, and it seemed like the clothes just kind of got stored away in a pocket universe or something. On media shows that featured fictional shifters back home, they always ended up naked. Though, come to think of it, that could have just been to entice viewers to stick around.
Drikal’s chuckle did wicked things to me. “So it makes sense for a person to go from human to dragon, but the fact that their clothes remain on their human form goes too far? I fear the shift is more magic than science. We’ve studied it for generations and still cannot pinpoint most of the ways it works. Don’t you think Gerin would offer you a serum or something if she could induce the change through medicine?”
I shrugged. “It’s still a lot to take in.”
“And you’re doing well.”
Was I? I hadn’t succumbed to a panic attack or anything, but if that was the standard, it seemed a bit weak. I pushed those doubts out of my mind. We didn’t have time for them. Not now. “Okay, how do I do this?”
Drikal took both of my hands in his and kissed my knuckles. “Find your center and your dragonflame should be there. Once you’ve found it, let it engulf you and let go of your human form. You can do this.” He dropped my hands and stepped back to a safe distance. More than safe. Did he think I was going to be the size of a space station?
Didn’t matter. I wasn’t sure that anything Drikal said made actual sense, but it was all the advice I had. Maybe there was a book somewhere in the keep called “So your body’s changing and you’re gonna be a dragon” but no one had offered it to me. I took a deep breath and tried to find my center, just as Drikal had said.
I pushed away my doubts and fears, both about this transformation and what my relationship meant with him. I didn’t let myself worry that if the shift worked I wouldn’t be able to go back home, or maybe wouldn’t want to. I didn’t worry about what it meant to love or be loved or the fact that I was kidding myself about the depth of my emotions for the man in front of me. I let go of it all and closed my eyes, looking for this so-called dragonflame.
The sun beat down on us, but I shivered. That was strange. Why would I shiver if I was warm? But the warmth wasn’t coming from outside. There was a chill in the air despite the bright sun, one that had made me think about wearing a jacket before deciding against it.
And yet my chest was warm. I placed my hand over my heart and could feel something different. It didn’t hurt, but heat engulfed my fingers. I wanted to open my eyes, but I was certain if I did whatever I was feeling would disappear. So I let it wrap around my fingers and sank into the heat.
It crawled up my arm, almost like flames ticklin
g me, not that I’d know what that felt like. The warmth spread across my skin, even making the hair at the back of my neck stand on end until there wasn’t a part of me that could feel the chill in the air or the sun’s rays.
And then I let go.
Between one breath and the next, my lungs expanded as my skin shifted from human to dragon. I could breathe in deep and when I breathed out, a puff of smoke came out my nostrils. I wanted to laugh, but when I tried, I breathed a bit of fire and realized I shouldn’t do that until I figured out how not to burn everything down around me.
I turned to ask Drikal how to do that before I remembered that I couldn’t talk. He was just a speck, like I was looking at him from the top of a building. But my eyes focused quickly and confusion washed over me as I saw his face.
He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t happy. He’d lost all color and looked ready to vomit.
I wanted to fly, wanted to feel the wind against my scales, but I couldn’t leave him here if something was wrong. Could he have received terrible news in the time it took me to shift? Could something be wrong with me?
Shifting back took barely a thought, and then I was on two feet and rushing towards him. I grabbed for his arm but he stepped back, as if he didn’t want to touch me.
Rejection. Just as I should have expected. It always came. So why did my heart threaten to crumble in two now?
“What is it?” I asked. I thought my voice would have been scratchy, but I felt just the same as I had before the change, except for the heat in my chest, which I now realized was the heart of my dragonflame. “What’s wrong?”
Drikal still had that sick look on his face. “You’re a wyvern.”
Chapter Sixteen
Drikal
As I’d watched my true mate find her center and begin her first shift, the amount of pride in me could have made me float in my human form. And when the air shimmered around her I wanted to shout in triumph. Of course my mate could figure it out. Of course she could harness her second form with the force of her mind.
And then everything had gone wrong.
For a moment all I saw was the glory of her form. She was covered in dark ruby scales and each of her wings was striped with brighter red and gold down the center. She looked like royalty with red plumage on her head that would ruffle in the wind. Her eyes shone their dragonflame and she breathed out smoke before coughing up fire, and that was when the enormity of the situation hit me.
She stretched out her wings and I saw claws coming out of them, rather than from her arms. Her wings were her arms, and she was smaller than most of the dragons in the keep. She was no dragon at all. Her size, her wings, even her plumage all marked her as one of our sworn enemy.
A wyvern.
What would my people do once they found out? She was my true mate. Surely they would accept her when I revealed that.
What would Greer and his wyverns do? A creature as magnificent as her must have had alpha blood for generations. He’d want her for himself and I’d tear his keep to the ground to keep that from happening.
Bile rose in my throat at the thought of what would happen. I’d been worried about minor incursions when it was my own mate that was likely to cause the war. How could I protect my mate if the combined forces of my people and the wyverns wanted me to give her up?
When she shifted back like she’d been doing it for years and approached me I didn’t even get to marvel at her control. That first shift was usually disorienting and exhausting, but my mate looked refreshed and happy.
She didn’t know.
She made it to me and reached out, but if I touched her I didn’t know what I would do. Shift and fly us both away to where no one could hurt her? Make for the portal so we could try our luck in another world? These weren’t the thoughts of an alpha and I needed to get control of myself.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” she asked, and she looked hurt.
This should have been a moment of celebration, something we could remember for all our lives as the moment she’d embraced all of herself. Instead all I could think of was the problems this had given us. For the first time since we’d known she had a dual nature I wished she didn’t. If her wyvern blood had been too weak we may have never known. But now we had to deal with the consequences.
“You’re a wyvern.” It tore out of me and suddenly I needed to touch her. I stepped forward, but this time it was Kristen who stepped back in confusion.
“What are you talking about?” She shook her head and looked down at her arms as if they had the imprint of her other form on them. “You said I was a dragon. You all said that. Now you’re saying I’m something else?” Her eyes got wide and snapped up to meet mine, her dragonflame, no, her wyvernflame glowing bright. “Are you saying I’m one of your enemies? Like one of those monsters who attacked you?” Her hands curled into fists and she seemed to shrink in on herself.
That wouldn’t do. “You will never be my enemy,” I vowed. I stepped close and pulled her into my arms, and this time she came, melting against me like we belonged together. We did belong together. She was my true mate whether she was human or dragon or wyvern, and I wouldn’t let that tear us apart. “There’s no way to tell the difference in our human forms.” I kissed the hair on the top of her head and rubbed a hand up and down her back. “It’s alright. It will be alright.”
“Is it?” The sound was muttered against my chest, but I could still make it out. “I saw what those wyverns did to you. I swear I didn’t know.”
Was that ever in doubt? Certainly not by me. “I know that. I can see your heart in all its goodness.”
She snorted as if I’d made a joke. “You clearly don’t know me very well. It’s only been a week.”
“The best week of my life.” Better than my first shift, better than confirming I was an alpha, better than taking my place as leader of the dragons. Nothing could compare to finding Kristen. “Things will not be easy, I am sure there will be objections, but nothing could make me turn against you.”
She pulled back a little and while I immediately missed the press of her body, it did make it easier to talk. She laced her fingers through mine and we began to walk aimlessly, our trail taking us away from the keep. We weren’t ready to go back, but moving made things easier to say.
“I’d understand if you wanted to send me home.” She said it so quietly that the wind almost carried her words away before they reached my ears. “I know I agreed to two weeks, but that was when we thought I was a dragon. Now that I’m a—now that I’m not, I get it. That wasn’t what you wanted. I won’t argue.” She didn’t look at me as she spoke, but her fingers were so tight around mine that she risked breaking them. Her words were strong, but I feared that if she wasn’t holding onto me she would have been trembling.
“I don’t want you to go.” Making this confession now felt premature, but if she wasn’t absolutely certain of my feelings she would try and save me from the trouble this newest revelation had caused. I knew that. She thought she was a passing fancy, something I would grow tired of and send away when the novelty wore off. It couldn’t be further from the truth. “I know that I said we would both give it a fortnight before making our decision, but I’ve known almost since we made that deal that I want you by my side. For good.”
“It’s been a week.” She stopped walking before pulling her hand away and rubbing at her face. I didn’t see any tears, but that didn’t mean they weren’t lurking. The emotions were running high. “How could you know you want me like that after a week?”
“How could I resist a brave, smart, sexy, beautiful woman who owns my every thought? I knew from the first hour that we truly spent time together that you were the one for me, that you were the one I wanted.” I’d never loved before, not like this, not in a way that would see me sacrifice everything if that was the only way to keep Kristen. “No one has challenged me as you do, as if I am a man rather than the alpha.”
“So you like me cause I argue and I put out?” She cr
ossed her arms and shook her head. “That’s not the basis of a relationship. Not a long lasting one. It’s not… it’s not…” she stuttered over the denial, making a sound of frustration. “It’s not safe! It’s not safe to base an entire future on a week as if whatever we’re feeling now will somehow stand the test of time.”
“I am an alpha dragon. Nothing is safe.” I wanted to reach for her again, but from the way she was holding herself, she looked like she would shatter with one touch. So I had to use my words to make it clear that she had a place with me as long as she wanted it and that it wouldn’t go away. “Has anyone told you about true mates?”
Her eyebrows drew down as if I’d just shifted the conversation in a way she didn’t expect. “No, but I’m guessing from context it’s like a soulmate? Someone you think is fated to be with you or whatever?”
“Know, not think.” There was no writing in the sky to tell us we were meant to be, but her flame hadn’t burned me and that was enough.
“So you think that we’re fated to be together?” Her skepticism was thick in the air. “I don’t believe in fate.”
“You came from a planet thousands of light years away because a stranger plucked you out of a fight. You landed on a planet filled with dragons and wyverns and found out that you have dr—you have wyvern blood in your veins. And we have found one another. How does that happen if not fate?” I didn’t want our entire relationship based on the fact that the stars had aligned to bring us together, we were stronger than that. But Kristen needed to know that more than lust bound us. I could give her this.
“Your mom put the Celestial Mates agency up to finding me. That’s literally their only purpose: finding people who would be good matches. How is that fate?” She was fighting it hard, but she’d stopped hugging herself and seemed a bit more open to persuasion.