Lucinda flinched. Marry again. That wasn’t exactly what Ronan had implied when he told her he wanted her. That when he returned to the shire, she could have whatever she liked if she wanted it. He had offered to be her lover, not her husband. And she doubted Nicholas would be as accepting of that idea, even if she had the nerve to confess it.
Before either she or Nicholas could continue on the awkward subject, the door to the parlor opened and Nicholas’s butler stepped into the room. “I beg your pardon, my lord, but there is a parcel here for you.”
“Ah, excellent,” Nicholas said as he got to his feet. “Excuse me, ladies, I have been waiting for this.”
Jane’s brow wrinkled as she looked at her husband, but she didn’t question what he had received, nor stop him as he left the room.
“That man. I shiver when I think of what he could have ordered for me this time,” Jane laughed.
Lucinda smiled. “He loves you, that is as clear as the color of his eyes or the part of his hair.”
Jane nodded. “And I love him.”
“You are lucky,” Lucinda said softly. “Appreciate every moment you have with him.”
Jane reached out and took Lucinda’s hand gently and the two women looked at each other with a gaze filled with meaning. Lucinda knew she didn’t have to tell Jane about loss. She had experienced it, herself, when her father and brother died.
“Are you well?” Jane asked as she released Lucinda’s hand and the moment passed.
Lucinda blinked. “Of course. Why?”
Jane settled back against the settee and watched Lucinda carefully. “Nothing in particular, you simply seem a bit out of sorts. I want to be certain that nothing has happened.”
Even though she tried to control the reaction, Lucinda felt her eyes go wide at Jane’s question. “Happened? No, of course not. What could have happened? Nothing happened.”
Jane’s gaze narrowed to one that Lucinda knew well after two years of mourning. So many people had given her that look of worry, tinged with pity. She had come to hate it. Hate being treated as if she were a piece of glass that could shatter with even the slightest upset.
“I saw you speaking with Lord Blythestone last night,” Jane said softly.
Lucinda frowned, unable to stop the annoyance that arose in her whenever she thought of Blythestone and his pompous posturing. “Yes.”
“I hope he isn’t the reason you bring up the subject of developing an interest in a new man,” Jane said with a frown of her own.
Lucinda sat back in the chair in utter disbelief and simply stared at Jane.
“If you do give your affections to someone new, I hope that it would be someone worthy,” Jane continued without breaking her gaze at Lucinda.
Lucinda shook her head as a harsh burst of laughter escaped her lips. “Trust me, Jane, I would never give my affections to a man like Blythestone.”
“No?” Jane’s relief was obvious. “Thank goodness. I could hardly believe that would be true, but the timing made me ask.”
“Well, it was certainly not Blythestone who inspired my statement to Nicholas.” Lucinda shuddered. “The very idea of such a union makes my skin crawl.”
Jane nodded her agreement. “But if not him, then who? Was there some other man here at our party, or perhaps one left behind in London who inspired you to think of a future beyond widow’s weeds?”
Lucinda pushed to her feet and paced to the window to look outside. She had never been very good at lying and Jane was a smart woman who would likely recognize the signs if Lucinda wasn’t careful.
“No one,” she said as she looked out into the garden below. “I was only speaking in hypotheticals when I brought up the subject, nothing inspired by any particular person.”
“I see,” Jane said, her tone entirely neutral.
Lucinda looked over her shoulder at her sister-in-law, but she couldn’t tell if Jane believed her statement or not. She shrugged. “I think I shall go upstairs for a bit, if you don’t mind. I feel a touch of a headache coming on, perhaps I am overly tired.”
Jane got up and nodded. “Of course, Lucinda. Please, rest and feel better. This is your time and you should spend it in whatever way pleases you.”
Lucinda jerked her gaze to her sister-in-law, but Jane’s calm expression hadn’t changed. She wasn’t referring to Ronan. She wasn’t referring to the offer he had made to Lucinda that Jane certainly knew nothing about. But as she slipped from the room, Jane’s words haunted Lucinda nonetheless. Without meaning to, she had given Lucinda some kind of permission to pursue… well, whatever she liked while she was residing in the country estate.
And that idea was becoming more and more bewitching with every passing moment.
Chapter Five
In all Rage’s life, three days had never passed so slowly, not been so utterly uncomfortable. His days had been filled with the business he truly had to attend to on Nicholas’s behalf, but even as he fulfilled those duties, he had been distracted with thoughts of Lucinda back in Ironfield. And the nights… well, those had been pure torment, filled with dreams of her kiss, with everything he wanted to do with her and to her that went much further than that kiss.
He shuddered as he pulled Jezebel to a halt in front of the house and climbed down. After a brief exchange of pleasantries with the servant, he entered the foyer and tugged his gloves from his hands. The house was quiet, not that he had expected to be greeted by anyone. Although perhaps in his deepest fantasies, he had pictured Lucinda waiting for him with open arms, but that was beyond foolish.
“Mr. Riley, I was told you had returned.”
He turned to find Gerald Foster entering from the rear of the house, carrying a ledger book under one arm. He ran the day to day operations of the estate in Ironfield and reported to Rage, who oversaw a far wider scope of Nicholas’s business. Although they had come from very different spheres in life, he liked Foster and knew the other man respected him, as well.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Foster. I trust everything ran smoothly in my absence.”
The other man gave a good natured smile. “Indeed. I have a list of the tenants who paid their rents yesterday if you’d like to look over them. Mr. and Mrs. Winston’s home needs a roof repair. If you are amenable, I can get my men on that this afternoon.”
“Of course,” Rage said, settling into the comforts of running the estate. “And while you’re at it-”
“There you are!”
Rage and Foster turned to see Stone coming down the hallway from the direction of his study. He was smiling wide and open and Rage returned the expression.
“Stone.” He extended a hand and his friend shook it. “Was just discussing some estate business with Foster here.”
“That can wait, can’t it Foster?” Stone asked. “I think my friend and I require a stiff drink.”
Foster nodded. “Of course, my lord.”
Rage sighed. Sometimes Stone did remember he was a lord and acted accordingly. “Foster, have the other roofs checked while your men are out. It’s been a while since we did upkeep in that manner and if one is damaged, others may require repair, too. We can speak about the rest later.”
Foster made a quick note, gave a bow to his employer and headed back toward the kitchen exit of the house. Stone clapped an arm around Rage as the two men made their way back to Stone’s study and the promised drinks.
“So,” his friend said as they entered the study and he closed the door behind them. “Should I be worried about my interests in Littlefield?”
Rage blinked. “No. Why?”
“Well, one moment you and I were discussing that at some point in the next six months you would go over there and appraise the property, less than twelve hours later you saddled up your horse and took off to take care of my business there without anything but a note about where you were going.”
“Ah.” Rage shifted uncomfortably. “I apologize if I worried you.”
Stone looked at him for a long moment, then turn
ed to pour the drinks. “I see. Well, I wasn’t worried so much as taken aback by the abrupt nature of your departure. All of us were.”
Rage swallowed. “All?”
Stone nodded as he handed over a whiskey to Rage and then settled behind his desk. Rage took the seat across from him and sipped the drink.
“Yes. Even Lucinda asked after you.” Stone shook his head. “Why in the world did you feel the need to rush off so suddenly?”
Rage shifted in the chair and took another long sip of whiskey as he searched for a good excuse for his hasty actions. “I simply thought this would be an opportune time to make the trip since we are so close by.” He set his drink on the desk across from him. “Did Lucinda – er, Lady Stoneworth say why she was interested?”
Nicholas stared at him. “Why?”
“Just curious,” Rage said with a shrug that he hoped signaled nonchalance. “I’m surprised she noticed my departure at all.”
“Well, she did,” Stone said. “As for why, I couldn’t tell you since she didn’t say specifically. I think she feels a bit distanced from Society since my brother’s death, out of place. Perhaps she sees you as a contemporary in that distance, another outsider.”
Rage blinked. As much as he desired Lucinda, he had no illusions that they were equal in any way. “But she isn’t an outsider.”
Stone laughed. “No, indeed she is not, not in reality. And perhaps she is realizing that again. She spoke of marrying again.”
Rage’s eyes went wide before he caught up his drink and downed it in one slug. The liquid burned as it slipped down his throat and did nothing to ease the sickening ache in his belly. If Lucinda had spoken of marrying again, then that gave him his answer to whether or not she would pursue his confession of desire. And the answer was a no.
“Did she?” he said when it was clear Stone was waiting for him to respond.
“I suppose we all knew this time would come,” Stone said with a small sigh. “After all, she is a beautiful woman, still in the prime of her life. It would be foolish and selfish to assume she would wrap herself in grief forever and remain married to a ghost.”
Rage pursed his lips. He had no response to his friend’s very good points. Only disappointment that he would not have a chance to share even a fleeting moment with Lucinda before she took up some titled man’s offer of marriage and settled back into her life of propriety so far away from his own existence.
There was a light knock on the door and Stone looked up. “Enter.”
Rage was just as happy for the interruption. He wasn’t certain he could maintain his composure if Stone insisted on continuing to discuss Lucinda’s future. At least with an intruder in the room, he could catch his breath. Remember himself.
Except that when he half-turned to look at that intruder, it was Lucinda, herself, who stepped into the chamber. She was smiling, but as her gaze fell on him that smile wavered, then fell and she caught a short breath. God, but she was beautiful. It seemed she grew more so every time he looked at her. Today she wore a yellow gown, cut with a lower bodice and with fine white lace running along the top for modesty. But he could see the slight swell of her breasts before they vanished beneath silk and cotton. And God, how he wanted to taste them. To feel her arch beneath his mouth as he pleasured her.
She blushed like she had read his mind and then gripped the door handle with a white knuckled fist.
“Ron-Mr. Riley,” she said, her voice holding just the faintest tremble. “I did not realize you had returned.”
Stone got to his feet and smiled. “Just a few moments ago, actually. But you aren’t interrupting us. Please, do you need something?”
She stared at Rage a second more and then forced her stare to her brother-in-law’s face. “Yes. No. I mean, I was upstairs with Jane when she received-”
Stone laughed. “Ah, my package.”
“Yes.” Lucinda’s smile returned, gentle and kind. Rage had never seen someone with such a kind smile, a smile that reflected her very soul. “I was coming down anyway and I said I would check for you in your study.”
Stone came around the desk with a broader grin. “Well, then I shall go up and she how she looks in it. Thank you for fetching me.”
“She looks more than well,” Lucinda reassured him.
Stone touched her arm as he departed the room and suddenly Rage and Lucinda were alone. She remained at the door, fiddling with the handle as she stared at him.
“H-He bought her a gown for the ball tonight,” she explained when the silence had stretched between them for what seemed like an eternity, though it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds.
Rage nodded as he finally pushed to his feet, as propriety dictated he should have done the moment Lucinda entered the room. The rules were so easy to forget, especially when he was off kilter. And it seemed that the moment Lucinda Stoneworth came into his field of vision, he was destined to be decidedly off kilter, indeed.
~~~
Why was he just staring at her? Why didn’t he speak?
Lucinda shifted, strumming her fingers against the door handle out of pure nervousness. Ronan was standing now, but he hadn’t spoken in what seemed like half an hour. And his handsome, hard, angular face was impossible to read. She had no idea if he was happy to see her, apathetic or even angry.
“H-hello,” she said and felt stupid the moment the word left her lips.
But at least it elicited the smallest of smiles from Ronan. “We did that part already,” he said softly.
She blushed to her very toes. “Y-Yes. I suppose we did.” She struggled for a new topic since he seemed to be perfectly happy to let her flounder like a fish thrown on the shore. “The ball tonight,” she finally settled on. “Will you attend?”
Ronan let out a heavy, put-upon sigh. “Stone always seems to rope me into these foolish things one way or another, so I would assume yes, I will be in attendance.”
“Good.” She breathed a sigh of relief before she realized she was about to do it and her blush grew hotter. “I mean, I’m glad you came back.”
“I told you I would,” he said.
He hadn’t moved since he stood up. Certainly, he had done nothing to invade her space or push her, but yet he seemed to have grown in size. To fill the chamber with his presence as he always did.
“You did. But when you vanished so suddenly and it seemed to surprise Nicholas so much, I wondered.” She shook her head. “At any rate, I would like to talk to you about-”
Now he did move and the sudden action silenced her as much as his voice when he said, “I’m sorry, my lady, but now is an inopportune time. If you will excuse me, I need to join Mr. Foster to discuss some estate business that Stone distracted me from.”
Lucinda stared in disbelief as Ronan gave her a very proper bow and slid past her into the hall and away toward the kitchen exit of the house. She stepped into the room, where Ronan’s leathery, warm scent still lingered to tease her and sat down hard on one of the chairs near the fire.
What had just happened? When Ronan left, he had made it very clear that she was in control of the next part of their relationship, but then he had cut her off quite rudely. Left her alone without even a hint that he cared what her decision was when it came to how they would proceed during her time here in Ironfield. Had he lost interest so quickly? He had told her he wanted her for quite some time, but perhaps that was a lie? Perhaps he had only said it to… well, she had no idea why he would say something so shocking if he didn’t mean every word of it.
But then, she didn’t really understand the man who had just strode out of the study with not so much as a backwards glance at her. There was really only one thing clear to her from this situation: she wanted to know more. And she wasn’t quite ready to give up yet.
~~~
Rage wanted to punch someone. Hard. He wanted to vent his frustration on another person and feel a little blood, pain and sweat in return just to forget. But he was trapped in “civilized” society an
d there was no way he could obtain what he desired. In more ways than one.
Music permeated the air around him, but the pianoforte and other instruments sounded harsh and loud to his ears. When he looked across the ballroom and his gaze found Jane and Stone, standing close together, whispering some kind of loving things to each other, he did not feel happiness for his friend, but jealousy.
And when he gazed onto the dance floor and saw Lucinda spinning in the arms of some other man… well, the jealousy boiled to something much harder and more dangerous. He stared without checking himself, memorizing the sway of Lucinda’s gown. Tonight it was blue and matched the darkness of her eyes. He burned into his brain the picture of her smile as she spoke to her partner.
Then the man, whoever he was, Rage didn’t even know, turned her slightly and her gaze slammed into his from across the room. She stared at him, even as she continued the intricate steps. Watching him, focused on him.
He turned away and started toward the terrace doors as the music ended. He didn’t want to see Lucinda take up with her next waiting partner. It was a bit like torture as he wondered which one she might one day take as her next husband. Had she already met him? Was she already plotting the course of some kind of great romance with a man who knew which fork to use at supper or which gentleman was member of which party in parliament?
He shoved the door shut behind him and drew in a harsh breath of the soft summer air. He strode to the terrace wall and leaned against the stone, staring out across the estate in the moonlight. This was ridiculous. He hadn’t ever had Lucinda. She wasn’t his, she had simply allowed his kiss in a moment of weakness. So to be so upset at her “loss” was ridiculous to say the least.
He heard the door to the terrace open behind him and flinched. He didn’t want company, or to be bothered. Without looking back, he started away from the doors and toward the dark corners of the terrace. There were stairs back there, ones that led down to the gardens where he could slip back inside through the back and go up to his chamber. Or perhaps just take a long, hard run by moonlight in the hopes that it would clear his mind.
Rogue for a Night Page 4