by Belleza
Johan had been gone on a business trip for only two days already, and I was missing him like crazy.
“You left me,” I half whined.
“I’ll be back soon, love, but what’s got you really bothered?”
“You don’t think I miss you?”
He chuckled, and I envisioned his bright white smile in my head. "Nah, I believe it, but you're answering the phone like someone has been bothering you."
"That damn school," I huffed. "Jeremy has been giving them a hard time."
“When has this been happening? You need me to come back?”
“No!”
“You sure?”
"Yes…" I replied although I really wanted him to talk to Jeremey. He was getting older, and sometimes a stern conversation from me didn't help. I never really use to beat him growing up because I knew how the ass whoopings I used to get affected me. We got hit with anything growing up, extension cords, brooms, pot spoons, you name it we got our ass beat with it. Not that we were terrible to be whooped like slaves, but parents didn't really have patience and understanding as we did now. Shit, we can barely say we didn't like something because it was a sign of disrespect. Imagine getting wrongfully accused of something, and you couldn't speak up to defend yourself because it was considered talking back to an adult. I didn't have a rough childhood because I received the necessities; food, clothes, and shelter, but I could've done without the beatings and stipulations.
“I’m going to go get the boys from school today.”
“Cool, Asahd will be over to take them to practice. I know you gotta be tired.”
“Tired is an understatement,” I sighed. “I need some rest and my man home.”
“I’ll be there soon. I’ll drop everything for you and have my assistant handle everything.”
“NO. I can manage.”
“A’ight. Let me know what’s going on with Jeremy. I’ll come back and have a talk with him too.”
There was nothing like a man that took the weight off your shoulders. “Thanks.”
“Let me get back to this meeting. I’ll call you later. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
***
"Where's Jeremy?" I questioned the boys as soon as I spotted them standing near the gate where I instructed them to wait for me in the schoolyards.
The school was an elementary and middle school combined, so dismissal was chaotic. Hordes of children were moving around rushing to their buses or to their family member that waited either on the sidewalk or cars.
Of course, Joey, Jared, and Jace were all together as I asked and my son was nowhere to be found.
"I saw him talking to some guy," Jace told me after the other two shrugged their shoulders.
I glanced around the yard hoping to be able to spot my son. My heart dropped to my chest when I saw him talking to an older man. That older man happened to be his father.
Frantically, I passed Joey the keys to my car. “Go wait in the car for me please.”
My mind went blank, and I should've checked to make sure they did as they were told even though the three of them didn't have an issue with following instructions but I needed Jeremy to get away from his sperm donor.
Who, what, when, why, and how questions shot through my brain as I rushed over to them. Jerry, his father, locking eyes with me stopped me in my tracks instantly. He was a terrible person. A few feet away I still managed to feel the negative energy radiating off of him.
I wish I would've known the vanilla, green-eyed man was the devil himself. He was that forbidden fruit that looked so good but was warned not to indulge in. Yup that was him. He caused all the havoc in my life.
“Jeremy, let’s go,” I called out to him.
He snapped his head towards me and went to move, but Jerry held him back.
“What’s the rush for? You don’t see me spending time with my son?”
“Let’s go," I said again, but Jerry didn't let him go, and surprisingly Jeremy didn't budge.
“I can’t spend time with my son?!”
His voice was loud and harsh which caused Jeremy to even look at me sideways. This was why I was glad he was out of our life. No one needed that negativity around them. Jeremy was around that long enough because I thought a two-parent household was enough. I endured so much because I believed it was what my son needed. Life was tough, the city we lived in sucked up little boys and spit them out to be savages at a tender age either adding onto the death rate or stuffing them in prisons. It took me a while to accept we were better off without Jerry, however, every time there was a light shining over me he returned in an attempt to dim that shit.
“Now isn’t the time Jerry. We have to go. Please let me get my son,” I tried to reason with him.
"Come over here and get him," he taunted me with a snide smile. "I don't bite. What that nigga got you now wanting to co-parent with me?"
"Johan has nothing to do with your presence in his life!" I belted out. His smile deepened because this is what he wanted. He fed off my trepidation.
"Let me take my son, and I will drop him off to you."
"No!" I got the courage to step to him and yank Jeremy from his grasp. Instead of going back and forth with Jerry who happened not to put up a fight I marched off with Jeremy blocking out his father's annoying voice.
“Why you ain’t let me go with my dad?” Jeremy asked stopping once we got to the car.
“You don’t need to go with him anywhere,” I said sternly. “How did he know where you go to school?”
“I told him.”
“How?”
Jeremy sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Does it even matter? He's my father he has a right to know about be me."
I jarred my head back from his response. When given the opportunity to be a father he didn’t want to be one. Jeremy was old enough to remember the times he left him hanging.
“Excuse me? What is he telling you that got you defending him?”
“You heard me. He’s my dad. You just making it hard for us.”
My mouth dropped from the look Jeremy had his face contorted in. It caught me off guard because this wasn't my son. He was hard headed as fuck but downright disrespectful to me? No, this was not my child, and this was the exact reason I didn't care for Jerry to be around.
“Fix your face and get in the car,” I directed him and rounded the car to the driver side.
“Fat bitch.”
I stopped in my tracks and looked his way because I knew I had to have heard wrong. Did he just call me a bitch? By then he was already in the car, but I knew I heard.
I then focused on Jerry who was still standing in the same spot with that creepy ass smile on his face. I rolled my eyes and got in the car.
As much as I tried to play it cool, he was back, and I was wondering how long he was going to stick around to turn my life into a living hell.
ASAHD
“Is your homework done?”
Taking my eyes from off my phone I looked up to see who Natavia was speaking to over and over again and ain't get a response. I knew it wasn't my nephews being disrespectful, but when I saw it was her son it didn't make me feel any different as if it was one of them.
I sized up young bull and slipped my phone into my pocket.
“You don’t hear ya mom speaking to you?”
Jeremy smacked his lips which irritated me because that was some bitch shit but the agitation in his voice was just enough to make me snap.
“It’s done.”
He went to walk past me out the door behind Joey, but I grabbed his arm just in time to stop him.
“Aye, when ya mom speaking to you stop what you doing and look her in her face when you respond. That shit is disrespectful,” I told him. “And stop sucking ya fucking teeth. Men don’t do that shit.”
“Ok,” he responded with a pout. I held onto his arms waiting for him to jump bad but he kept his cool and I released him.
Once all the kids were out the door, N
atavia sighed and shook her head.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
"You think it's because my brother is gone?" I questioned her, and she lifted her shoulders.
"Maybe. This is all new for me. First, the school calling me nonstop and now he's been real mouthy."
"Shit, don't stress yourself out with his ass. You still have Zayne or me to straighten him out. I ain't for none of that shit he doing."
Natavia finally smiled. "Thanks a lot, Asahd but I don't want you hurting my baby."
My eyebrows rose as I pointed to the door Jeremy left out of. "That's not a baby. He's not even a teenager and almost as tall as you. He's athletic, and in a quick few years, he will grow taller and stronger. Right now he's sizing you up… feeling you out to see what he can get away with. You're a woman. I'll be damned if I sit and watch you go through some disrespectful shit with him now, and it snowballs into him roughing you up after you done smacked the hell out of him."
“You’re right,” she huffed. “I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t want to beat him.”
“Shiddddddd… I’ll fuck him up for you. No questions asked.”
“Bye, Asahd. Go take them to practice.”
“A’ight. I’ll take them off ya hands tonight so you can relax and get them to school in the morning.”
“I appreciate it.”
Natavia and I shared a quick embrace, and I walked out the front door closing it behind me.
***
Practice flew past, and I made sure I filled my brother's shoes by bringing light snacks and Gatorade for the team. I was always a part of my nephews and nieces lives. I treated them like they were my own. Since I had a little boy or girl on the way, my passion for them grew immensely.
Za'naa was supposed to be with us, but she opted out and FaceTimed me because she wasn't feeling well.
I was excited to find out what we were having. At this point, I didn't care what we had. If I had a son, I would be proud of course to have a little mini-me, however, getting a baby girl that would be as beautiful as her mother would also be the greatest gift. We were halfway through our journey before I held our child in my arms and just a week before we found out what it will be.
“How was practice?” Camille asked after I walked into the kitchen and witnessed her stuffing her face with a honeybun. She had the nerve to hide it behind her back as if I would look past the Little Debbie box and two open wrappers lying next to.
If I wasn't on her ass, I was sure she would OD on cakes. My baby probably was in there doing the Nay Nay with the amount of sugar she consumed. I kept telling her to watch that shit because it wasn't healthy at all. She thought it was, but it really wasn't. She not only craved cakes but she had this insatiable appetite for soda claiming she liked the bubbles. I went and brought her ass cases of sparkling waters, yet most of it was still there which proved my point, she was addicted to the fucking sugar.
“It was cool,” I replied snatching up the box of honey buns. I then took her arm from around her back and took a big bite of the honey bun she was going to town on. Her eyebrows furrowed. “Really, Asahd? I wanted that.”
"Ya fat ass had enough. You had two already, and you know you ain't supposed to be eating it."
Camille smacked her lips and tried to push me away from her. I sat the box down and placed my hands on each side of her on the counter where she sat.
“What I tell you about eating all this junk? Did you even make dinner?”
“I got food from Keira. She made Ziti.”
“Did you eat it?”
“Why would you call me fat Asahd?” she whined totally ignoring the question I asked.
"Because you're one honey bun away from that shit. You know I don't want you consuming all this damn junk, and then you gonna try and hide it. Don't change the subject. Did you eat the Ziti?"
“No. I was waiting for y’all to return.”
I knew she was lying but I saw it all in her damn face she was seconds from getting emotional so I walked away from her leaving the box of honey buns with her. I was pissed with her ass and trying my best not to lose my cool. As of late, it's been hot and cold with is, and it mainly only was a headache when she didn't want to listen. I was just looking out for her and my child, but she saw it as if I was antagonizing her.
As soon as I made it to my bedroom, and emptied my pockets, my phone began to ring, and I answered it when I saw it was Natavia.
"What's up, sis."
“Where’s that boy?” she sighed.
"I believe he in one of the rooms, they gotta be playing the game. We just walked in not too long ago." I put the phone on speaker and began to take my clothes off so I can get in the shower, eat and take my ass to bed. Them little niggas were damn near grown, so they knew the deal.
"I've been calling and texting him, and he keeps sending me to voicemail. All I want to do is talk to him Asahd."
"Hold on," I said sliding my pants back up to go look for Jeremy. I saw him on his phone the entire time, so there wasn't no reason why he couldn't speak to his mother. I went out into the hallway and called out his name. He responded right away, and I went to the room down the hall.
"You ain't see ya mom trying to get in contact with you?"
"No. I didn't get a call," he told me, and I knew he was lying.
I extended the phone to with an intense glare. “Holla at ya mom yo.”
He blew out his breath and got up placing the controller on the bed. He took my phone, and the entire time he acted as if he was annoyed to even hear from her. I tried to keep my cool and forget about earlier but all this shit was making me think about it all over again, and now I was even more pissed. When he was done, I took my phone from him and snatched him up by his t-shirt.
“Fuck I tell you about disrespecting ya mom? You must think I’m fucking playing with ya ass.”
“Get the fuck off him!”
Camille not only having base in her voice caught me off guard but her cursing at me had me release Jeremy and turn towards her. I had no idea where she came from or how long she was standing here, but she was looking like she was out for blood.
“You a’ight?” I quizzed not sure if I should step closer or back away because I felt threatened by her little ass.
“No! I’m sick of you! You need to mind your business!” she yelled. “He’s not your fucking son so you shouldn’t be putting your hands on him.”
Right then and there she broke out into tears, and I inched closer to her. "Yo, Mill, you need to calm down."
“Get away from me! All you do is talk shit and boss people around. Leave us all alone!” she cried and rushed down the hall and up the stairs to the third floor where the spare bedrooms were.
Gritting my teeth, I went after her, and she slammed the door right in my face as soon as I got there.
"Open the door man!" I pleaded with her attempting to sound calm, but at this point, I was over Jeremy and her crybaby ass. I don't understand why she was even coming at me.
“Leave me alone, Asahd.”
“Open the door or I’ma kick this fucking door in.”
Seconds later the door was pulled open, and Camille stood in front of me with a wet tear-stained face. I lifted my hand to wipe it off, and she jumped away as if I was reaching to hit her. She was really tripping and thought it was best she stayed in the room.
"I'm asking that you, please leave me alone," she begged with her face balled up.
I was done for the night. I wasn't about to kill myself to cheer her up when she didn't want to express the issue. Hopefully, some sleep was what she needed. I left her where she wanted to be and went back down the stairs to finish doing what I originally planned to do.
ERN
“I wanna be livin'
For the love of you, oh, yes, I am
All that I'm givin' is for the love of you, alright now, oh."
I made my way up from the basement following the melodic sound of the Isley Brothers. It
put me back at the time I was a youngin' attempting to win the heart of Shirley. I was 21 years old trying to secure the woman in my life.
Man, I was blessed for us to still be here and still madly in love. After the entire incident, I went and got us a house in Lower Merion and had Zayne put the house up for sale once it was renovated. There was no need for us living in the past. I had my woman. I had my family. I was out of the game, and we didn't need to be in the hood, so the change was necessary.
Shirley made sure she got the biggest house she could find keeping in mind that we had the boys and their families and plenty of room. Her wish was my command. She decorated it herself from top to bottom to her liking. My only request is that the basement was mine which she had no problem with agreeing with.
Once I made it out of the basement, I went down the vestibule to the kitchen and out to the front of the house where the living room was, and sure enough, she was jamming in her own little world.
Approaching her, I circled my free arm around her waist and pressed her body against mine.
“Lovely as a ray of sun, that touches me when the mornin' comes. Feels good to me, yeah my love and me," I sang in her ear swaying our bodies as the music serenaded out of the speakers. "This is our song," I told her kissing her cheek.
Shirley opted for wearing her hair in a shorter style once it began to grow back from getting it shaved off. Some days she got it curled, or in some waves. Men liked a woman with hair, but I was just fine with what my lady wanted. Shirley didn't need the anything to add onto her beauty.
“Uhum… your behind will always play this.”
"Music always comes in handy if you couldn't express yourself."
I kissed her again and turned around to face me. She rested her head on my chest, and we continued to dance to the song until the next song played.
“Am I interrupting anything?”
We both turned towards Asahd who was coming through the front door.
“Yeah. You don’t believe in knocking or a doorbell?” I responded jokingly still holding tight to Shirley.