“To England.” The flicker of pain on her face shamed him, but he shrugged it away. She had made the choice, not him. He would never let her know how much her words had wounded him.
She nodded and followed him out the door. The wind struck her, and she staggered. He took her arm to steady her, and they trudged down the path to the beach, stopping at the bow of the boat. The incoming surf lapped at the stern of the boat, and the moon glinted on the snow like quicksilver.
The silence between them stretched out like the ocean. For a moment Birch was tempted to take her in his arms again, to kiss her obstinacy away. Something in her eyes told him he might succeed, but he would not play that kind of game. She either loved him or she didn’t.
“Will I see you again?” Hannah asked timidly.
He wanted to tell her she had destroyed any chance for them, but the words caught in his throat. The thought of never seeing her again tugged at his heart. “Maybe, if I come this way again.” He would make no promises. He would try to purge this love from his life.
She nodded and turned her face up to the moonlight. “I shall pray for you, Birch. I shall pray that God heals the hurt in your heart and brings you back to him.”
A shaft of pain pierced his heart. Didn’t she realize that her love could heal him? Why did he need God for that? “Take care of yourself,” he said gruffly.
He wanted to kiss her again but couldn’t bear the thought of another rebuff. He simply squeezed her hand and shoved the boat into the icy waves. Setting his back to the oars, the last glimpse he had of her was atop the bluff with her hand raised in farewell. She reminded him again of an elusive mermaid, almost a twin of the figurehead on the bow of his ship. But she had felt all woman in his arms, and he wasn’t sure he could ever get the feel of her out of his mind.
CHAPTER 19
You wanted to see me, sir?” Galen stood at attention in front of the battered desk in the British Army’s makeshift office. The room had originally been the elegant parlor in this commandeered home. Galen wondered idly what had become of the owners. They would likely be distressed at the scarred floors and soiled furniture.
“At ease, Lieutenant.” Major Montgomery smiled genially. “Sit a moment.” He indicated the chair to Galen’s right.
Galen sat on the edge of the chair and stared at his superior. He didn’t trust him when he was too friendly. Of course, he really didn’t trust him much in any circumstances. The man was a lightweight and a fool. It chafed at Galen to have to kowtow to Montgomery, but he bided his time, hoping his stellar qualities would be noticed and he eventually would be the one in charge.
“Tea?” The major poured a cup of tea and offered it to Galen.
Galen shook his head. “Thank you, but no. I just had some at the shop down the street.”
Nonplussed, the major stared at the cup, then set it down in front of himself. He made an obvious effort to cover his irritation by leaning back in his chair to stare at Galen over his steepled fingers. “If you recall, Lieutenant, I asked you for a particular favor several months ago.”
Favor? Galen thought back and could remember no such request. “Sir?”
Montgomery frowned and sat forward with a thump of his chair. “At Molly’s party,” he snapped. “You agreed to bring Lydia Huddleston to New York. She’s here, all right, but as your doxy.” He stared at Galen accusingly.
Galen had forgotten. A smile tugged at his mouth, but he bit his lip. Lydia might prove useful to him after all. He had grown weary of her tiresome entreaties for marriage. This might be a way to get rid of her and bring about Montgomery’s downfall, all in one fell swoop.
He shrugged. “The woman came of her own will, Major. I think she tired of me as soon as she saw you at a few parties.” The lie slid off his tongue with ease.
“She did?” The major leaned forward like an eager young boy. “There is a ball on Friday. I should like her to accompany me.”
“I think that could be arranged. Maybe you should look for suitable housing for her, Major. A small house of her own where she could enjoy your visits privately as well as act as your hostess.”
Montgomery’s pale-blue eyes gleamed at the thought. “You are certain she would be agreeable to this arrangement?”
“Of course. As I said, she has pestered me with questions about you. Methinks you made quite an impression on her when you met in Gurnet.”
Montgomery smiled. “See to it then, Lieutenant. I shall commandeer a house for her.”
Galen stood and saluted. “Yes, sir.” He hurried from the room and turned toward his quarters. He would have a hard time convincing Lydia, but he was confident he could accomplish his mission. The little fool would do anything to help him. All he had to do was make her believe his very life hung in the balance. Which shouldn’t be too hard. She still believed he would marry her.
Lydia plunged Galen’s clothes into the tub and scrubbed them against the washboard. Humming, she rubbed at a spot on the neck of the wet shirt. It was wonderful to have her own man to care for and look after. The lye stung her eyes, and she wiped the tears with the back of her arm. Galen should be home soon. Mayhap they would go out tonight. She was tired of these four walls, but she knew he was simply trying to protect her. The whistles and catcalls from the other men distressed him when he took her out, although she tried to assure him it didn’t matter.
The laundry finished, she laid it over a couple of chairs by the fire to dry. Peering in a mirror, she removed the hairpins and let her golden locks fall down her back as she changed her gown for a clean one. Galen liked her hair loose on her shoulders. The small house was in readiness for his arrival. It was important that his home be a haven for him from the stress of his day. Since their arrival in New York, it had seemed almost as if they were married.
The front doorknob rattled. He was home. She smiled and hurried to greet him. He was scowling when he shut the door, and her heart sank.
“Let me take your coat,” she said with a coaxing smile. She helped him off with his coat and hung it on the hook by the door.
“Fix me some tea and biscuits. My stomach is rumbling.”
“Rough day?” She stroked his arm.
“We shall discuss it over tea,” he said ominously.
Her heart fell. It must be terrible news. She’d never seen him in such a state. She took the teakettle from the fire and poured the water into the waiting teapot. While the tea steeped, she put some biscuits on a plate with some butter and jam, then carried it all over to the sofa.
Galen sighed and stuck out a foot. “Pull.”
She set the tray on the table and tugged off his boots. Sitting beside him, she poured two cups of tea and handed him one, then prepared a biscuit and gave it to him as well.
He popped the biscuit into his mouth and took a gulp of tea. Leaning back against the sofa, he stared at her.
Were those tears in his eyes? Fear gripped her, and she put a hand to her throat. “What is it? What is wrong?”
“Everything. I am being transferred to another detachment, one on the front lines. I shall likely not survive another month. The colonials target the officers.”
The impact of his words took a few moments to sink in. Horror filled her. “No, Galen, that cannot be! You are valuable here. They would not dare do this.” The image of his blood-splattered body on a battlefield made her shudder.
“Tell that to Major Montgomery.” His shoulders drooped. “There is only one thing that would save me, but I refused his offer.”
For a moment she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. There was a way out, and she had to persuade him to take it. She laid a hand on his arm. “No matter what it is or how distasteful, you must do it.” He set his hand over hers. The unexpected gesture of tenderness almost broke the tenuous hold she had on her grief.
“It is out of the question. I would not ask a woman I love to do such a thing.”
“Me? Can I do something to save you?” Confusion filled her. She had thought he w
ould have to bend his pride or apologize for harsh words. What could she possibly do to alter the situation?
He heaved a sigh. “You met Major Montgomery in Gurnet, did you not?”
“You know I did. The major is the one who has made this decision? I shall speak with him myself about it. He seems a most reasonable man.” For the first time, she felt hopeful. She liked Major Montgomery and had seen the admiring glances he had sent her way.
“He was quite taken with you, Lydia.” Galen leaned forward and lifted her hand to his lips. “And with good cause. You are the most beautiful woman in New York.”
Her heart swelled with love and joy at his words. Sometimes she had wondered if he regretted her arrival, but such high praise soothed her fears. Finally, he had put his feelings for Hannah away. He was hers now, and Hannah would never move him again. “I am surprised he would notice me. Does he want me to go back to Gurnet? I could ask to be allowed to stay with Hannah again and take the pillory as punishment.” She hated the thought of spying on her sister again, but she would do it for Galen’s sake.
He smiled tenderly. “Nothing so arduous.” He turned her hand over and kissed her palm.
The touch of his lips on her palm made her shiver. How she loved him. No task would be too great if it saved him from death. The thought that she wielded such power over his fate gave her a sense of purpose. “What does he want me to do?” She could make a good spy.
He sighed again. “He wishes—” He broke off and shook his head. “It is impossible.”
“Tell me!”
He directed a pleading gaze at her. “He wishes you to accompany him to a ball on Friday. And he would like to give you a nice house where he might visit with you and get to know you better. Do you realize what that might mean, Lydia? What he probably expects?”
Her heart sank, and a knot squeezed in the pit of her stomach. She knew what Galen meant. She wasn’t the innocent fool she’d been a year ago. She rose and clasped icy hands together. She couldn’t do such a thing. To go to a man she didn’t know, much less love? To leave Galen, the love of her life? She shook her head. She couldn’t do it.
Galen stood and turned his back to her. “I told him it was impossible, of course. Would you help me pack my belongings? I shall pay for you to stay in the house for the next three months. That’s all the money I have. When I’m dead and the time is up, maybe you can go back to your parents.”
When he was dead? The seriousness of the situation struck her. What good was her love if he was dead? She shuddered as she began to seriously entertain the idea he proposed. “Would I still be able to see you?”
“I suppose, but you cannot do this, Lydia. I cannot allow it.”
As long as she could still see Galen, still be held in his arms and feel his lips on hers, she could bear anything. Anything, if it meant Galen wasn’t dead and buried in the cold ground. She shuddered again. “I must do it, Galen. If this is the only thing that will save your life, how can I do otherwise?”
For a moment she wondered if she should take back those words and trust Galen’s fate to God, but she didn’t have the faith Hannah did. She often wished she did, but turning to God would require giving up Galen. She couldn’t do that.
He turned around to face her, and tears glimmered in his eyes. “You would do this for me?”
“I told you I would do anything for you, Galen. Anything.” She stepped into his arms and cuddled her head against his chest. His uniform smelled of wet wool and tobacco, a comfortable, familiar scent. She must treasure every moment they spent together. The steady cadence of his heart thudded beneath her ear, and she tightened her arms around him. “Will the major give me time to get to—to get to know him?”
“I am certain he will.” He kissed the top of her head. “I know not how to thank you for saving my life, Lydia. Say nothing of this to the major. He must think you came to him of your own free will, not under duress.”
A slight shudder ran through her, and Galen’s embrace tightened. Bile rose in her throat, but she choked it back. No sacrifice was too great. Her good name was gone anyway.
She knew her sister would entreat her to trust God and let him work it out. That was always Hannah’s advice. But these were desperate times, and she had seen too much death. Many of the laughing young officers she’d met at balls over the past three months were now dead and buried. As long as she drew breath, that wouldn’t happen to Galen.
How could she tell Hannah?
She wouldn’t. She would let her think she was still with Galen. Sweet, pure Hannah must never know the depths to which her sister had fallen. Lydia didn’t think she could bear to see the pain and disappointment in Hannah’s eyes.
“You will enjoy the parties and soirees the major enjoys. He will certainly find a nicer house than this. You will merely entertain him a few nights a week and act as his hostess for soirees and balls.”
Soirees and balls? That sounded promising. She could endure the other for the fun of parties. Would the major buy her new gowns? That prospect thrilled her. And she did like him. He was attractive and clean with good teeth.
“I can find out his schedule and see you on nights when he is otherwise occupied.” Galen caressed her hair. “Then when the war is over, we can be wed.”
Lydia sighed. It would be all right. This was but a wrinkle in their plans. As long as Galen loved her, everything would turn out for the best.
CHAPTER 20
MAY 5, 1777
Hannah, what are you doing up there?”
She looked down from her perch on the side of the leeward tower of the lighthouse. Olive appeared farther away than she sounded. Since she’d first crawled out the window with the rope around her waist to apply a fresh coat of whitewash to the lighthouse, she hadn’t dared look down. Now that she had, a wave of dizziness swept over her, and she tightened her grip on the railing.
“Come down this instant! What if someone saw you in those breeches? ’Tis disgraceful.” Olive’s voice rose in pitch to a near screech.
Hannah dragged her gaze from her sister-in-law far below her and began to inch her way back to the open window. The railing was narrow and treacherous, and even with the rope securing her, she felt uneasy. The wind blew incessantly, and the pounding of the surf below the bluff filled her head and made it hard to concentrate. She marshaled her thoughts and focused on sliding her hands along the rail until she reached the safety of the window and crawled inside the tower. She let out the breath she’d been holding and shuddered. She would be glad when this job was done. After putting down her bucket of whitewash, she descended the spiral stairs, the metal clanging in her haste.
Olive’s face was pale when Hannah exited the tower. “You must hire that job done, Hannah. What if something happened to you?”
Hannah put a hand on Olive’s shoulder. “Come inside for tea. You must not worry. God is in control.” She would have had to stop anyway. Fog was beginning to roll in from the ocean.
Olive sighed. “Methinks you should preach instead of Pastor Goodman. At least you tell me of God’s love and care.” She followed her sister-in-law to the house.
Piercing the shell Olive had wrapped around herself hadn’t been easy, but she had been right to think the young woman needed a friend. The past few months had yielded the fruit of friendship between them.
“What were you doing up there?” Olive shaved slivers of tea into the caddy and handed it to Hannah. “I was affrighted just watching you.”
“The lighthouse is in a disgraceful condition.” Hannah poured the tea, and the women took their cups to the chairs and table by the window. The fog had grown so thick, she couldn’t see the surf. Which meant any ships out there would be unable to see the light. “If the inspector were to come, I would be fired. I must reapply the whitewash and clean the windows. Now that spring is here, I can put it off no longer.” Neither were duties she relished, but they had to be done. It was her responsibility.
Olive shuddered. “Hire a man from
the village to do it. Spending the money would be better than falling to your death.”
“There is no man able to do it. The young ones are gone to war. Can you imagine someone like Ephraim Baxter on that railing?” Hannah smiled at the thought.
“Nathan would do it,” Olive said with a knowing wink.
Hannah laughed. “He would probably try. But he is too old to be up there.” She would rather avoid mention of Nathan. Daily he pressed his offer of marriage more earnestly.
“He is not that old.” Olive waved her hand. “Faith, but I do not understand why you hesitate to accept him, Hannah. He would make you a good husband.”
“Are you so eager to share me with a husband?” Hannah teased. “Then I should not have time to listen to your woes. What brings you by today? You seem a trifle distracted.” She’d noticed the way Olive pleated the folds of her skirt, a sure sign of distress in her sister-in-law.
“You know me too well.” Olive sighed and took a sip of tea. “Mama is determined to marry me off.”
“’Tis nothing new, Olive.” Indeed it wasn’t. Finding a man to wed her daughter had become Mother Thomas’s mission in life.
“But now she has got it into her head to send me to Aunt Maddie in Boston. She thinks I shall find a suitable husband among the wealthy there.” Olive shook her head. “Why can she not see that no man would pick a wife with a face like mine? I overheard the last man tell his friend that he expected me to whinny any minute!” Tears of mortification sparkled in her eyes.
Hannah bit her lip. She had once thought the same of her sister-in-law’s long, horsey face and shrill voice, but the cruel words were painful to hear now that she loved her as a sister. She’d seen a change in Olive since they had become friends too. It was almost as if Olive was imitating Hannah’s manners and voice. She’d moderated her tone and dressed in more feminine ways. Surely some man would see her qualities if she was patient.
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