“It makes sense,” he husked and closed his fingers over her hand, holding it to him. “It might take a while for it to sink in, but you know it makes sense, Ivy.”
She took her hand from his and sank back on her bottom again. “Should I feel bad that we killed him? I feel as if I should.”
He growled and grimaced as he twisted towards her, propping himself up on his left elbow. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. I killed him. It had nothing to do with you.”
“But it did.” She caught the shock that flitted across his handsome face as her eyes met his. “You killed him because of me… because he threatened me.”
He looked as if he wanted to deny that, but no words left his lips. He just stared at her in silence before lowering his gaze to the floor, and then looking off to her left, towards the door.
“I wanted to kill him,” he whispered, his deep voice laced with anger. “I vowed the night his grandfather and father attacked my pride that all in his bloodline would pay for what they had done.”
His grey eyes drifted back to her, filled with warmth and something else, something she felt sure was fear.
“When he… the thought of you… I couldn’t stop myself.”
She had felt that in him when he had been pinning Alexander. She had felt his fury, his need to protect her, how it had driven him despite his injuries, had made him hurt himself in order to keep her safe.
“I know,” she whispered and lifted her hand, stroked it over the bandages across his right shoulder, her eyes on them. “You wanted to protect me.”
He trusted her too. She could feel that in him and knew in her heart that this was a huge step for him, that after everything he had suffered, placing his faith in a human had been difficult but he had been willing to take the risk for her.
“I would have told you.” Those husky low spoken words had her eyes lifting to meet his again. “About me. I was coming to tell you… something… never mind.”
She would mind, and he was going to have to live with that.
“What? You were going to tell me what?” She shifted her hand from his chest to his cheek, ran her fingers along the strong line of his jaw, his scruff tickling her fingertips, and tipped his chin up when he lowered his eyes, making him look at her. “You can tell me, Rath. You weren’t coming to tell me you could transform into a cougar… you were coming to tell me something else.”
Something she could see was important to him.
“I wanted to ask you…” He blew out his breath. “I was going to ask you to stay.”
Her heart thumped at that and the sincerity in his eyes, the deep desire she could feel in him and knew stemmed from his need for her to remain here with him.
She wrestled with herself as she looked at him, as his feelings trickled through her, and she replayed everything that had happened, not just the fight with Alexander this time but everything that had come before it too. She sifted through her feelings, did her best to purge the lingering fear and all her doubts, and look at him with clear eyes, and an unclouded heart.
“I’ll stay… until you’re healed.” She cursed herself for adding that when a flicker of disappointment crossed his face, hurt she had wanted to see so she could know his true feelings, what he really desired and how strongly he wanted it. It was cruel of her, but she needed to know, because this was a huge step for her too. “Or longer… if you’ll let me stay.”
He reached up with his right hand, tunnelled his fingers through her chestnut waves and clasped the nape of her neck. She leaned forwards when he applied the barest hint of pressure, bringing her forehead down against his. He held her there, his eyes closed, his breathing steady, his grip strong on her nape.
“I’d like that.”
She went to smile, but it faltered when he continued.
“But there’s one thing you need to know if you’re going to stay.”
A chill went down her spine, and she wanted to draw back so she could see him, but he clutched her tighter, refusing to let her move.
His words washed over her, stole her breath and birthed a thousand questions that clamoured in her mind.
“You’re my fated one, and if you stay, I’ll want to claim you as my mate.”
Chapter 15
In the rankings of toughest conversations, the one Rath was about to have with Ivy was going to hit the top spot.
She pulled away from him and stared at him, her hazel eyes enormous and unblinking.
Maybe he should have waited to break it to her after she had become more accustomed to the knowledge of what he was, but with the gathering drawing closer, and the chances of unmated males arriving at Cougar Creek in the next twenty-four hours high, he couldn’t wait.
She had to know now what she was getting into, because then she would understand why he had to make her leave.
At least for a few weeks, until the gathering was over.
She could come back then, when it was safe for her and her presence wouldn’t make him want to fight every eligible male in the area, his brothers included.
Gods, he hoped she understood.
And he hoped she would come back to him.
“What does that mean?” she whispered.
He sat up, grimaced as his shoulder pulled tight and stung, sending fire sweeping down his side and his arm, and tried to figure out where to start.
“All shifter species, we have fated mates. They’re special, rare… a person made for them.” It was a poor start judging by the way she frowned at him.
“Like a soul mate?” The confused crinkle to her brow was adorable, made him want to sweep her up into his arms and kiss her.
Rath held himself back, forced himself to remain where he was and give her space, because he could see that she needed it. Everything that had happened today had come as a shock to her, and she was still processing it, and now he was adding to her burden, giving her even more to take in and wrap her head around.
“Sort of.” His parents had been fated, and gods, he wished they had sat him down and told him how to explain to someone what it was to be fated. The two of them had been cougars though, so he doubted anything they could have offered would have helped him in his case. He sighed and tried to think of a better way of putting it. “Cougars and other shifters can mate with someone of their own choosing, like a marriage. We can fall in love with anyone our heart chooses too.”
Like he had fallen in love with her.
“But there’s a difference when you’re fated?” She straightened and her eyes grew brighter, and he could see she was already piecing things together in her mind, coming to understand his species and the role of a fated mate.
He nodded. “While we can mate with anyone, can marry whoever we like as it were, the bond we share with that person isn’t as powerful as it would be with our one true mate.”
She dropped her eyes to her knees and frowned. “I can see why you would view it as special.”
“Like a soul mate,” he offered, latching onto a familiar concept for her. “You can fall in love with anyone, but what you feel when you find your soul mate… it makes that love pale in comparison.”
“Was…” The way she trailed off had him aching to cup her cheek and make her look at him.
“No. It was arranged by our parents, a good match. We came to love each other in a way, but… what I felt for her, it’s nothing compared to what I feel for you.” He had to push those final few words out, forcing himself to lay it all out there because he needed her to know everything before she made her decision.
And he hoped it would bring her back to him.
“Because we’re fated?” She glanced up into his eyes and then away again.
“No, Ivy.” He did touch her now, placed his palm to her left cheek, wanting to growl as he recalled what had happened to her and saw the side of her face bloodied again. It was clean now, revealing a cut that dashed across her cheekbone and one that darted above her temple. He smoothed his thumb across them both, his
touch light, filled with his need to comfort her, to take care of her. “In part, what I feel for you stems from the fact you’re my true mate, but only in part. This feeling inside me… it would have been there even if you weren’t my fated one.”
She looked relieved to hear that, her eyes leaping to his, soft with a hint of affection that he could feel in her. “So what I feel… it’s real?”
Gods, that hit him hard.
Was she saying she loved him too?
He swallowed to wet his suddenly parched throat and nodded. “I know it’s a lot to take in, and I’m not expecting you to understand it all right now, or give me an answer, but I needed you to know before you…”
His cougar side snarled, bashed against the cage of his human form and had fur rippling over his skin, tearing a gasp from Ivy as her eyes darted down to his bare chest.
He couldn’t bring himself to say it.
He didn’t want her to leave.
“Before I what, Rath?” The way she said that, all softness and light, gently coaxing him into telling her, tore at him.
She wasn’t going to understand. He would lose her if he sent her away. She would never come back. He would never see her again. It would kill him.
Those thoughts rattled through his mind at a million miles per hour, repeated over and over again as he struggled against his instincts, the fierce need to make her stay whatever the cost.
She could stay if they mated.
He just had to convince her to go through with it.
His canines lengthened in response to that, cock going painfully tight in readiness as images of sinking his fangs into the nape of her neck and claiming her rushed across his eyes, goading him into doing it.
“I don’t want…” he bit out and snarled as he wrestled with himself, battled the instincts that screamed at him to claim her now before she slipped his grasp, and managed to subdue them. “You have to go.”
She paused halfway through reaching for him, and her hand shook in the air between them, her hurt going through him.
Fuck, he had meant to do this more gently, in a way that wouldn’t wound her, but his words had come out clipped and harsh, brutal.
“Other males are coming.” His face crumpled as he looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes, agony that told him she didn’t understand.
“But you want me to stay,” she said, shaking her head. “You told me you want me to stay.”
“I do.” He moved onto his knees and grasped her shoulders in both hands, the thought of her leaving ripping him to shreds. “Gods, I do, Ivy… but the males are coming for a gathering, to tend to the females who are needing, and if you’re here…”
He lowered his head, clung to her shoulders and trembled as the need to fight for her rose to the fore, pushed him to do it now, his instincts singling out the one eligible male in the vicinity.
Storm.
He gritted his teeth. Storm wasn’t a threat to him, or a rival. He was his brother. His own flesh and blood, and he knew what Ivy was to him.
He had no reason to fight him.
“If you’re around those males… if you’re here with me… I’m going to end up fighting them,” he gritted and rather than being horrified, she simply placed her hands over his wrists, smoothed them up to his hands and took hold of them.
“Because I’m your fated mate?” She didn’t sound sure.
He nodded. “Because I’ll view them as a threat as long as we’re not mated… not bound.”
“Not married.” Her voice held a slight quiver. “But if we were married…”
He shook his head. “You need time, and there isn’t time before the gathering.”
“So you’re making this decision for me?” The snap in her tone told him how happy she was about that, and he reminded himself that he was dealing with a human now, a strong and independent female, not a cougar who had been born and raised within his world, one who would have obeyed his authority as a male. “You just get to decide what’s best for me?”
He was going to lose her.
“No.” He locked gazes with her again. “It’s what’s best for both of us. It will only be a few weeks. You can go looking for spirit bears.”
She scowled at him, but then her beautiful face softened and she rubbed his hands. “Come with me.”
Gods, that was tempting, had him thinking about packing a bag right that minute and not looking back.
“I can’t,” he croaked and growled as agony rolled through him, and fur rippled over his skin again. “I want to… I do… but my bloodline has a duty during the gathering. After Archangel attacked and we drove them back, defeated them, we vowed to protect the pride.”
Her shoulders slumped beneath his hands.
“Ivy… I don’t want to do this.” He palmed her arms, silently begged her to look at him again as she lowered her eyes and closed up, leaving him cold.
“So don’t do it.”
Fuck, if only it was that simple. He had to do something, and it was tearing him apart but the path he had chosen was the right one, the only one that satisfied his deep need to keep her safe, to protect her from anything, including himself.
Forcing a bond upon her just so she could stay during the gathering wasn’t something he could do.
“It will only be a few weeks, and it’ll be good for you, will let you think everything over.” His words sounded hollow in his ears, held a fragment of the pain beating in his heart, and he hated them, despised himself for what he was doing even when he knew it was necessary. “As soon as the gathering is over, I’ll let you know, and you can come back.”
She smiled tightly.
Pushed to her feet.
Left him cold as she said, “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I need space.”
“Ivy.” He reached for her, but she backed off a step.
When the cabin door opened, she made a break for it, pushing past his brother.
Storm watched her go, one sandy eyebrow hiking up, and then sighed as he looked down at Rath and said the words that were already going through his mind.
“You really fucked up this time.”
Chapter 16
Rath watched Ivy from the deck of his cabin, tracking her as she moved along the bank of the river, keeping away from the cabin where Ember lounged on the deck and away from Storm as he worked on another of the cabins closer to Rath’s one, on the right of the clearing. She glanced at the grass from time to time, eyes drawn to the torn up earth where the fight had taken place.
The helicopter had been removed yesterday, broken down into parts and flown away by a bear shifter who had owed him a favour.
Storm had dealt with the bodies while Rath had been out, recovering from his makeshift surgery, and his brother had been guarding Gabriella ever since, keeping watch over their captive in his own cabin.
Rath could only hope for her sake that she wasn’t involved in Archangel. Ivy had vouched for her apparently, but Storm wasn’t convinced that they could trust the female, and neither was Rath.
Had Archangel sent her and her brother after them?
Many of the reports he’d heard about the hunter organisation in the last few decades had pointed towards them becoming more benevolent, targeting only non-humans that were a threat to humankind.
But then, there were the reports of attacks on shifter communities, ones that eventually trickled through the grapevine between species to reach him. Those reports had been coming more frequently recently, and he had the sinking feeling Archangel were going back to viewing all non-humans as a threat that needed eradicating.
Which meant they were a threat that needed eradicating.
He wouldn’t let them harm his kin, or any of the other shifter species who called his part of Canada home.
Gods, he hoped that Alexander had been acting alone, out of a need for revenge, not under orders from Archangel. Even if that was the case, everyone at the creek was going to be jumpy for a while, convinced Alexander had revealed their
location to Archangel and the hunter organisation would come looking for them.
The thought of his kin coming under attack again sickened Rath, had him afraid for Ivy, and for his brothers.
He needed to question Gabriella, but taking care of things with Ivy came first.
He sighed, a long slow one that fogged in the early morning air, and tried to ignore the persistent twitch of his instincts that said a male would arrive soon. He had delayed Ivy’s departure for his own selfish purpose, unable to let her go while she was mad at him, liable to never return.
Storm strode out of the woods to his right, looked his way and shook his head as he slung a belt of tools over his shoulder, and kept walking, heading towards his own cabin deep in the woods to Rath’s left.
He didn’t need his brother constantly reminding him that he had messed things up.
Ivy was doing that enough already.
It had been two days since he had told her that she had to leave. Two days of her giving him the cold shoulder, keeping her distance from sunrise to sunset. Two days of sheer torture.
She had barely spoken a word to him, other than the occasional reminder that she needed her space.
The only thing keeping him sane was the fact she hadn’t left yet, had slept each night in his arms, had even kissed him once or twice when she had thought he was sleeping.
Sleeping?
He chuckled mirthlessly at that. As if he could sleep when he knew she would be gone soon. He had spent every minute, every second of the night, awake and aware of her, watching her as she slept, absorbing every moment with her and letting none slip past him in case they were his last hours with her and all he would have to see him through the long, lonely centuries ahead of him.
He was a wreck now, close to sixty hours without sleep taking its toll on him together with the wound in his right shoulder that was still tender, was healing but hurt if he moved it too much.
Ivy’s shoulders shifted beneath the dark blue fleece he had lent her as she stared down at her camera, and he could feel her hurt, and how desperately she wanted the bears to appear. She wanted them to distract her from her sombre thoughts, ones that were causing her pain.
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