by K. A. Linde
I yanked open the conference room door and headed for the elevator. My hands were shaking, and I clasped them together to make them stop. My heart was hammering in my chest. It was a reminder of what I was running away from. That stupid smirk and confident air. The way he seemed to own the room. I’d always found Lewis handsome. He and Penn were two sides of the same coin. They both took up too much space, and worse, they knew it. I would not be caught in that web again.
Fool me once, shame on you. I’d been eighteen and in Paris and fallen instantly for Penn. I’d given him my virginity, and he’d repaid it by ghosting on me. Granted…it was because his father had died. Though I’d only learned it years later.
Fool me twice, shame on me. The bet. Penn, Lewis, Katherine, Rowe, and Lark had bet on me. And I’d fallen in love with Penn and made an utter fool of myself anyway.
Fool me thrice—well, I didn’t even know who I could blame for that. So, I was getting as far away from the Upper East Side and all the many charming men in it.
“Wait!” Lewis slid his hand in the elevator before it could close, and then he walked smoothly inside.
I pressed my body against the opposite wall. “Leave me alone, Lewis.”
“Go to lunch with me.”
“Go to hell,” I quipped.
“I guess I deserve that.”
I glared. “Deserve? That’s the least of what you deserve.”
“That’s probably fair.”
I crossed my arms and remained silent. I didn’t have to talk to him. I didn’t have to listen to him. Their antics had ruined my life as I knew it. And sure, I had bounced back onto my feet. But it didn’t excuse what they’d done or how callous they had been about it all.
The elevator chimed, and I pushed past Lewis onto the main floor of Warren Publishing. Its grandeur was still mesmerizing, but all I saw was him now. I should have taken another offer. Who cared that Warren had fought the hardest and won the auction? I could have taken the deal from Hartfield or Strider or any number of other publishers that had bid on my book.
I could feel Lewis’s presence behind me as I exited the building and said good-bye to Warren Publishing.
“Stop following me,” I hissed.
“I will. Just hear me out.”
“I’m under no obligation to do that,” I snapped.
“You always did have a hot temper.”
I stopped suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. He continued moving for a pace before he realized that I’d halted.
“Natalie…”
“You and your friends ruined my life. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you. I have no interest in whatever lies you’re going to spin,” I told him with fire in my eyes. “If you thought this would go differently and that I’d fall all over myself at your feet, you are sadly mistaken. I’m not like the simpering idiots you have on the Upper East Side. I don’t care how much money you have. I don’t care what your last name is. So, leave me alone.”
“I’m sorry,” Lewis said. His eyes were wide and revealing. A window to his sincerity, and I hated it.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it.”
I yanked out my phone to check my messages. I was supposed to meet Amy for lunch, but then I saw I had a text from her.
Ran into Enzo while I was shopping. You remember him from Paris, right? His work has gone off the charts. He even has something in the MET. We’re going to get lunch. Don’t wait up. ;)
I sighed heavily at the text message. Great. There went my escape plan.
“You’re right,” Lewis said. “Sorry doesn’t cut it. But I still would like to apologize. I know I was acting arrogant and condescending in there, but I didn’t know how you’d react to me being there, and it was a defense mechanism.”
“Why would you need a defense mechanism? You’re the one who did this to me.”
“I know. It was stupid and childish and wrong on so many levels. I begged Penn to tell you. I threatened him beyond words to do it, or I would. And I should have. I see now that I should have done it. Should have stopped it all.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure, Lewis. Why don’t you save your breath for someone who might believe this?”
He straightened. “You think I enjoy throwing myself at your mercy? Knowing that you can hold a grudge for six years that runs as hot as a California forest fire? I don’t enjoy your enmity, Natalie. I deserve it. We all do. But it does nothing to diminish how much I wish I could change it.”
I stared at him in surprise. He was…serious.
He was actually…groveling before me outside of a building he owned. A year later, and he still wanted to make things right. A small part of me got satisfaction in his suffering. It was nothing compared to what I’d gone through. But the Upper East Side never had repercussions to their actions, and his pain was at least one consequence.
“What do you want from me?” I asked cautiously.
“Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I thought, if I bought you lunch, it would be a good start.”
“Start for what?”
“Apologizing for what you went through.”
I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust any of them. But one lunch might not kill me.
“Fine. But we’re getting pizza. It’s the only thing I miss from this godforsaken city.”
He smiled at me as if he knew how much of that was a lie.
Natalie
3
Lewis insisted on paying. So, I found the cheapest pizza place and strolled inside. He looked dismayed.
“Are you sure you want to eat here?” he asked.
“What do you have against pizza?”
“Nothing. But I know a better place.”
“I’m sure you do, but we’re not going to the Upper East Side. We’re not going anywhere near where your friends could see you. And I’m not letting you buy me a ridiculously priced pizza when this place is right here.”
He sighed heavily. “Fine. But don’t act like you don’t like expensive pizza. That place in East Hampton wasn’t cheap.”
I winced at the memory. All the times Penn and I had ordered in pizza from that little place in East Hampton. How we’d eaten it cold for breakfast, clustered around the refrigerator in his parents’ Hamptons mansion, and taken notes on our respective writing projects. I still couldn’t distinguish if that was the best pizza I’d ever had because of where it was from or who I ate it with.
“Whatever,” I muttered.
Lewis ordered us a pepperoni and sausage pizza and handed me the Styrofoam fountain drink. I giggled at his discomfort and poured myself a Coke. I sat at one of the rickety chairs. Then, my eyes slid to Lewis at the soda machine.
We both looked incredibly out of place. He was in a thousand-dollar business suit, and I was dressed to impress in an outfit Amy had insisted on. A pair of Amy’s Louboutins and a sleek dress and jacket combo that I never would have purchased for myself. Sleek wasn’t typically how I described myself. More like bohemian with oversize, flowy dresses and sandals. My silvery hair long and unmanageable or in a high, messy bun on top of my head. Not stick straight to my waist like Amy had insisted on this morning. Or the makeup she’d carefully applied to my face like I was a doll.
Lewis sank into a chair across from me without complaint. Though I knew he would have preferred somewhere fancier. Lewis, unlike Penn, was a hundred percent Upper East Side. He had none of Penn’s qualms about living this life. He’d been born and raised into more money than God. I knew he enjoyed it.
“So,” he began.
“Yep.” I took a long sip of my drink.
“I’m amazed you gave in.”
“I didn’t give in. I’m merely humoring you until Amy finishes screwing her latest artist.”
He chuckled. “She found someone already?”
“You’d be amazed at how easy it is for Amy to find someone to fuck.” I shrugged. “Or maybe you wouldn’t.”
“I’m hardly Amy’s
type.”
“No, I do remember you being shocked because she was the only woman who had ever rebuffed you for your money.” I waved my hand around. “Oh, look, happened again.”
He pointed his finger at me. “You’re a different case. The money makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t make Amy uncomfortable. She just doesn’t want to date someone like her parents.”
I was surprised at how well he’d read us both in that moment. Amy had been raised in money, and she defied it all by dating artistic losers. I’d been raised poor, and no matter how much I spent time around wealthy people, it wasn’t me. Not to mention that I had no interest in living that Upper East Side life. Not then, when Penn had begged me to come back…and not now.
“Maybe,” I conceded. “And here I thought, you didn’t even like to talk about money. Isn’t that right? People with money don’t think about it. It just…is.”
“Well, aren’t you one of us now?”
I tightened my grip on my cup. “I am not one of you.”
“I mean that this book is paying you handsomely.”
“You and I both know that doesn’t make me like you. You have to be born into your part of society. And you generally need billions…or the right name.”
“That’s right,” he acknowledged. “A name sometimes can mean more than the money.”
I shrugged and leaned backward. That wasn’t my world. Character should mean more than name or money. But not for them. Not for someone like Katherine Van Pelt. Katherine, who had precipitated my downfall, all to try to get to Penn. All because her name meant something, yet she was penniless. She’d entered into an arranged marriage with Camden Percy, the most despicable person I’d ever met, and thought Penn was her way out. It was all so backward. If I didn’t hate her so much, I’d almost feel bad for her. Almost.
The pizza arrived then—thin crust, covered in toppings, and steaming. I took the time to eat and collect my thoughts. So far, this lunch hadn’t been that horrible. It could have been worse at least.
“So, Bet on It, huh?” Lewis asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yep.”
“Are you ready for it to come out tomorrow?”
“Honestly?” I asked. “I’m really nervous.”
“You? But why? It’s gold.”
“Oh, don’t flatter me.”
I took another bite of pizza, so I didn’t have to look into those big brown eyes. I’d long wondered if Lewis had had something to do with the fact that I’d gotten the deal with Warren Publishing. Even though Hartfield had offered first and the entire thing had gone to auction with thirteen publishers, Warren had still won. It made me wonder. But I knew that I couldn’t ask him. I didn’t want to know. Not right before release day. I’d always wanted to believe I’d won this on my own merit despite years of rejection saying otherwise. I wasn’t sure my fragile heart could handle it if it was the other way around.
“I’m not flattering you, Natalie. I’ve read the book. It’s outstanding. Your prose is so sharp, so biting. The story…well, we both know how much of it is based on a true story. But it’s the way you weave it together and bring fact with fiction that really shines. It’s the in-between moments that make you pause and really think. I was captivated from page one until the very end. And not just because I’m a character in this story.”
My jaw fell open at his words. He’d actually read the book. I couldn’t believe it. I had known that Lewis enjoyed reading, but I hadn’t thought he’d pick mine up for anything more than morbid curiosity.
“Well, thank you.” A blush graced my cheeks. “I didn’t think you’d read it. I’m a little amazed anyone has read it.”
“You’ve had glowing reviews in all the major journals. Of course people are going to read it. And I’m glad they are. Clearly, you knew it was a story worth telling.”
“I started it when I was in the Hamptons,” I confessed. Though I had no idea why.
He ran his thumb across his bottom lip and leaned back. “That makes sense.”
“You’re not going to tell anyone else, are you?”
“You mean, Penn?”
I winced at the abrupt use of his name and all the pain that accompanied it. Yes, of course, I meant Penn. But truly, everyone. This was the real reason I’d chosen a pen name. I needed to fly under their radar.
He must have seen it in my expression because he sighed. “What would you like to be a secret? That you wrote the book? Or that it’s about the crew? Or that you’re here and I saw you and we had lunch?”
I nodded. “All of it.”
“Your secret is safe with me. I will not divulge that you are the great Olivia Davies.” He furrowed his brow. “Not even to Penn.”
“Thank you.”
“But…”
“Oh god,” I muttered.
He grinned devilishly at me. “I would like to see you again.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
The more time I spent with Lewis, the greater chance that someone else in his circle was going to find out. Even if he kept his promise that he wouldn’t tell anyone. Which seemed doubtful to me.
“I think it’s a marvelous idea. You’re only here a couple of days. I’m sure your schedule is packed. I could fit into it rather seamlessly.”
“You don’t seem to be giving me much choice.”
“There’s always a choice. I want you to make the right one.”
“Rather ominous,” I chided.
He laughed and reached across the table, snagging my hand in his. “Why can’t I want to spend time with you?”
“You can.” I slipped my fingers out from his. “Maybe I don’t want to spend time with you.”
“No lies between us anymore. You’re enjoying yourself. We’ve always had fun together. Why don’t we continue? I could take you to dinner tonight.”
I shook my head. “I’m going with the publisher.”
He arched an eyebrow, as if to say, I am the publisher. “No one would object to me tagging along.”
“I would.”
“What about your release day party tomorrow? I could escort you. Amy could even come with. Bring her strapping new artist along.”
“Why are you pushing this?” I asked suspiciously. “I said no.”
“You haven’t actually.”
“I just did then.”
He sighed and nodded. “All right. But I want you to know that I missed you this last year. You weren’t the only one who was upset by what happened. You’re a breath of fresh air, and losing your presence was a blow. You can’t fault me for wanting to have you back in my life.”
Despite myself, I was moved by what he’d said. I hadn’t thought anyone in their circle had feelings. Or that they would miss me. I had believed that it was all a game. One they had played many times before and would continue to play for all eternity. I was a pawn, and they had moved the pieces how they saw fit. No matter who got hurt.
But Lewis hadn’t made it seem like that. He’d made it seem like real lives were involved and real feelings were injured. Not just my own.
I blinked down at my cup and tried to banish these unwanted feelings. I didn’t want to feel bad for Lewis Warren. How could you feel bad for someone who had everything?
Because…he hadn’t actually placed the bet. Yes, he’d been there that day. But it had been between Katherine and Penn. And the wager had been in their favor. Lewis hadn’t been an unwilling participant, but he hadn’t really had a stake in the matter in the same way. And we had become friends.
No.
We hadn’t been friends. Christ. A few minutes in his presence, and already, he was twisting my thoughts. Bringing down barriers I’d put up for my own security. Lewis was an Upper East Side prick. He’d known about the bet. He’d done nothing. He deserved nothing from me.
“Is that all?” I finally asked.
He sighed and nodded.
“Good. Then, I need to get back.”
I stood, and he followed suit.
He cleared the table for us and then we walked out into the November chill.
“I don’t want to blindside you again. I will be at your party whether I escort you or not,” Lewis let me know.
“Okay.”
I could probably avoid him at the party. There were going to be enough people. Hopefully.
We stood on the sidewalk, watching the madness of New York City zip by before us. Then, he turned and held out his hand. I stared down at it in surprise. A handshake. Huh.
I removed my hand from my coat pocket and shook.
“It’s been a pleasure, Natalie. I’m glad that you’ve found success.”
“Thank you.”
“If you change your mind about…anything, you have my number.”
It seemed doubtful, but I nodded anyway. “Thank you for lunch.”
He smiled brightly. “Anytime. Now, I suppose, I should get back to work as well.”
“Good idea.”
He hailed a cab, which pulled up right away in front of us. He opened the back door and then held it for me. “You first.”
“Oh, thank you.”
I slid into the backseat of the cab, and he closed the door behind me. A sad smile graced his features, as if this whole encounter hadn’t gone as planned. And for a second, it was like I could see how much he had planned all of this. He’d been excited to see me. He’d been expecting anger but thought that he could break through it. He’d been wrong.
The car pulled away from the sidewalk, and I leaned back in confusion. Lewis wasn’t what I’d been expecting either.
Natalie
4
“Natalie!” Amy yelled as she entered the hotel room that Warren had put us up in.
“In here,” I called back.
My fingers were flying across my keyboard. They were hardly keeping up with my brain, which was spitting ideas at me faster than I’d seen in a year. Everything was coming together. The entire year of a dry spell had ended.