With You (A Novella)

by J. M. Walker

  Her cheeks were rosy, and her eyes held a glint of passion in them.

  “Like you just had an orgasm.”

  Her smile grew. “I can take care—”

  A knock sounded on the door. “I hate to interrupt but I need some help out here.”

  “On that note.” I gave my wife one final kiss before leaving the bathroom and actually doing what I was supposed to be doing before she distracted me.

  Meadow stood off to the side, talking to Zillah while I listened to a customer tell me the issues they were having with their vehicle. Something to do with the engine. Maybe? Or maybe it was the brakes. I couldn’t be sure because in all honesty, I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too focused on the taste of my wife lingering on my tongue.

  I heard myself tell the customer I would take care of it and went to work. Even though I wasn’t overly sure what the work was exactly.

  “Shade.”

  I jumped, almost hitting my head on the roof of the hood.

  Zillah laughed. “Distracted much?”

  “Never.” I pulled the rag from my back pocket and wiped my hands. “What’s up?” I asked, noticing that Meadow was no longer around.

  “Meadow told me to tell you that she would meet you at home. I was also thinking of closing the shop tomorrow. Tray and I wanted to drive out and see Bee, Tanner, and the kids.” She paused. “Did you want to man the shop by yourself or take tomorrow off as well?”

  “Actually. I wanted to talk to you about something.” Getting the following day off, would work perfectly for my plan.

  Shade

  When I pulled up in front of my in-laws’ place, I killed the engine and took off my helmet. As I slid off the bike and put the helmet away, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure why but something was holding me back. It told me to just stop and breathe for a moment. Maybe that was what Meadow and I needed. To just breathe. We had a son together. If we ever had more children, they would technically be mine. Even though Sunny was no longer in the picture, it wouldn’t feel right to tell Andrew that he had two fathers while our future children only had one. It never even came up in discussion. A part of me wondered why. Or maybe Meadow and I were so in tune with each other, that we didn’t need to talk about it and it would just happen naturally.

  “Shade?”

  I spun around, finding Meadow’s parents standing out on the deck of their front porch.

  “Everything okay?” Jay, Meadow’s mom, asked.

  I cleared my throat, shoved my hands in my pockets, and headed up the path toward them. “Yes, sorry. I was daydreaming.”

  Jay smiled. “That’s okay.”

  When I reached them, she pulled me into a hug while Angel clapped my shoulder.

  I lucked out in the in-laws department. I had heard so many horror stories that I was reluctant to become close with them. But after having a few beers with Meadow’s father, we quickly became friends. I couldn’t complain in the least with how he and his wife welcomed me into their family.

  “Did you want a beer?” Angel asked.

  “Sure. Please.”

  “I’ll go get them.” Jay headed into the house before either of us could tell her otherwise.

  “What’s going on? Is Meadow okay? Something wrong with Andrew?”

  “Nothing really and yes, she’s fine. They’re both fine. Perfect actually.” I sat on the bench, running my hands down my thighs, not liking how sweaty they had all of a sudden become.

  “What is it then?” Angel leaned against the railing, crossing his arms under his broad chest.

  “Sunny’s...uh...” My throat closed. “His anniversary...”

  “Ah.” Angel rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. We remembered.”

  “Listen, I know this is a lot to ask but Meadow said that she mentioned to you both about watching Andrew this weekend.”

  “Yes, she did,” Angel said as Jay came back out with two beers. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I was just wondering if you would be willing to take him longer than what she asked for.” I waited, expecting them to say no.

  “Of course!” Jay stood beside her husband. “I love having our grandson. Maybe I can convince Gigi and Vince to let us have Hannah for the weekend too. Since I can’t have anymore babies of my own, it’ll be nice having a houseful of kids again.” She passed a glance at Angel.

  He rolled his eyes. “Woman, I’ll give you another baby. Hell, I’ve offered. Several times in fact. But both of us agreed that we don’t want to be in our eighties when the kid’s five.”

  I chuckled.

  “We wouldn’t be in our eighties when they’re five.” Jay placed her hands on her hips. “I am not that old.” She turned to me. “Yes, we’ll take him for however long you need. Just let me kick my husband’s ass first.”

  My laugh deepened.

  Angel only grinned.

  While they continued their banter, I got sucked into thoughts of Meadow and I. We had nowhere near the experience her parents had but I knew it was what I strived for. There was quite an age difference between us, but it had never mattered. Not in the beginning. Not now. And it probably never would. Meadow liked older guys. Thankfully, both Sunny and I had fit that role.

  My phone buzzed with an incoming text.

  An image came through of Meadow’s tits. Her hand cupped one, her fingers pinching her nipple.

  My cock twitched.

  Me: You can’t send me shit like that, baby.

  Meadow: Aww. Why not? You don’t like what you see?

  Me: I always like what I see. More than I could ever tell you.

  Meadow: Good. Come home. Now. I need my husband.

  I smirked, said a quick goodbye to Angel and Jay, and thanked them for the beer I didn’t drink.

  Doing as I was told, I headed home to my wife but made sure to take the long way.

  Meadow

  “God.” I sighed, trying to ease my racing heart. “I swear sex with you only gets better and better.”

  Shade chuckled, sat up, and patted his shoulder.

  I laughed, rolling onto my side.

  He looked down at me then. “You good, babe?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” I sat up, moved beside him, and kissed his shoulder. “You?”

  “I feel like we have this conversation every year around this time,” he mumbled, letting out a harsh sigh.

  My chest tightened, my throat working over a hard lump. “I know. Me too. Maybe we need counseling or something.”

  Shade scowled, pushing from the bed. In all his naked glory, I couldn’t help but watch the way the muscles of his ass flexed every time he moved.

  “Stop staring, Little Lamb,” he grumbled, heading to the bathroom. The sound of the shower starting, pulled a sob from me.

  “Fuck.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I let out slow breaths, but it didn’t ease the anxiety rushing through me. Agony sat on my body like an added weight. It was suffocating the way it took hold and made it so I couldn’t breathe.

  “Meadow.”

  I jumped.

  Shade was standing by the bed, his eyes dark.

  Rising to my knees, I shuffled toward him.

  He reached for me, pulling me into his arms and letting out a shuddered breath. “I know, baby. I know.”

  “I just miss him,” I cried. “I miss him so much.”

  “I miss him too,” Shade said, pushing his face into the crook of my neck. His body wracked with silent cries.

  My heart shattered. For him. For us. For the love we had with Sunny and for the pain of losing him far too soon.

  “I love you,” I whispered, not wanting Shade to think any differently.

  “I love you too.” He cupped my face, placing a soft peck on my lips. “Never doubt that.”

  “Don’t you doubt it either,” I reminded him.

  “Why would you think that?” he asked, staring at me.

  “Why would you think it, Shade? For the exact same reason.”

  He pushed away
from me, the air around me suddenly becoming cold.

  “Don’t.” I jumped from the bed and went up to him before he could close himself off from me. “We’re both hurting but I know you’re hurting more. You knew him longer than I did but I want you to let me in, so I can help you heal.”

  “I don’t need help.”

  When he went to walk away from me, I stepped in front of him. “Don’t do this.”

  “I’m not doing anything, Meadow,” he bit out. He went to push past me and that time, I let him. I didn’t want to fight with him. Not anymore. We did the same dance every time the anniversary of Sunny’s death came around. Whenever the actual day came, we barely spoke to each other. It needed to change. I knew that. It wasn’t healthy to fall into ourselves. We should mourn as a couple, but Shade was so damn stubborn, I didn’t know how to get through to him without having it end up in a fight.

  Maybe that was what we needed. Maybe we needed to fight. To yell. To scream. To fucking break. And then we could help each other put the pieces back together again.

  As much as I wanted to demand more from my husband tonight, I would wait. I didn’t want to do it when Andrew was home. We didn’t need any interruptions. I also needed for Shade and I to focus solely on each other. It may have been selfish of us, but we couldn’t give our son what he needed if we couldn’t help ourselves either.

  While Shade took a shower, I laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I was vaguely aware of the water turning off a moment later, only for the bed to dip beside me shortly after.

  The scent of body wash wafted into my nose. It smelled of spice, a bonfire, and a tinge of a forest. Mixed with Shade’s natural scent, it was delicious.

  “I’m sorry for fighting, baby,” he whispered, laying down beside me and wrapping his arm around me.

  I looked at him then. “You think that was fighting, Shade? You haven’t seen anything yet.” I rolled onto my side, away from him but not before I caught the dark look of lust in his eyes. I smirked to myself, mentally patting my own back.

  “You threatening me, little girl?” he asked, pulling me closer to his hard body.

  “Nope.” I grabbed his hand, pushing his arm off of me. “I’m promising.”

  Much to my surprise, a chuckle left him.

  “Good to know, Meadow.”

  I sat up, staring down at him. “You think this is funny?”

  He sat up, mirroring my pose. In a quick move, he pinched my jaw. “No, I don’t think it’s fucking funny. I don’t like fighting with you, but I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know what to do to fix us. But I’m willing to do whatever it is you want. I promised you on our wedding day that it’s you and me against the world. Do you remember our vows? Not the standard ones we said at the ceremony but the ones we said in private.”

  My eyes welled. “Of course,” I whispered.

  “Tell me,” he demanded.

  A shiver raced down my spine. Shade wasn’t always dominant, that was Sunny, but ever since he died, it was like Shade felt he had to take over that role. Like he had to dominate me because it was how Sunny had been with me. But he didn’t have to. I tried telling him that, but I could never figure out how to voice it. Which was saying something, since I never usually had issues voicing my thoughts.

  “I promise to love and cherish you. To talk to you about my feelings and make sure that we put communication first.” I shoved my head out of his grip. “You haven’t kept your vows either, my dear husband.”

  In a quick move, Shade pushed me onto my back and straddled my hips. He pinned me down, staring deep into my eyes. “We need to talk.”

  “No shit,” I threw back at him.

  His nostrils flared, his gaze dropping to my mouth.

  I licked along my bottom lip. “I like when you hold me down.”

  “Fuck.” He took a deep breath, his body shaking. His fingers dug into my shoulders, holding me in place as he thought about his next words. “We’re going away this weekend,” he said, his eyes meeting mine. “I was going to surprise you.”

  “Where are we going?” I asked, trying not to notice how very naked he was. How his muscles bunched over his bones. Or how his cock was semi-erect, hinting for everything that I was willing to give it and more. To put it mildly, my husband was fucking hot.

  “You’ll see when we get there but your parents agreed to watch Andrew an extra day. We’re going for a few days longer than usual. I need you. I need us.” He released my shoulders and rose to his knees before kneeling between my legs.

  My body flushed, heating with desire for the very man who had invaded my life so many years ago.

  His eyes roamed down the length of me. He brushed the back of his hand over my C-Section scar. “The things you’ve done. The life you created.”

  “That we created,” I corrected.

  His eyes snapped to mine. “Do you still not wanna know?”

  My chest tightened, knowing exactly what he was referring to. “No. Not yet anyway. Andrew is both yours and Sunny’s. Our future children will be both of yours as well. The kids will grow to learn how amazing he was. What kind of man...his love for us...” My throat worked over a sudden lump.

  “You thought I was overbearing when you were pregnant.” Shade chuckled. “I think he would have been worse,” he said, his voice thick.

  “I know. Both of you would have driven me insane.” Shade hadn’t been too bad. Not as bad as I expected anyway.

  “Yeah, maybe.” He sat back on his ankles, running his hands up and down my thighs. “I’m sorry for fighting. I really am. I also know that we need to talk about it. But...”

  “It’s rough,” I finished for him.

  He nodded.

  “We haven’t talked at all and it’s been years, Shade.”

  “I know.” A shuddered breath left him.

  “Tell me something about him, you’ve never told me.” I knew we should have probably gone to bed, but I had Shade’s attention. He spent every chance he could, telling me about Sunny and their time before me, but it wasn’t enough. I was greedy for the information about the other man we both loved.

  “Well...it’s part of your surprise but I’m taking you to Toledo, Ohio this weekend. We went on a ride years ago and hit up this pizza place. Sunny fell in love. We all did actually. Best pizza ever. Even better than the one you introduced us to after we first slept together.”

  “Ohio?” I moved to a sitting position. “I’ve never been to Toledo.”

  “Are you okay with going there this weekend? I want to take you to this pizza joint.”

  I threw myself around him, kissing his face. “Yes, baby. Yes, I want to go. I’m fine with going. Thank you.”

  Shade chuckled, laying me back on the bed. “There’s a club I want to hit up too. It’s not in Toledo. We’ll stop there on the way home.”

  “Oh?” I brushed my fingers through the graying scruff on his strong jaw. “What kind of club?”

  “The kind that you’ve been bugging me to go to for years,” he said, kissing my nose.

  “A BDSM club?” I gasped, my body heating at the many ideas suddenly bouncing around in my head, at the mere thought of going to a fetish club with my husband.

  He smirked. “Yes, baby.”

  “God, I can’t wait to play with you,” I said, waggling my eyebrows. A thought came to me. “Did you and Sunny ever go to it?”

  “We did. He was teaching me, but I’ve never been as dominant as him. Even with you now, where it’s just us, I try to dominate you but a part of me would rather you do it.”

  My stomach tumbled over his honesty. We hadn’t talked about it much, but I knew that Shade was trying to take Sunny’s place in a way when it came to our sex life. “Shade, you do not have to dominate me. At all. We can have a vanilla sex life too if that’s what you prefer.”

  “Vanilla?” A laugh boomed through him.

  “What?” I smacked his shoulder. “I can be vanilla.”

  “Babe, you’re
dirty as fuck. There’s not a vanilla bone in your body.”

  “Well...” I scowled. “Whatever. You like when I dominate your sexy ass anyway.”

  Shade gave me that delicious smirk of his before lowering his mouth to my throat. He snarled against me.

  I laughed at the ticklish feeling.

  He slid off of me and laid down beside me, pulling me into his arms.

  I pulled the blankets up and over us, snuggled up to him, and went to sleep, thinking of all the ways I could get my husband to submit to me.

  Shade

  The anniversary of Sunny’s death was coming up rather quickly and Meadow and I were heading to Toledo, Ohio tonight. I hoped that this weekend would help us reconnect and find each other again.

  After everything we had been through, you would think it would come easy for us but with Sunny dying, it made us close right up. We could talk about our son and other things, but when it came to our feelings for Sunny and how his death hurt us, it was like the words wouldn’t come out. No matter how hard we tried.

  “You have plans for this weekend besides just visiting the city? Any sightseeing in the books?” Angel asked, handing me a beer.

  Meadow and Jay sat on a blanket playing with Andrew. Meadow would laugh, the sound piercing the deepest parts of me. The parts that mattered.

  I stood with Angel while he cooked on the grill. I offered to help but he refused. “I’m taking Meadow to a pizza place I went to with Sunny and a few of the other guys. And I’ll show her around to all the spots he loved.” I left the part of the BDSM club out. Angel wasn’t stupid but I also didn’t need to scar him further. He had surprisingly been decent in the beginning when he found out his daughter was dating two guys. At the same time. Add to the fact that we were more his age instead of hers. I didn’t want to push my luck.

  “You guys talk yet?”

  I looked at him then. “How did you know?”

  He shrugged. “Just do. It seems all of my kids take after their mom that way.”

  I nodded in understanding. “I’m making it a goal to talk to her this weekend. I’ve also been considering something, but I don’t know if I can do it with such short notice.”