by J. M. Walker
A sly grin spread on my face. “Yeah, how my wife is a freaky little slut who likes fucking her husband in the ass.”
She coughed, her cheeks turning red. “Wow, Shade, way to just lay it all out there.”
I chuckled, gently pushed her off of my lap, and stood. Holding out my hand, I waited.
“So, when are we renewing our vows?” she asked, slipping her fingers in mine and letting me help her to her feet.
“Don’t worry, baby. I got it all taken care of.”
She leaned back, staring up at me. “Are you sure? I can help.”
I placed a peck on her lips, giving her ass a light swat. “No, I got it but thank you. Besides, you planned our wedding. This is all on me.” And her father but she didn’t need to know that until tomorrow.
“Okay, so when are we doing this?”
I gave her a wink and pulled away from her. “Tomorrow.”
Her eyes widened. “What? Are you serious?”
“I am very serious. You know.” I brushed a thumb along the length of her jaw. “Sunny’s been gone for five years.”
“I know.” She looked down at her feet. “I was trying not to think about it.” She met my gaze then. “Is that why you chose tomorrow?”
I nodded, my chest tightening.
“He’ll be there,” Meadow said softly. “In spirit. With us.”
I nodded again because what the hell could I say? Sunny was dead and gone, taking a piece of us with him. Even though Meadow hadn’t known him as long as I had, she fell in love with him hard. She had been the only woman I had ever seen crack through his walls and I fell in love with her even more for that.
Meadow
I had wanted to renew our vows for awhile now, but I never knew how to broach the subject with Shade. Sunny not being there, was a touchy subject but now that we had spent the past weekend in Ohio, it was like things completely changed. We were able to start talking more to each other instead of keeping our feelings inside where they had been buried since the beginning.
Heading out to the garage, I went up to Sunny’s bike and pulled off the thick blanket protecting it. I remembered back to when I first saw this machine. I had touched it, Shade noticed and warned me against it. I met Sunny shortly after and the rest was history, as they say.
“Meadow?” Shade called from inside. “Babe.” The garage door opened. “Hey, there you are.”
“I was just remembering,” I murmured, cupping my stomach.
“He loved that bike,” Shade said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my middle. “He loved having you on it even more though.”
“Do you think he loved me?” I blurted, unsure as to where that question suddenly came from.
“What do you mean?”
I pulled out of Shade’s arms and covered Sunny’s bike before turning back around. “I know he told me loved me and I definitely loved him, still do, but I don’t know. I’m being weird.”
“Hey.” Shade cupped my face, forcing me to meet his dark stare. “Sunny didn’t fall in love easily. I remembered when he finally ended things with his ex-wife, he swore he would never fall in love again. And then you happened.”
“I’m a tad pushy and persistent,” I told him.
Shade chuckled. “You are but I love you even more for it. But remember, no matter what happens or how long time has passed, Sunny will always be here as long as Andrew walks this earth.”
Shade grabbed my hands, placing soft pecks on them. “I know Andrew isn’t mine by blood. My DNA isn’t in him. I know that. I’ve known it all along. But have I left? Do I make him call me Shade? Do I refer to him as my stepson? No. I don’t do any of that shit because he is mine.”
“I don’t want you to resent him, and I also don’t want you to love this baby more because this one is definitely yours and I...” I looked up at Shade through unshed tears. “I don’t want Andrew to feel your love any less because of this baby. That’s all.”
Shade pulled me into his arms. “I understand your fears. I get it. I do. But you have nothing to worry about. I love you. I love Andrew. And I love this baby. They are equals in my heart and I won’t love either more or less. They are equal. Do you understand me?”
I nodded quickly. “I’m sorry for worrying.”
“Don’t be sorry, Little Lamb.” He kissed me hard on the mouth. “I get it. I promise I do. And thank you for talking to me about it.”
“I didn’t want to wait another five years before telling you how I felt.”
He chuckled, lifting me into his arms and carrying me out of the garage.
“Where are we going? Don’t we have to leave?”
“Yup.” He kissed the side of my throat. “But I’m going to quickly make love to my wife. She’s a little on edge.”
“I think I need to have a talk with her.” I crushed my mouth to his, letting him take the very control he knew I was willing to give him.
Meadow
I had no idea where we were going. I still couldn’t believe that Shade had planned our vow renewal ceremony all on his own. He said he had some help but still, it was his idea. And that fact alone made me fall in love with him even more.
Once we talked some more about my worries and fears, I could feel us reconnecting on a whole other level I hadn’t felt in a long time. If ever at all.
“You good?” he asked, running his thumb along my inner thigh.
“I am.” I leaned my head against the back of the seat and looked at him then. He was beautiful and was aging well. He was over twenty years older than I was, both he and Sunny were, but they never treated me like I was so much younger than them. In fact, it made us stronger as a threesome and now a couple.
“I wish you would tell me where we’re going,” I said finally, looking out the window.
Shade chuckled, inching his hand higher up my thigh. He had pushed the fabric of my white summery dress up my legs, making sure to constantly be in contact with my skin. “I thought making love to you earlier would have calmed you down a bit.”
I snorted. “Does my husband not know me at all?”
“True.” He pinched my thigh, a gasp leaving me at the sudden sharp pain. “Trust me, Little Lamb, the wait will be worth it.
I sighed, really not liking surprises. “You haven’t told me anything except for the fact that we’re apparently renewing our vows and Andrew is staying with my parents again. Shouldn’t we be taking separate cars then? Kind of like an actual wedding?”
“You worry way too much, babe. We’re almost there.” He nodded once.
I followed his line of sight, my eyes widening. “What...Shade...” My chest tightened, a lump forming in my throat.
This whole time I hadn’t even realized where Shade was taking me. There were cars and bikes of all different shapes, sizes and colors, littering the sides of the road. People milled about. Everyone I had grown up with stood around, waiting.
“You did this?” I asked, my eyes welling.
“I had some help from your father.”
As soon as Shade put the car into park, I unbuckled my seat belt and threw myself at him.
“You’re welcome, baby,” he said, his voice thick.
“God, Shade.” I kissed his cheek, turning his head to finally meet my mouth. “I’ll never be able to repay you for this.”
“Just marry me all over again. That’s all I want in return.”
“I’ll marry you every single day for the rest of our lives.” I kissed him one last time before sitting back in my seat.
“Let’s go. We’re a little late.”
“We are? But you said we had time,” I reminded him, leaving the vehicle.
“I always have time to make my wife feel better.” Shade came up to my side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “You’re not mad that I did this without you, right?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Never. I’ve never had a surprise like this. Ever. I can’t...God.” I laughed, wiping the tears from my face.
&
nbsp; “The only thing that would make this better, is if Sunny were here.” Shade kissed my cheek. “But I like to think he is in a way.”
I turned my head, placing a soft peck on his lips. “He is. Always.”
Shade took a step away from me and held out his hand. “Ready to renew our vows, baby?”
“Yes.” I slipped my fingers in his. “Always.”
As we neared the large crowd, we were greeted by our family and friends, people I had known my whole life, and people I had known for as long as I knew Shade. As the crowd parted and Shade and I continued walking, my eyes landed on Sunny’s grave.
A gasp lodged its way in my throat.
The headstone was done up with flowers, a row of white roses lined both sides of the grave. As we neared, I saw a picture frame sitting at the base of the stone. It was of Shade, Sunny, and I. I was in between them and they were kissing my cheeks.
Shade pulled his arm from my shoulders and brought my hand up to his mouth. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I whispered.
Pulling away from him, I went to the photo and picked it up. A light laugh left me at the memory hitting me.
“Do you remember when I took that?” Shade asked, stepping up behind me.
“Yeah.” I placed it back on the ground and stood.
“Do you remember what Sunny was doing?” he asked, brushing his mouth along my ear.
I swallowed hard, tears falling free. “He was fingering me,” I said, keeping my voice low so our family and friends wouldn’t overhear our conversation.
“He was.” Shade leaned his forehead against the side of my head. “What was I doing?”
“Fingering me too.” I snuggled into his side. You would never know just by looking at the picture that they were both touching me. It had been a private moment between us and I was thankful that we had caught it on camera. It was a memory I would always have.
“We loved doing things to you at the same time, baby. I know I can never replace what you had with him but I’m willing to make up for that loss in any way that I can.”
I leaned back, staring up at my husband.
He moved us to the head of Sunny’s headstone, with us standing across from each other. “The first moment I met you,” he said, his voice louder that time so everyone could hear. “I knew that you were meant to be ours. Sunny tried convincing me that it was all in my head. Since he had been hurt before, I understood his hesitation. But you came into our lives like a powerful little storm.”
I laughed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Shade chuckled, holding my hands tightly in his.
I could feel all eyes on us but all I could do was focus on my husband.
“I never told you this, but I fell in love with you after that phone call you had with Sunny. The one where you gave him the push he needed to take things further with me. You were never jealous of what we had. You never once questioned our feelings for you. The only thing you wanted were the details.” He winked.
I smiled, my cheeks heating.
“I love you, Meadow, and I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you how much. I promise to take care of you, Andrew, this new baby, and all our future babies.”
Gasps sounded around the crowd.
“Uh...surprise.” I laughed.
Shade pulled me into his arms. “I’ll keep the dirtier vows for later tonight,” he murmured against my hair.
“Shade.” I cupped his face. “I know most people wait until their ten-year anniversary or later to renew their vows but thank you for doing it on this day. I can almost hear Sunny saying get on with it already so we can party.”
“And fuck,” Shade whispered.
“Yeah.” I giggled. “That too.” I paused, staring up at him. The man I gave my life to. The man who gave me a son. He became the most incredible father and I could see both him and Sunny in that little boy. “I promise to love you, to never go to bed angry, to finally talk about my feelings instead of keeping them bottled up, and to be there whenever you’re feeling down because you’re missing him.”
“I promise the same,” Shade murmured, his eyes shining.
I brought Shade’s hand up to my mouth, kissing his ring finger. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” Shade pulled me back into his arms, pushing his face into the crook of my neck. “Forever and always. No matter what, I will always love you, live for you, breathe for you. I fucking exist because of you.”
A sob left me, the rest of the words I wanted to say, no longer able to fall from my lips but I hugged Shade, hoping that he could feel them.
Shade
Our emotions were raw as we watched everyone mingle, drink, and party. We were now at the Hell’s Harlem clubhouse but neither Meadow nor I were feeling it. We appreciated our family and friends celebrating with us but we just wanted to be alone.
I found myself dreaming of Sunny often. I could only assume it was because I missed him. His brooding and dominating ways, his love for the word fuck, and his need to protect Meadow.
“Hey you two.” Greyson Mercer came toward us with two drinks in hand. “Eve made a fruity drink with no alcohol for you both. I prefer beer but it’s actually pretty good.”
We took the drinks from him, muttering our thanks.
“How are you doing?” The former president of Hell’s Harlem, wasn’t usually a talker but I knew that he missed Sunny just the same. It was hard for everyone who knew him. He had that way and memories of him would always linger on your soul no matter how much you tried to forget it.
“I’m sad because I miss him, but I also feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.” Meadow met my gaze. “Does that make sense? I think doing the ceremony on this day specifically helped.”
I nodded. “I think so too.” I kissed her temple. “We’ll always miss him. That’ll never change.”
“I know.” She sighed.
“He was a good guy,” Greyson added, sitting across from us in the booth. “I remember when I first met him. He was only a couple of years younger than I was, but he had a scowl on his face that would put mine to shame.”
“That’s hard to believe.” Eve, Greyson’s wife, came up to the table and sat beside her husband.
“It’s true.” Greyson chuckled. “I asked him what his deal was. He came back and asked if I was going to tell him what my issue was. Of course I didn’t. But I respected the hell out of him that he called me out on my shit.”
“So that’s why you fell in love with me.” Eve laughed. “I called you out on your shit.”
Greyson looked my way and winked before leaning down to his wife’s ear. He muttered something that put a flush in her cheeks and a smile on her lips.
“I want that,” I told Meadow.
“Me too.” She cupped my inner thigh. “And we’ll have it because I refuse to have anything less.”
I pinched her chin, brushing my mouth along hers. “Think we can disappear for a bit?”
A sly grin spread on her face. “I think your wife is bored and wants her husband to play.”
“Oh? And what does she want him to play with?”
Meadow crooked her finger, indicating for me to come closer.
I leaned down, waiting for her answer.
Her lips brushed the shell of my ear. “She wants him to play with his little slut.”
I coughed, my dick jumping.
Before I could make that happen and give my wife exactly what she wanted, several others came up to our table.
They all started talking about Sunny and how their first interaction with him was.
“I like this better,” Meadow said softly. “We can do the rest later.”
Hooking an arm around her shoulders, I pulled her into my side. “I agree, Little Lamb.” I sighed, listening to stories about the first and only man I ever loved. “I agree.”
THE END
First, I would just like to thank Kristen Collins for inviting me to be a
part of this series. It was a challenge to say the least, especially when these characters suddenly stopped talking while I was writing the story. That’s always helpful when that happens. But I pushed through, and I couldn’t be happier!
Thank you to my wonderful team! Angie, Jennifer and Christina, my alpha and beta readers. You see my books in the raw and I can’t thank you enough for your help and patience through each story I send you.
Joanne: Thank you as always for your editing expertise! You are amazing and I still can’t believe how many books we’ve been through together now.
J.M.’s Jems: I know. I really know. The thing I did in Meadow and Shade’s first story...that was awful. Who lets me play with characters? I hope this novella gives you a little bit of closure at least.
Authors, bloggers, readers: You all are amazing, and I can’t thank you enough for your support.
The authors and team of the Perfectly Stated Series: I wish you all nothing but the best and thank you to each of you for making me feel welcome!
JM
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J.M. Walker is an Amazon bestselling author who also hit USA Today with Wanted: An Outlaw Anthology. She loves all things books, pigs and lip gloss. She is happily married to the man who inspires all of her Heroes and continues to make her weak in the knees every single day.
“Above all, be the HEROINE of your own life...” ~ Nora Ephron
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