Krissy shifted in bed and, in a fragile whisper that broke on nearly every syllable, sang, “Shin-ing… down … on… me…”
She shifted in her bed and tensed, waiting to hear—someone else sing the next line, but the darkness and silence remained unbroken.
Gradually, Krissy saw the details of her bedroom resolve out of the gloom. The streetlight outside her window was sliced into bright blue bars of light that angled across the floor. She sat up in bed and cocked her head back and forth, momentarily confused as to where she was. Her eyes were wide open, rounded so they could take in more light. She could see the stark texture of the floorboards and, against the far wall, the dark bulk of her dresser and closet door. Everything around her seemed suspended in a murky, dark whirlpool that was familiar and, at the same time, scary.
Turning her head slowly to the side and hardly daring to breathe, Krissy blinked and rubbed her eyes before surveying the room. Her throat felt dry and raw. A thin sheen of sweat covered her forehead and gave her a mild chill. She was positive that she hadn’t dreamed hearing the voice that had been singing that song to her, and she had no doubt who it was.
Almost every night since they had moved into this apartment, Krissy would wake up in the middle of the night and see the blue lady. More often than not, she would simply be sitting on the edge of Krissy’s bed with her face turned away from Krissy as she brushed her hair and sang “I See the Moon.” Krissy could never tell if the glow that surrounded the lady came from her face or from the streetlight that shined through her bedroom window. The first few times she had seen her Krissy had been scared to death, too scared even to cry out or scream. She knew enough to know that this must be some kind of ghost, but—somehow—she wasn’t as scared of her as she thought she should be. After a while, the nightly visitations became almost routine, and Krissy realized that the blue lady, no matter what she was, wasn’t here to hurt her or even to scare her. A couple of times, once she got up her courage, Krissy even tried to speak to her, but no matter what she said, the blue lady simply continued to brush her hair and sing, her voice no more than a feathery whisper in the dark.
“Are you… here?” Krissy said in a tiny, frightened whisper.
She shifted her feet out from under the covers and onto the floor, continuing all the while to scan the room as she waited and listened to the silence that fluttered like the muffled sound of birds’ wings. She told herself not to be so scared, that the blue lady was her friend. Why else would she have been outside her school the other day, pointing at the car that looked exactly like her daddy’s car, which was parked up on the Street? And why else would she have seen her again today, right when she had gotten home from school? Although it had been almost impossible to see her in the bright glare of sunlight, for just a second or two, she had seen the blue lady standing right there in the middle of the street, in front of the church parking lot. She had looked all hazy and transparent, like the ripples in the air over a hot road. The one car that had passed by seemed to drive right through her. She had been holding one arm up as if she were pointing to something, but Krissy was grateful that, at least this time, she hadn’t waved to her like she wanted her to follow her someplace!
Several times, Krissy had wanted to talk to Aunt Cindy or Billy about it, but she knew—somehow—that it would be best if she kept all of this to herself, no matter how scared she might get. She knew that Aunt Cindy was already worried enough about what was happening to them, and she certainly didn’t want Billy teasing her about being a cry-baby. But more than that, she sensed that the blue lady didn’t want anyone else to know about her… not yet, at least.
No, Krissy knew she had to deal with this all by herself, no matter how scary it got.
She had no idea if other people saw things the way she did, and she wondered if she was normal or not. She remembered her mother reading her different stories about fairies and elves and other magical things, but she was pretty sure this wasn’t the same thing. She often thought—or hoped—that her blue lady wasn’t a ghost, but that she was some kind of guardian angel or saint or something. In fact, Krissy thought she looked quite a bit like the woman in the stained glass window in the church across the street, the one with the halo who was wearing a bright blue robe. She had asked Aunt Cindy about that lady, and her aunt had told her that it was the Virgin Mary. From the Sunday School class she had gone to while her mother was in church, Krissy knew that Mary had something to do with Christmas and the baby Jesus. Although her blue lady’s face shined with the same sort of light, like the halo around Mary’s stained-glass head, Krissy sensed that she wasn’t the Virgin Mary.
No, her blue lady usually just sat there on the edge of her bed in the dark bedroom, brushing her hair, softly singing “I See the Moon.” Krissy was positive the mother of Jesus had better things to do than something as silly and plain-old ordinary as that.
“Somewhere I know in the deep, dark night—”
The words came to Krissy with a soft, brushing sound out of the embracing darkness. A tingling thrill raced through her limbs. Her stomach started to ache like she had to go pee real bad. Her eyes widened as she looked at the foot of her bed, but the blue lady wasn’t there. Krissy glanced all around the room but she still couldn’t see anyone.
After clearing her throat, Krissy started singing in a halting, raspy breath, “Someone watches me with a guiding light.”
Wondering, as she had so many times before, if she might still be asleep and dreaming all of this, she covered her mouth with both hands, too frightened to move. The throb of her pulse in her neck felt like tiny fingers were trying to squeeze her throat shut. Slowly, she turned her head toward the window and saw her.
“Yes, you are here!” was all Krissy managed to say before her throat closed off with a loud click.
The glow of light from outside cut vertical lines across the floor. Although she cast no shadow, Krissy could see the vague outline of the lady standing over by the window. She wasn’t much more than a subtle blue glow that stood out against the dark slats of the closed blinds. She was leaning forward, the profile of her face edged by the streetlight as she looked outside. The glowing traces of her lips were moving up and down as though she was saying something, but Krissy couldn’t hear what it was over the sound of her heartbeat. It might have just been a trick of the light, but it certainly looked as though a silvery line of tears was streaming down the lady’s face.
“I… I knew you were here,” Krissy said, surprised by the high, strangled sound of her own voice. Again, as she had so many other nights before, she wondered if this could be a dream. She pinched herself on the back of the hand, just to make sure she was awake. It felt like a bee sting and made her hand go numb.
“What… what do you want?” Krissy asked. Her body was alive with pins ’n needles. “What are you looking at?”
The blue lady slowly turned her head and regarded Krissy with a steady, unblinking stare. The lady’s face looked so familiar it sent a jolt of surprise racing through Krissy, but she was too frightened to register who it was. She watched as shimmering tears streamed down over the woman’s cheeks, and she felt the lady’s sadness as deeply as if it were her own. Then slowly, dreamily, the blue lady raised her right hand and, curling her fingers in upon themselves, beckoned to Krissy while her left hand gently extended and pointed downward. It seemed almost to pass straight through the closed blinds without disturbing them.
“Wha—what is it?” Krissy asked, gasping. Her voice shook horribly, and the pressure of having to go pee became almost intolerable. “Is there… is there something outside you want me to see?”
Very subtly, the luminous figure slowly rotated its head up and down, all the while continuing to point and beckon.
Krissy stood up on legs that didn’t feel at all strong enough to support her. As she took a few tentative steps forward, her feet dragged over the floor as though they were encased in cement. All the while, her gaze was fixed on the blue lady, who seemed to
be melting from view, blending into the narrow bars of light that shined in through the blinds. All around her, the darkness seemed to be vibrating with swirls of energy. Pinpoints of pale light blossomed and faded in sporadic bursts. Krissy thought she detected faint motions of other, darker figures moving against the blackness, and she thought she could hear faint whisperings, but she was too scared to stop and listen carefully as she moved steadily forward, her breath panting rapidly in and out.
I’ll be okay… I’ll be okay… She doesn’t want to hurl me, she kept telling herself, wishing she could cry out, so Aunt Cindy would come racing to her room. She doesn’t want to hurt me! She’s just trying to help. I can tell… I’ll be okay…I’ll be okay!
It struck her as strange how, the closer she got to the blue lady, the less distinct she became. Once Krissy was within arm’s reach of the window, the figure shimmered and faded away, filling the air around her with a soft, crackling hiss. Krissy’s hands were clammy and trembling as she reached out and gripped the pullstring of the blinds.
“I… see… the… moon…”
The high, lilting voice sounded close to Krissy’s ear, seemingly surrounding her like a soft blanket in the dark.
Never in her life had she wanted to scream more than at that moment… not even on that night last spring when she had heard her mother and father arguing downstairs and had come down to the kitchen and, hiding in the darkened doorway, had seen what her father was doing to her mother.
Terror like a pure, blinding white light began to fill her now, erasing every other thought in her mind. It looked and felt to her like someone else’s hand was tugging down on the pullstring. And as the blinds ran up, the sudden intensity of the streetlight nearly blinded Krissy. She took an involuntary step backward and almost fell, but somehow her grip on the pullstring helped her keep her balance.
“And… the… moon… sees…me…”
Her eyes were drawn irresistibly to the view outside her bedroom window. After her eyesight had adjusted, she saw that the light from the streetlamp was soft and glowing, casting everything with a pale blue luster. It looked almost like a skimming of fresh snow had covered the world. Down the Street, a few lights were still on in some buildings, but for the most part, it looked like a sleepy little town. Only on the horizon, above the trees that bordered the church parking lot, could Krissy see the jagged canyon-edged skyline of the city. No cars were moving on the street except for down at the intersection, where a police car was waiting for the traffic light to change to green.
What were you looking at? Krissy thought.
She desperately wanted to ask her question out loud, but the tightness hadn’t let go of her throat. She could hear herself gasping to take a deep breath. It sounded like the shuddering sobs she made after she had been crying a long time.
“I … see… its… light… shining… down…”
Krissy tensed, having no idea if she were hearing the words or if they were in her mind. Her gaze suddenly shifted upward to the wash of night sky, which had been turned a hazy charcoal gray by the distant city lights. High above the city, she could barely make out the faint sparkle of a few stars, but when she pressed her face against the glass and looked toward the front of the apartment building, she saw the thin crescent of moon, riding low in the sky above a drifting bank of clouds. It looked like a single, vicious horn. She felt her attention attracted to it, almost as if, were the window open, she would be able to spread her arms out wide and fly up into the sky.
“Somewhere… I … know… in … the… deep dark… night…”
God, this HAS to be a dream! she thought frantically. Please let me wake up now!
Krissy was only five years old, but she knew that it was impossible to fly. That was something only Peter Pan could do in the cartoon her aunt had rented for her last week. But that didn’t dispel the dizzying sensation that she had drifted out her bedroom window and was suspended high above the ground, looking down at the sleeping city. Her eyes filled with tears that made every pinpoint of light sparkle like a jewel. Reds, greens, blues, and yellows all shattered into bright, watery circles. Looking down from the moon to the street in front of the apartment building, she noticed several cars that were parked along the curbside. Straight down below the moon, caught in the dark, angled slash of shadow cast by the church, she saw a pale white van. It glowed in the night with an eerie greenish-white, looking like that scary “Glow-in-the-dark” skeleton Billy used to have hanging in his bedroom back home in Omaha.
Krissy felt an inexplicable shiver run through her when her gaze lighted on the black rectangle of the driver’s window. The streetlight reflected off it like sunlight off a frozen pond. Hissing whispers filled Krissy’s ears, but if any words were spoken she couldn’t quite make them out. She watched in mute horror as a dark shape shifted against the darkness inside the van.
Oh, my God! Is that a person? Is someone really sitting out there?
The burning need for air twisted inside her lungs, but no matter how hard or fast she breathed she couldn’t quite catch a deep enough breath. Her eyes were wide open circles that pulsed with her racing heart as she stared down at the van window and tried to pierce the darkness to see what—or who—was inside.
No, I must just be imagining it, she thought, wishing she had enough air in her lungs to scream. It’s just the light, playing tricks on my eyes.
An aching tiredness filled her, and she wanted nothing more than to go back to bed and forget everything.
“Someone … watches… me… with … a… guiding… light….”
Shivering wildly, she hugged herself tightly and stepped away from the window. Her knees almost buckled under her, but she steadied herself and felt her way, step by step, back to her bed. When the backs of her legs bumped into the mattress she flopped backwards, twisting around so she landed with her head on her pillow. The headboard bumped hard against the wall, and she wondered if the sound would wake up her aunt, but for long, tense seconds, the silence remained unbroken. Krissy strained to hear if the blue lady was still singing, but the night was quiet now.
No, there’s nobody out there! Krissy thought, trying to calm herself and still wishing desperately that she could call out to her aunt. There can’t be! That’s crazy! Who would stay outside all night, sitting in their car? No one would do something crazy like that!
But even as she thought this, she sensed that she was lying to herself. She knew she had seen something out there, and lying in the darkness, thinking about it now, she thought she now remembered actually seeing a face inside the van. It was squashed flat against the van’s window and looking up at her with eyes that glowed flat and dull in the glare of the streetlight. She whimpered softly, remembering the vacant stare she had seen in her mother’s eyes that night last spring after her father pushed her against the counter top.
And as hard as she tried not to, Krissy lay there in the dark, imagining that the face was still out there in the van window… still staring blankly up at her bedroom window and smiling hungrily at her.
Chapter Sixteen
Cat and Mouse
You stupid bastard! You stupid fucking bastard!
That was all Alex could think as he staggered, bleary-eyed and weak, into Denny’s on Brighton Avenue for breakfast. He’d been sitting in the van for most of the night, so his neck was stiff and his body felt like someone had tied it into a few dozen knots. A line of drool from the corner of his mouth had dried on his chin, leaving a thin crust that itched maddeningly even after he had rubbed it away.
It was a little before six o’clock in the morning as he sat down at the half-filled counter and ordered breakfast—two eggs over easy, bacon, juice, and toast. The waitress, her name tag said “Brenda,” poured him a cup of coffee. It scalded his throat when he took his first gulp, but he smiled to himself and smacked his lips. It made him feel almost half-alive.
When he thought about last night, though, at least the parts he could remember clearly, he starte
d to feel really pissed. He couldn’t believe what he had done!
Once he was sure he had found where Cindy was living with the kids, he had stopped off at a place called the Great Lost Bear on Forest Avenue and had supper and a few—no, make that more than a few beers. On his way back to the motel near Exit 8 where he was staying, he picked up a twelve pack of Bud at the 7-Eleven. After he’d had a few more, too many to count, he had called up Cindy and talked to her. That must have been sometime around one or two o’clock in the morning. He couldn’t remember exactly what he had said to her, but he vaguely recalled teasing her, talking to her like they were lovers who were having a passionate, sexual affair. He chuckled, thinking about what he had really meant when he told her he’d been thinking about what he wanted to do to her. Then, once he was so drunk he was barely in control of what he was doing, he had actually driven over to her apartment and parked out on the street where he had continued drinking warm beer until he passed out, some time before dawn.
Christ, was that ever a fuckin’ stupid thing to do! What if Cindy had recognized his voice and now knew that he had found her?
Or what if the police had seen him parked there and had stopped to question him?
Or what if, once he was completely loaded, he had tried to drive back to the motel and had gotten into an accident or been pulled over for drunk driving?
Hell, the way he was feeling last night, he knew damned right well he would have punched the shit out of any cop who tried to hassle his ass.
Thankfully, none of those things had happened, and in the blood-shot light of day, he realized that what he had done last night had been completely asinine. He could have easily blown everything he’d been working for weeks to set up. As he took a second, more tentative sip of his coffee, he resolved not to drink any alcohol, at least not until he had settled his score with Cindy.
And then, by Jesus, he was going to go on one hell of a bender!
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