by John, Ashley
“Woah!” Ben jumped back, snow hitting the tips of his boots, “This is going to be impossible.”
“Not impossible,” Cal beamed as he snapped his orange goggles over his eyes, “just really fucking hard.”
Cal started digging a path out, shooting the snow as far over into the distance as he could. Ben watched for a couple of minutes, observing and admiring Cal’s technique. It turned out, there wasn’t a technique. They needed to dig themselves around to the side of the cabin so he could change the gasoline canister to turn the power back on.
“The cabin’s built in a little dip in the forest,” Cal explained, “it’s like a bowl. I think they built this one as a test and it failed. Whenever we have a whiteout, it gets buried. It levels out way over there, so when you need to get back to the resort, it won’t be too hard to get you out.”
“Won’t they be buried too?”
“I doubt much has changed for them,” Cal heaved a heavy pile of snow over his head, “they keep on top of it, even during whiteouts. It all gets shovelled away so things aren’t disrupted too much for the tourists.”
Ben had almost forgotten that he had been one of those tourists a couple of days ago. Had there really been a life before Cal and the cabin? If there had, he was sure it couldn’t have been very fulfilling.
They dug for what felt like hours. Ben’s shoulders, hands and spine ached, his nose was frozen and his head was pounding from the pressure of the tight earmuffs. Just when Ben didn’t think he could shovel another load of snow, Cal dusted the snow off the generator. It heaved and groaned, vibrating as it sucked on the empty gasoline tank, a faint smell of burning lingering in the surrounding air. The second the bulk of the snow was taken away it started to melt the remainder as it spat out dry whips of smoke.
“Sorry, old girl,” Cal patted it with his gloves, “we’ll get you some juice.”
He changed the tank and light from the small windows illuminated the snow. Ben felt relieved that they could head back inside but it seemed that Cal had other ideas. A tiny snowball hit him in the face, whipping against him like a slap from the ice queen herself.
“You little -,” Ben mumbled, already grabbing his own handful.
“It’s not Christmas without a snowball fight!” Cal tossed another and it hit Ben square in the chest.
Ben doubled back along the short path they had dug around the side of the cabin. He bent down and fumbled for the snow on the ground, picking up twigs with it. He patted it into a tiny solid ball, ready to throw it toward his attacker. Cal, on the other hand, was way ahead of him. A shovel full of fluffy snow rained down on Ben. He fell backward onto his backside; snow in his mouth and blinding him over the goggles. Before he could wipe them away, he felt something heavier than snow fall down on him. Gloved fingers that weren’t his snapped away the goggles to reveal a bearded smile beaming brighter than the surrounding miles of fresh snow.
“Sorry about that,” he twinkled playfully.
“You have two choices,” Ben shivered, “I dunk you head first into that snow, or you warm me up.”
“How do you want me to do that?”
Ben bit his lip, looking down at Cal’s lips as he did. Even through the ice cold feeling of snow melting in the creases of his neck, he felt the blood rush below his belt.
“We still have those coupons.”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Cal whispered.
The American dove in and kissed Ben deeply. He almost forgot that they were outside and covered in snow. When fresh snow started to fall from the black abyss above, he opened his eyes.
“There’s a fire waiting for us inside,” said Ben.
Cal jumped up, an obvious erection poking through his snow pants. He helped Ben to his feet, not letting go of his hand when they headed back into the cabin. When the door was closed behind them, Cal flicked off the lights so that it was just the fire and candles lighting them.
“What was the point in going outside?”
“There wasn’t one,” Cal stood in front of the door as he pulled off his gloves in the glow of the candles, “I just wanted an excuse to get you dressed up.”
“Why?” Ben’s heart pounded in his chest.
“So I could unwrap you.”
Cal grabbed the fur of Ben’s hood, pulling him in. Their lips met, banishing the cold from Ben’s body. They stumbled towards the fireplace, knocking over piles of books as they went. When Ben started to feel the intensity of the flames, he yanked off his gloves so he could start to unravel Cal’s layers.
He unzipped Cal’s jacket with fumbling and cold fingers. There was a sense of urgency there, as though every second spent in the cabin had been leading up to this moment. How perfect that it was happening on Christmas night, Ben thought.
Cal shrugged his jacket off and yanked Ben’s off in the same way. He broke the kiss to pull Ben’s sweater and t-shirt over his head in one swift movement. His beard rubbed against Ben’s chest as his tongue caressed his nipple. Tossing his head back, he wondered why he had never known the pleasure this simple action could bring.
Cal’s kisses travelled further down his body and to his hips. Cal yanked Ben’s trousers down his thighs, leaving his white underwear where they were. With playful eyes, he looked up at Ben with a smirk. His teeth wrapped around the elastic of his underwear so he could drag them slowly down. Ben’s cock sprung forward and it was quickly in Cal’s mouth once again.
If there was a chill in the cabin, he couldn’t feel it. The fire was starting to die down but neither of them was in a hurry to throw in more logs.
Cal’s kisses travelled back up Ben’s torso and hands wrapped around his back. Trousers and underwear still around his ankles, blocked by the snow boots, he steadily lowered himself to the ground, Cal’s hands guiding him the whole time. The scratchy fabric of the hearthrug rubbed against his buttocks as he positioned himself underneath Cal’s still dressed body.
Wasting no time, Cal quickly tugged off Ben’s heavy boots. He peeled back the socks and slid the cold clothes over his feet. Ben leaned back and looked up at Cal, who was kneeling over him. He lifted his sweater over his head, the t-shirt sliding with it to reveal the laboured body and tattoos underneath. The intense shovelling had brought forward the muscles in his stomach and chest and in the soft glow of the fire Ben thought they looked even more perfect than ever before.
Cal tossed the clothes aside and rubbed his inked bicep before standing up to take off the rest of his clothes. When he was fully naked, his thick shaft curling upwards, he lowered his body back down to Ben so their lips could meet again.
Hands on either side of Ben’s head stopped the full weight of the muscled man from bearing down on him. Cal’s skin was warm to the touch and his body hair soft against Ben’s smooth skin. Their cocks rubbed together, a silent sign of what was to come. The kiss was deep and passionate, just like it always was, but Ben was sure he could sense some nerves in Cal’s kiss.
Reminding himself that Cal could have fucked him the second they got to his cabin, made it feel even more special that they had waited.
Ben opened his legs and wrapped them around Cal’s thighs. He needed to feel the warmth of a man inside him more than ever before. Cal seemed to sense this too because he kneeled in the space that had been left by Ben’s legs. He looked down at Ben’s body, his hands running from his face, to his chest and down his stomach. Ben had never been made to feel as attractive as he did in that moment.
Using spit as lube, Cal slowly started to tease Ben with the tip of his finger. He winced, tightening as an instinctive reaction. Cal’s free hand landed on Ben’s stomach, his thumb rubbing soothingly back and forth. He felt a single finger enter, forcing him to relax.
Cal was slow and soft, making sure not to hurt Ben. He massaged slowly and with each passing second, Ben felt more and more relaxed. It would take more than a finger to ready him for what was to come, he knew that, but he wasn’t sure waiting any longer was going to be an option.
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He drew Cal back down into a delicate and soft kiss. Breathing heavily through his nostrils he pulled away and nodded, looking deep into Cal’s warm eyes. Cal closed his eyes again and leaned back into the kiss.
Cal knelt again, pulling Ben toward him and angling his hips. With the aid of more spit, he lined himself up with Ben with one hand. As he slowly entered, he leaned back in to Ben’s lips, their bodies becoming one so slowly, Ben didn’t feel the pain he was expecting. Protective hands wrapped around his shoulders, their kiss binding them. His legs wrapped around Cal’s buttocks as he slowly rocked his hips to fuck Ben. This wasn’t a quickie in a car or a one-night stand with somebody whose name he didn’t know, it was something much more than that.
Ben’s breathing trembled through the kiss as Cal sped up, causing every sense to heighten. The warmth of the fire burned his skin and he was sure he could hear the snow falling outside. Mulled wine lingered on Cal’s breath and through his closed eyes he could sense the beauty of the man on top of him.
Ben felt cradled and safe as Cal thrust slowly. Each time he did, Ben felt the thickness and length of the cock inside of him. He moaned deeply, almost growling. He wrapped his hands around Cal’s neck and pulled him deeper into the kiss.
Cal’s hands moved from cradling Ben’s shoulders to gripping them. His firm stomach tensed and he pulled out slowly. Ben almost thought it was over but Cal had other ideas. He pushed hard and deep into Ben, producing a deep moan from within his throat.
Using Ben’s shoulders as handles and the hands around his neck as encouragement, Cal performed the same move but this time, without stopping. He fucked Ben harder and deeper than he had ever been fucked before, without removing the intimacy.
Sweat trickled from Cal’s body as Ben slid his hands along his broad shoulders and down to his arse cheeks. Under his touch, they clenched and relaxed as he pounded. One of Cal’s hands escaped Ben’s shoulder to find it’s way into his dirty blonde hair. It clenched tightly, making Ben moan again, even louder.
Remembering they were in the middle of the woods and in the middle of a whiteout, he moaned again, almost screaming through the blinding pleasure. He felt Cal smile through the kiss and he used Ben’s moans as a signal to clench his hair tighter. Cal grunted through the kiss, his sweat pouring from the forehead, over his eyes and onto Ben’s face.
Suddenly, everything stopped and Cal pulled out. Kneeling, he tossed his head back, his dark hair flipping back with it. Through the muscles, his stomach and chest pounded along with the veins in his neck as he worked the veins in his shaft. He shuddered and cried out, no silence needed. Cal quickly looked down and watched as he finished on Ben’s stomach. Still in the wave of his own orgasm, he quickly did the same to Ben, making sure to watch as he released.
Fighting for breath, they lay silently on the rug next to each other. The cabin felt close to boiling point, the air thick and stuffy. Wiping the sweat from his hair and face, Ben rested his hands above his head and let out a low laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Cal whispered.
“Nothing,” Ben shook his head, speaking for the first time since they had undressed, “I just thought this Christmas was going to be rubbish and – and it’s ended up being the best one ever.”
He turned his head slowly to Cal with a smile.
“Was I really that good?” Cal winked.
“I’m not just talking about the sex.”
Cal’s smile dropped, his features suddenly turning serious.
“I know,” he nodded, “the same goes for me.”
Cal opened his arm and pulled Ben’s body into his side. He smelled spicy and musky, his aftershave mixing with the sweat.
When they were cleaned up and sitting on the floor in front of the sofa, Cal pulled a small parcel out from underneath one of the sofa cushions.
“I wanted to give you this before Christmas was over,” Cal clutched the parcel in his hands before passing it over to Ben, “Merry Christmas, Ben.”
Ben accepted the gift, which was wrapped in black and white newspaper written in the native language. A length of old string held it together with a neat bow. Ben tugged on the bow and the newspaper unravelled to reveal Cal’s mom’s first edition hardback copy of Murder On The Orient Express.
“Cal, I -,”
“Before you say you can’t accept it,” Cal jumped in, his eyes trained on the quickly dying fire, “I want you to have it. Giving this away doesn’t make me sad, Ben, it makes me happy. Mom never got the chance to go to England, so take this book and show her England. Take her to Oxford and Manchester and treasure it. You’re the English Literature student, this is better in your hands than mine.”
Ben felt the weight of the book in his hands. The history and emotions he could sense running through its pages was obvious. It rendered him speechless. He knew how important these books were to Cal and that’s why he couldn’t turn it down. To deny the importance of the gesture would be an insult to Cal and his mother.
“Thank you,” Ben turned the book over in his hands, “I have nothing to give you in return.”
“You’ve already given me enough,” Cal smiled, “this was the first Christmas since I left home that I haven’t spent alone. Thank you.”
Ben’s heart tightened in his chest. Would things still have worked out the same if it wasn’t for the whiteout? Deep down, he hoped so.
“Merry Christmas,” Ben whispered, leaning his head on Cal’s shoulder.
He looked to the tiny clock on the mantelpiece. It was five past twelve. Christmas was over and reality waited for him with the sunrise, but until then, he was going to spend the rest of the night in the arms of a man he didn’t know if he was going to be able to leave.
Boxing Day was usually the day Ben spent in front of the TV, not moving and eating turkey and stuffing sandwiches on the hour, every hour. When the sun rose on the cold cabin, reality sunk in straight away. They spent most of the morning where they had fallen asleep, silently cuddling under the blanket on the rug. Both knew the other was awake, but neither wanted to speak.
“We should get up,” Cal was the first to speak.
When they were dressed, they used the path they had already started to dig out the night before. Just as Cal had explained, it wasn’t long until the ground levelled out and the snow became easier to walk on. Before Ben knew it, he was looking back at the shadow of the cabin with the book tucked deep inside his jacket.
He silently said goodbye to it, knowing he was probably never going to see it again. He mentally thanked it for having him for Christmas and turned back to the forest ahead as Cal walked in front.
The rest of the resort was life as usual. The bars, cafes and shops were filled, no sign that a whiteout and Christmas had just passed. Bodies dotted the surrounding slopes and Ben wondered if one of them was Jonny, taking in the last of the slopes before their journey back to England in the morning.
Wanting to prolong things, Ben suggested they stop off at a coffee shop. Before he knew it, their coffee cups were empty and they were forced to head out into the snow again.
They walked silently to Jonny’s cabin. The second it came into view, reality hit Ben and he wanted to be back in the cabin and nowhere else. He thought about his family, his degree and his real life back in England. Unexpectedly, it lost all weight and he wanted to stay with Cal.
“You’ve got some explaining to do,” Cal laughed as they paused next to a phone box within safe distance of the cabin, “how will Jonny take it?”
“He probably hasn’t noticed I’ve been gone,” said Ben, “you can come in if you want?”
Even as he said it, he could sense that Cal wasn’t going to come in for a last minute extension of their goodbye. What was coming next was written across Cal’s face and it hurt Ben. Christmas was over, the snow had stopped falling and everything they had done was already starting to slip away like a dream he couldn’t cling on to.
“I’ll have a lot of jobs to catch up on,” Cal’s s
mile was sad, even if he was trying to keep it optimistic, “the place has probably fallen to pieces without me.”
“Right,” Ben nodded.
He desperately looked to the cabin, hoping for an excuse to stay with Cal for longer. He could sense that he was already itching to get away.
“Can I see you tonight?” Ben asked, “I’m flying back to England in the morning and -,”
“Your friend,” Cal nodded to the cabin where Jonny was on the porch, fully dressed with his skis under his arm, “he’ll probably want to spend at least one night of your vacation with you, won’t he?”
“Sure,” Ben shrugged, “I guess. Does this mean -,”
“It’s not goodbye,” Cal cut him off, “I don’t do goodbyes. Nothing is ever really over.”
Despite his words, it felt like a goodbye and it was a goodbye Ben wasn’t willing to make.
“Just wait here,” Ben said, “I’ll explain to Jonny what happened and then I’ll come back and spend the day with you working. I don’t care about this trip. Jonny sees me everyday, he’ll understand.”
Without giving Cal a chance to argue, Ben ran up the gentle slope toward the cabin. Jonny didn’t notice him until he was running up the steps of the cabin. His eyes shot open, as though he had just seen a ghost and he dropped his skis.”
“Where the fuck have you been?” he punched Ben hard in the arm, “Dude, any idea how panicked I’ve been? What the fuck, man?”
“Sorry, I, I got stuck in somebody’s cabin and there was the whiteout and -,”
“Whose cabin?” Jonny folded his arms, his dark eyebrows looming angrily over his blue pupils, “You missed Christmas.”
Ben looked over his shoulder to point Cal out. When he saw the phone box, his heart sank. Cal had already gone.