by Bronwyn Eley
‘Reassignment?’
‘To the Companion House.’ He sat forward and my throat closed up. I said nothing. ‘A bit of work and you’re not too bad to look at. I imagine Quinn could have worked her magic on you.’ He chuckled. ‘Too late now, I suppose.’
Strange, that the idea of reassignment to the Companion House appealed to me now.
‘But that was very greedy of him,’ Rennard continued, taking a swig of his wine. ‘To keep you to himself.’
‘It’s just a dress,’ I found myself saying weakly. Rennard paused, then gestured for me to continue. ‘It takes a lot more than good looks to be a Companion. I don’t believe I would have made a good match.’
His mouth twisted into a sickly smile. ‘I suppose you’re right. Knowing you as I do now, I would have to agree that your personality is not suited to that of a Companion.’ He tisked and slid from his seat. ‘Still, for some the personality matters not.’
I flinched when Lirr’s hand rested on my lower back, firmly pressing against me as I tried to back away from his approach. I didn’t look at her, though, keeping my focus on Rennard. When he stopped, he was so close I could smell the heavy wine on his breath, so strong it was as if the fumes were pouring out of his skin.
‘You look very fine tonight, Kaylan,’ he said softly, his mouth only a few inches above my head. The Relic winked at me from his open collar, ever his accomplice.
Rennard picked up a strand of my hair. I tried not to react, but a flinch shuddered through me nonetheless. For once I chose to focus on the pain in my chest. It felt as if someone had pressed their entire body weight down on me, slowly crushing me, collapsing me in until there was no more. My stomach tensed, protesting the feeling, inescapable as it was.
My breath stopped.
‘Lirr!’ Jesper’s voice rang out over the music. Rennard took a step back and I sucked in a welcome breath.
Lirr turned to greet the cheerful woman. Overcome with excitement, Jesper took Lirr in an embrace, then grabbed Rennard’s hand and pulled him to her side. She turned to me, eyes locking with mine as relief flooded through me.
Thank you.
A flicker of a smile reassured me. This was her burden to bear now. Turning to her husband, she wrapped her arms around his waist. I watched one of his hands move around her and the other reach for his glass of wine. He poured the remainder down his throat before squeezing Jesper closer. I could see her trembling beneath his hold. Her face was right next to the Relic.
‘Are you having a good time?’ Rennard asked his wife. She looked up to meet his gaze, a dazzling smile as her response. He kissed her quickly.
‘Kaylan.’ She turned to me. ‘Thank you for coming, and thank you for making my costume. It really is incredible.’
‘You made that?’ Lirr pointed, her eyes on Jesper’s armour. I nodded. ‘Well done. Very impressive.’
‘I’m the talk of the party,’ Jesper smirked. ‘And not just because it’s my party.’
Rennard, oblivious, gestured for more wine. A flustered man approached us to refill his glass, shooting a startled look in my direction at having been saddled with one of my responsibilities. Jesper’s kindness was cruelty to others.
‘Markus!’ Rennard’s voice boomed, and he opened his arms wide.
I turned to see Markus jogging lightly up the stairs.
His clothes would have been lovely, were it not for the mess he had made of them. The rich fabric of his shirt and pants had been torn in multiple places, decorated with shades of brown and red. He had smudged kohl under his eyes to form dark bags and dusted the rest of his face with white powder. Somehow, he had managed to create what looked like a slit throat using cosmetics. It was impressive. A dead man walking.
Despite all that, I tensed, acutely aware that a single comment from Rennard would unravel my poorly constructed disguise. I knew Jesper would do her best to cover for me until I told Markus myself. That was the only right way to do this.
Luckily, all of Rennard’s attention was now on Markus. I watched their embrace curiously. Rennard in a good mood seemed a rarity, but perhaps it was just that I never saw him with his friends.
Friends.
‘I spotted you a while ago,’ Rennard chided as he and Markus separated. ‘You only come to see me now?’
‘I was waylaid, my lord,’ Markus chuckled, dipping his head respectfully.
‘Ah, yes,’ Rennard smirked, peering over Markus’ significantly higher shoulder. ‘Which young lady caught your eye? Need me to make any introductions?’
‘I know them all, my lord.’
Rennard opened his palms. ‘That settles it! We need new blood for our boy here, don’t we, my love?’
Rennard leaned over and dropped a light kiss on Jesper’s cheek. The pain of the Relic was but a mere ebb now. I could understand why Rennard was so fond of Markus, but still it confused me.
‘We do,’ Jesper purred, glancing to Markus. ‘For a bit of entertainment, at the very least.’
‘And what is this?’ He clapped Markus on the shoulder. ‘A lively man very much dead now, it seems. How tragic.’
Markus chuckled. ‘My sister helped with the cosmetics.’
‘Where is the little rascal?’
‘Around here somewhere, dressed as a monkey.’
Rennard chuckled and squeezed Jesper to his side. She returned the gesture, her eyes somewhat less alive than his.
Lirr brushed my shoulder and whispered, ‘Did you want something to eat? You look famished.’
Thanks to Markus, the effects of the Relic had lightened. Perhaps I could face a bit of food now. I nodded and Lirr placed a hand around my waist, leading me quietly away from Rennard.
As we approached the feast, I stumbled over my own feet and knocked into the corner of the table. Lirr grabbed me from behind and pulled me upright.
‘Have some food.’ She pushed a plate into my hand. ‘It will help.’
‘I don’t think anything will help.’ I blew out a breath, head as light as the breeze. ‘I don’t feel well.’
‘Food.’ She nudged me forward and I reluctantly filled my plate with warm bread, sliced ham, crumbling cheese and vibrant fruit. Lirr picked up a small nut-filled tart and dropped it onto my plate. I didn’t argue, even though sweets were the last thing I wanted right now. She led me to a seat at an empty table.
‘Eat and rest for a moment. Make sure you stay clear of Rennard tonight and avoid being on your own whenever possible.’
‘You’re not staying?’ I looked up at her, a shade of grey in a garden of colourful flowers.
‘I just came to pay my respects.’ Lirr tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I have an errand to run in town.’
I nodded and held the bread up to my nose. The smell sent a wave of sickness rolling through me and I dropped it.
‘Do you have any friends here?’
I sighed, rolling my neck slowly. ‘Yes.’ I hoped it was true. Shae had to be here, or all this was for nothing.
‘Make sure you find them and don’t leave their side.’ Lirr’s tone was like mine when I spoke to Elias on the nights he was drunk.
I eyed her. ‘Do you really think he’d cross a line?’
Lirr pursed her lips and looked around.
‘Has he before?’ My stomach sank. What if the past female Shadows had endured more than I realised? I felt an ache for them in my chest. Rennard would suffer a lot more than a black eye if he ever tried to touch me like that. But hadn’t he almost done so, just now? And what did I do? Just stood there and let it happen. The old Kaylan would have smacked his hand away and spat a warning in his face.
Where had she gone?
‘He’s not the same,’ Lirr said finally.
‘What do you mean?’
‘He’s always been stubborn and determined and often lacking sympathy.’ She spoke softly and shuffled a few steps closer. ‘But the stresses of late have changed him. He’s drinking more and taking his fear and anger out on those around
him.’
‘Because of Bellamy?’
The name fell out of my mouth and the look on Lirr’s face burrowed deep into my gut. I grimaced. ‘Sorry.’
‘You can’t say that name,’ Lirr said. ‘You can’t even know it, do you understand?’
‘But Rennard told me himself. He’s been using me to help find Bellamy.’
‘You?’ The look of surprise on her face was genuine. ‘How?’
A hand crashed onto my shoulder.
My head snapped up to see Rennard, peering down at me with black eyes, his mouth wide open in a silent scream. And then another hand, softer, on my leg.
‘Kaylan?’
I looked to Lirr. The second I saw her eyes, I knew that he wasn’t really there. When I turned back, as suspected, he was gone. Nothing but air behind me. Rennard remained in the gazebo with Jesper, who was now sitting on his lap.
I blew out a breath and pressed my face into my hands. ‘I think I’m going mad.’
Lirr placed a hand on my back and rubbed gently. ‘Hallucinations aren’t all that uncommon in Shadows.’
Blood rushed to my head, heat pooling in my nose and eyes. ‘What even is the Relic? Why is it doing this? Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or if I’m awake, because the things I see confuse me.’
The heat was unbearable. I fanned myself with my hand to no avail, before hiking up my dress under the table. The soft breeze tickled my skin, the sweat on my legs glistening.
‘What do you see?’
‘It changes.’ I sighed, closing my eyes as each moment flashed into my mind. ‘Dark figures and black eyes. Blood on my pillow, sometimes dead animals. It only lasts a second and I always know it’s not real, but it gets me every time.’
‘When did this start?’
‘A few days ago.’
‘Your fears brought to life,’ Lirr muttered. ‘Another defence mechanism of the Relic is to weaken you mentally.’
I laughed bitterly. ‘I’d like to have a stern word with whoever created the Relics.’
Lirr looked around and shifted to the edge of her seat. ‘I should go. But Kaylan …’ I looked up at her. ‘Find your friends.’
‘Looks like they found me,’ I remarked, spotting Markus approaching with a smile on his face. Lirr glanced over her shoulder. If she said something to him, he would know I was the Shadow. ‘Go. I’ll be fine.’
Jesper was right. I had to tell him, and soon. This was a dangerous game.
But it was too late.
‘Lirr.’ Markus nodded as she stood. He leaned in to kiss her cheek. ‘You’re not leaving us, are you?’
‘I’m afraid so, Markus.’ Lirr was all business again.
‘You have more important things to do.’ I stood as well. ‘Thank you for keeping me company.’
‘Alright,’ Lirr said slowly. ‘But remember what I said. Head down.’
I could have breathed a sigh of relief when she left without saying my name.
When Lirr was out of earshot, I sat back down to revel in my luck. Markus took a seat, grabbed one of the perfect strawberries from my plate and popped it into his mouth.
His floppy hair was tied back into a small bun at the base of his skull, showing off his strong jaw. Despite the mess of his costume, I noticed the glitter of his necklace: the A had returned. Covered in blood, mud and mess, he somehow still looked noble.
He is.
‘What do you know,’ Markus began with a mouth full of crushed red. I readied myself for some comment on my looks, or the fact that I had been manipulated into coming tonight. ‘The crops are the best they’ve been in years.’ He playfully snatched another strawberry and bit into it slowly. ‘So sweet.’
I reached for one and took a small bite, testing my stomach. When nothing happened, I bit again. Markus polished off another before resting back in his seat. ‘I’m glad you came,’ he said with a smile. ‘It will mean a lot to Jesper.’
‘Just Jesper?’ I teased.
A different smile broke on his face, bigger than the last. My gut twisted, remembering that this wouldn’t end well. I had to tell him tonight. I had promised Jesper. But was tonight the right time?
Maybe there wasn’t a right time to tell someone that you were a liar. A dying liar.
His hand was just a few inches from mine. ‘I know a dead man has no right to dance with a lady, but indulge me.’ He nodded toward the couples dancing.
In this state, I was sure to be on my arse within seconds. I didn’t want to embarrass myself or Markus. Then again, I didn’t want to make a fuss by refusing.
I brought my hand up to his slowly, warmth spreading through my skin as his fingers curled around mine. As he pulled me to my feet, my dress slid down my legs and, briefly, the thought of his hands trailing down my thighs as gently as the silk flooded my mind. I squashed the daydream as quickly as it appeared.
Markus led me over to where other guests were dancing. The music was unfamiliar, as was the dance. He saw my expression and laughed.
‘Don’t worry. We’ll take it slow.’
He held up his right hand and I touched mine to his. I looked at the other dancing guests around us. We followed their movements, a fraction behind. Markus kept his promise and took it slow.
‘I almost didn’t recognise you.’ His musings interrupted my concentration. I let my hand drop, unable to talk and dance at the same time, but he quickly retrieved it and moved me in a circle. ‘The dress is certainly a step up from the uniform.’
‘You should have seen me before,’ I murmured, missing the days when people didn’t care what I looked like. No one noticed a girl with dirty hair, smoky clothes and soot-blackened skin.
‘I would have liked that,’ Markus murmured as he readjusted his grip on my hands, pulling me closer. It was so slight; I guessed that he hoped I wouldn’t notice. I could feel his gaze on me, but I forced my eyes to remain on the ground, pretending to be following our feet through the complicated dance. His stare had a way of making me feel more exposed and vulnerable than the Relic. The magic bore into my body, exposing my flesh to its power. But when Markus looked at me like that, it was fear that bore into my mind. Fear of what he wanted, of what I would do to him.
What was I doing?
As we spun, I looked up too quickly and a rush of blood flew to my head. Markus grabbed my arms when I moved off course, steadying me with a chuckle.
‘It’s a fast one, I’ll give you that. Wrong dance to start on. We can wait for a slower one.’
‘What’s this?’ came a new voice.
We both turned, and a laugh burst from my chest before I could stop it. Shae, dressed in ballooning, multi-coloured pants and a baggy shirt, stood with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her lips. Her red shoes were two sizes too large and her orange headwear jingled every time she moved.
‘You’ve been here more than five minutes and you haven’t come to find your best friend?’ Shae scolded. ‘Shame on you.’
I gestured to her outfit. ‘What are you supposed to be?’
She held out her arms proudly, showing off her full costume. ‘A court fool, from the days of kings. I read about them in A History of Seven Kings and the depiction made me laugh, so I thought, why not! They were the entertainment. They would juggle, tell stories and jokes, do magic tricks, sing songs, dance. You name it!’
‘I will expect some entertainment later, then,’ I mocked. ‘Perhaps a magic trick or two.’
‘If you behave.’
I walked straight into Shae’s open arms, knocking her back a few paces. She laughed as we steadied ourselves. As I pulled away, she rubbed my arms. ‘You look stunning. Who did your hair? It certainly wasn’t you.’
I ignored her teasing. ‘A friend.’
‘Of course.’ She laughed and turned to Markus. ‘This is something new for her. The woman I used to know didn’t know what a hairbrush was. Or a bath.’
Markus laughed as I jabbed Shae in the side.
‘I miss those days,�
� I said, feeling the dress with my hand.
Then I stopped. Shae didn’t know about my lies to Markus. She didn’t know my alias was her name.
‘Insa, this is Markus,’ I said quickly.
Markus bowed his head and Shae dipped hers in response, not even pausing a beat to wonder why I referred to her by her middle name. She peeked under her lashes at me and in turn I flared my eyes at her, silently begging her to play along. I knew she would.
‘Always a pleasure to meet a Companion,’ Markus said. It was sometimes hard to remember that Shae was a Companion and I was just a servant. Her position afforded her a level of respect I would never know. Somehow Markus knew she was a Companion without being told. ‘And a friend of Shae’s.’ He smiled at me.
After a slight pause, Shae began her inquiry. ‘How do you two know each other?’ Playing along – lying – was a big part of her job. She became whoever she needed to be.
Tonight, she was Insa for me.
‘I work for Lord Rennard,’ Markus explained. ‘As Master of the Hunt.’
Shae’s eyebrows shot up. ‘How incredible!’
Both Markus and I shared in a surprised look. ‘What’s incredible?’ I asked. ‘His job?’
‘No, that you’ve somehow managed to make such a high-ranking friend.’ Shae laughed, winking at me. ‘He’s well above your circle.’
I feigned a laugh and wrapped an arm around Shae’s shoulders. ‘Well above me, huh?’ I teased, acutely aware of Markus’ appraising gaze. ‘If that’s the case, why are you still my friend?’
‘You know me,’ Shae shrugged.
‘Never following the rules of polite society?’ I teased.
‘You’re one to talk.’ She turned to Markus. ‘The things I could tell you –’
Markus stepped forward, a curious glint in his eyes. ‘Do tell.’
‘Alright.’ I placed a hand on his chest and one on Shae’s shoulder. ‘We’ve entered dangerous territory.’
‘The best kind,’ Shae chuckled.
My hand was still on Markus’ chest; I only realised when he placed his hand on my shoulder. I pulled back and Markus followed suit almost immediately. I wanted to ignore the way my skin felt cold and empty.