by Bronwyn Eley
‘I could fight so this never has to happen again,’ I seethed. My entire body was shaking now. I wanted to tell Keithan what I was doing and what I knew. If Bellamy achieved his goals, whatever they were, maybe I could be the last Shadow.
‘You can’t stop this cycle,’ he said. ‘I wish there was a way.’
‘And if there was?’ I glanced behind me. The door was shut, but that didn’t mean we were alone. ‘Would you help?’
Keithan’s brow furrowed in confusion. ‘It seems you know something I don’t, Kaylan. Care to share?’
If he knew what was going on with Bellamy, what would he do? Maybe there was a way to test how he’d react.
‘I’m not sure what I know,’ I began. ‘Have you heard of a Nobleman named Garet?’
Keithan stopped drumming his fingers on the table. ‘You’ll have to be more specific.’
‘When I was at Rennard’s assembly just before, there was a foreign delegate named Garet. He had hair the colour of fire,’ I explained.
‘Do you mean Garet De Winter?’
I paused, the name ringing in my ears. That first meeting Rennard had with his Noblemen – he had mentioned the De Winter problem. ‘I’m not sure. Probably.’
Keithan closed his book. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘What do you know about him?’ I pressed.
‘If we’re thinking of the same man, Nobleman De Winter is Lord Dreu’s main envoy.’
Lord Dreu was our closest neighbour, both physically and professionally. The capital of Drellnar was our closest port city.
‘Do you know much about his brother, Bellamy?’
‘I didn’t know he had one,’ Keithan admitted. ‘So no, I don’t. What’s got you interested in our foreign envoy?’
‘I’ve heard things,’ I began quietly. ‘Seen things, in my position. Rennard’s under attack. All the Lords are.’
Keithan sat back suddenly, frowning. ‘How do you mean?’
‘This man, Bellamy, is leading a rebellion against the Lords.’
Keithan erupted in laughter. He shook his head. ‘Then he’s insane. There’s no way he’ll win.’
‘He has a following,’ I said loudly, almost forgetting the sensitivity of the information. If Rennard found out I had told Keithan … I shook the thought away. ‘One big enough to have Rennard shaking in his boots.’
Keithan’s laughter died. ‘Who is this man?’
‘If you’re right, he’s Garet De Winter’s brother. Nobleman of Drellnar. Someone Rennard knows personally.’
Keithan massaged his chin. ‘How big is his following?’
‘I don’t know numbers,’ I sighed. ‘But Rennard has changed lately. He’s angry and violent. Honestly, it’s not the Relic I’m afraid of anymore.’
‘Why exactly are you telling me this?’ Keithan asked. ‘If Rennard finds out –’
‘Maybe it’ll be worth it.’
‘Worth the lives of your family?’ he countered.
‘What about their families? The ones before me. The ones after. Do they matter any less?’
The words were hard to say. My family did nothing to deserve Rennard’s wrath, and I would put myself through a thousand types of torture before letting anything happen to them.
‘My youngest brother is nine,’ I muttered. ‘He could be assigned here one day. There’s no way of knowing. It could be one of his friends. His future wife. His son. Our other brothers. Our mother.’
Keithan was very still.
‘Maybe it can end with me, Keithan. Maybe I could be the last. Bellamy’s taken up the fight. I don’t know if he’s going about it the right way. I don’t know what his motives are. But maybe –’ I lost my breath, throat thick, eyes wet. ‘Maybe I could be the last.’
‘What of the cost to get there?’ Keithan demanded. ‘The lives that will be lost in this fight? It won’t just be the bad ones who fall, Kaylan. If Bellamy comes for Rennard, Jesper will likely be killed too. Maybe everyone in this castle. Guards with families. Anyone who opposes Bellamy –’
He sighed.
‘Yes. It would be worth it, I think, if you knew what kind of man Bellamy was. Men willing to start wars ...’ Another sigh. ‘If he wants them gone, he’ll start with their extended families. Noblemen of Drellnar. Likely close acquaintances of Lord Dreu.’
His eyes were far away again, as if solving a problem.
‘Lord Dreu has two adult children. Five grandchildren. A sister and a brother, both with children of their own. That’s a lot of innocent blood between him and victory. And that’s just one bloodline.’
What little food I had eaten earlier threatened to reappear.
‘No one is perfect,’ Keithan said slowly. ‘No rule is perfect. I don’t know this Bellamy, but a man willing to kill children –’ He shook his head. ‘The only way to remove the Lords would be to take their power, and it can only be done one way. I’m sorry, Kaylan. I don’t think anything will come of this. Even if Bellamy manages to thin the bloodlines, he won’t get close enough to finish Rennard. Not unless he has some very well-placed help.’
‘What if he does?’
Keithan’s jaw tightened. ‘Kaylan,’ he warned. ‘If you –’
Lie. I shook my head. ‘But what if he did? What if, for the first time in decades, a Relic changed hands?’
Keithan let out a long breath. ‘That would be an interesting day. I just hope that if it does come to pass, your man Bellamy isn’t more monstrous than those already in power.’ He frowned. ‘Think of the mess he’ll make. I’m not just talking about deaths here, Kaylan. If Rennard fell, what would happen to this city? To all his land? When power changes hands, things get messy. Last time it happened, thousands died needlessly.’
He was talking about the Surge: the war that ignited after the first Relic was found. When the royal family was slaughtered and five new rulers emerged from the fight.
‘There’s no easy future,’ I admitted. ‘Maybe the one we have now is stable, but what if Bellamy’s reasons –’
‘Justify mass murder?’ Keithan held my stare. ‘They would have to be very good reasons.’
‘I’m not saying I support what’s going on. But it’s already happening. We have to consider that changes might come to pass. What then? Whose side will we be on?’
‘Right now, there’s only one side.’ Keithan reached across the table and snatched up the book I had brought him. He tisked when he realised one of the pages was folded and smoothed it out. ‘I don’t have to like Lord Rennard, but he’s my ruler.’
I nodded silently and turned for the door. What had I hoped for? That Keithan would be excited? Bellamy’s actions threatened this whole city. If Rennard ever did fall, he wouldn’t be the only one to lose everything.
‘Kaylan,’ Keithan called. ‘Whatever you plan on doing –’ His eyes flicked to my pocket, as if he could see the note within. ‘Just remember you’re not making it out of here alive.’
Chapter 23
There were many quiet corners in the castle. This one, I hadn’t yet been to. Tucked away in the far east corner was a long, straight hallway. None of the rooms along it were frequented, or so I’d been told. At the end of the hallway was a window that overlooked part of the garden and, in the distance, the tops of Noblemen’s houses.
I stood at the window and located the loose stone in the frame. It wasn’t exactly an elaborate hiding spot, but it was where I was told to leave any information.
The stone came loose easily and I slipped the note in the gap, then shoved the dislodged stone back in place. Job done, I let out a quiet breath and leaned against the windowsill, scalding forehead pressed to the cool glass.
A shimmer of yellow caught my eye and I looked down to the gardens below. It was Jesper, barefoot in a soft yellow dress.
She walked slowly, with an obvious limp to her gait. She hobbled to a nearby bench and lowered herself carefully onto it. I wanted to go out to her, to ask why she was hurt, but I knew I couldn’t. There was still a d
ivide between us. Her husband would not take kindly to his servant and his wife becoming friends. Besides, I had one more thing to do before I left this hallway.
I looked around at my options. There were three closed doors; I wasn’t sure what was beyond any of them. The second door on the left would have the best vantage point if left slightly ajar.
Slowly, I pushed it open. The room beyond was filled with forgotten furniture. Perfect. I hurried inside and pulled the door toward me, leaving a sliver of space to see through.
Bex hadn’t wanted to reveal his sources inside the castle, but I wanted to know who I could trust if the time came for Rennard’s undoing. I knew I couldn’t wait here all day. Rennard was absent – down in the dungeons with Thorn again – but I knew I had no more than a few hours before he came looking to see if my chores were done.
My stomach clenched painfully, giving barely any warning before I unloaded the contents of my stomach onto the floor beside me. When I had no more to give, I held myself still while my insides settled, blinking back tears.
About an hour of sitting quietly on a dusty chair passed before I heard someone approaching. Bex had said the drop spots would be checked every day in case I had information. It looked like I had got lucky.
Treading as quietly as possible, I moved to the door and peeked out. I had been expecting another servant – someone with a likely cause to hate Rennard – so the sight of a guard’s stately uniform came as a surprise.
He was a large man with broad shoulders and a full head of dark-brown hair. I noticed an angry red scar on the side of his nose, but apart from that, he was rather nondescript. There were dozens of guards in and out of here on a daily basis. Most I never noticed, but this one I had seen before.
The one time I had seen Jesper leaving the castle grounds, it was with this man.
Did she know his loyalties lay with Bellamy and not her husband? That he supported a man who would likely kill Jesper without bothering to ask if she deserved it?
The thought made me sick with myself. If I really believed that, then why was I flirting with the idea of helping Bellamy?
The guard slipped my note out and read it quickly, before tucking it into his pocket.
Then he was gone, and the hallway was as quiet as if he had never been there.
The next two weeks were, gratefully, uneventful. I now added Keithan to the list of people I was avoiding – difficult, since Rennard was reading more and more now.
It surprised me that Rennard was able to turn colder than he already had been. He barely acknowledged me, let alone spoke. He used simple sentences, and now more than ever I felt like his Shadow. I had become no one to him; just a dark, quiet form following him around and doing whatever he told me to do.
The first morning I turned up in the dining hall to find it empty, I knew something was wrong. I ended up finding Rennard still in bed, curtains wide open, staring into the harsh sunlight as if he expected someone to crash through the window at any moment. Maybe he did.
What confused me most was the pang of sympathy I felt. To see him so small and weak didn’t bring me the pleasure I would have expected. Instead, I felt a spasm of hate toward Bellamy. Everything that was happening – every mood swing, every unkind word and fearful moment – was because of Bellamy. He thought he was fighting Rennard and the other Lords, but didn’t he realise what he was doing to the people around them?
I began to doubt my actions. I only passed on one more piece of useful information to Bex: an update on Rennard’s action plan regarding the search for Bellamy. I was lucky enough to be privy to a conversation he had with Thorn about personnel deployment. I didn’t bother to stick around and watch the collection this time. I had seen the guard a few days after he took my note and carefully followed him for a while. One of the other guards called him Anders.
I wanted to ask Jesper about him but refrained. She had treated me differently ever since I left in a huff that day in the gardens. But I knew it wasn’t just about our argument. Jesper, too, had lost any spirit I had once seen. She slept separately to Rennard, for obvious reasons, so it surprised me one morning, when I went to retrieve Rennard from his bed after another sleepless night, to find Jesper curled up beside him.
She wasn’t asleep. She sat up as soon as I entered, hurrying to the other side of the room and pulling on her robe to cover her exposed skin.
Rennard never looked me in the eye when I came to his room. He never told me off, either. He wasn’t embarrassed to be seen this way, not by someone who would be dead soon.
The pair barely spoke at meals. Rennard spent most of his time with Thorn and his guards; his daily rides were now infrequent. Jesper spent most of her time alone in the gardens or in her room. She had an attendant, a stick-thin girl of seventeen who kept her distance as much as possible. With Jesper spending so much time here now, Rennard had pulled the girl from whatever job she had been previously doing. She tried to speak to me at first, but I didn’t know what to say to her. She soon became as silent as the rest of us.
From the very beginning I knew I wouldn’t survive this place, but the reality of it was finally crushing down on me. Part of me was glad for Rennard’s dark mood and Jesper’s distance, because it meant I didn’t have to pretend. The castle had become a sorry sight, plagued by whatever terror Bellamy was unleashing on Rennard. He never spoke of the details in front of me. He never asked me to go back into the Slip or to see Mr Alarn, who I hoped was home safe with Layla by now. Rennard simply existed in a strange state of anger, fear and sullenness. He never let the fear show in public. I guessed I was the only person, bar Jesper and her girl, who ever saw him so dishevelled.
The Grand Hall was spotted with dull faces. I took my usual position to the right of Rennard’s chair, just behind. Jesper didn’t look at me. She simply stared ahead, swaying slightly, resting against the side of Rennard’s chair.
I stood silently and waited, wondering why the assembly had been called. It wasn’t long before my head began to ache. I closed my eyes.
The doors strained open and Thorn entered the hall, dragging someone behind him – a tall boy. As they came closer, my body jerked backward as if I’d been stabbed in the gut.
The boy was Elias.
I shot a look to Rennard, but his attention was fixed on his next victim. I watched as Thorn pushed my brother forward. He kept his balance and came to a stop, straightening his posture.
My eyes screamed for Elias, but his attention didn’t move away from the powerful man before him. His steady gaze and high head told me he wasn’t afraid.
Even so, his eyes flicked to the Relic.
‘When Captain Thorn informed me that a young man from the lower town had damaged my personal property trying to enter the castle, I pictured someone very different,’ Rennard’s calm voice began. ‘What is your age, boy?’
Elias’ infamous stubbornness won over his minimal common sense. I willed him to answer the question. My eyes shot to Thorn, standing by the door with clenched fists. I was surprised by his patience, waiting for the moment he unleashed his temper.
As the silence grew, I knew I had to step in.
‘He’s sixteen, my lord.’ My voice was weak in the large room and I was shaking. I just hoped no one else could tell.
Rennard twisted in his chair, excited eyes finding me. His eyebrows rose and a smile tugged at the side of his mouth. It was the most life I had seen in him in weeks.
‘You know him?’
My hands became fists.
‘He’s my brother,’ I said through clenched teeth.
Too much silence passed before his response. Markus had said that the Relic fed on already present emotions. Rennard was angry and afraid. Would he take that out on my brother?
‘Well, how about that?’ Rennard turned to face Elias. He sat back and crossed his legs, laying his arms gently on the armrests. ‘An unexpected family reunion. I bet you’re glad to see your sister.’
Elias’ gaze didn’t let up.
Rennard chuckled. ‘Tell me about your brother, Kaylan.’ His eyes were still fixed on Elias. I felt all the other eyes in the room turn to me.
‘Elias is a scullion,’ I began, catching my brother’s gaze as he finally looked my way. He lifted his chin and set his jaw. I felt my throat tighten further and pushed the words out as best I could. ‘He gets into a lot of trouble.’
What have you done?
‘I can imagine,’ Rennard said darkly. ‘You know, Elias, you remind me of my older brother.’ He paused. ‘Tomlin was his name.’
Shaking his head, he rose from his chair. I tensed and shifted forward a step – only a step. Thorn’s attention had passed to me the moment I declared Elias my kin.
‘Do you know much about my father, Elias?’ Rennard obviously didn’t expect an answer, not even pausing before continuing. ‘He was strict on his sons, but fair. In my eyes, at least. I wasn’t nearly as bad as Tomlin. He was always putting Father’s patience to the test.’
Rennard took a few steps toward my brother. My chest heaved, pulling in as much air as possible, but it didn’t calm me any. ‘I remember this one day. Tomlin had upset Father – I forget how, exactly – and I don’t know what happened behind those doors, but I do remember hearing nothing.’
Elias’ jaw clenched as Rennard continued forward. The whole room was silent. My pounding head subsided as Rennard moved further from me.
For once, I longed for him to come back.
Elias’ hands began to shake.
‘Tomlin was never the same after that one particularly quiet afternoon.’ A smile touched Rennard’s lips, as dark as the words that crawled from his mouth, like a creature from a cave. As Rennard reached my brother, he moved around him slowly. Circling. His hand outstretched, threatening.
I didn’t even have time to react as Rennard’s hand came down on Elias’ shoulder. It was so light a touch, but Elias collapsed as if he’d been run through. Hands over his eyes, my brother wailed, horrid, unfamiliar sounds escaping his throat. I took a step, but Thorn moved abruptly, fists clenched, body taut, eyes wide and threatening. It was enough to stop me.