by Roxie Noir
The thought offered absolutely no comfort. He didn’t even want to fuck anyone else.
I’m ruined, he realized. She’s going to reject me but she’s still going to be the only one I’ll ever want.
Seven more minutes.
Finally, he forced himself to go back upstairs and hear Leah’s verdict. As he opened the hotel room, he felt nothing but total dread.
What if she wasn’t even there?
But then he saw her, standing by the window, wearing the same brilliant blue dress she’d worn to her engagement party.
She’s gorgeous even though she’s about to break my heart, Nathan thought, and Leah turned her head to look at him.
“I’m back,” he said, saying the only thing he could think of.
“Good,” she said. “We’re almost late. Come zip my dress up, I can’t reach.”
Obediently, Nathan crossed the room. For the first time, he dared to hope.
Leah didn’t say anything until she turned around and gave him a long, hard look from head to toe, her face critical.
“Aren’t you going to change?” she asked.
“Why?”
“You can’t get married in a t-shirt and jeans,” Leah said, matter-of-factly.
24
Leah
In the bathroom, trying in vain to do something to her hair, Leah wasn’t certain that she wasn’t making a huge mistake. After all, hadn’t he just told her that he was capable of doing terrible things to other people? Hadn’t he just admitted that he’d caused pain and suffering to plenty of people?
He’s not a bad person, she reminded herself.
No matter what happened, she couldn’t believe that he was. When she looked at him, she saw goodness shining out. Maybe she was the only one who could see it, she thought.
Maybe it’s because I didn’t meet him earlier, she thought. But whose fault is that?
Around her neck, Leah wore a thin, delicate gold necklace. It had four small gold beads on it, hanging perfectly in the hollow of her throat, and she touched it once, a little afraid that she might break it.
Her mother had given it to her for her to wear at her wedding. It had been intended for her wedding to Ian, of course, but that wasn’t the wedding she was going to have.
She’d wear it at her wedding, like her mother had, and like her grandmother had. It had been saved for her, being the oldest, even though she had two married younger sisters.
For a moment, Leah felt a pang of sadness that her mother and her sisters weren’t there with her.
It’s the happiest day of my life, and it’s going to be me, and Nathan, and a couple of strangers in a chapel, she thought, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from welling with tears.
But you’ve got the most important part, she reminded herself. You’ve got your mate.
Just thinking it made something in her heart swell.
I’ve got my mate, she reminded herself, then knocked on the inside of the bathroom door.
“Are you decent?” she called.
“I’m never decent,” Nathan called back.
Leah rolled her eyes and opened the door.
“Is this what I’m getting myself into?” she asked, teasing him. “Stupid jokes for the rest of my life?”
He wore gray slacks and a long sleeve, plaid, button down shirt.
“I don’t actually own a suit,” he said, apologetically. “And I ripped up my other nice outfit when I shifted at your... party.”
Leah just laughed. “Roll up your sleeves,” she said. “You may as well go full lumberjack for the wedding,” she said.
Nathan raised one eyebrow.
“Besides, I think your forearms are sexy,” she said, feeling the heat creep into her face even as she said that.
I don’t think I’ll ever master dirty talk, she thought. Not if I can’t handle ‘Your forearms are sexy.’
In a flash, Nathan’s sleeves were rolled up and he was ready to go.
“All right,” he said. “Are you ready?”
Leah nodded, but then put her arm on his.
“Wait,” she said. “I just want to say something.”
Nathan waited, taking her hand in his.
“It’s not okay that you nearly killed a girl,” she said. “And I thought really hard about leaving, just now, when you were gone. I almost did.”
She swallowed.
“But I don’t think you’re a bad person,” she said. “You did a bad thing, and now you wish you hadn’t. I think that’s all I can ask for, in the end.”
Nathan squeezed her hand.
“I wish that every day,” he said.
“Let’s go get married,” Leah said.
The justice of the peace was waiting for them outside the door of the chapel, two rose corsages in his hand.
“You must be the happy couple,” he said, smiling.
“That’s us,” said Nathan.
As he pinned the corsages onto them, he spoke.
“The ceremony will be fairly short,” he said. “No religious stuff, no frills, as long as that’s fine with you. Most people just want to get married.”
“That’s us,” said Leah, blushing as the justice of the peace pinned her corsage to her chest. He didn’t even touch her, but she was still a little embarrassed by it.
How am I ever going to manage sex? She wondered, feeling a little desperate.
“Who are your witnesses?” he asked as he finished pinning.
Leah and Nathan looked at each other.
“I forgot that part,” Nathan said, apologetically.
The justice pointed at the casino floor, only about fifty feet away.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “This comes up all the time. People love to witness a wedding.”
“We’ll just grab someone and be right back,” Leah said, grabbing Nathan’s hand and walking toward the floor.
The first people she saw were two older women, gossiping with each other on the casino floor. They both had lanyards around their necks, casino membership cards hanging from them.
As Leah and Nathan approached, they stopped talking and looked up.
“Hi,” Leah said. “We’re getting married in the chapel, and we were wondering if you’d be our witnesses?”
The woman on the right, who wore a pink shirt and had reading glasses on a chain around her neck, clapped both hands over her heart.
“Are you eloping?” she said.
“Yes ma’am,” Leah said, not certain what the reaction would be.
“That’s so romantic!” the woman said.
“What?” asked the other woman, her gray hair back in a severe bun.
“THEY’RE ELOPING, PHYLLIS,” shouted the first woman.
“Oh, you poor thing,” said Phyllis, a bit loudly. “You look lovely!”
“Thank you!” said Leah at top volume.
Then she noticed that the first woman was giving Nathan a pretty good once-over.
“If I were forty years younger I’d show you how to elope properly,” she said, winking at Nathan.
Leah and Nathan looked at each other. Neither had any idea how to respond.
“Thank you,” said Nathan, a bit formally.
“What?” asked Phyllis.
“I THINK HE’S A HUNK,” shouted the first woman.
Leah felt like they were getting nowhere. Then, a man came up behind them. He looked very Alaskan: jeans, a camouflage t-shirt, suspenders, and a gray beard.
“You’re getting married?” he asked.
“Yes,” said Leah, hoping she could get this back under control. “We need witnesses.”
The man smiled and pointed at Leah, then winked.
“Hold that thought,” he said, and walked away quickly.
“So, would you mind being our witnesses?” she asked the two old ladies.
“Of course, dear—”
Phyllis was interrupted by the PA system crackling on over the whole casino floor.
“Everybody listen up,” said the
man’s voice. “You all remember that sweet girl who told off that asshole an hour ago? She’s gettin’ married, and she needs a couple of witnesses.”
Suddenly, everyone on the casino floor was looking at Leah and Nathan.
“Please raise your hand if you’d like to help these two lovebirds out,” the man’s voice said.
Every hand in the casino went up.
“We’ll need a change of venue,” the justice of the peace said, coming up behind them.
Fifteen minutes later, everything was sorted. The crowd had formed an aisle between the rows of blackjack tables, and everyone stood alongside it, with Nathan at one end, next to the justice of the peace. Someone had cued up something classical on a Walkman and was holding it up to the microphone of the PA system.
Leah stood in the women’s bathroom, two old ladies fussing with her hair. It didn’t look any better, but she felt like she might cry with gratitude. Could these two women possibly know that they were doing more for her than her own family?
“All right, dear,” one of them said. Leah hadn’t even gotten her name. “Ready?”
Leah just nodded, afraid she’d cry if she said anything.
The other woman opened the door to the ladies’ bathroom, and Leah looked out, down the aisle that the throng of people had made for her.
She thought her heart might just beat out of her chest as she started walking.
There was Nathan, grinning. It was the happiest she’d ever seen him look.
Right away, Leah felt better.
It’s going to be okay, she thought. For the first time since they’d run away, she felt like it was true.
It felt like she was walking on clouds, even as she walked between old people at poker tables, all of them watching.
Then, when she reached Nathan, they started applauding.
He reached for her hands and bent down to kiss her.
“Not yet!” a lady shouted from the crowd, and everyone laughed.
Chastised, Nathan straightened up.
“Ladies and gentlemen, today I present to you Mr. Nathan Kamchatka and Miss Leah Whitehorse, here of their own free will, to be joined in matrimony before us.”
Nathan squeezed her hands and Leah almost laughed. She felt giddy with happiness.
“If anyone knows a reason that these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Dead silence.
“That’s what I like to hear,” the justice of the peace said. “Shall we get to the good part?”
The room erupted in cheers.
“Do you, Nathan, take Leah to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage?”
“I do,” Nathan said. He rubbed his thumb across the back of Leah’s hand.
“Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” he said.
“And do you, Leah, take Nathan to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in marriage?”
She swallowed.
“I do,” she said quietly.
Nathan rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb again.
“And do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” she said.
Someone in the crowd cheered, only to be hushed immediately.
“By the power vested in me by the state of Alaska, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the justice of the peace announced.
The crowd erupted into cheers, and Leah felt like her heart might burst.
“You may now kiss the bride,” the justice said.
Nathan leaned down, and the noise of the rambunctious crowd faded to a dull roar in Leah’s ears as she raised herself on her tiptoes.
Their lips met, and there was nothing else in the world. Leah felt like she and Nathan were alone, together, in a cocoon of their love, like no one else was watching.
He deepened the kiss, sliding one hand around her back and pulling her body closer into his. Leah put her arms around his shoulders, holding on for dear life, feeling almost dizzy.
“Save it for tonight!” someone in the crowd yelled, and everyone laughed, even Nathan and Leah. They pulled apart, and then Nathan reached for her hand.
As they walked back down the aisle, people showered them with torn up bits of paper like confetti, the cheering only getting louder and louder.
“Where are we going?” Leah shouted, squeezing Nathan’s hand.
“Our room, of course!” Nathan shouted back over the din.
They reached the elevators, and he hit the button.
Then he bent down, and before Leah knew what was happening, he scooped her up in his arms like she weighed nothing.
The crowd went even more nuts.
Then the elevator doors opened and he carried her inside.
25
Nathan
As he carried his bride down the hallway, Nathan felt like every millimeter of his skin was hyper-sensitized, like he was about to burst out of his own body.
She’s mine, he thought. She’s really and truly mine.
The thought was going to take some getting used to.
In the room, he tossed her onto the bed, and she shrieked, giggling at the same time.
“You’ve got to be gentle with me, Nathan,” she said. “I’m your wife now.”
Nathan couldn’t do anything but laugh, he was so happy.
He bent over the bed again and kissed her hard, feeling her body with his, all softness and yielding flesh, driving him out of his mind with crazy lust.
His bear was roaring harder than it ever had before, completely desperate to mark her, to make her his even more than he already had. Nathan wanted to bury himself in Leah, get sweaty and naked again and again until neither of them could move.
Under him, Leah stiffened, and he came back to his senses for a moment.
Remember how she’s never even been to second base before?
Even though every muscle in body protested, he lifted himself off of her.
With one hand, he played with a curl.
“Go ahead,” she whispered. “I’m ready.”
“You’re shaking like a leaf,” he said.
“It’s okay.”
Nathan shook his head. “Not like this,” he said.
Her chest rose and fell against her blue dress, the motion utterly mesmerizing, awakening something deep and primal in Nathan that he’d never felt before.
“How about this,” he said. “I’ll stand here, and you can do whatever you want to me. I promise not to touch you until you’re completely ready.”
Leah stared for a moment.
Then she nodded.
Slowly, reluctantly, Nathan stood. He had an inkling that this might be the hardest thing he’d ever done — letting her touch him without touching her at all. Without letting his bear take over and tossing control to the wind.
Deep inside, he trembled, but he stood firm.
Leah stood and looked at him. She seemed more than a little nervous, but then, very gently, she unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, fingers shaking a little.
“I don’t bite,” Nathan said, trying to keep it light, even as it took all his self-control not to throw her back on the bed. “Not unless you ask nicely.”
That got a laugh as Leah undid the second button, then the third button and the fourth. When she reached his pants, she pulled the shirt out and undid the last button, then slid her hands inside, along his stomach.
Nathan suppressed a groan, his breathing getting shallow. Her touch sent little zaps of electricity over his skin, and he trembled as he forced himself to remain perfectly still.
There was nothing he could do about his cock, though. That had stiffened the moment that he’d opened the door to their room and still stood at attention, its entire length aching a
nd rock hard.
Leah traced the muscles on his stomach with one finger, slowly making her way up his chest, over all his hard muscle until she reached his shoulders.
“Can I take your shirt off?” she asked softly.
“You can do anything you want,” he said.
Carefully, she slid his shirt off of his shoulders. Nathan heard it hit the ground behind him with a soft whump as Leah ran her hands over his arms and shoulders, biting her lip as she did.
Then she stood on her tiptoes and, very carefully, pressed her lips to one shoulder. Her body brushed up against his cock, softly, and Nathan nearly moaned out loud, even at that tiny touch.
Nathan squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, forcing himself not to move, not even to put a hand on her back.
Nothing unless she tells you to, he told himself yet again.
It was nearly impossible, but he managed.
Her lips, hot and soft, moved along his collarbone slowly, almost shyly, followed by Leah’s finger.
Then she looked up at him, questioningly.
“Do you like that?” she whispered.
“Yes,” Nathan whispered back.
She smiled, running her hands down his torso again. A shiver of pure desire ran down Nathan’s spine, and her fingertips brushed against his belt, looking at the impressive tent in his pants.
“Sorry,” Nathan said. “I can’t control quite everything.”
To his surprise, Leah looked up at him and smiled. He could sense the wild thing, deep inside her, threatening to come to the surface, and he dug his nails into his palms.
“Don’t apologize,” she said, sounding half-shy and half-coy.
Then her fingers moved lower, just barely grazing the tip of his cock through the material of his pants.
Nathan exhaled hard, fighting to maintain control.
Don’t you dare cum in your pants, he told himself. Don’t you DARE.
Her fingers moved down the shaft, toward the root, and Nathan forced himself to remain completely still.
As she moved her hands up, she pressed her hand against it harder.
You promised, Nathan told himself.