by Roxie Noir
Jake shook his head, bringing himself back to reality. He hadn’t shifted for four or five days now, and he was starting to feel the itch already, the feeling that he desperately, desperately needed to change, if only for a little while.
He knew that if he didn’t change voluntarily in the next few days, he wouldn’t get to decide when or where he changed. It would just happen wherever he was, whether he was driving or eating or even just watching TV in his house.
The involuntary changes were bad. They hurt because they were much, much faster than regular changes, and he couldn’t control when he changed out of them. Every teenage shifter experimented, of course, seeing how long they could go without shifting, what would happen when they did. Brock, the alpha of his former pack, had encouraged it, saying that every shifter needed to know their limits, how they reacted to a forced shift.
Jake knew that he reacted pretty poorly.
As a teenager, he’d never made it past seven days. He was sure he could make it longer now, as a grown man with more self-control, but when he had finally shifted as a teenager, he’d gone so crazy that he chased down and killed three deer, smearing himself with their blood and effluvia, barely eating them, before uprooting a small clearing’s worth of trees.
There hadn’t been any humans around, thank God, but Jake knew for a fact that he’d have killed them. When he had to change, he didn’t have any control over himself, and that frightened him more than having to fight ten alpha grizzlies.
Jake passed a brown sign on the side of the road and realized he wasn’t far from Rasar State Park, where the grizzly had killed a camper. He hadn’t realized that he’d driven that far west, but now that he was here, he figured he should at least check out the crime scene, go offer his Forest Ranger professional opinion.
He’d also sniff around some, literally. If Violet had been there, he’d know it.
“This is it,” said the campground host, a retired lady probably in her seventies. “God, how awful.”
The tent lay in tatters, still on the ground. The body had been taken away, of course, but the sleeping bag and sleeping pad were still someone in the mess that had been a tent. A camp stove still sat on the picnic table, next to a lantern.
Predictably, there was blood everywhere: the tent, the ground, even a little sprayed onto the trees.
“Did you hear anything?” he asked her.
The woman shook her head. “I’m too far away. Some of the other campers heard screaming and came, but they couldn’t do anything. The campers were long dead by the time the ambulance got here.”
Jake nodded.
“Did any of the witnesses describe the bear?” he asked.
The campground host shrugged. “It was dark, and they were all in shock for a little while,” she said. “A couple of them swore up and down that it was a grizzly, but we’ve got no idea if that’s accurate. It was late at night and dark, so no one really got a good look. My guess is, we’re dealing with a rabid black bear. I don’t know what else would make one attack people like this.”
“I see,” Jake said. Even from ten feet away, he could smell the campsite, and underneath the smell of blood and smoke was a distinct grizzly smell. He’d know it anywhere.
“Do you have a lot of problems with rabies?”
“No more than anywhere else,” the woman said. “Mostly squirrels and raccoons, but I know bears can get it.”
“Thanks for your time,” Jake said. “I’m going to look around the site a bit, if you don’t mind.”
“Go right ahead,” said the woman, and she walked back to her RV.
The campground was understandably clear — no one wanted to be where a bear had recently murdered someone. Jake stepped past the yellow police tape, lifting it high over his head, and walked gingerly to the destroyed tent. Even though it had been out to the elements, wind and the ever-present rain, it had obviously been slashed open by something with serious claws.
The campers hadn’t had a chance. They’d been surprised while asleep, and had barely gotten to scream before the bear ripped both of their throats out.
Jake crouched down and took a deep, deep breath, trying to smell Violet. He itched inside his skin, the urgency to shift mounting, but he forced himself to stay human. Even though he could smell much better if he were a bear, he couldn’t exactly risk it — not here. Even though the campground had emptied out, there was still the campground host and a few brave families around, mostly those with RVs instead of tents.
Besides, he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t go nuts and kill someone. He was getting to that point, he could tell.
The ground and tent smelled like grizzly, that was for sure. Jake breathed deeper, fighting his urge to hold the torn sleeping bag up to his face, something he knew for a fact would look weird to everyone else.
It was a female bear. He was pretty sure about that, but he couldn’t quite get a bead on whether it was Violet or not. He battled down the urge to shift, one more time, looking around the campground. Maybe after this, he could drive somewhere remote and shift just for a while, destroy some trees or something, get it out of his system...
Ten feet into the forest behind the campsite, he noticed something: five parallel scratches in a tree trunk. He didn’t know if the police had seen it, but Jake would have recognized grizzlies’ markings anywhere.
Slowly, trying to look casual, he walked to the tree, then looked around to see if anyone was watching.
As nonchalantly as possible, Jake leaned forward and sniffed the claw marks in the tree.
It was her.
He thanked the campground host again and told her that he also couldn’t determine whether it was a rabid black bear or a grizzly, but that she should take every precaution she should. Either of those animals would be dangerous, he said.
Getting into his truck, he felt almost relieved. The worst case scenario he’d come up with hadn’t been Violet — it had been some other bear, some grizzly who might not even have been a shifter, wreaking havoc across the North Cascades. Violet at least he knew, even if he wasn’t sure what she wanted.
First things first, though, he needed to shift. Luckily, Jake knew of a dirt road off of Highway Twenty that led five miles up to a clearing where he could do whatever he wanted and not hurt anybody—
His phone rang. It was the office. For a moment he considered not answering, but that seemed like a bad idea, especially with Violet on the loose.
“Jake here,” he said, turning the key in his ignition.
“Someone just spotted the bear in Evergreen,” Harold, his boss, said on the other end of the line. “It’s definitely a female grizzly.”
Ariana, Jake thought. All thoughts of stopping somewhere to shift flew out of his head — he had to get back, now, make sure she was safe. Was she what Violet was after?
“I’ll be right back,” Jake said. “I was just checking out the scene at the campground.”
“Good idea,” said Harold. “See you in thirty.”
4
Ariana
Even though Ariana was sitting in the back of the library, when the pandemonium erupted in from outside, she could hear it all the way back where she was. It wasn’t even screaming, but instead a sudden rise in the overall volume of the place, people in the library suddenly talking in their outside voices, shouting at others to get inside. The library filled up fast, moms herding children inside, librarians rushing to the glass doors to see what was going on.
Ariana looked up and saw a mom with her kid standing next to her.
“What’s going on?” she said. “Was there an accident?”
“The bear’s outside,” the woman said.
Ariana left her laptop unguarded on the table and walked to the windows along the front of the library. She found a spot that was just kids and leaned over them, looking for the bear. The street was totally empty, but she didn’t see anything at first.
Then, a collective gasp. The kids in front of her pointed, and then
Ariana saw the bear, a huge thing with the characteristic hump in its back, loping along the center of main street. It was a deep brown, nearly black. Someone near her muttered that it was an unusual color for a bear, and maybe that was somehow related to its behavioral issues.
Ariana thought her heart might stop.
As she was watching the bear, her phone rang. It was Jake.
“Stay inside,” he said as soon as she picked up the phone.
“I’m watching it through the window,” she told him.
“It’s Violet.”
Ariana swallowed and nodded, even though the gesture was lost on the phone. “Why?” she said.
“I don’t know,” said Jake. “Maybe for revenge. Maybe she’s just suicidal.”
There was another gasp in the crowd at the library windows, and everyone’s heads turned the other way.
“There’s someone with a gun,” Ariana said. “Out in the street.”
“What kind of gun?” asked Jake.
“Big,” said Ariana.
“It’s a rifle,” offered one of the kids in front of her.
“A rifle,” she told Jake.
Violet had stopped in the center of the street, simply watching the man with the gun. As everyone watched, he took careful aim.
Almost like she knew what was coming, Violet waited until the last moment, then charged the man before he could fire. Terrified, his shot went wide, and then she was quickly closing the gap.
After a moment of hesitation, the man dropped the rifle and sprinted into the nearest doorway. The people huddled inside let him in and then slammed the door.
The bear stopped running and looked around. Then she loped off, down an alleyway, and everyone in the library started talking at once.
“What happened?” Jake was shouting into Ariana’s ear.
“She ran off!” she told him. “Somebody shot at her, but he missed and she ran off.”
“Shit,” said Jake. “Shit, shit, shit. Are you okay?”
“Of course. I’m fine,” said Ariana.
“Don’t move until I come get you.”
She almost protested, but didn’t.
“All right,” she said.
Twenty minutes later, Ariana was standing on the steps of the library, her laptop bag packed up and on her shoulder, checking her emails on her phone. The place was crawling with police, kids, parents, and a couple of men wearing camouflage and carrying uncomfortably large guns. She tried to ignore those, as well as the clear possibility that they’d shoot someone if Violet came back.
Someone besides Violet, that was. Ariana prayed no one was dumb enough to fire a rifle on a crowded street, but she figured you never really knew with people.
Soon Jake’s green truck came speeding up. He stopped right in front of the library in a clear no-park zone and jumped out before she could even get down the steps.
“You’re outside,” he said.
“I’m fine,” she told him.
“I thought you weren’t going to leave the building.”
“I was standing right outside the doors.”
For a long moment they stared at each other. Ariana flexed her jaw. She hated it when Jake got like this — even though she knew he was just worried about her and wanted her to be safe, she didn’t think it was any reason to treat her like a child.
“Come on,” he said.
“Where do you think we’re going?” asked Ariana. She didn’t budge from where she was, already frustrated with Jake and in no mood to be bossed around.
“I’m taking you to my office,” he said, like it was totally obvious.
“Can I work from there?”
“Sure,” Jake said, in that tone of voice that meant he was appeasing her — he didn’t actually know.
“Well, is there a desk? Is there wireless?”
Jake stomped back up the stairs of the library to stand right in front of Ariana. “I don’t know,” he said, his voice low and bordering on dangerous.
She stood her ground. “I have work to do,” she said. “You can’t just pull up and expect me to follow you like some weird duckling,” she said. “I am an adult, and I’m perfectly capable of not being eaten by a grizzly bear.”
Jake ran one hand across his mouth and then through his hair, looking away from her briefly. He looked upset and agitated, and Ariana began to wonder if maybe she’d gone too far. Violet was here, after all, and she knew that Jake blamed himself for a lot of what had happened.
“Ariana,” he said. “I’m sorry for treating you like a child. I know you’re an adult, it’s just — it’s my responsibility to keep you safe—“ Ariana opened her mouth to protest, but Jake held up one hand, “—because I got you into this. I’m afraid that Violet is after you, and if she kills you, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Ariana shut her mouth and felt bad.
“Please come with me to my office, because I’m worried that no one else here can protect you.”
Ariana gave herself a moment before she responded. She was still annoyed with him, still a little frustrated with his condescending tone and assumption that she wasn’t smart enough to keep herself out of trouble, but she figured they’d talk about that later, when the situation wasn’t so tense.
“Thank you,” she said. “Let’s go.”
She worked from an empty office in the forest ranger headquarters. Even though she was annoyed with him, still, she had to admit that he had really nice digs: floor-to-ceiling windows in a modern building, everything light and airy. Even though she was spending the day tracking down chupacabra reports, pricing flights to Juarez, and then pricing security for three Americans searching for cryptids in northern Mexico, every so often she’d look over and watch mist move through the woods or the sun peek out from behind the clouds.
About two hours later, Jake came in and told her he was heading off, up to the lake for a little while.
“Posting signs, alerting campers, that sort of thing. Regular bear education,” he said.
Ariana waited a moment for him to tell her she was coming with, but he didn’t.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine here,” he said.
“I promise not to let any bears in,” she said.
He glanced once, worried, at the plate glass window behind her, but left. Ariana glanced out the window, but there was nothing there: just trees and sun and mist, still. She buried her nose back in emails that said Please read — from David Lycan, and didn’t look up again until the sun was setting.
5
Jake
Jake kept hoping that he could find a time and place to sneak off, just for an hour, so he could shift and get it out of his system, but he never could. He drove with another ranger to the campgrounds on the lake, telling campers to be careful and giving the usual bear safety spiel: keep food in the bear boxes, not the tent, don’t approach bears, make loud noises if they’re nearby.
All he could think about the whole time was Ariana and whether she was safe. He knew he was overreacting, and he knew she was a grown woman, totally capable of keeping herself safe. He just felt responsible for her being here, and for her being a target of the grizzly pack — or, the former grizzly pack. Who knew what they were up to now, with their alpha dead in another state and his mate on the loose.
Besides, he loved her. Wholeheartedly. Desperately. If something happened to her, well—
“Oh, I’m ready for a bear,” said the man Jake had been talking to while on autopilot.
Jake just raised his eyebrows, wondering how exactly someone got “ready” for a bear.
The man reached behind him, into the bed of a pickup truck, and produced a lever action rifle, the kind usually used for hunting moose or elephants.
“This’ll stop just about anything,” the man said.
Jake couldn’t argue. “It’s a federal crime to shoot an endangered species,” he told him.
The man grinned. “I’d never shoot nothing,” he said, obviously lying through his teeth. “Just s
care it a little.”
Right, thought Jake, saying goodbye to the man and walking toward his own truck. He felt like his skin was crawling all over him, but people like that were why it just wasn’t safe for him to shift again. He couldn’t risk getting shot by some redneck with an elephant gun.
Of course, he thought, the longer I go without shifting the more dangerous it gets.
What a mindfuck.
Finally, he got back to the station and was relieved, though not really surprised, to see Ariana still sitting there, perfectly safe.
“Told you so,” she said, as he bent over her desk to kiss her.
“I knew you’d be fine,” he said. “Ready to head back?”
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You don’t look great.”
“I need to shift soon,” he said, trying to shrug it off. “I feel a little weird, but I’m fine.”
They drove the road back to the cabin mostly in tired silence, listening to country western radio the whole way there. Jake tried not to worry about the next few days, tried to put Violet out of his mind, along with his own need to shift, but it didn’t work that well.
At last, he pulled into his driveway, tires crunching down the long gravel ribbon, grateful to be at home, where his couch and his bed were, where at least he wouldn’t have to worry about Ariana getting eaten by Violet.
In fact, he almost wanted Violet to show up — he could shift, and he was sure he’d take all of his pent up frustration and rage out on her without hurting anybody else. The best case scenario, really, which was why he was sure it wouldn’t happen. Whatever she was up to, it wasn’t as straightforward as that.