by Rolan Graeme
Austin, unlike Nick, had difficulty falling asleep, and staying asleep, afterward. Careful not to awaken his bedmate, he lay there in the dark, thinking.
Maybe I’m being ungrateful. Things could be a lot worse. Nick seems to like having me around, and the sex has been great. I don’t really know what an ongoing relationship with another man is supposed to be like. Maybe, instead of wanting more, I should start appreciating what I already have.
At last, shortly before dawn, exhausted, Austin slept. Yet, his slumber was fitful, and no more than an hour and a half elapsed before he woke up again. He glanced at the alarm clock, then, taking care not to disturb Nick, he slipped out of the bed. He pulled on a pair of white cotton boxer shorts and went to the kitchen.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee alerted him to the fact that Jon was already up and about. Standing there in the kitchen, beside the ironing board, Jon also looked as though he had just climbed out of bed. He was every bit as undressed as Austin, except that, instead of loose-fitting boxer shorts, he was wearing a pair of black silk bikini briefs. Tiny to begin with, they seemed even smaller on his muscular body. Jon was using the steam iron to press a dress shirt, and he rather looked like every gay man’s fantasy of an ideal houseboy.
Confronted by the impressive sight of Jon’s nearly naked body, Austin couldn’t help staring up at him, with scarcely concealed envy and lust.
The porn actor returned his gaze warmly, his full, sensual lips compressed into a slight smile. A tingle of desire raced through Austin as he once again admitted to himself that his friend Nick’s house guest was, physically, a strikingly handsome specimen.
Jesus, he’s hot-looking! I wonder if his dick is really as big as it looks in his videos? If I looked like him and was hung like that, I bet I could have every cocksucker in Manhattan chasing after my cock, begging to swing on it! If they didn’t choke on me, trying!
“Hi,” Austin said, to break the potentially awkward silence.
“Hi there, yourself. You’re up kind of early, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. Nick’s still asleep. I wanted to have breakfast ready for him when he does get up, so he doesn’t have to rush. But it looks like you’ve beaten me to it. Is that pancake batter in that bowl?” Austin asked.
“Yes. As soon as Nick hauls that sexy ass of his out of bed and joins us, it’ll only take a few minutes for breakfast to be served.”
As he spoke, Jon leaned over the iron board, expertly wielding the iron, with his legs spread in a way that emphasized the considerable bulge in the crotch of his bikini briefs. Austin realized that he was staring at the other man’s basket, and that he ought to be ashamed of himself for doing so. But he couldn’t seem to divert his gaze. And Jon, he suspected, was used to being admired by other guys, and wouldn’t mind.
“What’re you doing?” Austin asked. “I mean, of course I can see you’re ironing, but why are you ironing first thing in the morning?”
“These are some of the things Nick’s going to take along on his trip. I wanted to iron them so he’ll look nice at his business meeting.”
“God, you almost sound like a husband,” Austin joked.
Jon returned his smile. “Or a houseboy. Either one might be a suitable second career for me, when I retire from the porn business.”
Nick finally joined them. The three men had breakfast and then Nick finished his last-minute packing, thanking Jon for the laundry duty he’d volunteered for. Jon remained inside after kissing Nick goodbye, but Austin accompanied him to his car.
“I feel like a housewife sending her husband off to work in the morning,” Austin joked, trying his best to use levity to cover up the anxiety he was feeling at the prospect of even this brief a separation.
“Well, you won’t be at all bad to come home to,” Nick replied. “You take care of yourself while I’m away, and also take care of Jon.”
“I will. And you take care of yourself, too. Drive carefully. Oh, and no stopping at truck stops, Nick. We both know the kind of things that go on there!”
Nick laughed, kissed him goodbye, and drove off. Sighing, Austin went back inside the house. He already missed Nick’s presence.
“Call me on my cell if you need anything,” Austin invited Jon. “I’ve got to go to work.”
“All right. Don’t eat a big lunch. I’m going to make us a nice dinner.”
“Man! You would make a good houseboy.”
After his shift at the garage, Austin did a few errands, then drove to Nick’s house. He was surprised to see Jon busy at work the living room, still wearing nothing but the same pair of skimpy black briefs. Seated on the couch, Jon had mailing supplies, including padded manila envelopes and labels, spread out on the coffee table, along with stacks of magazines and photos, and a cardboard box containing cards and envelopes. He was consulting some sort of a computer-generated list, with pen in hand.
“Dinner’s in the oven,” Jon reported. “It’ll be ready in about an hour.”
“Fine. Looking forward to it. Ah, didn’t you get dressed, at all, today?” Austin asked.
“No. Why should I? I never left the house. You’re lucky I’m not completely nude, which I usually am when I’m alone in my apartment, back in New York. Want me to go put some pants on?”
“No, don’t bother, not on my account. What are doing, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Catching up on my fan mail. I brought all this stuff with me when I packed to come here. Here’s a list of guys’ names and addresses. These are the ones who want signed photos, these are the ones who want signed DVDs, and these are the ones who want me to sign the covers of magazines which, you’ll notice, have photos of me on the cover. These guys have already paid for this stuff, of course, through my website. So, I want to get everything ready to take to the post office Monday morning. Got to keep the fans happy.”
“And those little blank cards and envelopes? They look like the cards you enclose in gifts.”
“They are. I like to write little handwritten notes and include them with the merchandise. It adds a personal touch.”
“So what you’re telling me is that being a sex celebrity can be very labor-intensive and time-consuming,” Austin joked.
“Exactly. But enough about me. How are you doing, with Nick gone?”
“I’m bored. Restless,” Austin admitted. “I could sure use somebody to talk to.”
Jon smiled at him as he went on with his work. “So, talk,” he invited. “I’m not much of a conversationalist, I’m afraid. My talents, such as they are, lie in other areas,” he joked. “But here I am. And I guess I’m better than nothing.”
“Do you mind if I ask you a kind of personal question?”
“Austin, I’m a porn actor. I hustle. Exactly what the hell do you think you’re going to ask me that’s likely to embarrass me? Go ahead and ask. Anything.”
“You’re older and a lot more experienced than I am, Jon. That’s sort of why I wanted to talk to you. Did you fuck around a lot when you were my age? I mean,” Austin said, blushing, “have you always known you were gay, or did you start out by screwing women and only become attracted to other men gradually, or what?”
“I’ve had all kinds of sexual experiences, and I’ve fucked women and enjoyed it, at least physically, but sure, ever since I was about your age I’ve seemed to confine myself to other men.” As he spoke, Jon continued to sign photos of himself and insert them into mailing envelopes, and Austin watched his deft hands at work, fascinated. “I’m sure the preference was there from the very beginning, and it was just a question of my learning to accept it.”
“What’s it like?”
“What’s what like? Sex with a woman, you mean? Surely you’re old enough to know that for yourself. I can’t believe you’re still a virgin—in that sense, I mean. Are you?”
Austin flushed. “I’ve actually only gone all the way with a girl a few times. It didn’t do all that much for me. It sure didn’t leave me with any desire to repeat
the experience. Once I started fooling around with guys, that was it, for me. No ambivalence whatsoever.”
“Interesting. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. It sounds as though you’ve always known, or at least suspected, you were gay. Am I right?”
“I think you are.”
“Well, good for you. You’ve probably saved yourself from going through a lot of unnecessary grief. A lot of guys can’t say that. They have to learn they’re gay, or accept it, the hard way.”
“What’s it like having sex with another guy, not because you’re necessarily attracted to each other, but because it’s business, your job? You know, on a film set with the other actors, or when you’re with a guy who’s paying you to have sex with him?”
Jon shrugged. “Sex is sex. You might be surprised to learn there’s really not that much difference.”
“I guess I’m having trouble imagining what it must be like to be performing as opposed to just enjoying yourself in bed with another guy. In those movies you and Nick have made, it always looks as though you’re really making love with the other guys, instead of just fooling around together.”
Jon laughed. “Thank you. Because I’ll take that as a compliment. That’s why they call it acting, after all. But what I do in front of the camera, or behind closed doors with a john, isn’t all that much of a stretch for me. I do like sex. There’s a difference between being aware that I’m giving a performance, to some extent, and just faking it. I hardly ever have to fake it. I have a vivid imagination, and I get turned on really easily. Even a guy who’s not really my type, or not exactly an Adonis, I can usually find something about him to get excited about, and respond to.”
“I wonder if I expect too much from sex.” Austin almost seemed to be thinking out loud, rather than directing his remark to Jon, who looked at him, curiously.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, look at these videos you make, Jon.”
Jon laughed. “I’ve seen them, remember? Not too shabby, some of them, if I do say so myself.”
“No, I mean, look at it from the standpoint of somebody like me. I’d feel weird having sex with a guy and knowing the whole time that the two of us might never see each other again. Oh, I can imagine myself just wanting to get my rocks off with some guy. A one-night stand, sure. A quickie. Getting a quick hand job or a blow job or something like that is one thing. But the two of you actually naked, rolling around in bed, kissing and groping, then moving on to sucking and fucking, the whole works, doing all that, without having any personal feelings for each other…the thought kind of freaks me out. It’s almost depressing, in a way.”
“But you don’t seem to have any difficulty talking about it, or imagining what it’s like,” Jon said. “And it’s only a short step from thinking about it to doing it. But you’re wrong about one thing, I think. I’ve had sex lots of time under exactly the kind of circumstances you just described. In one sense, sure, it was just going through the motions for the camera, or to satisfy the john. But I can never seem to turn off my emotions altogether. I always feel something for the other guy, even when I know damn well it’s only going to be a one-time thing.”
Austin sighed. “I suppose I’m naïve.”
“No, you’re just a nice guy. You’re sweet and that makes you vulnerable. I hope you don’t let yourself get hurt.”
“By Nick?” Austin guessed.
“Nick would never do anything deliberately to hurt you, but if you demand too much from him, if you put too much pressure on him, well, then he’s likely to back away, and you’ll end up feeling disappointed.”
Feeling a bit flustered, Austin tried to disguise himself by picking up one of the magazines. There was indeed a photo of Jon on the cover, smiling, nude, and erect. The caption read Jon D’Eau in “Schwule Muskelfreaks.“ Ein muss für Athleten-Fans!
“This one’s in German,” Austin realized. “I took German in high school, but I’m not sure what this says.”
“Oh, that means Sexy muscle freaks. A must for lovers of athletes,” Jon translated, for his benefit.
“I see. Did you actually travel to Germany to do this photo shoot?”
“Yeah. I’ve been in Europe. There’s a review of one of my DVDs in there, along with an interview they did with me, in Hamburg. We had a translator, of course.”
“Nick’s been in Germany, too, recently.”
“I imagine he has. He’s very popular, everywhere, not just here in the United States.”
“What do you guys do when you go overseas? Make a film?”
“Yes. Or we’re invited to some event sponsored by a bar or a gay organization. We make what’s called a personal appearance, which can mean anything from meeting fans and giving them our autographs to doing a strip show or a live sex show in a club.”
“That’s what Nick did, apparently, on this trip he made to Berlin. A sex show, I mean. Damn. It’s bad enough having him lusted after by American men. I don’t even want to think about all those horny foreigners going after him, as well.”
Jon laughed. “Are you the jealous type?”
“I try not to be.”
“Try harder,” Jon advised, “because that’s the one thing that might scare Nick off.”
“Thanks for the heads up.” Austin once again made a point of studying the German-language magazine, flipping through its pages, which were filled with photos of naked men, mostly porno actors. Many of the articles seemed to be reviews of porno films.
“Would you like one?” Jon asked. “I have extras. They’re in the drawer of the nightstand, next to the bed in the room Nick’s put me up in. With no Nick to keep you entertained overnight, you might need some stimulating reading material to jerk off over,” he added, with a teasing sarcasm. “And you’d be surprised by how much of a foreign language you can pick up just from flipping through one of their local sex rags, like that one. Come on.”
Jon led the way down the hall, into the studio, and then across the room toward the bed, and Austin admired the way his ass cheeks filled the seat of his black briefs. Austin was getting excited. There was something highly provocative about being alone in the house with Jon, and the other man’s near-nudity was a further stimulus. And now they were in the room Jon had been sleeping in—near the bed he had been sleeping in, the bed Nick used when he made his sex videos, right here in this room. The prospect of further intimacies possibly taking place between him and Jon was so exciting that Austin could feel an erection swelling to embarrassing proportions inside his jeans.
“Excuse me a minute while I get some clothes on. I probably should get dressed, after all. I wouldn’t want to be accused of corrupting the morals of an innocent like you, or of trying to turn you into a sex-crazed slut like me,” Jon said lightly, as soon as they were beside his bed.
Austin scarcely dared to breathe as Jon peeled his bikini briefs down over his hips and pushed them to his ankles in one quick, easy motion. Stepping out of the underpants, he turned to pick them up, and caught Austin’s eye.
His hand tossed the briefs onto a chest of drawers against one wall and he straightened his stark-naked body slowly. His cock hung heavy and low between his legs, resting against the pouch of weighty balls dangling behind its bulk. A glimmer came to his eyes and he began to smile.
“Is something wrong, Austin? You’re looking at me kind of funny.”
Austin’s throat felt burning dry, and his heart hammered insanely inside his chest. “Don’t bother to get dressed, man,” he said hoarsely. “And don’t bother getting out any more of the fuck magazines, either! I don’t really want to see them. Not right now, anyway. Not when I can have the real thing. Come here! I—I want to see your cock!”
Jon began to walk toward Austin with the slow, assured tread of a panther stalking its prey in the jungle. His cock swung slowly from side to side between his thighs as he moved. He paused just in front of Austin, with his chest almost touching the younger guy’s pecs.
Without saying a word, h
e reached down and his hand began to rub back and forth over his dick until it began to swell and jerk upwards in a steady arc to his belly.
“Is this what you’re really interested in, then?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Austin gasped.
“I’m flattered. Except when I’m on the set, I don’t usually fool around with guys your age,” Jon said bluntly. “You’re usually too young to know what you want, and when you do let a gay guy have sex with you, too often you act as though you were doing him a favor.”
“I—I’m not like that. At least, I’ll try not to be,” Austin promised anxiously. “You’re the one who’ll be doing me the favor. God, I’m horny! I want to make it with you so bad my cock and balls hurt.”
“Well, that’s a promising start.”
Jon was still toying with himself. Austin’s eyes were hypnotized by the throbbing of his fat pink cockhead as it mushroomed into twice the size it had been when limp. He stared down between their bodies at the heavy veins running through the length of the shaft and could almost see them gorging with more blood by the second! Up and up, the cock rose until it was pointing straight up from the thick mat of silky black hair at its base.
Jon’s hand reached between his legs and cupped his big balls, then lifted them like an offering to Austin’s gaze. He juggled them slowly up and down for a moment, then let them drop again. He gripped his dick at its root and bent it down with an effort until the rigid prong pointed straight out and its tip touched the crotch of Austin’s jeans. His other hand slid behind Austin’s neck and squeezed gently to urge his head forward.
“Show me if you know how to kiss a man,” Jon murmured, opening his mouth and pressing it against Austin’s gently, his tongue already sliding from between his lips to lick and explore.
Austin moaned as they kissed, tongues darting deep into each other’s mouths, bodies crushed tightly together, Jon’s erection now trapped between their bellies, Austin’s hard-on still imprisoned inside his suddenly too-tight jeans.