by Lauren Eason
“Seat belts,” my mother said as she checked the rearview mirror.
I pulled the belt over my shoulder and clicked it. “So, tell me about the house.”
“They recently built them in an affluent up-and-coming area,” my mother began.
“You’re going to love it!” Jess exclaimed. “They’re all beachy themed with different colors and cute little picket fences in the front yard.”
“We have a yard?” From what I had known about townhomes, they generally had extremely tiny yards or none at all.
“Well, it’s kind of small, but the back yards are a little bigger with privacy fences. Mom and Dad are talking about throwing a little backyard barbeque before we go back to school with our neighbors and some of Mom’s work friends that live in the area,” Jess explained.
“We thought it would be a good way for you girls to get to know some of the people in the neighborhood,” my father said. “Some of your Mom’s coworkers have kids around your age that attend your new school.”
“Sounds great,” I said, mustering up the best smile I could. While it all sounded like a good plan, I wasn’t sure how invested I was in being thrust into a new environment forced to meet new people.
“The neighborhood is really safe,” my mother continued, breaking the awkward silence that befell our car. “If you two girls stay together, your dad and I wouldn’t mind it if you explored a little. There are some clothing stores, a coffee shop, bakery, and florist all nearby.”
“Yeah, and the beach isn’t too far, either. You could drive us there, right, Aislin?” Jess asked.
“You’re allowing me to drive my car?” I asked, tuning back into the conversation.
“You’ve been gone long enough,” my mother said in a kind voice. “It wouldn’t be fair if we never allowed you to prove yourself to us. We trust you.”
“You do?” I asked skeptically. “That’s very...nice of you.”
“They’ve been going to counseling,” Jess whispered to me.
My lips parted to form a silent O before resting back against my seat. “So, if that’s the case, then I’m sure you have some rules for me?”
“We do,” my father replied. “We want your life to be as normal as possible. You may drive your car, but you must be back at the house by no later than 10 PM. If you’re going to meet a friend, your mother and I must have met them first and have their phone number in hand. We would also like you to participate in the community outreach program through the school with your sister.”
“What? Why? I don’t think the school would even want me—”
“This isn’t a discussion, Aislin,” my father interrupted. “We need you to work with us on this. Please.”
I could tell he was at his wit’s end. Remembering what Jess had told me before, I kept my opinions to myself and stared out the window. They were stressed and the guilt I felt only intensified. My dad was asking me for a little help, and I guess I could do that for him. I suppose, in a way, I owed him that much.
“That’s fine,” I replied. “What’s this outreach program?”
“I was reading about it on the school website,” Jess explained. “They host meetings in the recreation center on campus where students rotate different jobs in certain areas of interest. Like, if you’re interested in writing, you can help host and fundraise poetry jams. Or, if you like music, you can help mentor kids who want to learn. That’s what I’m interested in, so I’ve been talking with our neighbor, Steven Thompson.”
“Mr. Thompson is a pianist,” my mother commented. “He and Jess are looking into working together through the outreach program. He’s offered to train Jess on how to teach beginner classes for new students since she’s already familiar with the material.”
“What does he get out of this?” I asked.
“New students,” Jess answered. “He teaches me advanced classes, and I drum up new business for him through the school. Plus, he said he’s going to give me some of the money as a commission for helping him.”
“Wow,” I said. “You’re fourteen and already have a side hustle.”
“Thanks,” she replied beaming. “I won’t be starting till school is in session, but I thought maybe you could find something you’re interested in.”
“I guess, when we get to the house, you can show me that website.” It couldn’t hurt being more involved with school and my family. As someone good at finding loopholes, I did notice that my father never gave me an actual timeframe to enroll in the program. Of course, I would use that to my advantage—at least until I couldn’t anymore.
As we drove along, the scenery changed from business complexes to the typical beach area shops and tourist traps. The rain finally subsided as the sun filtered through the clouds, pushing them away. Large condominiums rested in the background of the strip malls, all facing the beachfront view. I saw more and more golf carts puttering around on the roads with families piled inside, another typical day out for them.
“We going to get one of those?” I teased as a green golf cart stopped at the red light in the next lane over from us.
“It’s a thought,” my father responded.
“I was totally kidding. Are you serious?” I asked, laughing.
“It’s more fuel-efficient than driving the car everywhere. Especially if you want to go to the beach, it’s helpful in traffic,” he answered.
“We’re not getting a golf cart,” my mother stated, shutting down the topic. “They’re not safe enough for you.”
We slowed as our dad pulled the car onto a road lined with townhomes on each side. Jess tapped my shoulder and pointed out the shops my mother had mentioned as we passed by. Eventually, the car slowed as we pulled into a driveway in front of the garage. A decorative picket fence lined the front of our house as we exited the vehicle, making our way up a set of stairs beside the driveway.
The house was a pastel blue with white shutters standing narrow and tall. It had two stories situated over the garage area, an overall design with all the homes on our new street. My mom and dad were the first to open the door and walk over the threshold as I entered behind them with Jess.
The foyer of the home led into an open-floor concept with stairs leading up to the second floor. The dining room lay to my right while an office area complete with French doors opened to my left. A door beside the hallway half-bath led downstairs into the garage. Walking towards the back of the house, I rounded the corner and saw the large living room with the open kitchen at the end leading back into the dining room area.
The floors were made of light oak with more pastel blues and greens on the walls with high ceilings. I half expected to see bowls of seashells lying around or at least a mirror made out of them. The appliances in the kitchen were modern stainless steel surrounded by marble countertops.
“Our rooms are upstairs,” my sister said as she grabbed my hand, pulling me with her.
She raced up the stairs as I trailed behind, glancing over the pictures on the wall of our family. Reaching the top of the stairs, Jess pulled me to the left to show me her room from the hallway. The room overlooked the street, although the view was blocked by a single tree the builders had decided to save to make the home more appealing.
“This is a lot bigger than the apartment,” I murmured as I walked into her room, noticing the soft green walls now hidden behind posters.
“Come on,” she said, pulling me away. “Your room is right across the hall.”
I let her pull me along as she opened my bedroom door. My furniture was already set up for me. My sized queen bed was up against the light blue walls with a bedside table on each side. My dresser was next to me as I entered the room, light filtering from the sun passing over the top of trees in the back yard. A window seat lay underneath the back windows giving the space a cozy feel. Nearby was my computer desk with a door beside it.
Opening it, I saw my clothes hanging in the closet. Letting my backpack drop to the floor, I turned around to see Jess sitting on m
y bed. She had done all of this as a surprise for me.
“I could’ve unpacked when I got here,” I said.
“I know, but I wanted you to spend the time with me instead of unpacking. Besides, I knew where everything was since I was the one who packed it all up,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders.
“Thank you, Jess. I don’t know what to say. You’ve done so much for me.”
“That’s what sisters are for,” she said, getting up from the bed.
“Are you sure I’m the older sister here?” I teased.
“Oh, you are most definitely the older sister,” she laughed as she headed for the door. “If you need me, I’ll be in my room.”
“Right,” I said as I picked up my bag and flung it on the bed before closing my door. Leaning against it, I fumbled around inside my pockets, realizing I had forgotten my phone on the charger in the car.
Leaving my room, I headed past the bathroom and downstairs to the living room. My mother was preparing dinner in the kitchen while my father sat on the couch with a beer in his hand, watching the news. I picked up the car keys on the coffee table as he sat up on the couch.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked.
“Relax. I left my phone in the car,” I said as I hurried through the front door. I unlocked the car to pull out my phone and charger before stuffing it into my pocket.
“You must be the other daughter,” a man said from the sidewalk in front of our house. Closing the door, I peeked around to get a good look at him. He was holding a brown paper bag full of groceries as I approached him.
“You’re even more beautiful in person,” he said. “I’m Steven, your neighbor.”
“Oh, that’s right. Jess told me about you. You’re giving her piano lessons.” The hair on the back of my neck bristled as I wrapped my arms around myself from the sudden chill.
Steven smiled, a dimple appearing on his left cheek as he did so. He was a lot younger than I had expected, probably early twenties, with light shaggy brown hair and dark eyes. I could tell by his tan that he must’ve frequented the beach.
“Do you play?” he asked.
“Me? No, I’m definitely not the protégé within the family. Jess inherited all the talent,” I replied.
“Well, if you ever want to try and learn, let me know,” he said. “I’ll catch you later. This bag is getting a little heavy.”
I smiled as he continued on his way towards the house next door. As nice as he appeared to be, his presence triggered my nerves, placing a sense of unease upon me. Heading back inside, I placed the keys down on the hallway table and ran back upstairs to my room. Flopping on my bed, I waited for my phone to boot up. Inserting Raven’s phone number, I sent her a quick text, so she knew it was me. As I did so, texts started trailing in, my phone vibrating left and right as they flooded my inbox from the time my phone went out of commission to now.
Opening a few of them, I scrolled through the messages seeing where my old friends thought I was mad at them for not responding. I had never gotten the chance to inform them of the center I was going to. Well, that was technically a lie. I didn’t want them to know about my problem, so I chose not to have time to tell them.
As I read the messages, my eyes began to water as tears threatened to spill. Some of them were awful, from the very people I thought were my friends. I quickly logged into my social media accounts and saw some of the most horrific comments about me. I wondered if Jess had seen them, and that’s why my parents had opted for the sudden move.
I deleted all the messages from my phone and most of my contacts except for my family and Raven. Logging into my accounts one at a time, I terminated them, wanting to disappear without a trace, which I could do now that I was in a new town. It felt a lot better than I had expected, vanishing into thin air with only a rumor or two floating around my old school until I was forgotten altogether. Out of sight, out of mind.
Jess knocked softly on my bedroom doorframe as I lifted my head to look at her. “You okay in here?”
“Yeah,” I whispered as I spread my arms out, clutching my phone in my hand.
She moved further into the room, closing the door behind her. Pulling up my desk chair, she sat down to face me. “You saw them didn’t you?”
“It was only a matter of time,” I stated. “Besides, there’s nothing left for me back there.”
“You’re right,” Jess said. “There isn’t. I think being away from all that drama and fake friendships you had will be good for you.”
“If you see that I’m not your friend on social media anymore, it’s because I deleted everything,” I said, sitting up on the bed and folding my legs underneath me.
“Good,” she said with a weak smile. “Now, you can have a fresh start. We’ll be friendless together.”
I laughed as a sob wracked my body. Jess came over to the bed and sat beside me, putting an arm around me. I glanced over at her as I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. “I get why people can be happy and sad at the same time now.”
Jess sat silently with me as I cried into her arms. She rocked me back and forth as to how a mother would take a child. While she probably thought my tears were for my old life, they weren’t. They were tears of relief. A weight lifted from my shoulders as I thought about how the people I hung around held me back from my true potential. There were so many things I wanted to do and should’ve done before my descent into pills to deal with my existence. I wanted to try. I wanted to try for her.
Chapter Six
I grabbed a few cucumbers and shoved them into a plastic bag. My mother decided it was time for me to get out of the house and dragged me along to the market down the street. She thought the fresh air and sunlight would help with my attitude. I didn’t know that being silent and keeping to myself was a problem, but to my parents, it was.
“Is this enough cucumbers for the party tonight?” I asked as I held the bag up for my mother to see. She peeked over the fruit stand and nodded as I placed them into the cart.
“Why did Jess get a pass on this?” I asked exasperated.
“Because,” my mother began, “she’s helping your father set up for the event at home. I needed a helper, and so here you are. Besides, we don’t get to spend much time alone together.”
“This is your idea of quality time? Picking up food for your party tonight?”
“It’s our party, Aislin. Have a little pride. You’re going to meet new people and maybe make a new friend,” my mother encouraged.
“Can I invite Raven?” I asked, hopeful.
Raven had gotten out of the rehabilitation center the day before. As soon as she did, she texted me back, the highlight of my day while I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling of my room. With her gone, life was boring, and I think it was starting to show with my general disinterest in everything that was going on at home.
“Is that the girl you befriended at that place?” my mother asked.
“In rehab?” I said a little loudly. “Yes, Mom. That would be the one. She’s going to my new school, you know.”
“Oh, really,” my mother replied, a frown on her face as she picked through the pineapples. “I suppose it’s alright.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?” I inquired harshly.
“It’s nothing, Ais,” she stated, putting a pineapple into our cart.
“No, I want to know. Is it because of where I met her?” I questioned further. I knew this wasn’t doing me any favors pushing her like this, but I needed to talk about it.
“I want you to make good choices,” my mother answered, placing an arm on my shoulder. I brushed it off.
“Mom, you don’t understand. Raven and I were there for each other through it all. I helped her, and she helped me. She was even there when you and Dad decided not to come to visitation twice in a row. If anyone has shown me support through this, it’s her,” I stated furiously.
“I’m sorry, Aislin. I’m listening,” my mother said, using the phrases she had learned through her
couples counseling sessions. I waved my hand dismissively and pretended to look through the produce.
I was tired of tip-toeing around everyone’s feelings and opinions of me. My parents couldn’t control their own marriage, so they decided to wrangle me instead. Sometimes, I wished they weren’t so focused on me because I thought I was doing pretty well on my own.
“Good,” I huffed as we continued through the aisles. We plucked things from the shelf in silence. I knew my mother was thinking long and hard about what I had said. It was evident in the way they were treating me ever since I came home.
If I had thought the rehab center had treated me like a criminal, it was nothing in comparison to what my parents were doing. While I wasn’t confined to the house or a strict regiment, they were always questioning what I was up to. They had bought a safe to keep all the medications in. They even locked up the Tylenol, so whenever I had so much as a headache, I had to ask special permission for it. I wasn’t a junkie, but they would never believe me. So much for allowing me to prove myself.
“Aislin, could you go find us some sodas and chips for tonight? I’ll be in the meat section,” my mother instructed.
Without saying a word, I walked down the row of aisles, reading the labels above them. My phone buzzed in my back pocket as I saw a new text from Raven. I quickly texted her back, inviting her to our barbeque with my address. As soon as I sent it, she responded with an affirmative as I smiled stupidly at my phone right before smashing into the back of someone.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going,” the man said as he turned around.
“Oops, sorry,” I replied before hurrying away. My face burned with embarrassment as I felt the man’s eyes staring after me. Ducking into an aisle, I found the sodas wondering which ones I should get. Before I could make a final decision, the man I had bumped into turned down the aisle, spotting me. He stopped right beside me, looking at the same shelves.