by K. M. Scott
I couldn’t help but be charmed at how sweet she looked. “I had a good time that night. I don’t have that many memories that make me smile, so of course I remember that.”
Looking up, she seemed confused. “But we never did anything more than just kiss.”
“I don’t think that matters. I had a great time that night. You did too, if I’m remembering correctly.”
I shouldn’t have been using any charm on Diana. If Ethan found out, he’d drag me out of there and beat me senseless. And he’d have every right to do that and more. He’d just told me Diana was dealing with things, and there I was talking about a night a decade before when I’d broken every rule he and Tristan had set just to be cheered up by her.
Still, I couldn’t stop myself from flirting with her.
Diana blushed again and nodded. “I did. Remember how terrifying it was when we thought Ethan had seen us out near the back of the grounds? If he had found out…”
She didn’t finish her sentence, so I did. “He would have killed me. Trust me, I know. He’s warned me over and over never to even look at you like you’re a female.”
She smiled and looked away, but I added, “But I couldn’t stop myself. Forbidden fruit is just too tempting, I guess.”
I wished she would keep talking, but she begged off and said something about her having to go find her father. Watching her hurry away, I thought about the first time I kissed her. I’d been so afraid to make any move on her, and when I finally did that spring night after the baseball game, it had been as incredible as I thought it would be.
Maybe it was the lure of forbidden fruit. I didn’t think so. While Diana had always been off-limits, I never thought of her like I thought of other girls back then. They’d been playthings to sleep with, fuck them and then forget them was the basic motto of how I dealt with females in high school.
But not her. Not Diana. I’d slept with other girls long before that time I spent with her that spring right before graduation, but never once did I try to get into her pants. That’s not what I wanted from her.
My life was a mess after my father got sent to prison and my three brothers and I were sent to live with my grandmother. We still got to attend the same high school and still got to hang out with our friends, so everyone figured we’d be fine. And maybe on the outside we looked okay.
We weren’t. Our mother had left when I was twelve. One day, we woke up and she wasn’t there anymore. I didn’t know why, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was she was gone. My father had never been the parenting type either, so when he found himself left with four boys, he did what he’d always done with us.
Nothing. We found our way on our own, aided by his money to act on our worst instincts.
Then with him gone too, we were lost. Lost wealthy boys with too much unsupervised free time and money, a disastrous combination for the best people, and we weren’t the best.
But when I was with Diana, I found what I didn’t even know I needed back then. That goodness in her made me feel safe in a world that had no stability or security. I needed that more than I wanted sex, drugs, or any of the bad habits I gleefully enjoyed then.
I remembered the way she looked up at me that first night, her blue eyes wide like she couldn’t believe I kissed her. I hadn’t planned on it or even thought about what I’d do next after that first kiss. We’d just ended up alone when Ethan left with some girl, and since I had no interest in her friend, I agreed to walk Diana home as a favor to her brother. The road was dark, and we cut through the woods at the first chance we got since we’d played in there nearly every day of our childhoods and we knew that place like the back of our hands.
And there in the darkness as we wove our way through the trees just sprouting their new leaves, I grabbed her hand when she tripped over an exposed root on the path. When she steadied herself, I didn’t let go, and then my lips were on hers in a kiss I hadn’t planned but never wanted to end.
I didn’t know what would happen next. All I knew was when she kissed me back, all the terrible things life had dumped on me and all the awful things I did to others disappeared. She was good and pure and I needed that like I needed air to breathe.
By the time we exited the woods near her house, I wanted more of how she made me feel. I could get sex from other girls, but I couldn’t get the way Diana looked at me like I was something worthy of a girl like her.
I liked the way her blue eyes lit up at the sight of me. I missed having someone look at me like that now.
Would a woman even look at me like that again?
Chapter Three
Diana
The dark circles under my father’s eyes told me he and his party guests had enjoyed themselves long after Ethan and Summer had taken me home yesterday afternoon. He was undoubtedly too tired to do our weekly Sunday afternoon out, but still there he stood waiting for me, smiling like always when he came to see me.
“Your mother apologizes, honey. She’s not feeling well today. She promises she’ll come next week,” he said before covering his mouth to hide a yawn.
“It’s okay, Daddy. You look pretty exhausted yourself. Do you want to just cancel today?”
His expression grew serious, and he shook his head. “No. We do lunch every Sunday, so I’m here to take you out to get something to eat. Where do you want to go?”
“Let’s make it your choice today.”
My father would undoubtedly choose a wonderful restaurant he knew I’d love. That’s the type of man he was. He probably wished he could be sitting at home in bed resting after Tressa’s engagement party where he likely had too much to drink, but he didn’t want to let me down, even for a single day.
That was my father. No matter what he did for Tressa or Ethan, he always showed up for me.
Since he could use a good, strong cup of coffee, I said, “What about that place around the corner that has those wonderful pastries with the chocolate drizzled on top?”
Cherries and Cream had become a favorite spot for Summer and me since they opened a few months ago. In addition to the most delicious pastries I’d ever tasted, they had a variety of coffees and tea we loved, and the place was absolutely adorable.
“Sounds good, but don’t you want lunch instead of just pastries?” he asked, stifling a second yawn.
I waved off his concern and shrugged. “It’s okay. I’ll take a chocolate anything over lunch any day.”
“I think we went there a couple weeks ago, didn’t we? That’s where I had that Denver omelet I loved, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, that’s the place,” I said as I grabbed my white sweater just in case they had the air conditioning on so early in the year.
My father took a deep breath and smiled as I approached him. “You look lovely, Diana. Is that a new dress?”
I looked down at my brand new light pink sundress I’d fallen in love with because of the little white daisies that dotted the hem and smiled. My father never missed an opportunity to make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
Lifting my head to face him, I nodded. “I bought it the last time Summer and I went shopping. Aren’t the daisies adorable?” I asked, pointing toward the bottom of my dress.
“You and your mother have almost the identical taste. You got your good style from her.”
I rolled my eyes. “Says the man who always looks fantastic.”
“That’s because your mother tells me when I’m about to walk out of the house looking like a mismatched nightmare. If it wasn’t for her, God knows what I’d be roaming the streets like.”
Tristan Stone had never looked like a mismatched anything a day in his adult life, no matter what he claimed. I’d seen pictures of him before he and my mother met, and he looked just like he did at that moment in my hotel room. A little greyer at the temples than when he was my age and a little sleepier after yesterday’s party, but always sharp looking. My mother’s help with his wardrobe choices only improved on what nature had blessed him with.
I stood on my tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re always perfect to me, Daddy. Whatever you look like, you’re always the same man on the inside, and that’s what counts.”
“If only the rest of the world thought like you, honey.”
As we walked through the Richmont lobby, my father’s employees smiled and said hello, making sure to wish me a good day like they always did. I’d never known if he instructed them to do that or if they just tried to be nice because that’s who they were, but their effort never failed to make me happy.
Weaving my arm through his, we stepped out into the warm May day and walked the block and a half to Cherries and Cream. The sun felt good on my face, and I tilted my head back to let it heat my cheeks.
The restaurant occupied a tiny, narrow piece of real estate in Manhattan, but the owners made it feel like someplace out in the country with their charming design. The outside of the building had a façade that looked like an old Victorian house. Painted white, it reminded me of the homes in the town near my parents’ home upstate. There, in the middle of the city, the restaurant stood as a welcoming spot to enjoy a treat amid all the hustle and bustle of everyday life there.
Inside, the décor featured red and white checkered tablecloths on the tables and wooden spindle backed chairs painted white to match. Shelves with antique teapots dotted the walls that had been wallpapered in a red and white flower print that oddly didn’t overwhelm the place or make it feel too busy. On the floor, hardwood planks that had been whitewashed completed the homey look.
As I took in the feel of the place, my father quietly instructed the hostess to seat us near the front window. I pretended to not know and smiled when he thanked her for the best seat in the house, as he always did at every restaurant. He had the best of intentions for making me sit so others saw me. I knew that, so I never said anything in protest, even though it never failed to make me feel awkward to have passersby staring at me as I enjoyed a pastry and a cup of tea.
I scanned the menu for my usual and then looked over at the chalkboard hanging on the wall for any specials since the owners routinely offered something new each week. On it, I saw written in pink chalk the words STRAWBERRY CREAM PIE.
Tugging on my father’s sleeve, I directed his attention to the announcement. “Mom is going to be so disappointed! You should take her a piece home.”
He smiled and nodded. “That’s a good idea. I’ll do that. Are you getting a slice? You love strawberries as much as your mother.”
“I do, but I love chocolate more, so it’s that pastry with chocolate drizzle for me. What about you?”
Sighing, he said, “Coffee and something light and flaky sounds exactly what I need this morning. I think I’m going to go for a biscuit with butter.”
“You and mom had a good time yesterday,” I said with a chuckle.
A good time was an understatement. I had a feeling my father never stopped smiling from the moment the first guest arrived to the moment the last one left.
“It was quite a party. Did you have a nice time?” he asked, always worried about me when it came to events like that.
“I did. Ethan and Summer hung out with me for a while, and then Cole and his girlfriend joined us. That didn’t end well, but it was nice to talk to him again. We haven’t spoken much since high school.”
For a moment, my father’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Cole, but then they softened again and he smiled. “I think I heard your brother mention something about his date stranding him out at the house. I guess that’s what you mean by not ending well.”
“I don’t think it was true love.”
My father didn’t try to hide his amusement at my comment. Laughing out loud, he shook his head. “Cole Knight and true love. Now that’s a combination I don’t think will be happening anytime soon.”
As much as I wanted to defend Cole and ask my father why he thought he wouldn’t ever find true love, I stopped myself. Asking too many questions about him would sound suspicious, and I didn’t want to have to lie to my father this morning.
The waitress took our order and left us alone again to talk. A group of four women arrived and were seated a few tables away from us. Around my age, they looked tired like my father, and I suspected they spent their Saturday doing exactly what he’d done, just in another location.
He turned and watched them for a few seconds, studying them almost as if he needed to remind himself how normal twenty-eight year old women behaved. I thought I saw a hint of approval in his eyes, like he was happy to see them acting like they were expected to.
Unlike me.
When he turned back to face me, that approval faded, replaced by concern my father forever seemed to have in his eyes when he looked at me. I used to find that look comforting. Now I had grown to hate it because it meant I was as broken as I worried I was.
“Tressa and Killian seem to have found that true love,” I said, eager to talk about something that would make him smile and make that look leave his eyes.
“I think they have,” he said with pride in his voice. “She’s crazy about him, and he’s obviously over the moon about her. I think they’ll be very happy.”
“I never thought Tressa would be the first to marry, I have to admit,” I said with a sigh.
A long time ago, I thought I would be the first to find someone to settle down with and have kids. God, that seemed so strange now that I thought about it.
My father chuckled. “I don’t think if I had to bet that I would have gone with your sister getting married first, to be honest.”
“I definitely doubted Ethan would ever be serious with one woman, so maybe I was wrong when I thought he would have been the last to settle down.”
Unlike so many other times when I brought up the subject of my brother, now my father didn’t get that familiar hint of disapproval in his expression. Instead, he nodded and smiled. “Your brother and Summer have been a wonderful surprise. I think she’s had a good effect on him, especially when it comes to business. I always knew he’d be successful. He’s doing what he loves and making a good living at it, and I think that has a lot to do with Summer. She’s good for him.”
I forced a smile as I thought about how happy my siblings were. Both Ethan and Tressa had found happiness and success in their personal and professional lives, and what had I found? I lived in a room in my father’s hotel and only went out when one of my family members joined me. I didn’t have friends like the women seated at the table across the room. I didn’t have a significant other like my brother and sister.
I had nothing.
My father’s hand gently covered mine, tearing me out of my thoughts. His brown eyes filled with sadness, he said, “Honey, you’re only twenty-eight. It’s very early to be thinking you should settle down. Don’t compare yourself to your sister and brother, okay?”
Under my breath, I answered, “Especially when you haven’t dated for real in eight years.”
I knew my father heard what I said, which only made the look in his eyes even worse. He used to get that with both Ethan and me. Now it was reserved only for me ever since Ethan got together with Summer and started his own business.
“It’s okay, Daddy. You’re right. I’m young. Too young to be settling down already.”
But I couldn’t help but wish I had at least an opportunity to be serious with someone.
Eager to change the subject, I forced myself to smile and said, “I was thinking maybe I’d take some online classes. You know, just to keep my brain sharp.”
My father’s face lit up. “That sounds great! What did you have in mind?”
“I don’t know. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how when I was little and you taught me sign language that winter when my tonsils were giving me such trouble. I still remember it all. Can you believe it?”
I watched as he signed the first thing he ever signed to me. Don’t be scared. You’re going to be fine, honey.
When he finished, I signed
back. I love you, Daddy.
I didn’t sign back what I signed that day when I was a terrified little girl in pain.
I’m scared, Daddy.
But that was exactly how I felt as I thought about how alone I’d been for so long and how I had no prospects of being anything other than alone for the rest of my life.
Scared.
Something had to change, or I’d never have a chance at the happiness Ethan and Tressa had found. I had to change.
The waitress placed our food down in front of us, and as she walked away, an idea came to me. If I had to change, then it was up to me to do it.
And out of the blue, I looked across the table at my father and said, “I think I want to move.”
The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment before they registered in his brain. A second later, he looked like someone had hit him across the face. Stunned, he sat back in his chair and said in a low voice, “Move? Where?”
Then as if he saw a light in the darkness, he sat up and smiled. “Oh, do you mean back home? I saw you at the carriage house yesterday. Were you thinking you should live there? I think that’s a great idea, honey.”
I reached over and set my hand on his. “No, Daddy. I mean move, like to somewhere like where Ethan lives.”
My father’s expression fell, like all the hope he’d momentarily felt collapsed on itself. “What about the penthouse at the hotel? Your sister isn’t living there anymore. It would be perfect.”
“I’m not a penthouse kind of girl like Tressa, Daddy.”
He shook his head and grimaced like I’d said the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “Don’t be silly. You’re my daughter. Of course, you’re a penthouse kind of girl.”
I hung my head as I tried to find the words to explain how I felt to him. “I can’t live in the hotel for the rest of my life, Daddy. I’ve been hiding there for far too long already. I don’t want to end up alone, and if I don’t do something to change that right now, I’m going to. I want to be happy with someone like Ethan and Tressa are. You understand that, don’t you?”