by Mercy Levy
“I expect to hear you singing within five minutes.” Grandmother Hattie called out after her, and Susan raised her hand to show that she had heard. She didn’t know why her grandmother so desperately wanted to refine her. The girls’ mother had done a fine job instilling manners into them both before she had passed, and neither of her daughters had forgotten them, or her.
Things had been rough as it was before Hannah had left, but ever since she had, Grandmother Hattie had focused all of her attention and instruction on her youngest grandchild. Susan had begun to wonder if her grandmother was trying to make up for Hannah’s rebellion by trying to turn Susan into the perfect little lady.
“I can’t hear you!” Grandmother Hattie’s voice drifted in from the next room, and Susan sighed. Picking up her songbook, she chose an easy song and began to sing. Her sweet voice filled the room, and for a moment Susan closed her eyes.
Singing reminded her of her mother, and even though she only remembered a few things about the woman, singing made her feel closer to both her parents. When she wanted to sing, that is. Susan suddenly stopped as Grandmother Hattie walked into the room, shaking her head.
“When will you learn? That is a high C! You keep lowering your voice as though it is a D, when it is, in fact, a C!” Her grandmother took the song book out of her hands and pointed to the note on the page. Susan apologized and tried again, but on the inside, she wanted to scream. Closing her eyes, Susan focused and tried her best to hit the right note.
She knew that regardless of whether she hit it or not, her grandmother wouldn’t be pleased with her, and her mind once again drifted to thoughts of her sister.
Wherever you are, I hope you are happier than I am.
Chapter 2 – A Wedding Arranged
“Dinner is in an hour and I expect you to be ready.” Grandmother Hattie said flatly, and Susan nodded. She had just returned from walking in the garden, taking the opportunity to get away from her grandmother’s nagging for a few minutes. However, her excursion was short-lived as her grandmother had sent the maid to find her.
“I was just about to go up and braid my hair.” She said with a smile, but her grandmother shook her head.
“Braids are childish. You are sixteen-years old; a young woman. It’s high time you started wearing your hair in a more appropriate style. I will send Mildred up to help you – oh, and I want you to wear your green dress as well.” Grandmother Hattie was fidgeting with the ribbons in Susan’s hair, and Susan gave her a puzzled look.
“My green dress? But I only wear that on special occasions. I thought this was just a casual dinner?” She was beginning to suspect that her grandmother hadn’t been entirely honest with her, but her question was met with a laugh.
“My Dear! As I said, you have grown into a young woman, and it is high time you started acting like it. We are hosting a dinner in our home tonight, and as a young lady, you need to rise to the occasion. Now, go on upstairs and Mildred will be up directly.” Her grandmother gave her a push toward the staircase, and Susan reluctantly obeyed.
She closed the bedroom door behind her went to her closet, taking her time to look through the dresses that hung there. She had many different dresses in various designs. Mostly, she wore simple patterns, but the green dress was her favorite and was reserved for best.
Pulling it out of the wardrobe, Susan smoothed a hand down the sage-green silk taffeta and took in the delicate lace details for a moment, before slipping out of the dress she was currently wearing. She pulled on the green gown, then turned as Mildred knocked on the door.
“Come in.” She called and the maid appeared.
“Mrs. Greene has requested that I arrange your hair for you.” She explained as she walked into the room, and Susan nodded.
“I know, she feels that I have outgrown my braids, but I’m not so certain I agree. What do you think, Mildred?” She asked, but Mildred simply shook her head.
“It’s not my place to say, Ma’am. But I think you’re going to like what I do.” She picked up a brush and began pulling it through Susan’s hair, speaking softly to herself as she did so. Susan liked Mildred; the two girls were close in age, but led such vastly different lives.
Mildred never spoke of her own family or where she had come from, and she had an endearing habit of talking to herself as she worked. Although Grandmother Hattie would become angry with her for doing so, Mildred would often forget and talk to herself anyway.
Susan had learned to ignore it when Mildred spoke to herself, as she often didn’t even realize she was doing it. It didn’t bother Susan, and her mind began to wander.
She could feel Mildred pulling her hair up into a bun, but her mind was on her sister. Hannah was older than sixteen when she had left and she had worn braids. Susan wondered if her sister still wore braids, or if she had chosen to wear it in a bun.
Suddenly, Mildred turned her around, and smiled.
“What do you think?” She asked, stepping aside so Susan could see herself in the full-length mirror. Susan couldn’t help but gasp. She did look a lot older with her long, chestnut hair pulled into a tight bun. She smiled at herself, amazed at how the green dress showed off her now womanly figure.
The shade of green in the dress matched her light green eyes perfectly, making them shine even brighter than before.
“I think you’re ready.” Mildred said with a smile. Susan thanked her and looked at herself once more, struck by her own beauty.
Her happiness faded quickly however, as she walked through the door and began descending the stairs. She could hear Mr. Finley’s voice coming from the dining room, and her grandmother laughing enthusiastically at everything he said.
It was going to be a long evening.
“Your grandmother tells me that you have been taking singing lessons.” Mr. Finley said as he turned to Susan. Her heart sank, but she forced a smile and nodded.
“Indeed. Grandmother feels that it is important for a woman to know how to sing.” She said, hoping the subject would soon be changed.
“Your grandmother is a very wise woman. I must say I am amazed at what a job she’s done raising you!” He gave Susan a look that made her feel very uncomfortable, and she fidgeted in her seat.
“I think it’s time we told her, don’t you?” Mr. Finley asked as he glanced at Grandmother Hattie. She nodded and smiled.
“Told me what?” Susan asked, looking from one to the other and feeling increasingly panicked as she did so.
“Susan, Mr. Finley has asked for your hand in marriage, and I have told him we gladly accept.” Grandmother Hattie said with a smile. Susan’s mouth dropped open in disbelief, and her mind immediately began spinning. She wanted to say a hundred things all at once, but nothing came out.
“But I… I can’t… I don’t think…” Susan’s voice trailed off, and the smile faded from Mr. Finley’s face. He looked first at Susan, then to her grandmother.
“Oh, the girl doesn’t know what she is talking about. Yes, she would be thrilled to be your bride. She’s just surprised is all. Susan, I think now would be an excellent time for you to retire. I have other business I need to discuss with Mr. Finley.” Her grandmother smiled, but there was a cruelty in her eyes that Susan did not miss.
She excused herself from the table and walked quickly out of the room, suddenly, realizing why her grandmother had been so insistent that she wear the green dress, and wear her hair in a more mature fashion.
As soon as Susan was out of sight of the dining room she broke into a run, fighting the tight feeling that was growing in her chest.
When she got to her room, she threw herself onto her bed and burst into tears.
She continued to sob into her pillow until she was claimed by sleep.
Chapter 3 – Running Away
Susan woke the next morning and looked down at her dress. She had always loved her green dress, but it was now horribly rumpled from having slept in it. She slowly climbed out of bed and looked at herself in the mirror, hardly recognizing her
reflection.
Her hair was still in a bun, although much of it had escaped and long strands now hung around both sides of her face; her eyes were red and puffy from crying the night before.
Susan felt doomed; she couldn’t marry Mr. Finley, she just couldn’t. He was much too old and too selfish. He was even older than her grandmother, making him old enough to be her grandfather. He was an angry man who drank far too much, and who was disliked by most of the people in the town.
The only people Susan knew who liked him were other wealthy men and women like her grandmother. They lived to gather and talk about the money they had, and all they cared about was making more of it. Susan knew that her grandmother didn’t care about her happiness, she was merely trying to secure more assets for herself.
If Susan were to marry Mr. Finley, it would surely mean that her grandmother’s estate would grow, either by way of a windfall from Susan’s new husband, or by the increased influence and status in society her grandmother would enjoy. Susan shuddered at the thought of such a marriage. She would be forced to attend all the events her husband went to, and she would be forced to stand by his side, smiling, through all of it.
Her life would continue as it had been the past ten years, just with a different dictator. The only way out of it would be death.
“As old as he is, he’ll probably die in the next couple years, and I’ll be stuck raising children under my grandmother’s critical eye.” Susan shuddered again at the thought, then pulled her hair out of the bun it was in. She changed into a fresh dress and splashed her face with water, washing away the tear tracks.
She pulled her hair up once more, although she was tempted to wear it in braids to annoy her grandmother. Susan gave her reflection a smile, but she could see in her own eyes how little she meant it. She sighed as the smile faded, then walked back over to her bed and collapsed onto it.
She didn’t want to leave her room, and she certainly didn’t want to see her grandmother. She knew that after her reaction the night before, she would be lectured, and she knew her grandmother would never reconsider the decision she had made.
A knock on the door caused Susan to jump. To her relief, Mildred appeared with a small tray of food, and set it on the bed next to her.
“Mrs. Greene requested that I bring you this up here today.” She said with a smile, and Susan’s face hardened.
“She did? Why didn’t she want me to have breakfast with her?” Susan gave Mildred a searching look, and could see that the girl was incredibly uncomfortable.
“Ma’am, your grandmother wishes for you to remain here until the wedding. I’m going to bring you your meals on a tray like so, and I’ll remain here while you eat if you like.” Mildred was continuing to fidget, and Susan flew to her feet.
“What? I will do no such thing!” She exclaimed, but Mildred shifted on her feet uncomfortably.
“I am dreadfully sorry.” She said softly, and Susan crossed her arms.
Mildred gathered up the tray, seeing that Susan wasn’t going to touch the food, and she walked silently out of the door. Susan heard her close the door, then, to her horror, she heard a lock slide into place. Running over to the door she yanked on the handle, but it didn’t budge.
“Mildred! You let me out of here this instant!” She shouted as she pounded her fist on the door, but no answer came. Susan’s chest felt tight with anger, and she turned back into the room. Looking around, she tried to find something she could force the door open with.
Suddenly, Mildred’s words sank in. She was to be here until the wedding. She was a prisoner in her own home, and would be until she was forced into a marriage she didn’t want to a man she could never love.
Pacing back and forth, Susan tried to think of a way out of her terrible situation. Stopping, she snapped her fingers as an idea came to her.
“What did Hannah do?” She said out loud, putting her hands on her hips. She hurried over to her window and looked out. Her room was on the second floor, but if she was careful, she could climb across to the roof of the porch, and jump to the ground.
Turning away from the window, Susan began to form a plan. She wasn’t going to be forced into marrying anyone. She didn’t care what her grandmother said. If she was going to be married, it was going to be to a man she chose. Her sister ran away to become a mail-order bride.
She would do the same thing.
Chapter 4 – Mr. Reynolds
The train whistle blew, and Susan’s grip tightened on the small bag she held in her hand. The past few days had been such a blur, even now she couldn’t believe what she was doing.
She had waited for her grandmother to go calling on one of her miserable, wealthy friends, then she slipped out of her bedroom window unnoticed. Despite her grandmother’s great wealth, there were only a few servants in the house, and Susan knew they would be working in the kitchen rather than in the back yard.
Susan ran into town as quickly as she could, heading straight for the general store and looking for the ads that were posted on the back wall. It was the same thing her sister had done a few years prior, so Susan had a rough idea of how it all worked.
After skimming the ads, she chose a man who was looking for a mother to his son. His ad explained that he had recently become a widower, and felt that his son should have a mother in his life. He explained that he would provide for all the needs of any woman willing to marry him, and all he asked in return was that she tended to the light chores around the house, and to the needs of his child.
Susan could sense that the poster of the ad was a kind man, but the main reason she chose him was because he lived in the Oregon territory: the same part of the country her sister had been living in, the last time she had heard from her. It was a long shot, but Susan felt she may have a small chance of hunting her down.
Susan replied to the ad right there in the store, then immediately purchased a train ticket. She had saved enough of her own money to pay for the ticket herself, and she now eagerly waited for the train to leave the station.
Susan wondered what her grandmother would do when it was discovered she was missing, but she was so relieved to be leaving that she didn’t even care. Susan just hoped that her grandmother wouldn’t take out her anger on Mildred, although there was nothing Susan could do if she did.
At long last, the train began to move. As it picked up speed, Susan looked out of the window at the shops and houses that were beginning to pass by. She felt a twinge of sadness leaving her little Maryland town behind, but she knew it was for the best.
The buildings passed by the window faster and faster until suddenly the land opened up into fields, and there were only a few houses in sight. A feeling of excitement rushed down Susan’s spine, and she couldn’t help but smile to herself.
She had never done anything like this in her life, and the thought that she may be closer to finding her sister filled her with more happiness than she knew what to do with. It had been years since the two had spoken, but perhaps they would meet again after all.
Susan looked out at the crowded train station platform, suddenly feeling nervous. In his ad, Mr. Reynolds had described himself as shorter than most men, and very muscular. He had also said that he had black hair, dark skin, and brown eyes. As Susan looked out over the platform, she saw several men that matched his description.
She had, however, been very careful to describe herself in detail in her letter to him, and she now hoped that he was also there, looking for her. Standing at the top of the stairs of the train car, she tried to look over the crowd, but with the passengers coming out behind her, she soon had to move out of the way.
Suddenly, someone tapped her on the shoulder. Turning, a rush of relieve flooded over her as she saw a man matching Mr. Reynold’s description holding a small child.
“Mr. Reynolds?” She asked, extending her hand. He nodded as he shook it, an odd look in his eye.
“Miss Greene?” He asked, and she nodded.
“Please, call me
Susan, I prefer it.” She said with a laugh, and he nodded once more.
“I go by Bill, and this here is Timmy.” He leaned over so she could see the child, but the boy buried his face in his dad’s shoulder.
“He’s a little shy at first, but he’ll warm up. I’m glad you made the trip safely, and on such short notice.” He said, and Susan apologized.
“My situation was rather unique, and when I saw your ad, I knew that you were the one – so here I am.” She laughed nervously, and although he gave her a smile, there was still something about him that she couldn’t quite read. He offered to take her bag, but she declined, insisting that he had the baby so she ought to have the bag.
“I wouldn’t mind carrying both, but suit yourself.” He said with a shrug, then motioned for her to follow.
“I have already made arrangements with the sheriff; he’s waiting for us in his office.” Bill walked quickly up the street, with Susan doing her best to keep up. Her heart began to pound as she realized she was about to get married, but with resolution in her heart, she kept pace with him.
“I tried to find someone to watch Timmy so I could pick you up alone, but no one was able to.” Bill said as he held the door open for her. Susan assured him it was fine with her that the little boy was there, too.
“After all, if I am going to be part of the family, he should be here when that happens.” She said with another nervous laugh. Bill smiled once more, but Susan could see there was pain in the smile. She wanted to ask him about it, but pushed the idea out of her mind.
This was the first time they had ever spoken, and they were about to get married.
If there was anything she needed to know, she could find out about it later.
Chapter 5 – A New Life
Susan had never spent much time imagining what her wedding day would be like, but she never thought it would be like this. She quickly recited the things she was told to say, but the entire time she couldn’t get her mind off her sister. To think she could now be in the same area as Hannah was thrilling, and she silently prayed she would find her somehow.