But when the man had reached out to touch Kallie’s hand and Kallie had bent her head as if the very touch had broken her, Darrin had pulled on his pants and headed toward the front door, calling Gauntlet after him.
Then he’d felt stupid, standing there half-dressed, while the guy had tried to stare him down. Kallie hadn’t looked his way, hadn’t even acknowledged his hello or his wave, and that made things even worse. He wished he’d stayed inside. He wished he’d dropped the puppy off at the pound, instead of coming here. Where so far he’d got bit, had squealed in pain, and managed to embarrass himself at least twice more.
‘Howdy,’ the man said, giving him a slow half-nod under his cowboy hat. He wore dark jeans, a pair of work gloves tucked in the back pocket, his checked shirt rolled up to the elbows. He looked real, like a man Darrin might have liked in another place, in another time. But right now, he wasn’t sure of anything.
‘Be seeing you,’ the man said to Kallie as he pulled himself into the truck. ‘Think about it. Season opens in just a couple weeks. Enough time for you to make your pay.’
The man got into his truck, lifting one finger off the steering wheel, either in a flip-off or a wave, and then pulled out and down the long driveway. The horses didn’t even lift their heads at the sound.
Kallie was still standing in the driveway where the man had left her. She looked deflated, smaller, like all the air had gone out of her somewhere between the house and here. Darrin wanted to put his lips to her mouth, to blow her back into life, into joy.
‘Kallie?’ he asked.
She flapped her hand at him, a half-gesture of go-away, plus something else he didn’t understand. Even with her head down, her hair falling over her face, he could see she was crying, the tear trails glossing her cheeks.
‘What happened?’ he asked. This time she did look up, her eyes narrow, the laugh-lines that he’d traced earlier completely disappearing. He was suddenly sure she was going to be angry, or flippant, that she was going to say, ‘Nothing,’ in that pissed off tone that meant everything, that meant she was going to stalk off. It was one of the things he’d hated the most about the models he worked with; their inability to have an honest conversation when things were hard. In fact, he became so sure she would respond like that, that he could feel the weight in his chest already, the loss of her.
Finally, she released a long slow breath and then spoke. ‘It’s a long story. And complicated.’
He felt himself recoil from the words as though they were so unexpected he could feel them sinking into his skin. He had no idea how to react to that, but he still felt this wonderful sense of relief, of her ability to truly talk about things.
Gauntlet pounced between them, stalking a bug between their feet. Darrin watched the puppy for a second, unsure how much to push her. He bent down and scooped the puppy up, then held him out to Kallie. She took him instantly, curled her arms around the ball of fur and then lifted him up to kiss his puppy nose.
‘Careful,’ Darrin teased, wanting nothing more than to see her smile. ‘You’ll make me jealous.’
Her smile, when it came, was quick and more full of sadness than he would have liked.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked finally.
‘Yes,’ she said, surprising him again. ‘But not quite yet. Could I have a little time?’
He nodded, suddenly glad he didn’t have to speak. Something had hit him in the throat, an emotion or a sense of hope, something so big that he wasn’t sure he could have got words out around it. He hadn’t felt that in a long, long time and he suddenly realised that he was in far more trouble than a horse bite, a stray puppy and a bit of embarrassment.
Chapter Five
SHE SHOULD HAVE RIDDEN Toddy – he needed the practice more than the others, but her head wasn’t on straight and it wouldn’t be fair to ask him to behave when she couldn’t give him the attention he needed. So she grabbed a bridle and hunted down Memphis, a middle-aged mare that had been her first rescue. Memphis rarely went faster than a slow canter, but she didn’t need a saddle and she wasn’t likely to reach around and bite Kallie in the knee while her mind was elsewhere.
They headed out along the back pasture and then into the woods, following the wide truck trails at first and then threaded off into the smaller footpaths and deer tracks. Memphis’ wide, warm back swayed beneath Kallie, their pace something barely above a meander. When Kallie had been young, her nana had owned all this land. It had been a horse farm then, for boarding and riding. Kallie had adored the horses, the barn, her nana’s cookie-smelling house. But the woods had scared her. Dark and closed-in, she’d felt like she was being watched or pursued.
As an adult, she’d lost much of her fear, but still felt like the woods carried something magical and inexplicable, something that was best treated with respect and not disturbed. What Erik wanted to do – bring in hunters, men with their big voices and big guns to sit in shelters and shoot deer for sport – it wasn’t something that felt right to Kallie. And yet, she knew she was behind on her payments. When she and Erik had been a couple, he’d mostly supported her through those early months of starting Safe Haven. The farm brought in a little when she sold a recouped animal or did training or boarding on the side, but never enough to sustain it. She was grateful to Erik, but when she’d realised they weren’t working as a couple any more, when he’d started using the money as a power thing over her, she’d ended it. And then she’d had to go to Ted at the bank and ask for an extension. It hurt in all kinds of ways, mostly her heart and her pride, but what hurt worse was realising she couldn’t see any good way out of the dilemma. If she took Erik up on his offer, she’d be able to save the farm, but at a cost. And he’d expect her to come back to him; she’d seen in it his eyes, in the way he’d touched her hand. In the way she’d let him.
And then there was Darrin. Darrin of the blue eyes and ice-melting smile. Darrin of the stray puppies and savoury kisses. Darrin, who’d asked for her to kiss him, who’d arched beneath the very touch of her hands as though he hadn’t probably touched or fucked in far too long. Darrin who had made her wet with want a hundred times today already.
Darrin who had asked her if she’d wanted to talk, and when she’d asked for time, he’d said OK, just like that. No guilt, no fear, no pressure. Anyone else who’d asked, she would have said she was fine. She’d even expected to say, ‘No, I’d rather not talk about it.’ But what had come out was something else, as though she was considering opening up her entire life’s story to some near-stranger. What was it about this guy that made her want to just invite him in?
Maybe it was the way he seemed to know what she needed. How he’d given her the puppy first, something to hold on to, and then had been a quiet presence while she’d steadied herself. She didn’t think it was easy for him, the staying quiet for as long as he did. She wanted to say how she appreciated that, but the words were all tangled up somewhere between her chest and the puppy, who’d been busy attempting to lick her mouth.
Erik. Darrin. Gauntlet. The farm. Herself. At least three of those needed saving. And she had no idea how to do any of it.
As they ambled along, Memphis snorting occasionally at the wayward rabbit or squirrel that sprinted away from their movement, Kallie put a plan together. In order to save the farm, she’d say yes to Erik. She had to. It meant that much to her.
But in the meantime, she was going to go back home and continue what she’d started with the incredibly hot, incredibly sweet man in her bed. If he even was still in her bed.
Kallie had a mental picture of Darrin as she’d left him hours before, mostly naked, the lean muscles of his chest and biceps. The way he’d moaned lightly the first time she’d touched his cock, how it had jumped lightly beneath her fingers. The sweet taste of his mouth. How much she’d been anticipating tasting him, tonguing his length.
What the hell was she doing out here? If she had demons that needed handling out among the trees, they could certainly wait.
>
Nudging Memphis into a soft canter, she urged the mare quickly back toward home. They broke from the trees at a slow run, slipping across the pasture just in time to catch the first strands of sunset over the pines. A couple of days, Shar had said. Kallie could do a lot in a couple of days, she realised. Then Darrin would be gone, Gauntlet would be gone and she could go back to Erik. She could save them both and Safe Haven. She just couldn’t figure out how to save herself.
By the time Kallie had Memphis cooled down and thing cleared up around the barn, it was nearly full dark, only a few streaks of grey across the lower sky. She’d checked the driveway before starting the chores, just to see if the thing with Erik had scared Darrin away. Darrin’s motorcycle was still there, shining in the falling light. It made her feel both giddy and nervous, but mostly it left her filled with a kind of hot, delighted desire. She would be throwing hay and the scent of him would hit her, or she’d hear the way he’d asked her to come and kiss him, and she would be filled with a longing that shuddered through her and left her gasping. And laughing a little too – she hadn’t even managed to have sex with the man, and here she was, breathless at the very thought.
She was standing in Toddy’s stall, crooning to him, a carrot on her flat palm, waiting to see if he’d come and take it, when she realised what she was doing out here. All she’d wanted to do was come home and fuck the man, but now she was here she hadn’t even gone in to try and find him. She was, instead, sing-songing to a big dumb scared horse about how big dumb and scared he was.
You chicken, she chided herself. You’re afraid to find out if the sex is any good. And you dare call Toddy a big baby.
It was true. Darrin was the perfect play toy, here and then gone, sexy and sweet and clearly as in lust with her as she was with him. And beautiful. Those eyes that had flipped her right-side up and upside down again with barely a glance.
She tossed the carrot into Toddy’s feed bin with a half-hearted apology, and nearly ran out the stall door, chiding herself for being such a fool.
Kallie tore into the house, the front door slamming behind her, only to realise that the house was dark and nothing was moving inside. The quiet tick-tick of the wind up alarm was louder than it should have been, and she wasn’t surprised to look at the dog pillow and realise that Gauntlet wasn’t sleeping on it.
The bedroom had a light on and she went that way, stopping outside the door at the sight of both Darrin and the dog, curled together, sound asleep. He was still half-dressed, shirtless, Gauntlet tucked against his chest, one puppy paw thrown over Darrin’s arm. Darrin’s hair was damp, which made it darker and curlier, and it smelled like her shampoo.
She stood looking down at them, watching the rise and fall of puppy belly, the soft movement of Darrin’s eyes behind his lids. Even with those blue eyes hidden, even sound asleep, there was something dynamic about him, something that called to her. She wanted to run her bare hands over his skin, to feel the breath that he drew, to slip her fingers into his jeans and feel the dark hair that rested there, coiled and wiry.
His breathing changed slightly, so that she wondered if he was awake or just shifting in his sleep, when he said, ‘I can feel you.’
‘I’m not touching you,’ she said.
‘I feel you staring.’
‘Would you like to feel me doing other things?’
One eye opened, blue as a gem. ‘Yes.’
‘Like what?’
The other eye opened, and his voice, already husked with sleep and dream, dropped to a whisper. ‘Can we get rid of the puppy before I tell you? I don’t want to corrupt him.’
Not bothering to reply, she scooped the drowsing puppy up and cradled him, then deposited him on the pillow with the ticking clock. He wriggled, whining, and she stood over him, holding her breath, afraid to move lest she wake him. If she had one more interruption today – from an ex, from herself, from a puppy – without getting to have sex, she thought she might explode.
Chapter Six
THANKFULLY, GAUNTLET SETTLED BACK in, although she didn’t know how much free time she had before he woke, and she practically ran back to the bedroom.
Darrin was fully awake now, lying on the bed, one hand stroking his cock through the fabric of his jeans, his grin somewhere between sheepish and excited.
‘I couldn’t wait,’ he said.
‘I was only gone for two minutes,’ she said, but there was something in his desire, his confession – she’d never known anyone so upfront about his wants – that made her instantly wet, a tumbling river of want that swept through her.
‘And hours before that ...’ He stretched the word out like a little kid who’d been waiting for a treat, a half-believable pout forming on his face at the end of it.
‘Well, then,’ she said. ‘Who am I to stop you? By all means, please continue.’
‘But ...’ That pout. On most guys, it would look stupid or needy. On him, it was just so fucking adorable, and somehow – she had no idea how – hot. ‘You’re here now. And I have been on the road for ...’ His expression was thoughtful, and she got the impression that if she wasn’t in the room, he would have been counting on his fingers. ‘... many weeks. Which means I am very, very, very tired of being left to my own devices by now.’
On the road that long. She realised that although she knew why he was travelling, she didn’t really know who he was, or what he was hoping for, or where he’d come from. Most of the men she’d slept with had grown up here, or moved here years ago, she knew their whole lives, their dating history, their futures. This man, enigma wrapped in a riddle, a phrase she’d always loved, but had never gotten to use about someone before.
She stood a long moment, her arms crossed over her shoulders, taking the sight of him in yet again. Wide shoulders, muscled. The smooth chest, with just enough hair that made her want to snuggle up against it. The lean hips, the curve of his cock beneath the curve of his fingers and fabric.
‘Oh, please,’ he said. ‘You’re a horrible tease. And by horrible, I mean not a very good one. Come and kiss me again. I’ve waited very patiently, for a very long time, for someone like you to kiss me again.’
There was something buried there, in his words, something beyond lust, but she didn’t let herself hear it. Instead, she shook it away with a joke.
‘Someone like me?’
‘Someone exactly like you.’
She went to him, his hand taking hers to pull her onto the bed, on top of him, and then they were kissing again. His tongue opened her lips, insistent, searching, his body pushing upward to meet hers, the length of his cock pressing into the hollow between her thighs.
‘Wait,’ he said, and he pushed her up by the shoulders until he could look into her eyes. In the near-dark, they were a purpled grey, and she couldn’t stop looking at them, even as some part of her registered that he was pushing her away. ‘I need to know something ...’
Her gut tightened and she could feel her face doing that thing that it did, also tightening, a frown probably, a look of fear too. She swallowed it away the best she could. Whatever he asked, she would tell him the truth. ‘OK.’
‘If another truck comes up the drive, are you going to jump out of bed again, leaving me naked and hard and then run away for hours? Because I’m OK with a little kinky power-play, but that’s not really ...’
‘Shut up,’ she said, and wriggled out of his grip until she could kiss him again, taking charge this time, opening his mouth with the press of her lips and tongue, urging him harder against her, nipping at his lips when they broke apart. He pressed his mouth, soft, open so she could feel his breath, against the crook of her neck, down to her shoulder, up to her ear. She could hear her own breath, quick exhales full of want.
When he tugged her jeans open, she felt it all the way through her body, an electric pulse of arousal. It took only a single movement – his hand slipping inside her jeans, turning to circle a single finger against her clit – and she was lost, the edges of her bo
dy no longer defined by anything except for the touch of his skin, the press of his mouth to hers.
‘Off, off, off,’ he said, the impatient one this time, tugging at her clothes just as she was at his, until they were both fully naked, feeling her nipples tighten against his chest, the length of his cock bobbing against her thigh as she shifted.
She took his cock in her fingers, loving the way its heft filled her palm, the pale length of it, the curved head that already shone with a bit of moisture.
He laughed as she curved her fist around it.
‘What?’ she asked.
‘I guess that’s the end of the kissing?’
‘No,’ she said, and she leaned down and put her lips against the curved head, inhaling just enough to taste the heated want of him. He twitched against her mouth, moaning low in the back of his throat. Parting her lips, she sucked him, feeling the slide of his smooth, clean skin, the way his erection hardened and grew as he sunk into her. She pulled away for a moment, looking up at him, loving the heated, lightly glazed expression on his face. ‘This is considered kissing, right?’
Hearing him moan, she couldn’t resist putting a hand between her thighs as she began to suck him, surprised at how wet she already was, how easily she parted for the press of her fingers.
‘Let me,’ he said, pushing her hand away, his own fingertips searching out the wettest parts of her, beginning with soft, slow strokes that made her own movements falter, her quiet gasps rising despite the way he filled her mouth, took her breath away.
His touch was exploratory, not hesitant, but waiting for her responses before he moved on, allowing her quiet moans to guide him. She tried to focus on her own movements, the push and pull of her mouth along his cock, slick and hard with want, the way his skin felt against the draw of her tongue, but she found herself unable to focus as his touch deepened against the point of her clit, circling it with ever-tighter curls.
Safe Haven (Xcite Romance) Page 4