Brave woman.
“Would’ve been happy to, darlin’.” I slipped the keys out of her hand and opened her car door. She avoided looking at me as she slid into the seat without our bodies touching.
She held out her hand for the keys, but I kept them just out of reach for an extra few seconds. “What are you going to do, Charlotte?”
The glare she sent me could’ve melted ice. “Nothing, Marcel. I won’t do a damn thing.”
“Good girl.”
She flipped me off.
I tossed the keys in her lap and walked away before I added another stupid move to my long list.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Why don’t you come over for dinner later?” Heidi asks. “Rock and Hope are going out. It’ll be fun for the three of us—”
“You and fuckface don’t want to be alone?” I ask.
She cocks her head and slips her little-sister-disapproves face on. “He’s your best friend.”
I slap a hand over my chest, pretending to be offended. “I said it with love.”
“You’re terrible. Do you want to come over or not?”
“Sure.”
“Goodie!” Heidi squeals and claps her hands together, reminding me very much of when she was a kid. How the fuck did she turn into an adult so fast? No, not an adult. A mother. A widow. Engaged to my best friend.
Jesus Christ.
“Wait a minute, what are you making?” I’m teasing but my serious tone makes her hesitate.
“Honey-garlic pork chops. Is that okay?”
Her wide-eyed expression, as if I won’t come over if I don’t approve of what’s on the menu, makes me feel a little shitty for messing with her.
“Sounds good. I’ll be there.”
Adult or not, I pull her in for a quick hug and kiss the top of her head. “Thanks, kid. You want me to bring anything?”
“Nope. Just you.”
I end up wandering out to the garage. To stare at my bike.
Not the one I destroyed in the crash that killed Mariella. An older one I keep more for sentimental reasons than anything else.
“It runs,” Murphy says from behind me.
Of course, along with everything else he’s done for me since the accident, he’d also make sure it was still functioning.
“Thanks,” I answer without turning around.
“Think you’ll be—”
I cut off that line of questioning quick. “No.”
He sighs but doesn’t venture further. “Come out to the construction site with me?” He gestures to the club’s UTV. “We can take that.”
I’d be annoyed about his consideration, except I don’t think my leg can take the hike through the woods right now.
Since he can probably sense I’m feeling like a pussy about not walking out there, he lets me drive to the freshly excavated house pad.
“Jesus, how big you making this place?”
“Big enough.”
“For what?” I ask as I shut down the UTV.
“For my family. Do you need me to elaborate?”
“Please don’t,” I grumble. I’m actually impressed though. He’s managed to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. “It looks good.”
“Z’s guy works fast. But, shit, this is going to take so fucking long.”
“No kidding. You saw how long Wrath’s place took.”
“Yeah, but he had a lot of complicated shit he wanted done. This isn’t that elaborate, but still.”
“How can I help?”
He shakes his head. “You got enough going on.”
“Bro, I’m down to three times a week for physical therapy. I have the time. Tell me what you need.”
“Give me a ride to a fight I’m in, couple weeks from now. And don’t tell your sister.”
Keeping Heidi out of club business is nothing new. This is a slightly different situation. “You want me to lie to my sister?”
“Not telling isn’t the same as lying.”
I swear I’m gonna choke him. “Seriously? Rock know you’re doing this?”
“He knows.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“I have a family to support now.”
“You’ve been earning with the club almost as long as me.”
“Yeah, and this,” he gestures toward where the house will stand, “will take about everything I got.”
“Fuck my fucking grandmother and her stupid conditions. That trust Heidi has coming would help, but she can’t touch it til she’s twenty-five.”
“I wouldn’t use that money anyway.” He seems almost offended by my suggestion. “That’s hers.”
“Axel’s life insurance come through yet?”
“No, they’re still dicking her around. But I won’t touch that money. We’re setting it aside for Alexa.”
“So getting the shit beaten out of you is the answer?”
“I’m good at it.”
“Yeah, I know you are. But how you plannin’ to support your family if you get hurt?”
“Thanks for having faith in me.”
“Blake, I have faith in you, but you need to think this through.” I raise my eyebrows. “You get hurt, you really want my sister being your caretaker?”
He snorts, then full-out laughs. “She’s already warned me that if I get hurt doing something stupid, I’m SOL.”
“Figures,” I mutter.
“Hey.” His sharp tone takes all teasing out of our conversation. “That grandmother of yours already ran Heidi down enough, so ease up.”
Interesting he brought up my grandmother because there’s something I’ve been meaning to share with him for a long time. “That’s the other thing we need to talk about.”
“What?”
“My mother. Make sure Heidi stays away from her.”
He crosses his arms over his chest and widens his stance. “Marcel, how long have we known each other?”
“Forever.”
“Right. There anyone else you’ve ever talked about this with?” He taps his chest, indicating all the bad stuff we both hold inside.
“No.”
“Then knock your cryptic bullshit off and spit it out.”
“Remember how close an eye I kept on Heidi?”
He nods because for the first couple years of her life, Heidi was rarely out of my sight. I couldn’t trust my mother to take care of Heidi. As she got older, neglect wasn’t my only concern. It was the boyfriends my mother had sniffing around that worried me. Especially after I found one of them trying to lure Heidi into her bedroom to “play.”
“You remember all the guys my mom used to have hanging around the house?”
He snorts. “Yeah.”
“One of them always gave me the creeps. He was too interested in Heidi.”
Blake’s face turns red with rage. “Go on,” he urges in a low voice tight with anger.
“I don’t think anything happened. I had a talk with her about not being alone with anyone but you or me.”
“That when you started sleeping on her bedroom floor?”
“No way was one of those creeps gettin’ near her.” I don’t know how to voice the worst part. The part that made me do something I now regret.
“Jesus Christ. All these years…how could you not tell me something like that?”
Blake’s been my little brother since the day I unofficially adopted him on the school playground. Yeah, he helped me take care of Heidi and I introduced him to the club and lots of other things, but I also always tried to protect him in my own way. “You were a kid. I didn’t want you involved.”
“Didn’t want me involved? Marcel, I’ve been ‘involved’ pretty much her entire life. You knew how much I cared about her. Now, she’s going to be my wife—”
A wave of irritation rolls through me, but I push it away. “I’m aware. I don’t want her to know this. Ever.”
“She’s stronger than you think.”
“It’s not about that.” Christ, the guilt threatens to overwhelm me, but I
can’t lie to Blake. I need him to understand how important it is that Heidi stays away from our mother.
“I tried to warn my mother. Figured she probably didn’t realize what was happening since she was bombed most of the time.” Even all these years later, anger burns through my veins remembering that conversation.
“Yeah?” Murphy prompts.
“She…almost…I got the most fucked-up feeling. Like she didn’t care what he did to her daughter as long as he kept giving her money. Like…maybe she knew what the guy wanted and didn’t see what the big deal was.”
Blake just stares at me. “She was a little girl.”
“Yeah. So, I came home from school one day and caught this fucker alone with Heidi. I didn’t like what I saw and heard. Got her the fuck out of there and brought her down to the clubhouse.”
“Okay,” he says slowly. “That’s where we went when shit was bad at home.”
“Well, this time, I told Grinder. He and Lucky had a chat with the guy and my mother. She dumped us at Gram’s not long after.”
“Did you tell Rock?”
“No.” I couldn’t stand the idea of Rock looking at me or my sister differently. Knowing what kind of mother we came from. My fists open and close. “My grandmother was vicious. Hated me because she always thought I was a bastard. Used to claim I looked nothing like either of my parents. I couldn’t stay there. But at least I knew Heidi was safe.” My throat’s so tight I can barely get any words out. “Thought she was safe.”
All at once, Blake gets what’s bothering me. “Bro, whatever that witch did to Heidi is not on you.”
“Yes, it is. I’m the reason my mother split. I moved out of my grandmother’s and left Heidi all alone there.” Pain rips through me just thinking about it.
“She threw you out. Didn’t give you much of a choice,” Blake reminds me.
“Because I was an angry asshole. I should’ve kept my mouth shut and looked out for Heidi better.”
“Jesus Christ, Marcel. We were fucking kids. Each option shittier than the next. What were your choices? Foster care? Letting her get molested by your mother’s fuck-buddies, or—”
“Or lettin’ her get abused by my grandmother.”
He steps closer, practically in my face, but his voice is all brotherly concern. “That’s not your fault. You were a kid trying to do the best you could.”
“My best was shit because she got hurt anyway. I was earning enough a couple years later. Could have afforded to have her living with me. I didn’t want to give up all the partying and bullshit we were into. I thought she needed a female and as much of a bitch as my grandmother was, I never thought she’d hurt her.”
His gaze strays to the freshly dug earth. “I was there too, Marcel. I knew she was unhappy. I thought she missed her mom…missed us…or you know, your grandmother was strict. Normal shit. I never thought she was being hurt either.” He lowers his voice. “I’m just as much to blame. I should have seen it too. Should have asked her more questions.”
“Wasn’t your job. It was mine. I failed her.”
“Bro, Heidi loves you so much.” He stops and clenches his fists. “That motherfucker,” he says under his breath. “Axel was a dick for telling us the way he did. He only did it to hurt you. Heidi never wanted you to know because she didn’t want you blaming yourself.”
“How fucked up is that? My baby sister tryin’ to protect me?”
“Because she loves you.” Blake’s fierce green eyes drill into me like he wants to permanently stamp the words on my forehead. “That’s what you do for people you love.”
“You don’t get it.”
He takes a few steps closer, pushing right into my space. “I fucking get it, you asshole. You’re the one not getting it. She was right too.”
“I don’t want her living in some fantasyland where she thinks even though our mother couldn’t handle being a mom, she’ll be a good grandmother to Alexa or some shit.”
He stares at me for a few minutes, and boy is it fucking chapping my ass to ask Blake about shit that concerns my sister. But she’s his responsibility now. His to take care of. Not mine. Not anymore.
“I hear what you’re saying. They haven’t been in contact again.”
“Thank you.”
Heavy discussion over, Blake slaps my arm. “Let’s clean up for dinner. Heidi’s excited to have you over. And I don’t want to be late.”
An hour later I’m knocking on Rock’s front door and it’s fucking weird when my sister answers.
I shove the flowers I ran down to Ward’s to pick up at her and she squeals. “Thank you!”
Murphy’s on the floor with Alexa and glances up. “Long time no see, bro.”
I snort and wave at Alexa. “Whatcha doing down there?”
“Tummy time. I think she’s going to start crawling soon,” Heidi explains.
After taking off my boots, I crouch down a few feet away from Alexa. She reaches for me and lets out a frustrated baby whine.
Murphy laughs. “You’re belly bait. Watch.”
Alexa rocks back and forth until she finally rolls once. She stops and raises herself on her little arms looking around before repeating the motion. When she’s close enough, I scoop her up and pepper her cheeks with kisses.
“Good job, baby.” I drop down onto the couch and set her back on the floor next to Murphy. “You did the same thing, Heidi. Around the same age too.”
“Crazy, right?” she yells from the kitchen.
“Yeah, except I never knew what she’d be crawling on in Mom’s house,” I mutter.
Murphy snorts. “It’s amazing any of us made it out of childhood alive.”
“I think it’s why we don’t have any allergies,” Heidi says, coming out of the kitchen to hand me a can of seltzer. “Who knew Mom’s filthy house would be a blessing.”
“Should we toss Alexa outside and let her roll around in the dirt? Is that what you’re saying?” I tease.
“No,” she answers in a stern tone I’m not familiar with my sister using.
Alexa shows off her rolling skills a few more times before Heidi calls us to the table. She pops Alexa in a high chair next to me and sets a bowl with a small amount of mush and a brightly colored baby spoon in front of her. “If you don’t want to help her, switch places with me.”
“It’s fine. What am I doing?”
Heidi waits until Alexa grasps the spoon, then gently puts her hand over Alexa’s and guides her through scooping the food and putting it in her mouth.
“I can do that.” I motion for her to hand over the spoon.
“Watch out or you’ll end up wearing it,” she warns me.
“What is it?” My lip curls at the bowl of mush.
“Carrots and chicken.”
Murphy gives me a warning look. Like if I tease my sister about specially preparing baby food, he’s going to kick my ass.
Once Heidi’s convinced everyone has enough food, she finally takes the chair next to Murphy.
“We set up our appointment with Charlotte,” Heidi informs me.
Alexa screeches and something wet lands on the side of my neck. “Did you just throw your dinner at me?” I ask, grabbing a napkin and wiping it over me. Alexa giggle-gurgles in response. “Silly girl.”
I turn and take the spoon out of her hand. Feeding her gives me time to think over Heidi’s announcement.
“I didn’t really have a chance to tell her what we needed to see her for, but at least she could squeeze us in tomorrow.”
“That’s good,” I answer, hoping I sound disinterested. “I’ll go with you and watch Alexa if you want.”
She cocks her head, but doesn’t ask me the obvious question, which is “Why not just watch Alexa here?”
I gesture to my bad leg. “It’ll be good for me to get out.”
Her bottom lip trembles and I deserve a punch in the neck for pulling on my sister’s pity-strings.
“Thanks.”
After dinner, I help M
urphy clear the table while Heidi puts Alexa to bed. He slaps my arm. “Why you wanna go with us tomorrow?”
“I told you why.”
“Bullshit.” He narrows his eyes. “This isn’t some fucked-up way to try to get between us is it?”
Annoyed he’d even ask that, I snap. “No.”
“Then why go all the way downtown—” I can practically hear him putting the pieces together. “Hold up. Didn’t you try to get in her pants when she represented Heidi?”
“What makes you say that?”
“She’s an attractive woman under thirty, so I just assumed.” He smirks at me.
“Shut up.”
“You struck out?”
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”
“Ohhh, she blew you off? Didn’t fall for the Teller Charm?”
No one knows how to piss me off quite like Blake.
I gut-punch him and he grunts.
“Gettin’ soft there, buddy.”
“Fuck you,” he grumbles. “I can take you down with one hand.”
“Don’t you dare,” Heidi says from the doorway. Arms crossed over her chest. Wearing her stern face, she seems a lot older than nineteen.
“He started it.” Murphy jerks his thumb in my direction.
She shakes her head and lets out a huge yawn.
“I’m going to head out. What time do you need me here?” I ask.
“Our appointment is at eleven-thirty.”
We make arrangements to meet by the garage at eleven. The entire walk back to the clubhouse, Charlotte’s on my mind. I’m eager to see her even though I shouldn’t be.
I have no business even thinking about getting involved with someone. Not when I barely remember who I was before the accident.
Besides, she didn’t want to know me then. What makes me think she’ll want to now?
CHAPTER SIX
Fear and curiosity swirl in my belly as I prepare for my first appointment of the day. I never know what to think when a former client calls me. Usually it’s not for good reasons. I’d always hoped Heidi would end up doing well, so I’m curious about why she needs my services again. I’d been late for court, and she’d been vague on the phone.
I guess I’ll find out soon.
I hate myself for wondering how her brother’s doing.
Beyond Reckless Page 6