“Yeh, hir,” she answered, unable to keep from responding even though her mouth was occupied.
They didn’t raise them high above her and drip a tiny dot of wax on stomach.
No.
Each of them tipped their candle over, drawing a line across each of her nipples.
“Fuuuuuuh,” she wheezed and squirmed as the hot wax cooled on her skin.
There was no time to acclimate to the sensations. Dot after dot, line after line, struck her skin.
It wasn’t that hot.
She knew it wasn’t, especially not with how hot her skin was to start with.
But it felt like fire racing along her nerve endings.
It zipped down to her clit, where it pulsed with increasing need for release. Then up to her head, flashing with the need for more.
They covered her chest, her torso, her thighs. Her mound. Even the sensitive underside of her exposed arms. A few dots were even added to her throat and collarbones.
They didn’t speak.
It wasn’t needed.
She knew what they required.
Her submission.
And she’d never been more willing to give it to them.
Her fingers moved on their own, processing the pain and the desire.
Cool air moved across the wax and she blinked, trying to focus on the men instead of the ceiling.
The candles were out—where they had gone, she had no clue—but each of her men blew on the red color, hardening it.
Her torso jerked as Nick moved toward her, loosening the belt at his waist. He lifted her head and removed the pillow beneath it, then slowly released her.
“Ungh.”
The table. It was the perfect height to suck his cock.
But he didn’t free the erection straining his pants. He lifted the cherry from her mouth and she licked her lips, swallowing the tiny amount of juice that trickled to the back of her throat.
“Good girl, Jenna.”
The ache to hear it from Ian as well swelled inside her chest.
She curled her toes at his words and closed her eyes, feeling more exposed than she had just a moment before.
“Mine.” His raw voice startled her as his cock touched her lips.
Her mouth opened and he pushed inside with a groan.
“Fuck. Your tongue. Your teeth. Just. Fuck.”
He moved, thrusting his shaft along her tongue and it got harder as she sucked on him. Her cheeks hollowed out as he pulled back and she moaned as his flavor intoxicated her.
She didn’t know it was coming.
The first strike of Ian’s cane.
It landed across her mound, making her jump as it cracked the dried wax.
Nick pulled his cock out for two seconds.
“Oh God.” Her voice shocked her and she was glad Nick gagged her again on his cock. He shoved in deep, almost to the back of her throat as Ian struck her a handful of times.
Her tits, her thighs, her stomach.
A rapid-fire assault meant to steal every rational thought in her head and reduce her to nothing but sensation.
Nick moved back and she sucked in a quick breath.
He fucked his cock past her lips in shallow thrusts and she breathed him in each time. His scent enveloped her and she closed her eyes.
One of them palmed her breast, then dug their fingernails into the wax, peeling it off.
The table shimmied for a second and then she felt it.
Ian.
Naked, climbing between her thighs as he shoved them wide.
He dragged his cock through the wetness along her core and then plunged into her.
There was no push and pull, nothing gentle about the way he took her.
He was staking ownership on her.
She knew it in every thrust and arched her back.
Nick fucked her throat and she struggled to breathe.
It was too much and not enough.
An orgasm flared out of nowhere when she realized she was getting exactly what she thought she’d never have.
A ménage with two men she loved.
They didn’t know that yet but there would be time.
Nick clamped his hands on the side of her head when she tried to shake him free to ask for permission to come.
“Come, Jenna. I know what you need. Come for me, with my cock in your mouth. Swallow and I’ll come with you. Fuck yeah. Fuck. Yeah.”
His semen shot into her throat as her release ignited in her core.
She clamped down on Ian, making him grunt and her fingers strained for something to keep her grounded.
“You’re pussy’s so tight. So perfect. Come on my cock. So damn tight.”
That was what she needed. His words. His voice.
Both of them.
She didn’t need something to hold on to.
She needed them to hold on to her.
To keep her safe as her body twisted and jolted through an orgasm she didn’t know if she could survive.
They were her rocks.
She needed them so desperately, wanted them so completely it scared her.
Ian jerked inside her, coming inside a condom.
Nick pulled out with a rush and she swallowed and sucked in a breath, shaking from the lack of oxygen and loving it.
Her limbs trembled as he held her head, allowing her to lick the rest of the cum from his shaft. It jerked several times, gracing her with a small amount more that she could suck into her mouth and into her body.
Ian dragged his fingernails through the wax again. “Damn. I forgot how much I liked wax.” After several more strokes of his cock, he pulled out.
“Mmm…” she half whined, half groaned as Ian moved off the table. He scooted her body lower on the table so Nick could set her down on the padded surface. Maybe so she could relax her sore muscles.
She lay there, shaking and convincing her body to keep breathing. She grinned, knowing how pretty her marks were going to be after they removed all the cuffs.
One piece at a time, they unlatched the cuffs and blood rushed into each limb.
She tried to move but Nick stopped her. “Just be still.” His voice was harsh, growly. It made her shiver and she cracked an eyelid to look at him.
She expected him to look as happy as she felt or nearly.
But he didn’t look happy at all.
Ian didn’t either.
They both looked angry.
Panic flared inside her.
“What?” she croaked.
Neither of them looked at her and Ian walked toward the closet. She tried to pick her head up but she just didn’t have the strength.
“What’s wrong? Nick? Ian? Please talk to me.” Ian carried a robe and Nick helped her sit up. Ian draped the terry across her shoulders and belted it nearly before she could get her arms through the holes.
She got the impression it wasn’t for her comfort.
They didn’t want to see her—at least Ian didn’t. As if she were dirty? Nick wouldn’t meet her gaze either.
“Choose.”
“Wh-what?” She looked over at Ian, who had uttered the ultimatum she hadn’t see coming. “What?” She asked again because she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Choose.” Nick said it this time. “One of us. We gave you what you wanted, now choose.”
The look on his face. Fierce. Possessive. Everything she wanted but…
“We won’t share you.” Ian’s voice sliced clean through her and she clutched the lapels of the robe tightly to her chest. “This was a one-shot deal.”
Ice flooded every cell in her body and shivers racked her spine.
Sub drop had never hit so fast.
Nothing had ever happened to wreck her so completely after a scene except—
She glanced at Ian again.
He crossed his arms over his chest, shutting her out.
Nick shoved himself away from her, moving the table several inches in his fight to get away from her.
For a second, she wondered if she’d been shot.
The pain.
Emotion swamped her, sweeping her legs out from underneath her and sucking her into a cesspool of black so extreme she’d never find her way out.
Never.
What had she been thinking?
She thought they were going to give her a ménage. Full-time.
She knew better than that. They couldn’t make that work. They’d already had a fist-fight over her.
Fairytales didn’t come true. They just didn’t.
The faces of two of her best friends flashed in front of her.
Cyn’s situation with Chris and Jared was unique. They had a massive history together. They grew up together. Faced things together she couldn’t imagine, forming a bond that couldn’t be broken.
Haleigh’s dynamic with Kyle and Scott? It would never be like that for her.
Never.
“I choose neither of you.”
“Huh?”
“What?”
She slid off the table, holding on to the side to make sure her feet would hold her. They fucking better and she wasn’t going to cry.
Not in front of them. Not ever again.
Her heart lay in pieces at their feet. A heart she would have gladly given them but it wasn’t good enough.
It would never be good enough.
“I do not consent to this.” She looked between them, holding their stares. Then she bent to pick up her corset and ripped panties. She put the lacy thong in the pocket of the robe, clutched the broken shell of her armor to her chest and walked toward the door.
“You can’t leave. Not while we’re in the middle of talking about this.”
“This is not a discussion. This is nothing more than an ultimatum. I rip out half my heart, as you both stand there hoping it’s the other guy who loses. I do not consent.”
She made it to the door and into the hallway, letting the door close behind her.
She didn’t want them to follow her. She didn’t want to talk or answer questions or discuss how cruel they were. They didn’t even know it.
A door opened behind her and she cringed.
“Jenna, you okay?”
A female voice asked from a few feet behind her.
She turned around and Jillian strode up to her in her leather pants and vest with her high ponytail. She was beautiful and Jenna felt dirty.
“Been better. Gonna call it a night. See you later?”
Jillian wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her back toward the main bar area. She knew something was wrong because she asked, “I’m here if you need me, okay?”
Jenna forced her lips to curl up on the edges because that was what you did in that situation. But it wasn’t a smile. Her face felt as brittle as her emotions were. “Thanks,” she added as an afterthought.
Jillian gave her one last squeeze and a worried glance as they went in separate directions.
Jenna knew she should call the girls. Being alone wasn’t the best state of mind for her tonight but she felt trapped. Almost as if she were dying in her own body with nothing physically wrong with her.
She changed upstairs and grabbed her stuff, calling it a night on account of a broken heart.
The drive home passed in a blur.
She glanced at her broken corset beside her in the passenger seat and felt sick.
She parked her car, got out and walked toward her front door.
“You know how to keep an old man waiting.”
Jenna jumped as an older Japanese man unfolded himself from her chair on the front porch. “…Nawa?” Disbelief shut down what tiny sliver of her brain was still kicking and she just stared at the man who was the closest thing she had to a family.
“Yes. Has it been so long you have forgotten me?” He smiled and took a step toward her and then he must have seen her face or her aura or something that told him everything was very wrong. He held his arms out to her and let her come to him.
A sob broke free as she moved toward him.
Another as she wrapped her arms around his solid chest.
Her heart splintered in two as he held her and all of her sorrow spilled out into the still, dark night.
He kissed the top of her head and patted her hair.
“What have those men done know?”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
When she woke up the next morning, Nawa was still there, cooking at her stove.
She stood in the doorway watching him move about her kitchen as if he’d been there before, but he hadn’t.
The last ember of eternal hope flared in her chest when she’d woken in her bed instead of curled up in his lap on her couch.
Nothing was out of place in her bathroom, surely meaning no one had been in there. Right?
But that wasn’t the case.
He was there and making food. The rest of last night had happened as well.
The auction.
Her owners.
And then…afterward.
Exhaustion pulled at her and she slunk away as if she were a cat burglar in her own house.
“You’ll feel better after you eat. You can set the table.”
She froze, out of his sight, hoping he had only guessed she was there.
“Don’t make me burn the food coming to stare you down. Set the table.”
How did he do that?
“But I’m not hungry,” she confessed as she stepped fully around the corner and onto the cool tile.
He smiled at her petulance. “You don’t have to eat all of it but you must eat. You have an appearance tonight, yes?”
She hurriedly glanced at the Care Bears clock above her fridge.
Three. In the Afternoon?
When she crashed, she really crashed.
She scrubbed her eyes and yawned. “Yes, I have an appearance tonight. An interview. On a satellite radio show. Need to be there by eight to get prepped. It’s about…”
The plates rattled against one another when she grabbed them out of the pantry. She set the table like a good—
Tears welled in her eyes but she dashed them away.
They wouldn’t help. Not with anything.
Anger followed close on the heels of her emotions and she ripped paper towels off the roll and snatched silverware out of the drawer.
“Glad I cooked the food.”
Responding didn’t seem real bright because anything she said was going to be toxic so she poured juice for both of them and they sat down together.
It was simple food but her favorite. Grilled cheese and tomato soup.
No one made it like he did.
The ooey-gooey triangle fit perfectly in her hand as she dipped it in the soup.
It tasted even better than she remembered.
Nostalgia filled her senses and she closed her eyes, remembering being in his home, kneeling at his table as he served her the same meal. When she was lost over the same man.
I wonder if he’ll make me two sandwiches this time?
“Of course. As many as you like.”
Her eyes flipped up to his and found him staring at her.
“Tell me. What is the interview about?” He picked up the second half of his sandwich, making it easier for her to talk.
“Kink in general, my guerilla shoots, rope, the shops. Everything.”
“Why did you stop speaking about it before?”
She took another bite of food, wiping her mouth with the paper towel. “She wants to hear about the positive side of kink. The happy stuff. The finding someone that gets all of you, even the dark and gritty sides.”
“This sounds good.”
“It is but I’m not exactly in the best frame of mind, if that boo-hoo fest on your shoulder last night wasn’t a clue.”
His warm hand on her forearm, spread warmth up her arm. “You told me nothing of what went on last night. Why don’t we clean up and then we can go sit in the living room and you can tell this old man. I might even have something
wise to share.”
Her hand fit perfectly on top of his.
“I don’t want to talk about them. But a wise old man told me once that we should face our fears head-on if we expect to change them into accomplishments.”
“Wise man. You should listen to him sometimes.” He flipped his hand over, capturing hers. He gave it a squeeze. His nod toward her food was slight but effective. “Eat. You need it. Putting on a few extra pounds wouldn’t hurt you any.”
“Yes, Nawa.”
They finished eating their late lunch and cleaned up the kitchen, giving Jenna plenty of time to get her thoughts in order. Unfortunately, by the time they sat on the couch she still had no clue what she wanted to say.
“I love them.” Oh. Fuck. That definitely wasn’t what she’d wanted to start with.
Panic grew inside her but he took her hand, keeping her grounded when all she wanted to do was pace. Or flee.
“Start at the beginning and we’ll see where you end up.”
She talked for hours.
It poured out of her, nonstop until her mouth was dry and her eyes were wet.
Everything she’d kept closed off just tumbled into the space between them.
Agreeing to be with Nick and all of the reasons behind it. Him bringing in Ian. How she felt. What she wanted. Everything. And he listened to every word, nodding in encouragement when she faltered and finally he uttered one word that stopped her in her tracks.
“Fear.”
His voice shook her out of her staring across the room. “What?”
“You asked why they would do this. Why they would make you choose. Fear.”
She stared at him, but nothing else was forthcoming. “Fear of what? Me?”
“Of course.”
“But…I love them. I wouldn’t hurt them.”
“Do they know that?”
“Umm…”
“So you are guilty of not being completely honest with them. Don’t you think it could be the same from them?”
“No. No,” she said again a bit harsher. “They’re the big strong alpha males that make me weak in the knees and want to kneel at their feet with nothing more than a word. They couldn’t possibly be scared. It’s ridiculous.”
“What have I always told you about submission? Three things.”
“Choose wisely, love completely and…” Hope bloomed inside her again as she remembered something she’d almost forgotten. Something he’d told her years ago. Apparently, she hadn’t truly believed it until this moment.
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