by Dhiraj Singh
As he was driving out from the main gate of the head office, Umar saw Maru enter the gate in his luxurious sedan. Umar waved to him, but Maru was busy talking to someone on the phone. Umar’s phone rang at that moment.
“Hi, I am Maru Kapoor here. Remember me boss or already forgotten?”
“Hey Maru! What a surprise. I just crossed you at the gate. What are you doing in my office?”
“Well, I was thinking of applying to a flight simulation course I heard about. It’s pretty cool I suppose.”
“Oh that! Yes, I heard it’s very exciting for aspiring pilots. And many just have fun doing the course.”
“Yes, the fun part is what I am looking for. Maybe meeting you got me excited about flying. And maybe I am super excited about Ramaan’s upcoming movie where he plays the role of a pilot.”
“Good for you! And let’s watch Ramaan’s new movie together when it releases?”
“Done Umar! You take care.”
“You too.”
Ramaan Khanna was making a new movie under his own production house.
The movie begins on an international cargo flight, where the main pilot gets a heart attack and dies when a huge bird hits the plane’s windscreen. The flying shards of glass in the cockpit hit the eyes of the co-pilot, played by Ramaan, who gets blinded instantly. The story then revolves around how Ramaan steers the plane back to safety and crash-lands on a remote island in the Pacific, with just him and another lady flight attendant surviving. Love then blossoms on the island till one day when Ramaan miraculously gets his eyesight back, only to find the woman he loves making love to a thickly bearded man who had reached the island after a shipwreck. In a surprise climax, Ramaan’s character and the bearded man get killed by the lady.
Umar was not surprised by the weird storyline, though it reminded him of some Hollywood movie and his own experience of a bird hit.
Umar could not help asking the passenger who had narrated the story to him on a flight, “But why do both the heroes die in the end?”
“Because they had both escaped death earlier. They were both supposed to die in an air crash in the Pacific. So death was following them through the lady, who was only a medium of death,” said the passenger, who belonged to the film industry.
“Very interesting! Can’t wait to see the movie.”
Umar was excited but also a little uneasy about something. He called up his medium of love and comfort. Rajni. They had been meeting at least once a week for the past one month after declaring their love for each other.
“Hi! What’s happening Rajni?”
“A lot! I have been vomiting since morning. And I have a strong craving for pickle.”
“Oh! Must be acidity. Did you see the doctor?”
“My stupid Ramaan Khanna fan! Don’t you see his movies where the heroines get pregnant? And what do they say then?”
“What? We are pregnant?! That’s great news!” Umar could not conceal his joy.
“Yes, and we need to do something about it soon. Looks like you will need to talk to your family soon. I have discussed it with my family already. And they didn’t like it that you are a Muslim. But I told them I had other options…” Rajni paused a bit, waiting for Umar to fall into her trap.
“Options? What options?” Umar’s tone was a bit serious.
“Told them about the Pakistani passenger who had proposed to me. And also the girl in my neighbourhood who was keen to shift to my house as a live-in partner. They immediately accepted you,” Rajni ended with a hearty laugh, much to Umar’s relief.
“That’s great! I am sure my family will agree too. And I don’t think I have to give them any options like you did! But my mother has not been keeping well lately. I will inform my parents within a month, and we can start planning for our shaadi next month.”
“You mean nikaah?”
“I mean just solemnising our love for each other and giving our child a legal acceptance in society.” Umar did not fall for Rajni’s bait this time.
“Sorry baba! I was just joking,” said Rajni. They both made kissing sounds over the phone before hanging up.
Umar was in a great mood that evening. He was going to get married and become a father soon. In just a little over eleven months, from the time of the plane crash, life had given him so much. He looked up and thanked Allah and all the other gods too. With a bottle of beer in his hand, he sat down on his comfortable sofa and turned on the television.
BREAKING NEWS: Ramaan Khanna in critical condition after plane crash during shooting.
Umar was stunned. How could such a great day have such a tragic ending? How could such a great life have such a tragic accident? He increased the volume on the television. The excited newsreader, who actually looked happy reporting a breaking news instead of feeling sad about the unfortunate accident, was rattling away the sequence of events.
“This afternoon, while Ramaan Khanna was shooting for his new movie, a bird hit the engine of the plane he was in. The pilot went into a state of shock as the plane started descending rapidly. And then Ramaan, who has never had any training or experience of flying, took control of the plane and landed it on an open ground near a village in Haryana.”
The camera zoomed to the crash site where the plane was smouldering in flames.
“He was badly hurt, and the doctors are not sure if he will survive. His ribs and leg bones are fractured, and there are severe injuries to his lung and kidneys too.”
The camera zoomed to the front of the hospital in Gurgaon where Ramaan had been admitted.
“But the aviation experts are amazed at how Ramaan managed to fly the plane on his own. They say it’s an act of God. I say it’s an act of a demi-god, a superstar!”
Super stunts of the superstar from his earlier movies were then shown, with the dialogue “naam hai Ramaan, choona hai aasmaan” played between every stunt. As the TRPs (television rating points) zoomed, Umar’s heart sank. He left the beer bottle on the table and went into his room. He said a silent prayer and went to sleep without having dinner.
The next morning he got up and turned on the television before doing anything else. The news channels were still reporting the critical condition of Ramaan. Umar skipped his breakfast too, much to the concern of his family. He spent the entire morning glued to the television set. He spoke just once to Rajni who had called him after hearing Ramaan’s news.
Around lunch time, Umar’s mother walked anxiously up and down the living room, hoping her son would have his lunch at least. “Allah! Please keep Ramaan alive for my son,” Umar’s mother prayed, along with millions of his fans. Their prayers were finally answered.
The breaking news shortly flashed on the screen.
BREAKING NEWS: Ramaan, the superstar, defies death!
Umar jumped with joy and hugged his mother firmly. He was happy to have his mother’s oily biryani that day.
Far away in Kullu, the nuclear physicist-turned-sadhu had gone out to buy some medicines, when he saw the breaking news on the television in the medical shop. He smiled and told the shopkeeper, “Nobody defies death.”
22
“Hi Umar, how are you? Niraj Roy here.”
“Niraj? So good to hear from you man! Where are you?”
“I’m in Delhi for some family function. Shall we meet up some time today or tomorrow?”
“Sure! I am flying tomorrow. So maybe we can meet today itself? Where are you staying?”
“I am at the Crowne Plaza hotel in Okhla. My uncle, whose son’s wedding I have come to attend, is a rich businessman. He has arranged for most of his guests to be here.”
“Perfect! I have some work near Nehru Place later today. We can meet for a drink around 6 p.m. at your hotel itself.”
“Okay, sounds good. And it will be a good time for me too. Most of the other relatives are going for some dance ceremony this evening at my uncle’s place.”
“Done then. See you at six, Niraj.”
Umar was looking forward to meetin
g Niraj. They had met for the first time in the same month last year. In less happy circumstances. Umar thought of calling Anil too for the happy rendezvous that evening.
“Anil? Hey! What’s up?”
“Hi Umar. Good to hear from you. How are you?”
“Not bad I must say! How about you, Anil?”
“Surviving, I would say. Remember, this is the twelfth month. Have to be more careful.” Anil had never forgotten the sadhu’s words.
“Come on Anil! You still believe in that theory?! Do you know Niraj is in town and I am meeting him this evening. Why don’t you join us?”
“Umm…Yeah… But you see I have an important party to host at my restaurant this evening. Maybe tomorrow?” Anil was aware that Umar flew every alternate day of the week. And if he was in Delhi today, then he would be flying the next day. Anil did not want to take any chances. The three of them being together amounted to tempting fate. Their splits too could be hanging out together somewhere. “What if today was the day?” Anil thought.
“Oh, that’s unfortunate. I am not around tomorrow. We will miss you though. By the way, hope you have not become a coward. Are you avoiding us? That would be a real pity man.”
Umar was suspicious and threw a taunting challenge as a last bait.
Though Umar was not aware, he had inadvertently touched a raw nerve. The raw nerve became sensitive in the face of a challenge. This nerve was more pronounced in the male species. And Anil was no exception.
“Coward? And me? What rubbish! Let’s arrange for an anniversary bash on the same day of the crash last year. And let’s do it in style. Can I depend on you to plan it with Niraj and then let me know? Just don’t blame me if anything goes wrong.”
Anil had taken up the challenge like a true man. Or so he thought. He had been a management professor for a long time. He was aware that greed and fear were the two primary emotions that drove the decisions of individuals, in personal life or in business. There was no greed at play in his suggestion. There could only be fear.
Now fear gripped Umar’s mind. “What if there was a small chance that what Anil said was true? What if they became the targets of death by challenging their destiny? Why take a risk when there was no need to take one?” Umar wondered. Fear and wisdom share no common letters. Umar’s wisdom was devoured by the black hole of fear.
“Oh, that day I may have to fly. Let’s keep it the day after that? What difference does it make, right?” Umar’s fear obviously spoke.
“Of course Umar, what difference does it make? Ki fark painda?”
“Okay, will let you know Anil,” Umar concluded the conversation, wondering how Anil’s tone and words at the end resembled that of Maru Kapoor. Or maybe of all the Kapoors.
Niraj and Umar hugged each other tight. They had not met since the plane crash. Tears of joy flowed through their eyes. The joy of remembering how their lives were saved that day from the certain jaws of death.
Niraj continued hugging even when Umar felt a little uncomfortable, even when the hotel guests looked at them and started sniggering. There were emotional moments, but Niraj was feeling extra emotional that day. His emotions prevented him from letting go of Umar’s body and touch against his muscular body. Both Niraj and Umar were well-built with a flat stomach. This made their embrace very snug, leaving no gap for air between them.
“Okay Niraj, let’s go and find a table?” Umar had to literally tear himself away from Niraj.
“Yes, yes. There is one in the corner. Do you want to sit there? Just you and me.” Niraj was speaking in a very soft tone, unlike his usual rough and tough voice.
Niraj allowed Umar to lead the way towards the corner table, while he walked behind Umar. His eyes looked around on all sides before quickly casting a furtive glance at Umar’s shapely buttocks. Niraj loved to read and control others’ minds, but today he was not in control of his own mind. It seemed as though he had been a different person before Umar walked in. He was now a different person, whose feelings he had no control of.
“So how are you keeping, Niraj? Any chance of meeting any beautiful girl in Bangalore or still sticking to being a bachelor? Cheers!”
Umar gently clinked his glass with Niraj’s. They had ordered single malt with soda and ice.
“No, I have not met any girl Umar, and I am not trying to be a bachelor either. If I get the right girl, or a boy, I may consider…”
“Hold on, hold on! Did you say a ‘boy’?” Umar was grinning like he had just caught somebody in the act.
“Umar, you are a smart city boy. Don’t tell me these things still surprise you? And I was just saying that as a manner of speaking.”
“Sure, sure! Sorry chief! It is just that I have found a girl, and not a boy.” Umar hid his smile this time.
“Really? Who?” Niraj hid his anguish.
“Oh, she runs a cab service company. Her name is Rajni. Hey, come to think of it, she has the same letters as your name. Anil would freak out when he hears this.”
“Oh yes, how is Anil? He should have come too.”
Niraj grabbed the first opportunity to distract Umar from talking about Rajni.
“Well, I tried my best. But he could not make it. But tell you what, he has agreed to do a one-year anniversary, just a day after the date of the crash.”
Umar drank the rest of the drink in his glass without looking at Niraj.
“Must be his one-year theory or something!” Niraj laughed naturally for the first time that evening.
“Yes, yes, it must be that!” Umar laughed unnaturally for the first time that evening.
Niraj was a bit more in control now. Maybe the malt helped regain the lost territory in his mind. He was happy talking about his work, Nikhil bhai and life in general. Umar was also happy talking about his work, Ramaan Khanna and everything else happening in his life, which largely centred around Rajni. But every time Rajni’s name came up, Niraj deftly steered the conversation along a different course. Umar wondered if Anil had influenced Niraj so much that he was scared to even talk about a potential so-called ‘split.’
“It’s going to be a busy few weeks now, Niraj. I will plan our anniversary bash. Possibly a trip. And then will have to come back and make plans for my wedding.”
Niraj took a large sip of his malt again. Too much of the malt had now made Niraj lose control of his mind again.
“Umar, don’t be in any hurry. You know my parents had married in a hurry and they could never be happy again.” Niraj put his hands on top of Umar’s as he tried to convince him. Though Niraj had lost control of a part of his mind, his ability to play with others’ minds was still intact and active.
Umar quickly pulled away his hand and looked around to see if anyone had seen them. He heaved a sigh of relief that no one else was looking at them.
“So where do you think we should go for our anniversary trip?” This time Umar was in a hurry to steer the conversation away from Rajni.
“You are the pilot, Umar! You would know of all the good places to go to. But no hills this time, please.”
“Yes, I agree. That leaves the beaches. And I don’t want to go to Goa. What about Diu?”
“Yes, that sounds like fun, Umar. Exciting!”
“And here comes the piece de resistance… We will take a charter flight run by our company, and I will fly it myself. Can’t trust any other pilot, can we? It will work out cheaper too.”
“That will be good, Umar! You and I, alone in the sky.”
“Yeah, yeah. And Anil too.”
“Oh yes, Anil too! It will be a threesome.” Niraj was clearly drunk by now.
“What did you say, Niraj?”
“I said you are so handsome.” Niraj was more than drunk now.
“Come on Niraj, you should go to your room. I need to leave too.”
“You coming to my room? My room has a big bed and I have a bigger heart, Umar.”
“No, no, this man will take you to your room.”
Umar signalled to a
hotel staff to take care of Niraj. And then he took care of the bill.
Niraj hugged Umar again before leaving. He also planted a wet kiss on Umar’s fair cheeks. Umar hurriedly wished him goodbye and rushed to his car in the parking lot in the basement. He had been excited about the anniversary trip, before meeting Niraj. But now he was not so sure. Something seemed out of place. Niraj was not behaving like Niraj anymore.
As Umar drove to his house in Vasant Vihar, he called Rajni.
“Hi Rajni! How are you feeling?”
“Want to know the truth?” Rajni asked softly.
“Yes, yes. Everything all right?” Umar was concerned.
“Everything all right. Other than the fact that I saw Top Gun movie on television today, and I am feeling extremely horny about you.”
Later that night, before Umar went to bed, he did a search on Google.
He typed: “Does one split feel horny when the other split is also horny?”
The two most relevant answers he got were:
“Does a girl get horny when they do the splits?”
“Just split from my boyfriend and alone at home and feeling horny.”
23
Another week passed. The anniversary trip was just another week away now. Umar had stayed up late in the night to make the final preparations for the trip and was sleeping in late the next morning.
“Wake up dear,” Rajni kissed Umar’s forehead.
Umar was sleeping with his arms outstretched. It was Umar’s birthday and Rajni wanted to surprise him. Umar had no idea that she was coming to Delhi on his birthday. As he opened his eyes, he felt he was still dreaming. He smiled and closed his eyes. Rajni pinched him hard on his hard stomach.
“Ouchhhh! That hurts!” Umar shouted as he opened his eyes wide open.
“More than the pleasure of seeing me?” Rajni moved closer to him. The bedroom door was locked. Rajni had introduced herself to Umar’s family as a friend who wanted to surprise him on his birthday.
With his outstretched hands, Umar held Rajni around her waist and pulled her towards him. He did not want any more questions and answers. He held Rajni’s short hair with one hand, while holding her waist with the other, and locked his lips against hers. In an early morning kiss, nature has a way of releasing chemicals inside the body that ignore the bad breath. Rajni’s lips and tongues were soon all over Umar’s face and inside his mouth. She kissed him on his nose, eyes, cheeks, forehead and shoulders. Then she looked at him with moist eyes and passionately kissed him again with her wet lips.