by Jayne Hawke
“Yea.”
“Do you want me to come along?”
“No, I’m good, thanks. Do you know where Toil and Trouble is?”
“Sure, it’s on West Street. You won’t be able to miss the neon-green sign.”
I ground my teeth but said nothing. He was fae - of course he’d been told about it.
“Thanks. Are you having any luck?”
“Not yet. I’ve been trying to charm some information out of an Athena witch, but she’s insisting that we talk it out over dinner.”
Insisting my ass.
“Oh, the hardship,” I said with a roll of my eyes.
He smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“We’ll figure this out, Rosalyn.”
“I know.”
We didn’t really have much of a choice. The council would have my head if I didn’t catch that rogue.
38
Toil and Trouble was within walking distance. The sun was past its peak, and the walk wasn’t unbearably hot. I still showed up with my hair looking scruffy and had to quickly try and tidy myself up using a shop window as a mirror. I wasn’t usually vain, but this was the first time I was meeting Amy. I had to make a good impression. She could be my chance to make connections in the supernatural community.
As I’d been warned, the neon green sign was very difficult to miss. It was remarkably small, but it was bright enough to be seen from the far end of the road even in broad daylight. There must have been a techno-witch involved in the making of that sign. The building itself was the same as those on either side of it. The plain white walls had small windows peering into darkness, which had a soft tingle to them. They’d been bespelled to stop humans from looking inside. That made me feel a bit better.
I opened the heavy wooden door and felt that same tingling again. It turned into sharp pinpricks when I took a step forward. Sighing, I waited for the feeling to wash over me. The spell was being very thorough, which I really wasn’t in the mood for. The pinpricks covered every inch of my body, which felt increasingly invasive. There was an audible click when it was finally satisfied that I was worthy.
The main bar was dark with pale gold fae lights hanging in cherry-sized orbs a foot below the tall ceiling. The scents of nature, alcohol, and spices assaulted my nose, making me sneeze. Everyone turned to face me. There weren’t many patrons there in the day, but there were enough to make my cheeks burn under their gazes.
A trio of fae with their gently pointed ears and silver eyes glared at me and muttered to each other. Something about them made me think they were wearing glamours, which suggested they were a more aggressive, less pleasant form of fae. The slightly safer, more sociopathic fae were beautiful. They didn’t need to wear glamours. Those like the redcaps were hideous and wore glamours on the earth plane to try and stay under the radar. I tried to give them a wide berth, and I went to the bar and looked around for Amy.
A tiny waif of a blonde girl gave me a small shy wave, and I headed to her table. The barman trailed behind me with a menu in hand.
“Amy?”
“You must be Rosalyn!”
She scooted along in the wide booth seat, giving me more room to sit next to her. I moved around the heavy square table and sat next to Amy, glad to have a wall at my back. The barman dropped the menus on the table and stalked off again.
I picked up a menu and tried to be subtle about looking Amy over. She was a delicate girl in her late teens. Her pretty pale blue dress fell just below her knees and didn’t seem to hide any weapons.
“Thanks for meeting me,” I said as I put my menu back down.
I couldn’t afford anything other than coffee.
“No, it’s cool. It’s been a while since I hung out with someone. Mom’s death really threw me, and then I was kicked out of the coven. It’s taken some getting used to, being a solitary witch.”
She looked down at her menu with great intensity.
“I’m sorry. It was hard when I lost my mom, too. I’m really glad I had Jake - he’s Callie’s son.”
“Oh, I remember him, he was cute!”
I laughed.
“Don’t tell him that, his ego’s already huge.”
She smiled and placed her menu down, her expression turning serious.
“The booths are all bespelled so no one can hear what’s said inside of one. You can talk freely. So, why did you want to talk to my mom?”
I looked around reflexively. The fae were gesturing at me and muttering something.
“I’m tracking down a garou rogue. He’s been using witch magic to make it impossible to find any traces of him at the kills.”
“That’s interesting.”
A waitress appeared and gave us a plastic smile.
“A Cosmopolitan, please,” Amy said.
“Coffee, thanks. Black. No sugar.”
The waitress raised an eyebrow but maintained that plastic smile before she turned her back.
“What makes you think it’s witch magic?”
“Jake’s half cait sidhe. He said he could feel it.”
Amy nodded and pursed her lips.
“You think the witch is controlling this rogue?”
“That’s my suspicion.”
She nodded and crossed her arms.
“I’m a Ma’at witch now. She called to me, and I was never entirely accepted by Hephaestus. So, I’m not a techno-witch. I don’t have many connections in witch circles, but I can do a little digging. I’m still in training, so don’t expect miracles,” she said with a wry smile.
“Any help would be very much appreciated.”
“So, tell me what happened to you,” she said.
I felt as though she was looking into my very soul.
“Is this your payment, or?”
Nothing was ever free in the supernatural world. Everything was a trade, whether you saw it happening or not.
“No. We’ll discuss payment at another point. You just look like you need someone to talk to.”
I wrinkled my nose.
“That obvious?”
“I’m afraid so.”
I laughed, a harsh bitter sound that I didn’t recognise.
The waitress placed the coffee in front of me. I gave Amy the Cliff’s Notes version of everything as I drank my coffee. I was careful to keep the important details out. It felt good to get it off my chest, the frustration at my treatment by those around me.
“Everyone has to prove themselves in this world. You’re not special in that regard,” she said as she finished her Cosmopolitan.
I felt like she’d just slapped me.
She reached out and squeezed my hand.
“I understand that it’s hard for you right now. I know you’re frustrated, but you’re a stranger in this world.” She held up her finger to stop me from arguing. “Your merc deal was different, and you know it. You were never entitled to real knowledge. Now you are. Prove you’re worthy and fight for your place. Everyone else has to do the same, they just start at a younger age.”
I felt weirdly reassured by that. It stoked the fire burning within me and the determination to show these people what I was capable of.
39
Amy and I soon settled into a more normal conversation about TV, music, and other very human topics. It felt so good to hang out with someone without worries about the rogue or other supernatural concerns. I just let go and enjoyed the couple of hours we spent laughing together.
“Here, you should have my number. I only have mom’s number running in case her old contacts get in touch,” Amy said, giving me her number.
“We’ll have to do this again sometime,” I said as I stood.
“I’d love to!”
The trio of fae had left half an hour earlier. The space was beginning to fill up, though, as the daylight faded and we moved closer to night. A small group of shifters was huddled around a small round table in the middle of the room. Their knees all pressed together, and their shoulders were almost bumpin
g as they whispered over fresh pints of beer. More fae were sprawled out in one of the larger booths, spreading their arms along the back and glaring at anyone who dared come too close.
A shout cut through the air as we stepped out into the balmy air. I glanced over my shoulder and saw a fae flying through the air. He crashed into the wall and slowly slid down it. All hell broke loose after that. Amy tugged on my arm.
“Leave it, it’s normal. The bartenders will handle it.”
She was right. I was more likely to form enemies than allies if I got involved in that.
“I’ll ask around for you. Give me a week or so to get back to you,” Amy said as she started towards her car.
“Great, thanks!”
I turned and began the walk home, feeling better than I had done in a while. Amy had been a lot of fun, and there was some hope that I’d made progress on the rogue problem. I checked my phone and found nothing from Valentin or Jake. I’d been hoping Jake would dig up a lead, but he’d likely got side-tracked trying to get into that witch’s panties.
The walk home was peaceful. Those in normal day jobs had mostly passed through, leaving the roads relatively quiet. Someone with more money than sense tore down the main road in a flashy bright red sportscar. He ran a stop sign and carried on without a care in the world. I shook my head and carried on.
A lot of people in high school had been eager to leave Wolf Ridge, as it was just a small town. I’d been one of them until I got the baking apprenticeship. Now, I could see the appeal of it. A bigger town or city would be suffocating. I needed the forest to run in and the quieter streets. It wasn’t so small that everyone knew everyone’s business, but it kept everything as I was increasingly finding that I liked it.
When I got home, Jake was out. He’d left a note saying he was chasing down something and pizza would arrive at seven. He wasn’t perfect, but he tried in his own way.
40
A week had come and gone. Amy had been in touch to tell me she was still looking, but she was struggling due to her solitary witch status. We had nothing new on the rogue, and Cole was starting to hassle me to do some garou training. I didn’t want to deal with him and the frustration that came with him. My wolf side wanted to make him submit, and his sexy smirk just made everything worse.
Valentin had headed out of town for a little while, and everything was quiet. Jake had left a couple of days prior on some secret trip, leaving me alone to deal with my first full moon.
My reading had said that once I was through my first full moon, I’d be able to shift at will. The full moon would tug at me, but I wouldn’t have to shift if I didn’t want to. I just had to get through that first shift. It sounded ok on paper. Shifting was as natural as breathing for garou. I was prepared for some pain and a tug, but I was confident that I could handle it without Cole. It wasn’t normal for me to be quite so stubborn, but I was determined to prove myself to the supernatural world. Leaning on Cole would take away that chance. I wasn’t meant to be some meek little garou, I was meant to change the world.
It was late afternoon, and it felt as though my skin was too tight. I paced around the living room trying to think calm happy thoughts. Images of a wolf tearing out of my skin filled my mind, and it didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t free myself of them. Loud music only hurt my ears, and I couldn’t focus on baking. Every time I tried to sit down and watch some TV, I got back up again, unable to be still.
The urge to run in the forest was almost overwhelming, but I feared that if I gave in to that, the shift would take hold. It was still daylight. The risk of someone seeing me shift was just too high. Add in the hunters who were prowling the woods during the day, trying to take out the dangerous wolf the humans were worried about, and it was too much. I tried to control my breathing and found my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands hard enough to send rivulets of blood streaming down my wrists.
My pride and ego were crumbling as the sun set. I picked up my phone and called Cole.
“About time,” he said mildly.
I snarled. I couldn’t form words despite my best efforts.
“I’ll be there soon.”
I didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, but I needed help. Keeping my breathing calm and steady was proving to be too much for me. I kept finding myself panting while my heart raced. The urge to rip the human skin off myself was growing with every tick of the clock. I swallowed hard and dug deep to find a happy place where I could hide until Cole got there.
Cycling through memories, I finally found one that worked. I was a little girl wearing the new pale-purple apron mom had given me. I’d been so incredibly proud of that apron. Mom was setting out the ingredients to make a batch of dad’s favourite cookies. Soft classical music filled the kitchen as I pulled my stool into place in front of the kitchen counter. Standing on that stool, I felt like a queen.
Mom guided me through the recipe and explained everything to me as though I were an adult. She gave me the science behind her decisions and told me what to look for at every step. Hot tears trickled down my face as the hole in my heart where she was supposed to be bloomed. I missed her so much.
A knock came from the door, and I swiped the tears away as I stalked towards the door. I flung it open and stepped aside to let Cole inside. The worries over territory and dominance didn’t matter in that moment. I just needed someone to help me get through the shift.
Cole gently closed the door behind him. The infuriating scowl was firmly locked on his face, although his eyes were gentler than usual. He wrapped his hands around my upper arms and gave me a shake.
“Control yourself,” he growled.
I’d been hoping for something a little more calming and zen. I snarled at him and stared him down, daring him to shake me again. He stepped into my space. He was so close our bodies were almost touching. To my chagrin, his scent soothed and calmed me some.
“Pack,” my wolf side whispered.
“You need to learn control, and you need to do it now. If you had have done as I damn well told you and allowed me to train you, you wouldn’t be suffering like this.”
I glared at him. Of course, he was right, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. He dug his fingers deeper into my arms. The pain knocked aside the frustration and helped me focus on other things.
Taking a deep breath, I searched for control. Slowly, the need to pace and bite things faded, and I began to feel as though I was able to breathe again. Cole nodded and released my arms.
“You cannot afford to allow your wolf side to run rampant like that. Tonight, you will shift. Don’t fight it. After tonight, we’ll work on real control.”
There was a growl beneath his words. I took it as a challenge but fought to keep that instinct from taking hold. He was here to help me.
The moon was at its zenith when Cole cupped my face in his hands and said, “Now, Rosalyn. Let it take hold.”
I closed my eyes and stopped fighting back against the wolf that was desperately trying to break free of the cage I’d bound it in.
The agony exploded in my mind. The world went black and my heart stopped dead in my chest for a moment. I was floating in a sea of pure agony. My body wasn’t responding to my commands, and I began to wonder if that was death was. Suddenly, the pain changed, and I felt every nerve catch fire. Every muscle, every bone broke and reformed. I couldn’t scream. There was nothing but the incredible pain as my body no longer felt like my own. It was neverending. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take it. It felt as though every muscle, tendon, and bone had broken and reformed over and over for hours. My vocal cords weren’t working like they were supposed to. Every fibre of my being was shattered and torn apart to make something new. Slowly, it faded, and I was left panting on the forest floor with Cole’s familiar scent wrapped around me. I really hoped it wasn’t going to be like that every time. I opened my eyes to find that everything was clearer than it had been. Breathing in deep, I caught all of the new scents, and
joy erupted within me.
Looking down, I saw a pair of pale cream and red wolf legs. It took me a couple of minutes to get used to having four legs instead of two, but it felt incredible when I did it. Cole sat nearby watching in his blue-grey wolf form with beautiful golden amber eyes. When he stood, he was a good few inches taller than me at the shoulder, but I didn’t feel intimidated.
As soon as I had real control over my legs, I took off into the forest. The ground felt right beneath my paws, and the warm breeze caressed my fur. Never before had I felt such exhilaration as I pushed myself to run faster between the tall trees with the full moon overhead.
Trails didn’t matter. Nor did direction. I was running for the sake of running. I was running to feel the burn in my muscles and the hard earth beneath my paws. We leapt over logs and raced along shallow streams, never slowing down or looking where we were going. The forest was alive around us. Nocturnal animals scurried around. A fox caught a small mouse and hid beneath a thick bush as we tore by.
Finally, I understood what bliss felt like.
It had to end somehow. I never pictured it would be with the shock of pain rippling through my upper back leg. Fire burned my veins and blood streamed down, making my fur sticky. My muscles began to cramp, and I knew that I’d been hit with wolfsbane.
“Keep running,” Cole said into my mind.
I could hear them now. The quick footsteps hot on our heels. The scent of wolfsbane was surrounding me and making me nauseous. The fire crept through my body, slowly edging towards my heart. It was growing harder to run, and they were closing in.
The sound of a bullet echoed through the forest around us, and Cole grunted. He herded me away from them and nipped at my flanks when I started to slow. We twisted and turned through the woods and jumped down ragged rocks before we ran up a shallow stream and finally I couldn’t hear their footsteps any more.
Cole continued to nudge and nip me to keep me going. Breathing was becoming harder. My body was desperately trying to heal itself and keep the fire at bay. I dropped down onto my belly when we reached Cole’s back yard. I couldn’t do it anymore. My legs weren’t responding correctly.