by Merry Farmer
“So you think she does want to marry me, even though she swears she doesn’t now?” Linus gaped at him, leaning into the leg he was stretching.
“I would wager she does. And you still want to marry her,” Fergus said. “Because, like it or not, the two of you were made for each other. It was only a matter of time before the two of you hit your first bump in the road anyhow.”
Linus frowned and continued his work. “How so?”
“You’ve both got your heads so high in the clouds that neither of you know what’s going on around you most of the time,” Fergus said, still full of good humor. “She may be the young and innocent one, but you’re just as idealistic and unconventional as her. That’s why the two of you make such a good pair. In spite of the scandal the whole affair will cause.”
“So you think we should marry?” Linus asked, switching back to Fergus’s other leg for a different set of stretches.
“Of course,” Fergus said with as much of a shrug as he could manage while lying down.
“And once we do, we’ll set up house with you and Lady O’Shea, I suppose,” Linus went on, intending the comment to be sarcastic.
“You are my personal physician,” Fergus said, mischief glinting in his eyes.
Linus stopped what he was doing to stare at the man. “You’re serious.” He blinked. “You want Natalia and I to live under the same roof as you and Henrietta once we’re married?”
“It would solve the problem of where the bird and the fish would build their home,” Fergus said.
Linus just gaped at him. Fergus was right that an arrangement such as that would solve some problems, but it was far from the normal life that Linus thought he wanted. Then again, how much of a chance did he and Natalia have of living a normal life anyhow?
“Don’t let pride get in the way of love,” Fergus advised him in a suddenly sage voice. “I almost did, and it would have been the death of me. We all have to make allowances where and when we can, especially in a marriage.”
Linus lowered his head slightly as he thought through Fergus’s words. He was right. Fergus had lost any chance he would ever have of a normal life when he was attacked and injured, but he and Henrietta had fallen in love and married anyhow. The two of them seemed perfectly happy now. It left Linus wondering what sacrifices he might be willing to make in order to have a happy marriage himself, even if it wasn’t a normal one.
“I wish it would either rain again or clear up entirely,” Natalia sighed as she walked along a simple path that meandered around the grounds of Dunegard Castle, looking out over the sea. “There’s something terribly unsettling about a day that can’t make up its mind.”
Beside her, Lady Phoebe hummed. Natalia assumed she was humming in agreement, but there was no way to be certain. Especially with the way Phoebe stared at her mother and Dr. Horace Townsend, who walked several paces in front of them. The two of them looked as though they were walking through the brightest summer sunshine and enjoying every moment of it.
“Ugh,” Natalia grunted, scrunching up her face at the sight of the couple. “There are few things more irritating than watching two people in love when your own romance has hit the rocks.”
Phoebe whipped to face her, going pale in alarm. “My mother and Dr. Townsend are not in love,” she said quickly.
Natalia’s brow knit into a frown, and she took a second look at the older couple. “Are you quite certain? They look very attached to me.”
“Attached is not the same thing as in love,” Phoebe said in a grim tone. She didn’t elaborate, though. Instead, she went back to studying Natalia, her eyes narrowed in curiosity. “I thought you loved the younger Dr. Townsend. The two of you are engaged now, aren’t you?”
“We are,” Natalia replied. “Against my will and my better judgement.”
Phoebe’s curious look only deepened. “But did we not run off on this mad-capped adventure because you are desperately in love with Dr. Townsend and couldn’t stand to be apart from him for another moment?”
If someone had asked her the same question just a few days before, Natalia would have replied with heartfelt energy that she did love Linus and that nothing would stand between them. So much had happened in the past few days, though, that all Phoebe’s question prompted in her was an eerie feeling of being lost.
“I wasn’t thinking,” she admitted, lowering her head. “The fact that Linus is so different from any other man that I’ve known, so opposite of the sort you and I are expected to marry, seemed exciting and fun.”
“But now?” Phoebe prompted her when she didn’t go on.
Natalia shrugged. “The things that happened between us on that island….” She didn’t know how to go on.
Phoebe sent her an anxious, sideways look. “Did he behave inappropriately toward you?” she whispered.
Natalia returned the question with a bashful grin. “We both behaved inappropriately with each other. It was the very best of the things that happened on the island.”
Phoebe’s face fell into a frown. “So then, you didn’t mind…those things?”
“Mind them?” Natalia laughed, then fixed her friend with a mischievous look. “Those things are wonderful.”
That only increased Phoebe’s confusion. “Then why are you so distraught now? What could he have possibly done that was so horrible you’d change your mind about marrying him if those things were wonderful?”
Natalia grinned as though her friend were simple, but the dismissive reaction didn’t last long. She couldn’t very well think less of Phoebe for finding intimacy to be something shocking and dire when the very answer to her friend’s question proved that she was as much of a ninny as the next young lady.
“He tried to tell me how to cook eggs,” she said, lowering her head sheepishly. “And how to do laundry. I couldn’t believe his nerve.”
Phoebe blinked at her. A strange flush came to her cheeks—one that piqued Natalia’s curiosity. Before she even had to ask, Phoebe answered that curiosity by saying, “You’re beginning to sound like my mother.”
The comment struck Natalia to the bone. She gasped. “I am not at all like your mother. Why, your mother is—” She stopped, realizing she couldn’t very well call Lady Darlington silly and irrational to her daughter’s face.
Then again, those very adjectives were ones that had been used to describe her on more than a few occasions.
Natalia’s insides twisted. Was she like Lady Darlington?
“I’ve had to learn to cook eggs and do laundry myself in the last year,” Phoebe went on, seemingly unaware of the turmoil she’d caused in Natalia. “They are useful skills to have.”
Natalia’s brow shot up. “They don’t have anyone at the boarding house to do that for you?”
Phoebe shook her head. “Heavens no. Mama and I must take a turn in the household tasks along with every other boarder,” she whispered, as though the truth were something to be ashamed of.
Natalia had to admit that she was shocked. “But your father was a marquess,” she whispered.
“And when he died, the title passed to a third cousin somewhere,” Phoebe whispered back. “One Mama and I do not know and who was adamant about being unwilling to support a strange widow and her daughter.”
“But surely your father left an allowance for you and your mother.”
Phoebe shook her head. “He left debts, nothing more.” She pressed her lips shut as if unwilling to go on.
Ahead of them, Lady Darlington laughed at something Linus’s father said. Natalia narrowed her eyes, studying both of them from a different angle. “Dr. Townsend is going to be quite put out when he discovers your mother has nothing to her name.”
“She thinks she might be entitled to an inheritance from an Irish aunt,” Phoebe said. “That’s why she was so eager to come over here.”
“And is she?” Natalia asked.
Phoebe shook her head. “I doubt it.” She paused before saying, “Poverty can give rise to every manner o
f false hope. If you’ll forgive me, being taught to cook eggs and do laundry isn’t an insult, as you seem to imply. It could be the difference between destitution and independence.”
Natalia lowered her head once more, bowled over by a wave of guilt that swept through her. “I reacted badly,” she said with a sigh.
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she changed her mind.
“No, I didn’t,” she said. “Linus was heavy-handed and arrogant in the way he told me how to do those things. He seems to think that I should be overjoyed to go from the life I’ve been raised to live into that of a common drudge.”
“Are you certain that’s what he meant?” Phoebe asked with a serious look.
“Well, if not exactly, he certainly expects me to become someone I’m not,” Natalia said with a nod.
“And what do you expect him to become?”
Natalia glanced to her friend with a wince. “I don’t need him to be anything other than who he is,” she said, though she wondered if she really meant that. The horrible idea that she and Lady Darlington were cut from the same cloth came back to her. But no, her innocence couldn’t possibly turn into Lady Darlington’s sort of ignorance…could it?
They walked for a few more minutes in silence before Phoebe said, “While I am the last person on earth to give advice about marriage—since I am not married and likely won’t be at this point—I must say this one thing.”
Natalia looked to her far more eagerly than she would have thought.
“Marriage, as it appears to me, is a blending of two lives,” Phoebe said. “All the expectations in the world cannot come close to the reality of that blending. It is always going to be a challenge, but different stations in life will make it even more so. But if you love the man, as I’m certain you love Dr. Townsend, then you must work to make a happy life for yourselves.”
“But how do I know I want to marry him?” Natalia fired back. “How do I know my feelings for him weren’t just some childish fantasy that I indulged a little too much?”
Phoebe answered her question with a frank stare. “Is Lord Malcolm going to let you back out of the marriage?”
Natalia slumped her shoulders and huffed out a breath. “No. As much as I hate it, he will not.”
“There’s your answer, then,” Phoebe said. “’Til death do you part, you’re going to have to figure out how to make it work. Otherwise….” She let her sentence hang in the damp, sea air like rain about to fall.
Natalia’s heart sank. Not so much because she despised the idea of marrying Linus—it was everything she’d wanted just a few days ago—but because she was being forced into it. She hated being forced into anything.
Her thoughts were stopped from tumbling off a cliff of despair as Dr. Townsend and Lady Darlington stopped at the edge of a promontory several yards in front of them.
“Yes, yes, I see what you mean,” Lady Darlington exclaimed in a breathless voice, clutching her hands to her chest. “It would make the perfect location for a religious community.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Dr. Townsend said. “I can see it now—rows of cozy cottages, a church where God and His love could be worshiped in fullness, fields of crops and livestock, perhaps a few small factories of some sort to provide income for the community.”
Natalia exchanged a wary look with Phoebe, not certain she approved of the sort of scheme Linus’s father was suggesting.
“People will come from far and wide,” Lady Darlington went on, stretching her arms out toward the horizon. “No one would ever have to go on alone again.”
“All it will take is a little initial investment from a few enterprising souls,” Dr. Townsend finished her thought.
Natalia’s heart sank to her gut. “It sounds as though he’s describing a pocket empire to me,” she mumbled to Phoebe.
“And Mama is in such a state that she’ll be taken in for certain,” Phoebe whispered back.
“I’m certain that if we speak to some of the notable locals we will find financial and spiritual support for the community,” Lady Darlington said, starting down the path once more. “We simply need introductions.”
“A person such as yourself should be able to get those introductions in no time,” Dr. Townsend said, following her and offering his arm.
Natalia and Phoebe exchanged another look. “You don’t suppose Dr. Townsend is about to lead your mother into something nefarious, do you?” Natalia asked.
“I’m certain of it,” Phoebe said, coming close to sobbing. “We have so little to begin with. I shudder to think what will happen to us if this scheme is a success. Being thrown out of the boarding house and onto the street will be the least of our worries.”
“We have to do something about it, then,” Natalia said, grasping Phoebe’s arm. “We’ll have to get Linus to do something about it is more like.” She steered Phoebe back along the path the way they’d come instead of following Lady Darlington and Linus’s father. “Linus will answer for this,” she said, filling with determination. “He will answer for a great many things.”
Chapter 14
The rain had started up again by the time Natalia and Phoebe made it back to the castle. Unlike when they had all arrived the day before, though, fires had been lit in every room to ward off the chill, and instead of seeming like a barren and ancient rampart, Dunegard Castle felt like a stately home. Which only tangled up Natalia’s emotions all the more. She wouldn’t mind living in an Irish castle by the sea, but that didn’t seem likely, now that her fate was tied to Linus.
She and Phoebe found Linus in a parlor with tall windows that faced the sea. The moment they stepped into the room, Natalia stopped short at the sight that met her. Lord O’Shea was prone on a chaise lounge while Linus leaned over him in an almost intimate pose. Natalia’s mouth dropped open at the sight, but she couldn’t think of a blasted thing to say.
“Natalia,” Linus greeted her with an attempt at a smile, as though nothing were at all out of the ordinary. “What brings you here? I was told you’d gone out for a walk.” He leaned away from Lord O’Shea, pulling and straightening the man’s leg as he did.
Natalia’s brow furrowed as she studied Lord O’Shea, whose arms rested behind his head in a posture of relaxation, even though his face was tense with strain. She blinked as the realization struck her that Linus was in the middle of what could only have been a medical procedure. She’d never seen Linus at work before, other than the few times she’d spotted him helping Lord O’Shea. In her imagination, he dressed in a formal, white coat while treating patients and perhaps performed surgery on them. It had never dawned on her that his form of medical care involved…whatever it was she was witnessing. Oddly enough, it filled her with a strange sort of admiration. He truly must have discovered a kind of care that no one had thought to implement before.
“Natalia?” Linus asked, shaking her back to the present. “Is there something you need?”
Natalia drew in a breath, squaring her shoulders and preparing for battle. “I need you to stop your father from ruining Lady Phoebe’s mother.” She gestured to Phoebe, who stood silently to the side, chewing her lip.
Rather than arguing with her, or launching into motion to do exactly as she said, Linus sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “There’s no stopping my father when he gets an idea like this into his head.”
“Well, you need to stop him.” Natalia took a step forward, reenergized by the conflict between them. It felt much better to be angry than it did to waver in uncertainty.
Lord O’Shea shifted on the chaise, pushing himself to a sitting position, then moving his legs to hang over the side of the chaise. “Bring me my chair. I should probably let the two of you be alone to hash this out.”
His comment made Natalia feel self-conscious. She could feel the heat rise up her face as Linus started toward where Lord O’Shea’s wheelchair was parked. Phoebe beat him to it, though. She looked as uncomfortable in the situation as anyone and jumped to gras
p the chair’s handles so that she could wheel it over to the chaise.
It was disconcerting to have the energy of wanting to get into a fight with Linus punctured once again as Linus helped Lord O’Shea into his chair. Natalia hugged herself as she watched, wondering how she could hold onto her indignation about all the unfairness in her world while watching the struggles of a man who had had so much stolen from him simply because he was Irish and a pack of bullies didn’t like it.
By the time Lord O’Shea was settled and Phoebe wheeled him out of the room, Natalia felt rather like a child who had been stopped from throwing a temper tantrum by a well-timed distraction from her nanny. Or rather, she felt like Lady Darlington on one of her tears. That comparison filled her with a whole different kind of frustration.
“I don’t like feeling as though I’m the only one in the room who doesn’t understand the joke,” she blurted as Linus turned his attention to her.
Whatever Linus had been expecting her to say, it was clear that wasn’t it. “What joke don’t you understand?” he asked, his voice far softer than she would have spoken with, had their roles been reversed.
She wavered on her spot for a moment before plodding across the room, the weight of her inexperience on her shoulders, to look out one of the tall windows at the green and rainy landscape.
“My whole life, everyone in my family has carried on with any number of strange or wicked things, but no one would ever stoop to explain their reasoning—or even what they were doing—to me.” She hugged herself as she watched the landscape grow blurrier as the rain intensified.
Linus walked slowly up behind her. “What does that have to do with me?” he asked.
She whipped to face him, eyes wide with indignation. “Everything. I’m on the verge of being forced to marry you because nobody bothered to tell me….” She gave up her line of argument with a sigh, lowering her head. She would not turn into Lady Darlington. Not if she could help it. “That’s not fair of me. I’m sure everybody tried to tell me I was being foolish, childish, even.” She squeezed her eyes shut as they suddenly stung with tears. “I’m so tired of being the ridiculous, ignorant, grey sheep of the family.”