by Violet Paige
I kissed her lips gently, knowing I hadn’t done anything gently before this moment.
“I’ve never felt anything like that.” Her green eyes sparkled.
“Me either.” I kissed her throat. My chest tightened. I was holding her, the one woman made for me, but the realization hit me like a stray bullet.
I wanted more.
Sixteen
Gretchen
“Let me help you.” Brett carefully pulled me from the table. My back was sore where it had been pressed into the wood, but I wasn’t going to complain. I felt reckless and wild for once in my life.
“Thank you.” I looked in his eyes.
“Come on.” He picked me up.
“Where are we going?”
“Shower.” He nudged the door open with his foot.
He held me against his chest while he turned the water on. Carefully, he set my feet on the shower floor and then stepped in behind me.
I leaned against his back as his hands began to lather soap over my breasts. My body had never felt like this before. It hummed and tingled all over. My muscles felt tired and soothed at the same time.
He kissed the top of my head.
“I feel different.” I hadn’t meant to say it, but it came out anyway.
“What do you mean?” His hands worked the bubbles over my stomach.
“I can’t explain it. I know it has to be hormones, right? The adrenaline leaving the body with a sense of exhaustion. There’s a biological explanation for all sensation.”
“Is that what you think about sex? You break down the medical components?” He laughed and I realized I must sound ridiculous. The super nerd in me was coming out.
I shook my head. “No, I’m just thinking out loud.” I smiled when I felt his hand slide between my legs.
I was so sore. He had been rough and demanding. But his touch was warm and gentle.
“It’s just…” my words trailed off.
I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t enjoy what we experienced on the kitchen table. That I couldn’t get pure pleasure from his body, because holy hell I did. He had fucked me all the right ways.
He spun me to face him. The water trickled over his chest.
“I like that you’re smart, doc.” He kissed my forehead. “I think it’s kind of sexy how you try to analyze everything.”
“Sexy?”
“Yeah. Fucking sexy.” He grinned. His fingers trailed over the slit between my legs and I sighed. “See? When you do that.”
“What?” I breathed, knowing my hips were rocking into his fingers. They were like a magnet to my clit. I couldn’t stay away.
“Make those sounds.” He slid a finger inside me and he grinned wickedly when I groaned.
“I can’t help it.” It was as if I had lost any control of my body when he touched me. I did whatever he wanted.
“I don’t want you to stop.” His mouth covered mine as his tongue began to move over my lips. “Let me hear you, doc.”
My eyes flashed to his, feeling another finger spread me wider. “Ohh,” I cried, sinking harder on his hand.
He smiled, moving in and out of me, groaning with satisfaction as my whimpers turned to moans. I danced up and down on his hand, letting his fingers guide the sounds from me. With a twist of his thumb over my nub, I screamed his name.
He kissed me. “That is what I call fucking sexy.”
I rested my forehead against his chest while my body came down from the high he had given me. I took the soap from his hands. I couldn’t wait to wash every inch of his muscular frame.
“Too bad we can’t do this every day.” I started with his chest, loving how firm it was.
“Maybe one day.” He looked at me with hints of sadness in his dark eyes.
“Tomorrow I’m back in the ER. What are doing on the rest of your leave?” I worked the bubbles lower, covering the hard lines of his ribs.
“I’ve got some family business I have to take care of.”
“Is that why your cousin keeps stopping by?” I asked. I hoped I didn’t sound too nosey. I knew he was a private man. I wanted to respect that, but I still had questions.
My thumbs made circles over his hip bones. I sucked in a sharp breath. His body was gorgeous. I wondered if he would let me return the favor. I didn’t know if I could stop once I got started.
He nodded. “I have to take care of a few things before I leave again. There’s a lot more going on here than I expected. It’s been more difficult than I thought.”
I felt the stab of pain as the words filled the shower. I couldn’t imagine him leaving. He had just gotten home. I had just met him. He couldn’t leave so soon. Not now. Not when we were just getting to know each other.
“And when is that?” I was afraid to hear his answer.
“I don’t know. I don’t have my orders yet. I won’t be here more than three weeks. It could be closer to one.” He tilted my chin upward, locking his eyes on me. “I think we need to talk, doc.”
He reached across me and turned off the shower. I stood as he wrapped a towel around me and stepped from the shower. Something was different. His tone. His mood. The sexy banter had vanished.
I followed him to the bedroom and sat on the bed, clutching the towel to my chest. The water droplets rolled along my skin.
“Clothes.” He pointed. “Get dressed and we can talk over lunch.”
Before I had a chance to ask what it was about, he pulled the bedroom door behind him and was gone.
I stared at the closed door. I tried to remind myself I didn’t know Brett. There was no telling what he was dealing with from his acclimation back into U.S. culture, but there was something nagging at me, telling me this had nothing to do with his Delta status and everything to do with us. With me.
I got dressed, toweled my hair dry, and walked to the kitchen.
Seventeen
Brett
I worked on lunch while Gretchen got dressed. I shuffled around the small kitchen, searing steaks and sautéing vegetables. I put two plates on the table and waited for her to emerge from the bedroom.
I knew I was jumping from hot to cold, but that’s how everything felt. Holding her, making her come undone was the hottest sensation I had ever felt. Knowing I had to leave again, made things come back into a chilly focus.
Gretchen appeared in the doorway.
“Sit.” I pulled a chair for her.
“Looks good. I’m starving.” She smiled.
I sat across from her. Time had slipped away. Lunch had run into dinner. There wasn’t going to be much more time before I had to meet with the two warring families. I needed to get this over with.
We ate quietly while I tried to think about how to explain to her what I was about to tell her. There were no good words. No good excuses. No good stories.
“Doc?”
“Mmmhmm?” She looked up from her steak.
“I need to talk to you. It’s important. And confusing,” I added. “I want to try to say this right.”
“Ok. What is it?”
“You know I have to go back with my Delta team?” Better to phrase things in a concrete way if I could.
She nodded. “You’ve mentioned it several times. You said your mission wasn’t over yet.” She pushed back from the table. “I wish you didn’t have to go back.”
“That’s right. It’s not.” I paused. “Let’s go sit by the fire.” I led her to the living room, where the flames had kicked up.
I pulled her against me on the sofa, loving how her body fit against mine. I kissed the top of her head.
“I need your help, doc.”
She pulled her legs behind her as we stared into the crackling logs. I wished like hell we could talk about anything else.
“What is it?” Her hand pressed against my chest, resting where my heart beat rapidly.
“I haven’t been exactly honest with you.”
“What are you talking about?” She sat forward, her eyes meeting mine.
She nodded. “I know I shouldn’t have said anything. I probably completely freaked you out.”
“No that’s not it.” I shook my head.
She kept going. “It’s like there is something buzzing in me as if I’m drunk, but I’m completely sober. It sounds stupid, and like I’m in high school.”
I thought it would be easier to tell her. I thought I had been trained enough to handle any situation, but with Gretchen in front of me my world had been turned upside down.
“God, Gretchen. Everything I thought is different now. I want two different things. I need them both. And three days this wasn’t even possible.”
“What are they?” she asked. “What is it, Brett?”
“For the first time in my life, I’ve wanted something I’ve never wanted before. I want to get lost in you. So lost I don’t remember what day it is.”
She smiled. “Me too.”
“But I want to go back to Razastan.”
The smile fell from her lips. “Oh. I didn’t expect that part.”
“I’ve trained my entire life to be a Delta. It’s who I am. At least until I met you it was everything I wanted to be, but you’ve awakened something entirely different in me. A part of me I ran from. The part of me I ignored. The part of me I didn’t want to face, but was waiting for me here in Havenville.”
“What part is that?” she whispered.
“My family responsibility. My legacy.”
Now that the words were out, I had more clarity. I had devoted myself to Special Forces to avoid being responsible. I thought being a part of an elite force of men would be more powerful than what I was needed for here. It would drive me. It would feed me.
But it didn’t compare to the need I had for Gretchen.
“Your what?”
“Doc, don’t try to analyze this. Don’t start digging for medical terms and scientific explanations.” I held her shoulders firmly in his hands. “This isn’t something you can put a label on or find in a text book.”
“I’m confused. What do you mean your legacy?” She shook her head.
“The land that my cabin is on has been in my family for hundreds of years.”
She nodded. “Ok. That’s not hard to understand. You have history here. You told me about your childhood. I love that.”
“It has more to do with money than family memories, unfortunately. This land is very valuable. Worth millions. When my father passed away, he made me sign a contract.” I exhaled. “We had a difficult past. He thought I should stay here and live up to the family name by conserving the land. I wanted to travel the world, and get the hell out of Havenville.”
She nodded again, slowly this time. “Ok. Keep going.”
“He got very sick, it happened quickly. I came home one day to a contract that was included in his will that said to keep the land in our family name, I had to marry...and have a child.”
She froze. I tried to grab her but she wiggled out of my grasp.
“Wait, what?”
“There’s a contract,” I repeated. “It states I need to get married and have a baby.”
“So what exactly are you saying?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest.
I sighed and put my head in hands. “A long time ago there was feuding with the neighboring families, the Osborns, about whose land was whose. An agreement was made but somehow those families have found out about the contract and since I’m not married…” I trailed off. “They think they have a legal claim to take everything.”
Her face flashed with understanding. “Sine you’re not married, you and your family will lose the land? All of it?”
I nodded. “Yes. All of it. There’s a lawsuit. And the Osborns are taking an expedited case to a judge.”
“It will all be lost?” Her eyes were wide.
“Unless I get married.”
“And have a baby,” she whispered.
“Yes. That too.”
I rose from the couch. I wanted to calm her. I reached for her. “When you told me you couldn’t get pregnant it didn't bother me. There are other ways, you said it yourself.” I didn’t want to tell her seeing how much she cared made me crave more of her.
“Holy shit, Brett. Are you saying you want to get married?”
I shrugged. “Why not?”
“Oh my God. This is happening so fast.” She looked around wildly.
I let her process. She was good with facts. I would just keep giving her those. The more facts she had, the more she could put together a logical chain of events.
“As long as I’m married before I leave for the next mission, I know the court battle will stop.” I paused. “Listen, doc. I might not have been able to leave again for the desert if you were pregnant. I wouldn’t have been able to, but you’re a strong independent woman. I know you can handle another mission. You’ll be fine when I leave.”
“That’s why you like my independence? Because you can’t knock me up? You can leave me here alone?” She sounded hurt.
“Ok, that didn’t come out right. I’m not that big of a dick. It just seemed like the perfect scenario. We can have kids later. When I’m done with Delta. You have the hospital. I have my team. Two separate successful careers.”
Her eyes flared. “How fucking calculated are you?”
“I thought it was honorable, not calculating.”
“Nothing about what you’ve done is honorable.” She raced to the bedroom. I followed her down the hall.
“What are you doing?” I asked,
“I’m grabbing my bag. I will hike out of these woods if I have to.”
“Stop. Gretchen, stop. Maybe my tactics weren’t the best.”
She whipped around. “You’ve been in the desert too long. Have you lost all touch with your humanity? I can take a one-night stand. I can take a fuck buddy. What I can’t take is this. I don’t even know what it is.” Her eyes welled with tears. “What have you done to me?”
I couldn’t take it anymore, I pulled her against my chest, despite her desperate pushes against me.
“I’m sorry. I fucked it all up,” I groaned.
“I’m so mad at you right now.” She sniffed. “I gave you my body. I’ve never done those things with anyone else. You’re a jackass.”
“Ok. I deserve that.” I rubbed her back, drawing her face toward mine. “But please don’t walk out of here. Don’t leave when we just got started.”
“I should.”
“Don’t,” I growled.
“I don’t know if I could.” She shook her head. “My body aches for you.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I feel the same way. It’s because you’re mine. I’m yours. And you know deep down, doc you want to marry me.”
“I don’t believe any of it.”
I brushed a tear from her cheek. “You will.”
She shoved against me until I had to let go. “I need some space, Brett. I think I should sleep at home tonight. I can’t stay with you. I can’t be near you.”
“Because of the contract or because you know I’m right? You’re going to be my wife.”
“No. I don’t know. Because of all of it.”
“All right. I’ll drive you home. But I want to see you tomorrow.”
“That’s going to be difficult. I have a twelve-hour shift tomorrow and the next three days. I work then go home and collapse. Sometimes I stay at the hospital and sleep.”
“I’ll wait.”
“You will?” She searched my eyes.
“Whether you’re at the hospital, or I’m on a mission we’re always going to find our way back to each other. This is forever, Gretchen. I can wait a few days.”
“I don’t know if that’s going to be enough.”
It wasn’t the time to tell her our timetable was limited. I would give her what she needed now. Maybe it would bring her back to me faster.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
Eighteen
Gretchen
I filled a Styrofoam cup. I sat on the bench in the doctors’ lounge. It had been three days since Brett had dropped me off on my front porch.
Life had flipped upside down. The only thing that made me feel grounded was work. I examined patients, prescribed medications, and slept. I extended my shifts, not wanting to go home. I didn’t know if I was worried he would be at the house waiting, or if I would be crushed if he wasn’t.
The crazy sex humming that had coated my body had finally evaporated. It was easier to think without feeling like I was always on the verge of spiraling into another orgasm, but my craving for Brett hadn’t stopped.
I missed him.
I wanted to know where he was. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to feel his lips on mine. I wanted his hands on my hips. I tipped the coffee to my lips and spit it back in the cup. It tasted strange and the smell made my stomach turn. I tossed it in the trash.
None of it made sense. How could someone I just met have this effect on me?
I walked to the nurses’ station and pulled a clipboard from the top stack.
“You have a patient in room one,” Darla called over the counter.
“What’s that smirk for?” I asked.
“Let’s just say I’d like to take his vitals.” She winked.
“Oh, good grief.” I pulled my hair on top of my head, before charging into the room. The chart was practically blank. The patient was listed as John Doe. The injury was a six-inch laceration to the arm.
“Ok, Mr. Doe, I’m Dr. Forrest. Let’s take a look at your arm.” I closed the door behind me and looked at the man in the bed.
“Hi, doc.” Brett smiled.
I stopped at the end of the examination table. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugged. “I had an injury, and I only want the best doctor looking at my arm.”
I pursed my lips together. “I thought you said you were going to give me some space.”